133 – Being A Man During The Holidays - a podcast by Alf Herigstad

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Well, it’s the start of another week.  For some people thats a great thing…and for other people, not so much unfortunately, but…then here come the holidays.
We just got through Thanksgiving here in America, but now pretty much the whole world is head for the holiday season of Christmas and New years.  We have to get through all that before we get to 2017. You know I loved the holiday season when I was a kid, my mom always made it so fun for us.  But ever since I grew up…more and more most of the holiday’s really just kind of annoy me.
I’m not alone either.  It’s kind of crazy, but at a time when people are supposed to be filled with love and happiness and joy, a lot of people are really sad, and miserable.  The weather is usually crappy, the days are short.  The financial and personal problems people have always seem bigger when there is a holiday to deal with.A lot of people think that suicide rates and depression go up around the holiday’s…I believed that until I researched it and found out it wasn’t true.  It turns out suicide and depression are more prevalent during the spring and summer months, into the fall.
That doesn’t change the fact though, that a lot of people have a really hard time around the holiday’s, and we as men should be prepared for that so we can make it better on the people that we can influence.The reason I get annoyed by the holidays myself is mainly because of the mass commercialization of it.  It makes me angry.  I don’t like the fact that the corporate world has completely taken over, they tell us when to spend our money and what to spend it on, and for who.
I see people go into full on panic mode, spending money they really don’t have in order to buy something that someone else doesn’t really need.  Everybody is worried about what to get for who, and I think it really cast an ugly net over the whole thing.
I really don’t buy gifts for the holiday’s anymore.  Pretty much, I stopped doing it a few years back, I think partly because I have such an aversion to being told what to do.  I felt like I was being told I HAD to buy everybody something and I didn’t like that, so I stopped.  You might think I would have experiencedsome negativity around that from my family but surprisingly…I haven’t. 
I think this is why;  there is something that I do love about the entire holiday season, and that is the experience of family.  Just being together and playing board games, eating great food and telling stories.  To me that is what the holiday season is all about, and I focus on that aspect of it, and no one seems to miss the gifts.So how can we help, during the holidays, as men?  Well, It is not always native for us men to think about what other people are going through is it?  That’s something I’m still improving on as I go through my life.  If people tell me they are upset I can be very attentive, I want to help people…but if they don’t mention it, or say they are fine when they are not, then I just assume that’s how it is.
So our challenge as men in this upcoming holiday season.  Not just as men, but as men who want to be better men, is to make a special effort to anticipate the needs, pains, and desires of the people around us that we care about.It might sound easy, but it isn’t for most guys.  It’s something we need to focus on daily if we are going to have an impact.
A lot of times it won’t require more than listening to someones problem and letting them know you care.  Other times you might have to get more creative.  A lot of people are sad around the holidays because they are separatedfrom their family…thats an easy one, invite them home for dinner and make them part of your celebration. 
One year my daughter was very upset because she couldn’t afford to buy presents for everyone for the holidays.  I could have gave her money…but instead I helped her write personal poems for every member of the...

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