094 – Being A Better Son - a podcast by Alf Herigstad

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BEING A BETTER SON…
Today’s topic, like the title implies, is about being a better son.  Regardless of what age you are, regardless of what your family circumstances are, if you are a guy, then you are also somebodies son.So why am I talking about this?  What does being a better son have to do with being a better man?  Well…think about it;  if you are a rotten, horrible son or even a mediocre son, then it would be difficult to be a better man at the same time wouldn’t it? 
Being a son is part of the equation, it’s part of being a man because all men are sons.  Therefore being a better son, is part of being a better man.
Maybe your parents are dead…you can still be a better son and I’ll explain how and why. Maybe your parents are horrible people that don’t deserve a better son…that’s unfortunate but it doesn’t matter, you should still be a better son, I’ll tell you why in a minute.
Maybe you and your parents are estranged, you haven’t talked to them in years for whatever reason and they aren’t a part of your life anymore…I believe there is still a valid cause to be a better son in that case as well.Maybe you never even knew your parents.  Someone raised you though; your grand-parents, an Uncle, or even foster parents…In all of these relationships, you are the son to these people who gave you a life.
I believe the vast majority of you however, have good decent parents that you love…and you take them for granted.  You think more about what your parents will do for you than what you can do for them.  I’m talking to you guys too.As you can see there are many different types of situations in which you can be a son.  one mans experience of being a son will be totally different than another mans. 
But, there are also some common factors.  Like when all of you were born, it was a big deal.  On that day, regardless of your circumstance it was all about you.  The proof of that, is that you are still alive.  You were helpless and weak and pathetic, but somebody fed you.  Somebody kept you warm and dressed you in clothes.  Somebody helped you live and without them you wouldn’t be here.  That somebody is more than likely one or both of your parents, or in some cases your grandparents or someone else…that doesn’t matter so much, what matters is that you were given a life.So, one reason to be a better son is simply to honor the life you are living, because that was a gift.  Regardless of how crappy it may have gotten after you were born you are standing on the earth breathing, and that has value, it should be respected and honored.
We’ve all heard the phrase;  “Two wrongs don’t make a right”.  That phrase is actually very, very true, especially when it comes to being a son.  Think about it…whatever injustice you suffered as a child, whatever crappy thing happened that you didn’t agree with, whatever immoral or dangerous lifestyle you were subjected to…you responding to that with hate or violence or indifference doesn’t fix it, it doesn’t make what happened to you better, or right…it only make your life suck more than it has to.The only thing that can fix the situation is you, rising above it and being a bigger person in spite of it.  You, living a good life, being a better man and prevailing in spite of whatever happened in your past. 
You, deciding to be a better son to whomever raised you is one way that rising above it all manifests itself.  If you aren’t able or willing to do this, then your entire past will remain an invalid excuse.  You will blame everything that goes wrong on that, instead of just being a bigger person and going forward. In which scenario do you think you will wind up more happy and healthy?  The scenario in which you carry a grudge against your parents and childhood your entire life, blaming it for everything?  Or the scenario in which you become a better son in spite of it all, and in doing so learn to focus on the...

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