Podcasts by 2 jews & a Microphone

The End of the Year Not-So-Special from 2021-12-18T21:51:15

One co-host goes to the Motherland and the other asks about it | Falafel - Palestinians battle the Jewish Israelis in the only fight that matters | Frying chickpeas is a stain on Vegetarianism |...

Freddy Krueger is Good for Kids from 2021-11-22T01:00

Guest co-host Ragnar discusses why he allows his 8 year old to watch horror movies which invariably leads to discussions on the following:

• The pussification of America's youth (tri...
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Don't Listen to this Episode from 2021-11-15T06:00:10

Not one of Shlomo & Moshe's better ones. They inappropriately discuss doing podcasts for the Homeless and what topics they might discuss. A conversation about the miseries of childcare, and ...

Caucasians - The New Asians from 2021-11-06T05:03:24

Dad Jokes - What's wrong with that | Girl Scout Cookies | Caucasians - The New Asians | Living Close to a Trader Joe's means something...about you | A Squat - Not much difference between the dwe...

Masking Masculine Mimes from 2021-10-20T02:07:13

Code Switching - The Hosts' Real Identities revealed | Finally getting Listener Number 10 | Papaya Pie feels better than Apple Pie, allegedly | Who is the Master of the Thermostat | Confirmation...

2 Jews get a bit too Jewish from 2021-10-08T16:22:22

The High Holiday season overwhelms the hosts who find too many topics related to Jewish holidays. Our Muslim fan base may want to skip this episode. Norm Macdonald Died - Was he really a Jew | O...

Season 2 - We've been Renewed from 2021-09-16T03:12:33

Them Jews are back but why so many listeners in Africa | Is it wrong to wear clothing advertising a large multi-national | T-shirts & Pens - where are they coming from and how do we end up w...

Pistachio Perjoratives from 2021-08-05T04:27:59

NUTS Get your hot nuts - The Semites talk pistachios, pecans and some other nuts you might know. Why all the alternatives to Google search suck so stop hating Google. Listeners write in during t...

Van Gogh was a terrible Cribbage Player from 2021-07-19T04:35:44

• Reaching the end of the internet
• Lost in translation 
• Bryant Gumbel does not come on the show
• Cribbage versus Candy Krush
• Kids video games ...
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Bukake is Not a cake for your Boo, or is it? from 2021-06-15T03:55:03

• Corporations - They need to find things for their employees to do much like parents with bored children
• Zoom - introduces a voice to provide a 'perv alert'
• AI - What ...
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The Jared Kushner Interview from 2021-06-02T15:38:42

The Semites break a record in listenership. Promises of phallic pumps go unmet. Rolling Stones agree to be podcast's house band. Belarus - Have you heard of this place? Ryan Air is when you know...

Colonoscopies are Rape or the Awakening of Straight Men to Anal Fantasy from 2021-05-26T02:30:35

An in-depth discussion on one of the most vaunted rituals in welcoming middle age: the colonoscopy. And other anal exams. The hosts share their personal horrors and triumphs with the anal probe....

Incels Appropriate the N Word from 2021-05-14T02:44:50

Why killing is good for the ego. And why does America produce so many fantastic killers. Meeting your doppelganger. Are you systemically racist? Is it possible American police need to shoot? Why...

The Gentrification Vaccination Proclamation from 2021-04-26T17:15:08

Lots of vaccination talk and gentrification talk, and a look at what would happen if the capital city of Burkina Faso, unpronounceable to even gentrifiers, would develop if such persons were to ...

A Mossad Agent Exposes Himself from 2021-04-18T03:21:24

A former Mossad agent living in exile shows listeners why Jews are profound thinkers including but not limited to: Safardic penis envy, The Israeli Blacks, Why American Jews are weak and worthle...

Nutella is Pulling their Sponsorship from 2021-04-10T04:49:58

Nutella. Fellatio. The Homeless. Privilege. The intersectionality of these 4 traits form the basis for today's show. Plus some vaccine chatter, toys of our youth, matzah toppings, Korean Christi...

Semites are Asians in Disguise from 2021-03-27T05:54:02

Chad - still a country, no longer a cool name. Covid - 1 year anniversary, let's party and reflect. Public Sector Unions - A disgrace but are they still necessary. And why are Chicagoans scared ...

Don't Cancel The Donger from 2021-03-13T05:42:45

The Semites win an award. Bruce is Jersey. Or not. Improv still sucks. The American obsession with making pop cultural references, particularly when it comes to comedy. How to win friends and in...

Handjobs for/by the Homeless from 2021-03-03T03:28:48

Topics: Dubya's secret podcast. The joy of nocturnal emissions in the White House. Ejaculate is both a verb and a noun, and other subtleties of the English language. Getting those without homes ...

Straight Men Fantasize About Banging Sports Stars from 2021-02-25T06:21

Jesus, More Brady? Super Bowl ads - why even watch the game. Do you stop listening or watching an artist because their personal behavior is repulsive? Cancel Culture - when will they just cancel...

Brady, Every Man or Super Hero? from 2021-02-05T21:01:35

The Semites aren't just famous for pornography but sports, in which they comment, never play. A discussion on GOATS and their mis-representation in sports analogies. Why should we root for Tom B...

An Erection is not an Insurrection, Is it? from 2021-02-04T20:58:42

Where does one find a burkini? Are Nigerians the greatest email scam writers in history? Do they deserve a trademark? Why a local insurrectionist refused to talk with the Semites. And is it ok t...

Are Superspreaders the Vulnerable Type? from 2021-01-23T04:38

Microphones are too damn sensitive. Psychics are an important part of the Trump Cult. What does it mean to be Vulnerable? And why would anybody choose to do that.  Is crying in the movies n...

Virtual Learning Sucks from 2021-01-07T05:10:51

Facebook deleting isn't the answer. Are gifts really necessary? Converting to Judaism and the havoc wreaked on a goy's penis. Nobody goes back to an online forum after their question is answered...

It's Time to Mask your Pets from 2020-12-02T07:03:01

Eating habits & masturbation might share a pubescent history. How Covid has become the new mic drop. Are self absorbed cultures experiencing higher rates of Covid? The satisfaction of making...

Rosie the Robot - Do Her, Marry Him, Kill It? from 2020-11-17T20:47:46

Are there Dutch Karens? Are adjectives upset by all this attention on Pronouns? Are charisma and money the only way to win an election? The semites get semite once again trying to figure out a s...

Borat Who Dat from 2020-11-12T06:55:58

A rare opportunity to hear a movie review done 2 Jews & A Mic style - Borat. Viewing Required before listening to this podcast. If residing in a place where Borat is banned or otherwise inac...

Air Mugabe & the rise of African Dictator Sneakers from 2020-11-03T04:36:37

Is it still ok to say Ghetto blaster? Why can't actors imitate voices of people with different backgrounds than themselves? What is your preferred shoe named after an African head of state? Quit...

Vipassana in the Vulva from 2020-10-23T21:54:23

Why would anybody want to shut the fck up for 10 days? An exploration into the bizarre world of silent retreats or as they are known to the devout: vipassanas. A discussion of marriage, and divo...

Mitch from 2020-10-16T22:20:25

Your first time - auto-erotica and it's defining moment of manhood. Thick for girls not shakes. Red heads. Ballot Harvesting. Civil War. Alternate facts & a Trump lover. How to know if you a...

Ramadan Made Easy from 2020-10-09T03:03:21

The Day of Atonement is here. And We have a solution for religious fasting everywhere. And the true story of closeted Yemeni innkeeper who wants you to know he isn't just playing video games. A ...

Covid as an Excuse for Everything from 2020-09-29T00:54:09

Foreign infiltrators intercept the Semite's show. NPR Liberals under attack. Doggy Daycare enrichment for the Elites only. Personal morals and the undercharged conundrum. The Covid excuse. And o...

You Can Have Your Ice Cream Cake from 2020-09-23T03:05

Why is Ice Cream Cake a culinary miracle? Are drugs better when bought in grams? Covid as an excuse for everything. Gaslighting - what the fuck is that? And the dissection of a popular not quite...

Naughty Nadia Want Learn English Yes Please from 2020-09-12T02:33:38

Zoom bombing a child's classroom with another man's member & Zooming an attractive Putin refugee who just wants to learn some bloody English. Ice Cream & Nut Milk. 'You Dated' - Does tha...

How Amateur are those Amateurs? from 2020-09-05T05:10:45

The hosts continue to slip down the pubescent boy rabbit hole as they spend way too much time dissecting the intricacies of amateur pornography including trying to decipher if one gentleman has ...

Gambian Goomahs are Never on Time from 2020-08-26T02:45:55

Gambian Tourism. A Yemeni tale. To be on time, or not. Lying & Contractors - synonymous but why. Aren't we ready for a new name for our Goomahs? 

And a boy infects his dog with C...

Black & White Ain't Just for Cookies from 2020-08-06T17:28:10

Mr. Tony joins the Semites to discuss important matters of the day including but not limited to faking your own college graduation, problems with the ecstasy pills of today, growing up as the on...

23 & Me: Too old for Epstein from 2020-07-30T17:12

One Jew blindsides the other with 20 questions & a 1 minute time limit, with discussions ranging from lineage testing to dog naming, cruises to cocks, Covid foods to Covid pornography, and o...

Finding a Vaccine for Crappy Art from 2020-07-17T17:00

An on-air improv class gets a beat down. Successful pedophiles are separated from unsuccessful ones. The vicious cycle of work as it relates to Buddhism's eternal suffering, and how the cabal ut...

The NOT so Distant Future from 2020-07-09T18:19:43

For some it's still tumultuous 2020 but for others in QAnon or our esteemed hosts, it's now approximately 2022 or 2023 or some date no so distant.

Hand amputees and the chronically unempl...

God is Everywhere and Satan Supplied the Masks from 2020-06-26T01:00:59

The Jews listen attentively as a passionate young advocate attempts to convince the authorities that masks are an engineered evil of the Deep State.  Shaming and the refusal to give Karen a...

Would you shtup a Karen? from 2020-06-18T21:19:28

An Amsterdam female joins the shtuppers. The Dutch see American unraveling. The American tells a story of ground level attitudes toward Blacks changing. The American then says maybe the Real Kar...

2 White Guys Talk Race & the secrets to Barry O's success from 2020-06-17T01:30:19

The Hebrews discuss America's failure to teach the real history of race in the education system, the Dutch pushing a little too hard for you to accept euthanasia, Nigerian princes, the Internet ...

All we need is a seksbuddy from 2020-06-15T03:02:29

Why do some people 'make it' and others don't. Mooching off the system.  Flatulence.  Supplements. Covid sex partners. More flatulence. Amsterdam and Chicago. And a little more flatule...

Guys & Dolls from 2020-06-15T03:00:03

Time travel. Pubes. Qatar. Barbie & friends. Enough stuff to keep the dinner party interesting.

Lady Pam Survived Louie Ckay's Happy Ending from 2020-06-12T06:07:07

Chicago based improviser, booking agent & manager of renowned comedians, Ms. Pam joins the show to re-iterate Covid killed comedy but virtual laughing is still allowed east of the Mississipp...

Jersey, Jizz & Jewfros from 2020-06-10T05:07:09

An inquiry into what makes somebody from Jersey somebody from Jersey. Deliberation over Malcolm Gladwell's hair. Intense discussions of the seed of the universe as it relates to the explusion of...

A Nightclub Owner Says the End is Near from 2020-06-09T04:57:47

The boys interview the owner of one of Florida's most acclaimed nightclubs, Mango's, and learn how Hulk Hogan might save us from Covid, and why the government doesn't give a sh#t about the resta...

An Israeli Biologist Dials the Wrong Number from 2020-06-05T04:31:31

The jews talk about their personal definition of being 'cheap' and a native son calls in from the Holy Land only to discover members of the diaspora are unworthy of his time

Alien Mind Invasion of a Retired Sportscaster from 2020-06-05T03:04:30

Listen to the somewhat mainstream and yet still unbelievable claims of a former 6pm network sports anchor

Dr.G Has a Story to Tell from 2020-06-04T03:58:33

Voted one of America's best Emergency Room Doctors, the infamous Dr. G dares to educate the talent-less Duo

The Italians are not The Orthodox from 2020-06-04T03:49:24

Our two esteemed hosts take us from the troughs of Italy to the Orthodox ghettos of West Rogers Park, Chicago

An epidemiologist walks into a bar & nobody gives a sh*t from 2020-06-04T03:35:49

A leading Toronto epidemiologist ignores colleagues' advice and attempts career suicide by joining the hardest hitting news team in Pandemic Podcast history

Cum Curtain & The Progenitor from 2020-06-04T03:12:49

A Pandemic brings together two friends; one in Chicago, one in Amsterdam and somebody's father in Fort Lauderdale. They conspire to create Covid-20, a video game allowing virtual escape from Cov...