A New Grip Podcast Episode 1: Slip-ups - a podcast by Mike and Melissa

In our first podcast episode we discuss a recent slip-up and the process of working through it towards reconciliation.







Show MusicMission Ready by Ketsa



Produced by Mike AndersonDealing With Slip-ups
Last week I had to confess to Melissa I had slipped up.  Although I wasn’t looking at porn, I was in places I shouldn’t have been, places I have been careful to avoid. But during a lapse in judgment and a vulnerable moment, I allowed myself to compromise. A slip up or relapse years ago would have sent us spiraling downwards for many weeks or months, but things have changed tremendously over the past few years. The initial shock of confession causes pain and lots of questions, but today’s podcast shares how to limit the magnitude and tremors from that confession. The after effects can shake your ground and cause you to feel unsteady all over again, but with some intentionality and a whole lot of prayer, we have experienced how to put some boundaries on how much control it has over our lives and marriage. But it requires grace and work for both partners.START WITH PRAYER
Slip ups and confession are rough. It opens the door to a closet full of emotions which can come spilling out at once. Even some emotions you thought you had dealt with can come squeezing out of a corner of the closet you thought you had already cleaned out. So, as you can see, the potential for damage is high. Emotions, especially those initial emotions, are deceiving and can steer the ship if you let them. We had many years of shaming, yelling, and escaping because we tried to steer that ship ourselves.We now have experienced a lot more victory by giving God the command of the ship. By far, the single most important thing when dealing with a slip up or relapse is prayer. We cannot emphasize that enough. Pray before you confess to your spouse, pray with your spouse as you have that initial conversation, and continue in an attitude of prayer as you process, respond, and make decisions. In this way we are intentionally inviting God into the process. We can almost guarantee that reacting with emotion and trying to deal with this on your own ability will get you off course. Melissa asked God to be “the authority over her emotions,” which helped maintain an environment where we could process and make a plan for moving forward and end the day feeling like we were still “on the same team.”MINIMIZE THE DAMAGE
A confession can make the spouse feel as if someone pulled the rug out from under them. It can catch them off guard and cause fear to come rushing back in like a tidal wave. There is certain to be questions and things to work through. But it is important for you both to remember who your enemy is. It is not your spouse. Satan wants to take this one difficult situation and magnify it so that it causes the maximum amount of damage possible. He wants you to forget anything good that God has been doing in your lives and fixate on this as much and long as possible. He will do whatever he can to cause a wedge between you and drive it in as deep as you allow him to. As you are processing through everything, listen for those thoughts that are obviously not from God. We have chosen to outlaw the words, “always” “never.” We have recognized the enemy loves to whisper lies like, “You will never be very far away from all of this.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 advises us to, “capture every thought and make it obey Christ.” Grab hold of those lies and ask Jesus to replace them with His truth and peace. Be careful to avoid any of the strategies Satan uses to take more ground in your marriage. The slip up was a loss, but he will push to make this the greatest loss he can. Push back by avoiding these things: 

SHAMINGMelissa had a hard time wanting me to feel as badly as she was feeling, so shaming would be a frequent weapon. It is so damaging and keeps you stuck on a toxic merry-go-round of shaming and escaping. It makes it impossible to feel like you are on the...

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