Andrea Hill is a bullshit disruptor, a blindspot revealer, and love seeking missile launcher /Ep2729 - a podcast by Engel Jones

Previous Episode 805

I’ve always been a sensitive being, ever since I was a kid, I would be devastated if someone was treated poorly or thought poorly of themselves. I could not understand why people couldn’t see the the magic that resided within them. Most poignantly, I felt this most deeply, when I experienced the death of two dear friends that never received what they most longed for in life, to be loved and accepted, never understanding they were the key to access it all.

Being a sensitive soul, as I am sure you can imagine (or perhaps can relate), I too struggled. I was bullied horribly in school and at home, and as a result became so seperated from the understanding of my value and who I was, that I became deeply challenged in my ability to connect with others in any way that honored me.

My coping mechanism was perfectionism and people pleasing - not a good combo. Which resulted in years of making choices that did not reflect the aunthentic nature of who I was, or my innate value. After MANY shitty relationships, which included unhealthy ones with my body, my feminine nature, sex, and people in general; partnered with the cataclysmic life event of losing my beloved mother, I unwittingly (and not so gracefully) began my journey back home to myself. I began to look within instead of without. I reconnected with that sensitive little girl that had been doing her utmost to keep me safe amidst a treasure trove of self limiting beliefs and poor life choices as proof that I wasn’t good enough, and let her off the hook. As my awareness grew, I made the brave and conscious choice to dive into my own proverbial deep end, to start doing the loving work of clearing and cleaning up what had been keeping me from the truth of mySelf.

That I am worthy and capable of giving and receiving great love.

Now, I am no longer devastated when I witness others not loving and valuing themselves, because now, I can help.

My first loving reminder to you… your path back home to you has been there all along. Let me show you the way.