148 – Letting Yourself Down…excuses, excuses - a podcast by Alf Herigstad

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LETTING YOURSELF DOWN…
This is the first episode of 2017.  January 2nd, 2017.  Thank you for being here with me today.Since New Years just passed I am going to take this opportunity to talk about something that is relevant to this holiday.  That is…the different ways that we make excuses for our behavior.
If you have been listening for any length of time, you know how I feel about excuses;  they don’t exist, they are invalid 100% ofthe time.  With that in mind, I want to talk about a particular type of excuse that often goes unnoticed, and is often repeated over and over as well.
In America where I live, there are certain holidays that come with built in excuses.  New Years is one of them.  On New Years Eve there is a tradition of drinking way too much alcohol.  I’m quite certain many of you listening today are still recovering from your New Year celebration.Some other American holidays that provide this excuse are St. Patricks Day in March, and 4th of July to name a couple.  I’m sure in other cultures around the world there are similar holidays that provide the participants with a pass to act in ways they would not otherwise.
Please keep in mind, I am not being critical or accusatory here.  I have been guilty of this myself more times than I can count.  I am not telling anyone that they shouldn’t drink or that they shouldn’t get drunk.  I’m not telling anyone how to behave or how to have fun…and these behaviors are not the real issue.The issue, as I see it, is not the behavior itself but rather the fact that we will so readily abandon our own individual convictions with the slightest provocation…like what day it is.
Back in episode 141 I talked about mental toughness, if you haven’t listened to it, check it out.  In that episode I talk about each of us setting our own standards of behavior as men. Deciding for yourself what is acceptable and what is not, and then employing mental toughness as a means to adhere to your own rules.  These are not rules imposed on you by anyone else, these are your own rules that you have decided for yourself. 
I followed that up in episode 142 when I talked about being true to yourself.  Being true to your own convictions.
That is the real issue with these holidays.  Too easily, we abandon our own set of standards and the excuse is;…it was New Years, or whatever other external event is happening.For a specific example of what I’m talking about, lets say there is a guy named Fred.  Fred has determined through past experience that he should not drink past a certain point, because then he starts making a fool of himself, saying and doing things he regrets, things he cannot undo. 
Fred arrived at this conclusion for good reasons and most of the time he is being true to himself, managing his behaviors in accordance with what he decided as a man.But then his birthday comes, or New Years, or 4th of July, or ground hog day, or whatever…and in the moment Fred subconsciously removes all impediments to his behavior.  All the things he decided suddenly no longer apply and the excuse is that it is whatever day.
The next day Fred has to start all over.  He has to re-commit to himself, he has to make apologetic phone calls…if he even remembers what he did.  Fred feels like crap physically and emotionally because he knows he let himself down.  It doesn’t have to go this way guys.I’m using alcohol as an example because it is a common one, but there are many behaviors we excuse ourselves from depending on the holiday. 
Lets say there is a guy named Sam.  Sam has a weight problem, and way back in spring Sam determined that he was not living as his best self, he decided to do something about it and one of the things he decided was that he was not going to eat crap that wasn’t good for him.  No pastries, cookies, cakes or pies.  No Soda and no junk food.Sam was a rock star all summer, he didn’t touch any of that...

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