Podcasts by Anything But Vanilla Podcast

Episode 191: This Podcast Has Everything from 2021-06-24T19:00

You know we like to keep you on your toes, dearest and loyalist of listeners. That being said, why be consistent with our episode output when we can randomly record and spring some audio content...

Episode 190: I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR A BRA UNTIL I DIE from 2021-06-07T06:00

Tell us truly, on a scale of one to one million, how much do you absolutely hate wearing a bra? Has your pandemic life led you down the path of ditching that torso binding, bullshit contraption ...

Episode 189: Could Have Had Sex In The Car, Went To Target Instead. from 2021-05-27T14:00

Claire. Claire. Wake the fuck up woman! While we don’t consider this episode boring (the title clues you into that) Claire sure did show up during this evening recording and spread her tired ass...

Episode 188: And, We're Back Bitchezzzzzz from 2021-05-19T09:00

Dear, sweet, kind, caring listeners, we love you, we missed you and we finally have good sound quality… because we got to record inside thanks to science and being fully vaccinated hosts!!! Oh, ...

Episode 187: A Shortie But A Goodie from 2021-03-04T06:00

Oh listeners, we know we take up lots of your time with our drunken ranting, our aggressive opinions, our old lady like bickering and Claire’s love of Rizzoli and Isles. And the first step in re...

Episode 186: If We Had Any Shame, It's Been Gone For A While Now from 2021-02-27T15:00

Dear listeners, is it only us or, do you too find yourselves having to sift through several public nudity memories to try and find the worst of the lot? And, listeners, how many publicly embarra...

Episode 185: Power To The Pussy, A Hot Take On Sacramento's Only Fans Content Creators from 2021-02-18T14:00

Why, hello there… don’t you look gorgeous. We haven’t seen you in a while. Did you miss us? You did? Well, we missed your sweet cheeks too! We are back dear listeners of ABV and boyyyyyyy do we ...

Episode 184: This Pod Will Not Age Well from 2021-01-22T18:00

You know how we know 2021 is going to be better than the shittiest of years, 2020? For starters, Trump is gone, so there’s that. For seconds, we get to record in person, outside (at least for no...

Episode 183: Dear Diary... Watch Out For Claire And Fran from 2021-01-13T11:00

It is kept under lock and key for a reason. You know, all your inner thoughts, secret wishes, deepest desires, protected by two hard covers and a lock and key. And the social contract that binds...

Episode 182: Same Auld Lang Pod from 2021-01-03T09:00

Not much to say, other than that it's a damn birthday miracle that we got this new years episode up for Claire! Happiest of birthdays the most judgey, nosiest, funniest and kindest cohost a...

Episode 181: Back On Our Zoom Bullshit from 2020-12-14T11:00

Oh shit. You know it’s 2020, plus stay at home orders and back to that bullshit zoom recording when we are almost a week late in posting the podcast. But hey, do you blame us? This messy ass yea...

Episode 180: We Don't Know About You, But Our Mothers Are Not Giving Us Sex Tips. from 2020-12-03T15:00

I mean, you know us by now, right dear listeners? Pillars of the community? Gentle souls? Most non-judgmental duo on this planet??? Wait, no, that’s not us. Sorry. We got confused for a minute. ...

Episode 179: Let Claire Be Honest, She Considered Buying"My Pillow" from 2020-11-27T18:00

You have to appreciate her honesty, really. She truly has no shame, for all of your listening pleasure. Because, who at this point, dear listeners, would freely admit that they might actually bu...

Episode 178: Prison Pen Pals and Whipped Cream Bikinis from 2020-11-19T14:00

Do you, dear listeners, love yourself a whipped cream bikini, like producer Brian does? Were your formative sexual experiences define by James Vanderbeek and the cast of varsity blues? Are you a...

Episode 177: Claire Fishburn Jones, Modern Day Jesus In A Skims Robe? from 2020-11-12T13:00

A week ago were you feeling like us, dear listeners? Depressed, anxious, frazzled, exhausted, overwhelmed? Scared, paranoid, jittery, with just a touch of 2016 election PTSD? You aren’t alone, a...

Episode 176: Claire Believes The Children Are Our Future from 2020-10-29T13:00

Are you, dear listener, as hopeful as Claire is about our future, given the shitastic year we are having? Do you, like she does, in fact believe that these children will save us? Do you believe,...

Episode 175: Damn you 2020! Jerry Too? from 2020-10-21T19:00

God Damn you 2020. Yes, we said it. Or rather, we say it, time and time again, this year is just a huge flaming piece of trash. AND NOW????? You take away one little bright spot from our lives t...

Episode 174: Sexy Times For The ABV from 2020-10-15T17:00

Ooooooooooooo lala… what do vibrators, blowjobs and ABV have in common? All three get ya going and satisfy that itch that you just needed to be scratched, duh! This weeks episode is all about th...

Episode 173: Ben Savage, I Don't Need You To Get Kicked Out of Q's from 2020-10-01T12:00

Do you, dear listeners, have any awkward celebrities run Ins that make you cringe, make you sad or break your heart (In Fran's case) just a little bit? You don't? Well, let us set the ...

Episode 172: Better Late Than Never Bitches from 2020-09-26T21:00

The world is divided into two types of people… those who procrastinate and those who do not. If you haven’t guessed yet, Fran and Claire are of the former group, as evidenced by this weeks late ...

Episode 171: Do As She Says, Not As She Does from 2020-09-16T16:00

We all have that friend, you know the one, who likes to tell you what do and when to do it. The one who is always right and likes to tell you about it and weigh in on your wrongs. The one who ca...

Episode 170: Don't Sell Your Soul, Just Sell Your Vagina from 2020-09-10T13:00

Tale as old as time… true as it can be… can you finish the lyrics here???? This tale is of a woman. Does she need to sell her soul, compromise her morals and completely change her being in order...

Episode 169: That’s Cold Blooded from 2020-09-03T23:00

Names, names, what’s in a name???? How important is choosing the name with the “right” fit, feeling and flow? Well, if you are as petty as the B who thinks she knows better than everyone else in...

Episode 168: You Can’t Blame Your Parents For Everything... But In This Case, It’s Cool from 2020-08-26T12:00

How many times have you, dear listeners, blamed your shitty behavior on your upbringing? Drinking too much? For sure my dads fault. Picking assholes in relationships? Again, daddy issues. Critic...

Episode 167: I Don't Even Know If A Spirit Guide Could Help You from 2020-08-20T12:00

Hello out there! You! Yes, you listening to this podcast! Does the use of the word “daddy” for your significant other make you cringe? Are you dying to have a “Molly” party once this pandemic is...

Episode 166: This Is Not"MTV True Life, I Faked A Pregnancy"Or Is It? from 2020-08-13T15:00

Let us set the scene. The year? 1998. You are on your couch waiting patiently for your favorite TV show to start (Its ’98 so you watch your favorite shows, when cable TV says you watch). Before ...

Episode 165: A Piece of Advice, You Are Not On 90 Day Fiancé from 2020-08-06T14:00

Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you believe love conquers all? That it can overcome even the most challenging of obstacles? You’ll be surprised, dear listeners, to find out that one of the ladie...

Episode 164: This Is Bridezilla Behavior from 2020-07-30T12:00

Women. We are tough humans. We are smart. We are witty. We are clever. We are intelligent. We are funny. We are caring. We are cunning. We are protectors. We, as women, are a lot of things, most...

Episode 163: 2020 The Year That Just Needs To Stop from 2020-07-16T12:00

This year. This fucking year. I think it’s safe to say, dear listeners, that we all have some version of this same refrain. You lost your job? Cool one of us did too. You haven’t seen your famil...

Episode 162: Bitch, You Got Friend Ghosted from 2020-07-09T13:00

This damn coronavirus has taught us a lot about ourselves, our family, our significant others and out friends. Wouldn’t you agree dear listeners? Well, when you set Claire and Fran on the corona...

Episode 161: Erica Spills The Quarantine Tea! from 2020-07-02T07:00

This week, Fran totally slacked off (JK, JK, she has a newborn and we decided to give her a break) and your favorite cynical co-host, Erica, is back and dishing the gossip. She shares how life h...

Episode 160: ABV Tells You How To Properly Celebrate This July 4th from 2020-06-26T14:00

What’s better then getting to record a podcast live in person with one of your favorite people on this planet? Not much, is the answer. And with corona on the rise in our fair state, these two s...

Episode 159: Reunited And It Feels So... F**k The Police from 2020-06-18T07:00

What is better than getting to finally be in the same room as your best friend, cocktail in hand, talking shit, making one another laugh and getting a booty shot by their significant other? What...

Episode 158: Black Lives Matter. Period. from 2020-06-10T15:00

On this podcast we believe that Black Lives Matter. Period. There is nothing to argue there. We also believe that systemic racism is present in the police force across all 50 states. We believe ...

Episode 157 Corona Chronicles: If You Dont Like Baby Sounds, This May Not Be The Pod For You Anymore. from 2020-05-28T14:00

If you thought you were getting a week off from Fran’s man voice- guess what Bitches???? You were wrong. Clearly this lady is such a workaholic (read thirst monster) she can’t even take a week o...

Episode 156: Corona Chronicles, Please don't call CPS on Fran from 2020-05-21T08:00

Welcome in to episode 56! This is the LAST episode before FRAN FINALLY HAS HER FUCKING BABY. Can we get an AMEN?!?
Our week in review include Claire's perfect summer afternoon/evening a...

Episode 155: Corona Chronicles: Quarantine Orgies? It’s A YES For ABV from 2020-05-14T06:00

Shelter in place is getting a little spicy this week!!!! Did Claire and Fran create some quarantine fic for this weeks advice? Has SIP turned the ladies into some hornballs just like the rest of...

Episode 154 Corona Chronicles: Age Ain’t Nuthin’ But A Number from 2020-05-07T08:00

Another day, another socially distanced episode coming at you from the homes of Fran and Claire! What will they talk about? (Rona related bullshit for sure) Will they argue about something? (duh...

Episode 153 Corona Chronicles: Woop Woop That’s The Sound Of The Rona Police from 2020-04-30T07:00

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the day’s of the ‘Rona pandemic and this damn shelter in place. Are you all starting to feel the Groundhog Day-ness of it all?!?! Yeah, we are too. But, ...

Episode 152 Corona Chronicles: Let The Girl Write Her Fan Fic from 2020-04-23T12:00

Its week...well, who knows how many weeks or days we have been sheltered in place at this point. Does it matter? Time is a flat circle, are we right?!?! Anybody? Hello?

Welcome in to episo...

Episode 151 Corona Chronicles: To All The Haters- No Listens Are Bad Listens from 2020-04-15T07:00

Week five of shelter in place brings you, dear listeners, bomb blood orange margaritas, birthday celebrations, walks down memory lane and haters. Always haters. 

Welcome in to episode 50, ...

Episode 150 Corona Chronicles: Covid-19 Side Effects Now Include Vivid Sex Dreams. from 2020-04-09T14:00

Week four of shelter in place brings listeners a large milestone in the life and times of ABV... the one year anniversary of recording, arguing, loving, hating, laughing, crying and most importa...

Episode 149: Corona Chronicles-On How To Fight With Your Best Friend from 2020-04-01T09:00

Week three of shelter in place has the ladies of ABV feeling opinionated, feisty,  argumentative and ornery. Wait a hot second- how is that any different from any other week in the friendship of...

Episode 148: Confessions Of A Podcast Host: I’ve Never Bought A Dildo from 2020-03-25T15:00

Week two of shelter in place has got these ladies making all sorts of weird confessions- some of which you may have wanted to hear, others you definitely did not. But you, dear listeners, are th...

Episode 147: Life In The Time Of Corona from 2020-03-21T06:00

What to do when a pandemic has you sheltering in place, you can’t get closer than 6ft to others and there are no cleaning, paper products and milk at the grocery stores? Why listen to Claire and...

Episode 146: Can We Be Friends Anymore If You Call Me The T-Word? from 2020-03-10T10:00

How does one stay friends with their “best friend” after an insult is hurled so brazenly? Can a relationship be repaired when someone uses the “T-Word”? Is Claire acting like our ass clown, trai...

Episode 145: We Were Born To Do This- The Story Of A Lady Of Leisure And A Dominatrix from 2020-03-04T21:00

What dear listeners do you think you were born to do? Save lives? Help others? Work with underprivileged children? Well, naturally, the ladies have some ideas about what they were born to do and...

Episode 144: Where Does One Find Adult Sized Baby Diapers? Asking For A Friend. from 2020-02-27T08:00

Do you, or anyone you know, happen to have the number of a girl or guy who could hook it up with the cute printed diapers that babies wear? Yes?! Ok... but not for babies, we will be needing tho...

Episode 143: Titties, Titties, Titties! from 2020-02-20T08:00

Let’s pretend you have a friend who is pregnant and who can’t get drunk with you anymore but who still enjoys her drink when she can. Do you A) phone in the drinks you make her and half ass your...

Episode 142: Somebody is Going to Call CPS from 2020-02-12T13:00

Have you been waiting with baited breath to see who won our worst ex contest and the name of the cockroach that will be fed to a sweet little meerkat at the El Paso zoo! Well wait no more! Welco...

Episode 141: Your Ex’s Name Would Sound Great For a Cockroach from 2020-02-06T08:00

Hey, ABV listeners. We are lookin’ at you. Nay, we are lookin’ out for you. And as Valentine’s Day is around the corner, boy do we got you all a treat. Have you been spurned? Burned? Ghosted? Bl...

Episode 140: This Stinks Of Privilege from 2020-01-30T08:00

What happens when you cross two sick mothers, two busy schedules and and an atypical recording day? Well first and foremost, you don’t get a new cocktail, that’s for sure. What do you get instea...

Episode 139: Don’t You Come For My Monica from 2020-01-23T07:00

Do you like the taste of spicy hot garbage? Yes? No? Well, Claire clearly does not and if you are anything like her (loud, opinionated, nosy) then DO NOT make this weeks drink- a Tequila Mule. <...

Episode 138: Your Vagina Smells Like What? from 2020-01-16T08:00

Wait a minute... what? Your vagina smells like what? Because the ladies know theirs certainly don’t smell like the candle Gwenyth Paltrow is peddling for 75 bucks. It’s time to weigh in! What wo...

Episode 137: Strap On Your Strap Ons and Take Some Paxil from 2020-01-09T08:00

Weeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Did you miss us? Were you as depressed over our absence as the ladies have figured out Fran currently is? Are you prescribed and  us...

Episode 136: Holiday Hookups and Holiday Dreamzzz from 2019-12-19T08:00

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Claire and Fran are drunk! Happy holidays from us over here at the ABV! We got your cheery ass holiday drink covered (hello candied cranberries), we got your typical ...

Episode 135: PERFORMANCE ART! With Kristene Crimens from 2019-12-11T11:00

Ooooops we did it again. Another hour and a half episode is in the books. Did you ask for it? Not necessarily. Are you getting it? You bet your sweet ass you are! Welcome to episode 35, where gu...

Episode 134: Tell Me Truly, is Your Perineum Tan? from 2019-12-03T00:00

Is it? Is it tan? Golden? Bronze? Brown? How often are you exposing it to the sun? 30 seconds? One minute? An hour? Well, maybe you’re on to something, because Fran and Claire, the tanning queen...

Episode 133: This Homework Feels Like Homework from 2019-11-27T11:00

Did anyone else feel it this week? The cold sweat of procrastination beading up at the nape of your neck because you were four hours behind on the homework that was assigned to you three weeks a...

Episode 132: Do Better Sacramento with Kachet Jackson-Henderson from 2019-11-20T11:00

Oh Sacramento, why are you so disappointing at times? Why do you make us lament your terrible choices so frequently? Why are you the terrible boyfriend we just can’t quit? Is it us? Is it you? I...

Episode 131: T.I., Gender Reveals and PG&E: Go EF Yourselves from 2019-11-13T12:00

How can this weeks title items have anything in common? How, you ask, do they all go ef themselves? Well, the ladies can’t answer that question. All they can do is tell you with certainty that t...

Episode 130: DST, A True Hater from 2019-11-05T11:00

Let us ask you a serious question. What do you do when a friend makes you a terrible drink? Do you pretend to like it and choke it down? Or do you tell them how you truly feel? In our case, you ...

Episode 129: LOCK HIM UP! from 2019-10-30T12:00

Join Flaire this week as we celebrate the week of Halloween with a spooky cocktail and lots of gab.

If you can’t tell by your hosts voices, this week might have been a little rough. Joi...

Episode 128: To Botox or Not to Botox, That is the Question from 2019-10-23T07:00

Erica just couldn't stay away and joins Claire this week as Fran's fill-in. Erica gives us a life update and tells us how it is now being a listener of the pod. 
The girls drink a ...

Episode 127: Cheating, Toxic Traits and a Surprise Lesbian Wedding from 2019-10-16T14:00

You might be wondering what our episodes title ingredients have in common. The answer, in our case, is tequila. It’s always tequila. Welcome to episode 27,  where this dynamite duo finally answe...

Episode 126: How Does One Survive as a Liberal in Texas? from 2019-10-08T20:00

How does one survive being a liberal in Texas you ask? Or wait, did you ask that or are we too drunk and we asked that and just assumed you wanted to know. Either way, we got you covered! Meet Y...

Episode 125: You’re Never Too Old For a Slutty Halloween from 2019-10-01T12:00

Real talk. Do you like downing Costco brand alcohol and getting into heated discussions with your best friend?!? Well, you’ve come to the right place because in this weeks episode Flaire is gett...

Episode 124: Bagels&Dating Horror Stories with Rachel Smith from 2019-09-25T12:00

Summer is gone, fall is officially here and a new season means big changes for the ladies! This week the duo are welcoming in their first guest, Rachel Smith. Rachel is a “boss bitch” who owns h...

Episode 123: F*ck You Fat Shamers and Other Adorable Stories from 2019-09-18T14:00

It's raining, its pouring, technology is fucking up royally!!!! Pardon our lateness, but we had a bit of a mishap in recording this week, so we are a little, ahem, late, in posting this wee...

Episode 122: Fran, angry or passionate? from 2019-09-10T14:00

Who says summer is over after Labor Day? Not these drunks! Claire and Fran are slurping up the last bits of these summer days with a little slice of warm weather nostalgia... a, “juiced up”, Lim...

Episode 121: Our Hearts Will Go On from 2019-09-04T09:00

Its so hard to say goodbye to summer....or is it? On Episode 21, Claire serves up a new and improved rendition of a Tequila Sunrise to help keep the poolside vibes going for our listeners who ar...

Episode 120: Babysitters Beware from 2019-08-27T20:00

Hey ABV listeners! Did you think Fran’s White Claw creation was on fire last episode? Well, ya gurl nails another one this week, with “Tajine Dream #2” Full drink recipe is listed below. On Epis...

Episode 119: F*ck Your Apple Watch from 2019-08-20T21:00

Summer is winding down and the tan-off is only weeks away, which can only mean one thing...the ladies are finally jumping on the Whiteclaw wagon and living their best basic bitch summers. In epi...

Episode 118: The One Where Erica Gives Great Parenting Advice from 2019-08-13T17:00

Oh lawwwwwwdy! This past week has us firing on all cylinders! The ladies are coming in fiery and fierce with this last weeks news of citizens boycotting businesses supporting trump (with a lower...

Episode 117: Claire, The Queen of Unsolicited Advice from 2019-08-07T05:00

The trio is back and better than ever! Just kidding! Erica made a hood rat drink, the United States is royally fucked (thanks NRA!) and Claire is trying to back pedal on her “know-it-all” status...

Episode 116: A Walk To Say I’m Sorry from 2019-07-30T16:00

This week the ladies are feeling a little off kilter, as they are down to just two. With Erica out of town, Claire and Fran do their best to hold down the fort and get drunk with shooters (recip...

Episode 115: Haters Gone Wild from 2019-07-23T10:00

Hey ABV listeners! Before we get into episode details, we would like to take a moment to thank all of you for showing up to our very first ABV Happy Hour last Friday at the Mix Downtown! We had ...

Episode 114: Just Say Boundaries from 2019-07-16T15:00

Hey ABV listeners! Have you ever enjoyed a delicious glass of rose and thought, “I need this in slushie form stat!” Well, raise a glass for Erica’s drink of the week “Froze”! Full recipe is list...

Episode 113: Who’s your Zaddy from 2019-07-10T10:00

Are you shriveled up like a sad raisin after the extended 4th of July weekend like we are? Well, Fran’s delicious “916 Mojito cocktail” recipe is something to look forward to after you fall off ...

Episode 112: The One Where Claire Cries from 2019-07-03T07:00

It is the week of the 4th of July, and Claire has whipped up a refreshing cocktail recipe, “Claire’s Boozey Pink Lemonade” perfect for the extended holiday weekend, full recipe is listed below. ...

Episode 111: Grandma Vibes in the River City from 2019-06-25T08:00

Summer has officially begun and the ladies could not be happier. They are building their tans, beating the heat and sipping on way too many cocktails. Per usual, the gals recap the week by shari...

Episode 110: From Ladybird to Jailbirds from 2019-06-19T10:00

Who wants to get turnt this week?!?! Well, the girls were ready to drink and in that vein, Fran decided to make a, “Baltimore Zoo” as recommended by a listener! As always, the gals discuss their...

Episode 109: That’s your Hall Pass? from 2019-06-11T08:00

Temperatures are on the rise so the trio decided to crack open a bottle of... red wine???? Don't worry! The ladies are actually drinking Claire’s take on a Kalimotxo, “Red Wine and Diet Cok...

Episode 108: What I Like About You from 2019-06-04T15:00

Summer is right around the corner and the girls are feeling it!!!! Whizz up Erica’s version of a Strawberry Daiquiri, but don’t listen to any of her nonsense about making it a mocktail. As usual...

Episode 107: Dating At The DMV from 2019-05-28T08:00

This week, unsurprisingly,  Claire and Erica hate on Fran profusely, and she takes it like the champ that she is. Let’s all pound their favorite college drink with them as they discuss their, “R...

Episode 106: Yo Quiero No Friend Zone from 2019-05-21T14:00

This week, the ladies decided to go retro with their drink choice, just like the south has decided to turn back time and take away women’s reproductive rights! Drink away your sorrows as they di...

Episode 105: Uncommon Vibes from 2019-05-12T18:00

This week, the trio decided to reign it in just a little, given last episodes antics. Follow along as they try their best to be professional and kind but, fail miserably. Per usual, the gals dis...

Episode 104: Stay Classy Sacramento from 2019-05-04T19:00

In this episode, things get a little crazy as the ladies come in, “hot” already having imbibed prior to recording. But do not worry, plenty of laughs ensue as they discuss their “Rose and Thorn”...

Episode 103: Batons&Bayous from 2019-04-25T20:00

In this episode the ladies discuss their “Rose and Thorn” for the week, talk about some ridiculous and timely news events, discuss adult friendships and informed gun ownership and bring you thei...

Episode 102: Haters&Fanny Packs from 2019-04-22T20:00

In this episode the ladies discuss their “Rose and Thorn” for the week, talk about some ridiculous and timely news events, discuss wether Fanny Packs are once again having their fashion moment a...

Episode 101: Welcome to Anything But Vanilla from 2019-04-10T00:00

The introductory episode of Anything But Vanilla (ABV) is here! Get to know hosts Erica, Fran and Claire as they discuss the, “why” behind the show, how it came to be “Anything But Vanilla” and ...

Episode 101: Welcome to Anything But Vanilla from 2019-04-10T00:00

The introductory episode of Anything But Vanilla (ABV) is here! Get to know hosts Erica, Fran and Claire as they discuss the, “why” behind the show, how it came to be “Anything But Vanilla” and ...