Podcasts by 372 Pages We
Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they
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Ep 156 – Christmas 2023 Cozy announcement! from 2023-12-11T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon where they found out what this book is a week ago! patreon.com/372pages In real time, Mike and Conor select their next book – and we guarantee it will be cozy! Select...
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Ep 155 – The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists Ep 4 – Slenderman Gorilla from 2023-11-29T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon! We have a video tier now so you can see us mispronounce things in real time! http://patreon.com/372pages An absolutely epic end to an epic book. Let’s list them off:...
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Ep 154 – The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists Ep 3 – The Blinding Underground Sun from 2023-11-10T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you’ll get every episode a week early, extra stuff you can’t get anywhere else, contests, and more! http://patreon.com/372pages Incredible – truly incredible –...
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Ep 153 – The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists Ep 2–The Tri-Moepek Cup from 2023-10-30T04:00
Join the fun on Patreon, where you get every episode a week early, participate in our discord, and get lots of other stuff you can’t get anywhere else. patreon.com/372pages Like jumping into a wate...
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Ep 152 – The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists Ep 1 from 2023-10-12T04:00
Join us on Patreon, where every episode comes out a week early and you get to hear all the other bonus stuff we only put on there! And check out “The Naked Clone” a book that Mike&Conor co-authored...
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Ep 151–The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists- Intro from 2023-10-05T04:00
Join the fun on Patreon, where you get every episode a week early and other fun bonus stuff! https://patreon.com/372pages The book is currently unavailable on Amazon, so if you’ve already read your...
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Ep 150 – The Starlight Barking Ep 3 – Roly Poly Does Paris from 2023-09-07T12:09
Help us pick the next book! We’ll be running a poll on the 372 Patreon: http://patreon.com/372pages The Bark Squad wraps up Dodie Smith’s fever nightmare of a sequel in this final episode covering ...
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Ep 149–The Starlight Barking Ep 2–Sleeping Devils from 2023-08-22T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and get every new episode a week early PLUS access to our entire archive of five years of bonus material: https://patreon.com/372pages We learn a lot of new things in...
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Ep 148–The Starlight Barking Ep 1: Dalmatians Be Whooshing from 2023-08-04T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon where you can get every episode a week early as well as other fun stuff like Mike trying to solve the world’s most diabolical Encyclopedia Brown mysteries! http://pat...
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Ep 147–Book 25: The Starlight Barking from 2023-07-21T04:00
If you were on Patreon, you’d have known what the new book was a week ago! Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages Let’s figure out what the TWENTY-FIFTH book we’re going to read together will be, but...
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Ep 146–Artemis–Ep 5–Bleriana’d from 2023-06-30T04:00
Be the first to find out what’s next by supporting the podcast on Patreon. You’ll also hear a new subpodcast where Mike tries to solve Encyclopedia Brown mysteries: http://patreon.com/372pages We f...
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Episode 145–Artemis Ep 4–Dale and Bob and Loretta and Welding from 2023-06-16T04:00
Join the few, the proud, the jackals and support the podcast on Patreon! Every episode a week early and other fun stuff: http://patreon.com/372pages The penultimate Artemis episode! Mike’s final at...
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Episode 144–Artemis Ep 3–Rudy Explained, Kinda! from 2023-06-01T04:00
Join the fun on Patreon, where last week we watched Forrest Gump together, Mike for the very first time! http://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here In this episode: -Spontaneous jackals bearing ...
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Episode 143–Artemis Ep 2–Sean Meets the Morals Brigade from 2023-05-19T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon! Because of you, Mike watched Forrest Gump for the first time this week! There is nothing that could prepare you for the, ahem, choices Mr. Weir makes in these chapte...
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Episode 142–Artemis Ep 1–Mounties on the Moon from 2023-05-04T14:00
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on patreon! Get the book here What if Garrett P. Serviss dictated a story to Ernest Cline? We think it would go a little something… like this. Plus a Dar...
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Episode 141–Book 24: Artemis from 2023-04-18T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon, where they’ve known about this new book for a week already! patreon.com/372pages Alright, NOW it’s time for Book 24! This one did very well in our Patreon poll a few...
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Episode 139–Edison’s Conquest Ep 4–Suddenly! from 2023-03-24T04:00
Find out what our next book is going to be a week before everyone else! Join the 372 Patreon. WOW! Really no words to describe the insane events in the final chapters of Edison’s Conquest of Mars, ...
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Episode 138–Edison’s Conquest Ep 3–Zest and Interest! from 2023-03-06T05:00
Support the Podcast on Patreon and hear all about the *first* arson Mike committed! Plus get every episode a week early and lots of other non-arson content: http://patreon.com/372pages Martians, sp...
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Episode #137–Edison’s Conquest Ep 2–Australian Mine Owners! from 2023-02-17T05:00
Support the Podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early and hear fun stuff like our pitches for Groundhog Day themed Cozy Mysteries! Come for the Thrilling Story of an Encounter that Nearl...
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Episode #136–Edison’s Conquest Ep 1–Serviss is Selling from 2023-02-03T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and get every episode a week early and other fun stuff! Our first reading of Garrett P. Serviss’ Edison’s Conquest of Mars is a real cracker jack, a tip-top lally-coo...
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Episode #135–Book #23 announcement from 2023-01-18T05:00
Shake off your weighted blanket and put down that spoon you’re licking yogurt off the back of. It’s no longer cozy season, dammit! It’s time for Book 23 and we’ve got a listener recommendation that...
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Episode #134–Murder in Christmas River Ep. 3: Dehydrated Mummies from 2022-12-23T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon where you’ll get every episode a week early and hear our recaps of the two other cozy Christmas mysteries we read this December! Our final reading Murder in Christmas...
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Episode #133–Murder in Christmas River Ep. 2–Old Man Things to Talk About from 2022-12-09T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and hear all about the batshit crazy cozy mystery we read last week: patreon.com/372pages Get the current book here: https://amzn.to/3Ura5W6 After 16 chapters we fina...
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Episode 132 Murder in Christmas River–Ep 1–Drunk Daniel from 2022-11-23T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and get some EXTRA cozy this Christmas season! patreon.com/372pages Get the book HERE (it’s free on Kindle Unlimited) Well, Conor and Mike are back in Cozyville where...
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Episode 131–Christmas River Murder Ep 1–Announcement from 2022-11-08T05:00
Our patreon supporters have been reading this book for a week already! Join in the fun at patreon.com/372pages Get the book here (Free on Kindle Unlimited) Super Constitution behind them, Mike and ...
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Episode 130–Super Constitution Ep 5–Welcome Back, Troika! from 2022-10-21T04:00
Find out our next book before everyone else when you support the podcast on Patreon! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here To quote the perpetually stoned kid who sawed his finger off in my high s...
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Episode 129–Super Constitution Ep 4–Miss Sequoia, AOOOOgaaaa! from 2022-10-07T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon! Once we hit 1000 supporters, Mike will watch Forrest Gump for the first time as a live watchalong! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Well, we’re one ep away fro...
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Episode #128–Super Constitution Ep 3–Miss O’Hara’s Smiling Body from 2022-09-23T04:00
See how our trip to the Mall of American Bubba Gump Shrimp Company went, only on the 372 Patreon! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here We’re deep into Super Constitution now and this is our chanc...
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Episode #127–Super Constitution Ep 2–LONG MONOLOGUES!! from 2022-09-01T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early and other exclusive fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Well, after a rough start we’re back on track. Super Constitution was a...
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Episode #126–Super Constitution Ep 1–Octopus Tentacles from 2022-08-08T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode early, hear our recent live show from Minneapolis, and more great stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Webster’s defines “insane” as THI...
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Episode #125–Book 21: Super Constitution from 2022-07-15T04:00
(This book may be a little hard to find because our Patreon supporters learned what it was a week ago and bought up all the copies. Join them so you don’t miss out in the future! patreon.com/372pag...
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Episode #124 – Gump&Co Ep 5 from 2022-06-17T14:30
Come see us do our first LIVE PODCAST in three years, Friday 7/22 at Bryant Lake Bowl in Minneapolis! Details on our facebook and twitter pages. Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on patre...
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Episode 123–Gump&Co Ep 4 from 2022-06-01T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon, where you can watch Conor drink gross New Coke variants, hear Mike’s story teased in this ep, and so much more! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here We’re past the...
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Episode #122–Gump&Co. Ep 3 from 2022-05-17T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon, the only place to hear our Minneapolis live show and see our trip to the Mall of America Bubba Gump Shrimp Company! Get the book here Oh, come back lengthy, unending...
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Episode #121–Gump&Co. Ep 2 from 2022-05-03T04:00
Our first full episode of diving into the Winston Groom book Gump&Co. So much is uncovered here, including Mike’s grandmother’s encounter with Houdini, Conor’s visit with broadcasting legend Larry ...
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Episode #120–Book 20–Gump&Co from 2022-04-08T04:00
Our beloved Patreon supporters have already been reading this book for a week! Join the fun at http://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here It’s time to announce our twentieth book, and there’s on...
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Episode #119–Antigua Ep 7–Eagle Man! from 2022-03-23T04:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and be the first to find out what the next book is! patreon.com/372pages Weeks ago, when we wandered out of the trees and mountains of the plains of Antigua and hoppe...
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Episode #118 – Antigua Ep 6 – Teens! from 2022-03-09T05:00
Support the 372 Patreon! Bonus Real or Fanfics, classical minis, other weirder stuff! patreon.com/372pages “Displace one note and there would be diminishment, displace one phrase and the structure ...
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Episode #117–Antigua Ep 5–Animal Collective from 2022-02-11T05:00
Support the Podcast on Patreon to get fun stuff like a Meet The Authors with Bill Corbett, Conor’s breakdown of an iconic hip-hop sample, and every episode early! patreon.com/372pages Just a few of...
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Episode #116–Antigua Ep 4–Holograms from 2022-01-28T05:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and see what you’re missing! It’s the only place to hear Mike’s amazing bonus real or fanfic! http://patreon.com/372pages You know how when a friend says, “You have t...
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Episode 115–Antigua Ep 3–Timothy! from 2022-01-18T15:00
Support us on Patreon! It’s the only place to hear the legendary Bonus Real or Fanfic we did in between episodes! patreon.com/372pages A jam-packed episode for which we will not apologize: there ar...
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Episode 114 – Antigua Ep 2–Beautiful Horses from 2022-01-04T12:00
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Please join them so we can have enough supporters to outnumber the centaurs in this book. patreon.com/372pages This book is amazing! It’s an ...
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Episode 113–Book 19–Antigua Ep. 1 from 2021-12-10T00:00
Conor challenges Mike with a quiz (he does poorly) and then the new book is announced! EDIT: Well this should be interesting. The kindle (CANON) version does not have chapter breaks. We will read ...
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Episode 112–Irene Iddsleigh Ep 3–HAWKES! (The Gardener) from 2021-11-26T00:00
Our Patreon listeners are our favorite listeners! Join them at patreon.com/372pages and be the first to learn what book we’re doing next Wow, there’s no way around it, we unabashedly loved the plac...
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Episode 111–Irene Iddesleigh #2 from 2021-11-12T12:00
Support the podcast on Patreon, and hear all about Mike’s Time Advocate theory! patreon.com/372pages Just when you thought Irene Iddesleigh was just going to be kind of old-timey funny, the type of...
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Episode 110–Irene Iddesleigh #1 from 2021-10-29T00:00
Join the 372 Pages Patreon and get early access to every new episode! Patreon.com/372pages This book was a surprise, packed with hidden delights. So too this episode including -A brand new departme...
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Episode 109–Book 18: Irene Iddlesleigh from 2021-10-15T15:43:53
Our patreon supporters have known about this book for a week already and are already sending in their dumb sentences! Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages Join us for our 18th book: Irene Iddleslei...
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Episode 108–Modelland Extra–Acknowledgments, aka Library Fudge from 2021-10-08T00:00
**Please note that the giveaway mentioned in this ep has obviously already ended** Be the first to find out what our next book is! Support the podcast on Patreon and get early access to every ep an...
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Episode 107–Modelland Ep 7–O’Neil Rises from 2021-09-24T00:00
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on our Patreon! http://patreon.com/372pages O’Neil of course does not rise. But this is Modelland’s final episode. Per our stunt Mike did not read it so ...
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Episode 106–Modelland Ep 6–Human Leg Giraffe from 2021-09-03T08:00
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Join them over at patreon.com/372pages Mike catches Conor up on the the plot, which involves a lot of filth, sores, blood, detached limbs, wo...
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Episode 105–Modelland Ep 5–SHOCKING NEWS! from 2021-08-20T08:30
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early plus other fun stuff: patreon.com/372pages Our longest episode yet – making it, clearly, our best. We’ll check in on ...
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Episode 104–Modelland Ep 4–O’Neil from 2021-08-03T08:30
Thank you to our Patreon supporters who keep the podcast going and have had access to this episode for a week already! Join them at patreon.com/372pages The underutilization of O’Neil is downright ...
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Episode 103–Modelland Ep 3–AUGH SORRY SO SO SORRY SORRY from 2021-07-19T07:30
Support the podcast with a few bucks on Patreon. Get every episode early, Meet The Authors segments, interviews with Lauren and Bridget, contests, and more! patreon.com/372pages A testament to how ...
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Episode 102–Modelland Ep 2–Goggle Eyes&Long Fingers from 2021-06-24T12:00
Please support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early, access to our Discord, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Conor and Mike wade into the fever dream like madness that is Tyra B...
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Episode 101–Modelland Ep 1–Einfach was für ein Loonerherz from 2021-06-09T08:45
Join the 372 Patreon to get every episode early and other fun exclusive stuff! http://patreon.com/372pages Mike and Conor quickly discover that Tyra Banks’ only novel is Cr8Zee! (Cr8Zee is pronounc...
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Episode 100–We Announce our 17th Book! from 2021-05-24T13:57:32
A famous person wrote a book so it would be rude of us not to read and discuss this person’s work. Also: 100 episodes!!! First assignment: Read through chapter 6
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Episode 99–Quilters Ep 3–Goodbye, Cozyverse! from 2021-05-06T11:21
By the first to find out what we’re reading next by joining the 372 Patreon! Lots of other great exclusive posts and events as well! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here! It’s with wet eyes that ...
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Episode 98 – Quilters Ep 2 – Big Baby Braxton from 2021-04-20T09:00
Join the fun in the 372 Patreon! Last week we all relived Conor’s humiliating Jeopardy loss together. Plus every episode early, contests, and other bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book he...
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Episode 97–Quilters Ep 1–A Small, Intimate Podcast from 2021-04-05T08:30
Join us on Patreon to get every episode early and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here! Ah, the Clinian Cloud has lifted and the 372 Pages studio is cozy and smells of pork, saue...
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Episode 96–Book 16: The Quilters Push Back from 2021-03-23T08:50
Get the book here! The task: announce book number sixteen. Forty-seven minutes later the job is done! Why? Because Conor and Mike are incredibly enthusiastic about the new title. I mean, one of our...
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Ep 95–Ready Player 2–Suddenly, and Without Warning, We Finished the Book from 2021-02-26T08:30
Learn the next book before anyone else! Join the fun on the 372 Patreon. Bonus eps, Meet the Authors, Discord, and more! patreon.com/372pages An epic podcast! Mike and Conor discuss the deep philos...
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Episode 94–Ready Player 2–Apparently, We Were Surprised to Find Ourselves Still Reading This from 2021-02-09T09:00
Join the fun on Patreon for bonus Real or Fanfic, improv with special guests, and surprisingly, earnest analysis of classical music! patreon.com/372pages If you had taken a second mortgage on your ...
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Ep 93–Ready Player 2–Rolling our Locked Wide Eyes from 2021-01-25T08:13
Ernest Cline’s runaway best seller continues to disgust and annoy us, even as it approaches the home stretch. In this episode we wrap up the seemingly endless John Hughes quest by meeting an actual...
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Episode 92–Ready Player 2–Is It GameFAQs? Or a John Hughes Geocities Fan Page? It’s Both!! from 2021-01-12T10:00
Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to early episodes, bonus materials, contests and more! Patreon.com/372pages Conor states with confidence that this episode contains a chapter that is t...
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Episode 91: Ready Player 2–A Constant Loop of Push It from 2020-12-21T08:15
After countless pages of Worldbuilding and freeing child slaves when our hero felt like it, Ernest Cline finally lets some things happen in this section. The action kicks off when a Gunter and a Sh...
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Episode 90–Ready Player 2: Bouncin’and Blazin’ from 2020-12-08T08:22
Don’t miss out on participating in the read along! Join the 372 Patreon and get early access to episodes, as well as a BONUS Real or Fanfic we did this week! patreon.com/372pagesSo much to cover: C...
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Episode 89–Ready Player Two–Sharters and Gunters from 2020-11-26T17:35:10
Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to every episode early, plus a ton of exclusive bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages Ready Player Two? Let me ask that again; Ready Player Two?! I don’t t...
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Episode 88–James“The Tracker”Trackerathorn III from 2020-11-17T19:12:06
Yes, this may be the final episode of Midnight Sun but Alice has looked into the future and Mike and Conor are still reading it in every possibility but this one. We won’t spoil anything about the ...
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Episode 87–MAJOR UPDATE ON PHIL!! from 2020-11-03T12:42:46
Phil hears from an assistant coach of the Sidewinders that there may be a backup shortstop position opening up! So Renee and he may drive back to Phoenix!!!!!!!! Also, the tireless and cunning Jame...
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Episode 86–Charlie says,“Huh…” from 2020-10-20T13:50:58
How em dash HOW em dash is this book not about Charlie hauling in a world record white perch, or at the very least the story of him getting a treble hook buried into his thigh? Why not page after p...
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Episode 85–Throbbing Wetly from 2020-10-06T13:48:02
Twilight but as told from the vampire’s point of view, continues to be a collection of words strung together in mostly coherent fashion, with occasional digressions to count thousands of insects. T...
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Episode 84–RIP Orlando Calderas Wallace from 2020-09-24T13:30:09
If you like Cline-ian pop culture lists you are in for a treat! In this episode Mike and Conor break down Bella’s likes / dislikes, turn-ons / turn-offs, preferences for types of flowers / er, pref...
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Episode 83–Lanny from 2020-09-04T14:31:24
Yes, we talk about things other than Lanny. But we don’t want to! You’ll all be thrilled to learn that Mike drained the budget to reunite the 372 Players, that Mike scores, um, pretty, pretty well ...
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Episode 82–The Comedy Stylings of Emmett from 2020-08-21T17:59:52
So many words, so many of them “monster”! A jam-packed episode: Conor sails through several Sonic Challenges Mike, ahem, sails through Real or Fanfic Our listeners mail in and we steal it Believe i...
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Episode 81–Book 14 from 2020-08-07T08:09
Let’s read another terrible book! But first, a story (By listener request!) about the time Mike inherited a house. It does not go well. This should be a fun one, let’s start by reading through Chap...
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Episode 80–ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!11” We shooted from 2020-07-24T08:17:29
Mike and Conor try to make sense of this madness. They come up empty. Still, there are highlights: Conor does a sonic challenge sexily. Mike manages not to follow a single plot point. The Dumb Sent...
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Episode 79–Conor Unveils His Superpower from 2020-07-11T16:44:55
Conor is able to somehow follow the plot of My Immortal! A power that comes in handy when having to explain it to Mike who views it as somewhat more abstruse than the Voynich manuscript. A packed i...
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Episode 78–My Immortal from 2020-06-30T14:02:29
The artists/works to which we compare this 2006 fanfic include: Shakespeare, several times Dickens Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Bible Thelonius Monk And more! Conor unveils his Cockneyaccent, and ...
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Book 13 Announcement from 2020-06-22T13:51:55
We’re doing a new book, and if you listen to this, you can learn what it is! Just don’t email about the giveaway, the winners have already been announced on Patreon. Here is the free ebook and here...
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Episode 77–Man. Silhouette. LEGEND. from 2020-06-03T13:41:35
The Irishman is envious of the length of this podcast. But there was so much to talk about! While Susan sits dazed, stupefied, sooty, unsure of where she is, what she’s doing, how math works, and w...
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Ep 76–The Sad End of Rafael de la Maza from 2020-05-26T12:32:06
The Brownisms are coming fast and furious now, like chapters in a Dan Brown book! Conor does Real or Fanfic, we Steal People’s Mail, there are Dumb Sentences galore and Mike discovers the original ...
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Episode 75–Cuz My Beeper Kept Beepin’ from 2020-05-13T17:57:14
Looking for good writing in a Dan Brown book is a lot like looking for a sock in a bedroom the size of Texas while sewage spews forth out of a crystal decanter. And this section of DIGITAL FORTRESS...
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Episode 74–Chapters! We Got Yer Chapters! from 2020-05-05T16:02:33
Victor Hugo just texted Dan Brown, “Dude, back it down on the chapters, man! It’s not a contest.” Tolstoy throws in a, “Yeah, cut it out, man.” Yes, the sparse words continue to spill out on the in...
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Episode 73–Enter Halite from 2020-04-21T15:20:45
This episode begins with the introduction of possibly the greatest character in the history of the podcast (apologies to Bleriana, Jack Star, and the Robot Pimp) Greg Hale. He enters like a bull, i...
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Ep 72–Bobby Digital in Stereo from 2020-04-13T13:23:18
Man, so much to talk about and so so much is talked about!!* Highlights: A withered naked old woman struggles with a bedpan. The smell of urine is in the air. Are the two things connected? You’ll h...
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Ep 71–If“Bizarre Foods”Went Horny from 2020-04-06T14:50:46
A straightforward Dan Brown thriller, if by straightforward you mean vastly underpaid Georgetown professors sticking their heads into drinking fountains and forcing their strange dietary habits on ...
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Episode 70–Potato Pudding and Space Catalogs from 2020-03-10T14:20:52
Alas, today we finish Moon People by Dale M. Courtney. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve eaten cheddar bay biscuits at Red Lobster and then gotten busy as hell afterwards. But there’s only one way ...
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Episode 69–I Seen All Good People from 2020-03-03T18:22:50
In the middle third of Moon People our hero David Braymer… does NOT go to the moon, or meet people from the moon. But fittingly for this number episode, he does get busy as hell! Following what mus...
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Episode 68–Still Tippin’on 222s from 2020-02-18T13:31:24
Hey, there he is! The shadow has lifted from the moon, and from our souls, and MOON PEOPLE is the glorious result! There’s so much to discuss here, so pledge to yourselves and to God that you won’t...
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Book 11 Announcement from 2020-02-10T14:09:40
Here it is, the 11th bad book we’re going to read together. It’s going to be way more enjoyable than Shadow Moon. This short announcement was part of a longer Patreon exclusive mailbag, our support...
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Episode 67–The Worst Book We’ve Ever Read from 2020-01-30T09:08:18
452 pages, 2 blood whips, and one StagLord later, we have finished SHADOW MOON by George Lucas and Chris Claremont. Much like Thorn/Willow, we are now very tired. Unlike our protagonist, we’ve been...
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Episode 66–We Come to Bury Burys from 2020-01-14T16:08:42
A shocking Very Special Episode! A first in the history of the podcast, possibly a first for any podcast! The smelly, repugnant, filth-caked, farm-animal-of-a-girl Elora is discussed at length whic...
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Episode 65–Pig Girl Wrecks the Can from 2020-01-07T15:25:32
Happy new year everyone! A new decade has dawned and we are still reading Shadow Moon. In this segment, to the author’s credit, some stuff actually happens! Unfortunately what happens is that a nud...
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Episode 64–Willow Loves Willow from 2019-12-26T15:22:48
Mike and Conor have a pretty straightforward discussion about how Thorn née Willow formerly “the floor” kinda sorta transforms into The Demon / A Dragon / Some Stones / a Liquid Mass of His Own Mel...
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Episode 63–Shadow Moon: Episoude the Fourth from 2019-12-16T16:40
A jam-packed episode made all the more thrilling because Mike’s computer crashed twice while making it. Was it ensorcelled by a HardDriveHeron with CrashCharms? We may never know. What else? Prett...
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Episode 62–Llamacorn sez,“Well coat my meat in peanut sauce, it’s a new ep!” from 2019-12-10T14:50:09
Gather round victuallers and chandlers, alike! Lacquer your fur down and join us as we dig further into the Thillow-verse. Can Mike get a soild D or D- in Real or Fanfic? How’s Thorn’s stand-up ro...
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Episode 61–Don’t Put Ketchup on your Death Dog from 2019-12-02T13:43:56
Ah, Shadow Moon… That’s a name we haven’t heard in a long time… Well, a week at least! Join us as we continue our deep dive into the Lucas/Claremont saga “Shadow Moon”. This section begins with a ...
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Episode 60–This Podcast is now named Thorn Drumheller from 2019-11-22T14:55:14
Step into the WillowVerse for our first discussion of George Lucas&Chris Claremont’s “SHADOW MOON”! Things get sexy right off the bat, and never let up (if you consider descriptions of hair that is...
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Episode 59–Book 10 from 2019-11-13T15:49
Cline Cline Theis Shatlart Thrash Pappy James Harris Stoker… Who’s next? Listen and find out! (Hey! Patreon supporters have known about this book for a week already and have been snatching up the c...
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Episode 58–China Worm Sunflower from 2019-10-23T13:38:23
Three hypnotizing attempts, two destroyed castles, and countless walnuts later, Lair of The White Worm comes to an end. Break out the medium-grade china and cream-jug, because this is one episode y...
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Episode 57–Well Hung Doors from 2019-10-15T17:31:27
It’s our third episode discussing Bram Stoker’s “Lair of the White Worm”. If you like coherent horror stories, we apologize. But as a consolation, may we offer you dozens of sentences with upwards ...
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Episode 56–For the Benefit of Evil Bird Kite from 2019-10-08T14:28:46
To say that LOTWW took an unexpected turn in this section would be a slap in the face to unexpected turns. While it appeared to be inching (worm pun) its way toward an exploration of the enormous h...
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Episode 55–A Very Special Mongoose from 2019-10-01T13:23:36
Bram, (or is it pronounced Bram) Stoker’s Dracula followup The Lair of the White Worm, is not very good. But there’s a lot to discuss! Adam Salton has willingly traveled halfway across the world to...
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Episode 54–Book 9 from 2019-09-16T13:33:07
We’re on our ninth book! We now have enough bad books to field a baseball team or form our own personal Wu-Tang Clan of crappy literature. No reason to delay any further, hit play to find out what ...
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Episode 53–Seven Days of Mystery, Drama, Excitement, Compassion, Horror, and Romance from 2019-09-03T12:23:37
We finally finish Charles E. Harris aka The Horny Grandpa’s saga Trucking Through Time. Tension is high as we finally will get an answer to our big question: will the author handle things sloppily ...
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Episode 52–Hold Onto Your Buckskins from 2019-08-16T08:03:01
We’ve got a jam-packed penultimate Trucking Through Time episode! Curvy wives! Horny grandpas! Easily accessible caches of cowboy hats! A surprising amount of discussion about James A. Garfield ass...
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Episode 51–Grandpa, No! from 2019-08-12T15:56:23
In between the General reading reports, Trucking Through Time manages to fit in some genuinely insane moments. Our heroes literally get to meet God, and it’s the second craziest thing that happens....
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Episode 50–Arthur“Three Socks”Jackson from 2019-07-31T23:41:24
It’s our 50th episode! And to celebrate, Trucking Through Time gets a little…. sexy! If you thought groins were stirring and tightening in the mister, just wait til you see the effect Light Feather...
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Episode 49–A Bad Day for the Home Team from 2019-07-23T13:37:31
Having trucked through time, our heroes Chad Hand and Dale Rhea (seriously) must now deal with the perils of life in the late 17th or early 18th century. This mainly involves taping things to stick...
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Episode 48–Trucking Through Time from 2019-07-15T12:27:45
Load your cooler up with knickknacks, good buddy, we’re in for a long haul! This is our first episode covering Charles E. Harris’ “Trucking Through Time” and if the first two chapters are any indic...
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Episode 47–So do Albanian cars have seatbelts or what? from 2019-07-01T13:17:51
As we wrap up our deep dive into EL James’ “The Mister”, we have a lot of questions. Well, one question really: What the hell? But also: Why was absolutely nothing resolved? Why do Maxim and Alessi...
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Episode 46–Bleriana’s Bucket from 2019-06-20T13:29:18
This is now an all Bleriana, all the time podcast. Our favorite unseen character, who may or may not still be a sex slave when this book ends in fifty pages, makes another appearance, as Alessia fi...
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Episode 45–Wherefore Art Thou, Bleriana? from 2019-06-13T14:20:55
Our second favorite trafficking victim does NOT show up in this section of The Mister, but other than that, it’s jam packed. Anesthesia, post-trauma boning, and approximately 3/4 of a page of hones...
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Episode 44–Male Tasting Fingers from 2019-06-04T15:00:51
This episode is nearly two hours long, despite the fact that if you cut out all the sex from these five chapters, all our characters did was buy shoes and play chess. Oh, and they saw a deer. Our p...
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Episode 43–Music for your what now? from 2019-05-28T14:16:50
WARNING: This section of The Mister may contain the dumbest sentence we’ve ever covered on this show. Join us in pastoral Cornwall, where Maxim and the entrancing Alessia, who’s beauty, we’re often...
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Episode 42–Not A Groin Was Stirring from 2019-05-21T12:47:01
In part two of our deep dive into The Mister, author EL James gives her audience exactly what they came for: Sex! Nobody actually having it, of course, but people are being trafficked for it in a c...
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Episode 41–Handsome Buttocks from 2019-05-14T12:29:37
Who’s ready to get British and horny?? This is our first episode devoted to The Mister by EL James, and it’s obviously unlike anything we’ve read on here before. We’ll examine the author’s clever ...
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Episode 40–Book Number Seven from 2019-05-06T13:21:27
Time to start our seventh book together! This one promises to be quite the journey. Don’t want to ruin this surprise, so get listening! Oh and by the way, our Patreon supporters have been reading t...
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Episode 39–Broken Camera Blues from 2019-04-25T13:37:48
We are back after a week in Nashville! While we were there, we figured that we would take advantage of the opportunity to record face to face. So we recorded a dynamic, hilarious, touching video ra...
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Episode 38–160 Pages We’ll Never Get Back from 2019-04-11T12:59:15
Thank god this book was not 372 pages long. Neither of us could have handled that. Bob Honey was fortunately only 160, and even so, managed to have three different characters crap their pants, two...
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Episode 37–I Laugh a lot When I Write from 2019-04-04T14:09:55
Our favorite unreliable narrator who is also a toilet salesman/mallet assassin is back to bring his book into the homestretch! We’ve got brand new onomatopoeias, lipstick smeared on teeth, and of c...
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Episode 36–We’re Baffled By The Cherry Water from 2019-03-27T13:04:31
The enigma that is Bob Honey continues to baffle and frustrate us. From offering guests a drink that no human has ever consumed (and they accept??), to possessing a secret preternatural scuba divin...
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Episode 35–Uh…OK? from 2019-03-19T13:20:27
Sean Penn certainly has written a collective of words arranged into sentences! There’s a lot to discuss in our first episode diving into Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. There’s the mysterious backstor...
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Episode 34–A 160 Page Self-Own from 2019-03-11T13:21:50
Well, here is the new book we all get to read together! We apologize for nothing!! And hey, a bunch of listeners requested this one, so if you want someone to blame we will name names! But in all s...
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Episode 33–Checkmate from 2019-02-27T13:25:49
All good things must come to an end. On a completely unrelated note, this book also must come to an end. And what an ending it is! After pages and pages of repeated text and detailed descriptions o...
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Episode 32–Ctrl-V, Repeat from 2019-02-19T22:41:42
Who is the Sheriff of 372 Pages? Sorry, just trying out our new catchphrase. Nobody better be laughing!! We have an absolutely jam packed episode this week, because despite maybe 40% of this week’s...
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Episode 31–I, Titus Uno from 2019-02-12T16:28:15
Assemble your various financial certification acronyms and have Veronica Jackson clear your schedule, because we’ve got a doozy of an episode! So much to unpack here in our first discussion of The ...
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Episode 30–Manifesto in Book Form from 2019-02-04T04:34:58
Well, we’ve found a new book to read together, and it certainly appears to be something special. More in the vein of “Eye of Argon”, this is one that was never going to hit the best seller list. Bu...
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Episode 29–What The Hell Was That? from 2019-01-16T18:38:25
Well, the pace sure as hell was unrelenting, folks. We’ve reached the end of TekWar, and there both is and isn’t a lot to talk about. Chest-high walls, disdainful robot pimps, the brief and wondrou...
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Episode 28–Al’s House of Lucite from 2019-01-08T16:05:09
If you’d told us way back in Episode 25 – Meetings About Sonny Hokori, if we’d still be having meetings about Sonny Hokori 150 pages later, we would have thrown the book across the room. And yet, h...
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Episode 27–A Heavy Airquotes Simple Plan from 2018-12-21T13:41:09
Chapter 22 of Tekwar may be the second stupidest chapter we’ve read on this podcast. The first, of course, being the one in Armada where The Emissary just, you know, cures cancer and every other di...
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Episode 26–Located in the Exact Center of your Podcast App from 2018-12-11T21:32:22
Roll your cartoon wolf tongues back into your mouths, we’ve got a new episode! This week we finally get to meet the lusted after Beth Kittridge… Well, kind of… Mike also coins a new, revolting port...
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Episode 25–Meetings About Sonny Hokori from 2018-12-04T14:37:29
Look, we all love Sonny Hokori and Bennet Sands and Dr. Kittridge’s insanely hot daughter. We love to hear Jake discuss those people in quirky alleys with people we’ve never met and probably will n...
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Episode 24–¡El Pelo Hinchable! from 2018-11-20T13:21:20
To the inattentive and brainless layman* it might appear that not much happened during this stretch of TekWar. Mostly Jake aka Jonatha and Juanito aka The Android(???) just sat and talked to people...
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Episode 23–Plasepisode Plastwenty Plasthree from 2018-11-12T14:34:55
Steeple your chrome fingers against your chrome nose and tell maw to cork it, here’s our first Tekwar episode! We’ve got a ton to cover here: the difference between Airvans and Skycabs. Coppery rac...
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Episode 22–Book Four Reveal! from 2018-11-02T13:23:48
Let’s not delay this any longer: We’ve got a new book picked out to read together, and by all accounts it’s gonna be a doozy. So let’s say goodbye to Norgolia and move on to… Well, you’ll have to l...
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Episode 21–Mo’Shamen, Maw Problems from 2018-10-26T12:17:17
It feels like we just started Grignr’s journey, but it’s already time to finish The Eye of Argon. Fortunately, the second half is just as amazing as the first half, with out of left field seizures,...
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Episode 20–Hope You Like Adjectives! from 2018-10-19T13:31:10
Wow! The Eye of Argon more than surpassed our expectations. Our ovals widened rotundly with every additional sentence Theis crafted. My god, the first four (4.5, really) chapters were only like six...
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Episode 19–The Eye of Argon from 2018-10-12T12:16:01
We teased it in our last episode, but we’re finally ready to reveal to you: our next book is called The Eye of Argon. We figured, what could possibly carry the torch of Ernest Cline’s terrible book...
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Episode 18–A Crummy Commercial from 2018-10-09T13:41:08
We are back! Don’t worry, there is no new Ernest Cline book. But we’ve decided to launch back up to try to tackle some books which may be just as bad or even worse! DO NOT GET TOO EXCITED! There’s ...
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Episode 17–We’ll Do It Live…Or Will We? from 2018-04-20T17:32:11
Recorded live at Sisyphus Brewing in Minneapolis on April 11th, this is our first ever live show… Is how this post used to start before the recording of our live show was lost in an epic tech meltd...
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Episode 16–And Then All That Happened, The End from 2018-03-23T19:25:10
When we last left Zack Lightman, he was submerged beneath the Antarctic Ocean, trying to retrieve his father and save the world. But then it was getting close to happy hour, so Ernest Cline decided...
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Episode 15–Some Light, Pre-Apocalypse Boning from 2018-03-16T18:25:17
As humanity’s potential end draws near, our heroes still have not been allowed to say goodbye to their loved ones back on Earth. So they all do what any normal person would do in that situation: ba...
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Episode 14–A General Uses the Term“Snackage” from 2018-03-09T21:03:34
The Europan death armada is just hours away, and mankind’s last defense force is behaving about how you’d expect: grinning, crushing hard, and making references to classic 80s horror anthologies. ...
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Episode 13–Or as it Came to be Known, Episode 13 from 2018-03-02T13:46:54
The calendars may say that it’s March, but to us it’s Clinetober! Here at 372 Pages we’re power-leaping into the month like a terrible Godzilla simile from the classic Toho kaiju flick Godzilla. Th...
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Episode 12–The Hot Geek Girl Laughed at my Episode Title from 2018-02-23T13:18:59
Mike and Conor cover an absolutely thrilling stretch of Armada in this episode. Hold your breath because we’re about to discuss all of this: not one but TWO phone contact exchanging scenes, not one...
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Episode 11–Insanely hot (but relateable) moms from 2018-02-09T21:08:24
In this episode we meet Zack’s insanely hot TV addicted gamer mom. Turns out the Hot but Relateable Mom trope isn’t just a Clineian invention, and Conor reveals where he’s seen it turn up recently....
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Episode 10–What Have We Done? from 2018-02-02T18:23:50
In this first fifty pages of Armada, our hero sees a flying saucer, reads a giant list of movie release dates, and then goes to work. Somehow we talked about this sequence of events for 1 hour and ...
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Episode 9–Season 2: Armada from 2018-01-26T19:43:38
We’re back with a new season! Join us as we read Ernest Cline’s followup to RP1, Armada. We’re extremely excited to read what is widely regarded as Cline’s bad novel. We’ll talk about our expectat...
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Episode 8–1980s Reference from 2017-10-27T19:24:49
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here We’re done!!! After one last robot fight, video game s...
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Episode 7–1973 Was My Favorite Year in the 80s from 2017-10-20T18:14:52
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here In this episode, Wade Watts faces the possibility of a...
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Episode 6–Rush for a Change of Atmosphere from 2017-10-12T23:02:24
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Join us in our detailed recreation of the living room ...
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Episode 5–Several Discreet Openings from 2017-10-05T16:26:17
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here This week we’re talking Wade’s Rig. And folks — it is ...
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Episode 4–Delightful 80’s References and Several Hundred Dead Children! from 2017-09-28T18:44:56
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here We’ll discuss whether eating rotted Greenland shark me...
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Episode 3–Ducks and Hairy Knuckled Chucks from 2017-09-13T17:57:45
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here It’s another classic episode of 372 Pages We’ll Never ...
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Episode 2–A List and a Lich from 2017-09-08T17:01:05
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Update your Gunter Wiki, crapburgers, it’s time for a ...
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Episode 1–A Miniseries About a Housecoat from 2017-09-01T17:06:31
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here In this episode, we’ll learn how calibrated your taste...
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Episode 0–A Book We’re Probably Going to Hate from 2017-08-25T17:43:23
Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Welcome to 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back! This is a p...
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