234 – Errors In Judgement, and How To Handle Them - a podcast by Alf Herigstad

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Errors In Judgement, and How To Handle Them…
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This week I got a letter from a listener named Kyle.  Kyle was wondering if I would talk about something specific, that being; overcoming failure in your life.The kind of failure Kyle was talking about is the same kind of failure each of us have experienced in one way or another.  I’m not talking about big things like failing to pass the bar exam or failing to become a millionaire by the time you are 30.  No, I’m talking about those little everyday failures.  The kinds of things that make you feel regret about who you are and what kind of man you are being.
The example Kyle used in his letter was from his own experience.  He had been doing well with all of the goals he had set for himself and then one day he went to a casino.  He proceeded to get drunk and spend way too much money, he gambled with family money, went home to his wife drunk, and then did the same thing the following day.  In his own words, he “made a fool of himself”. We have all done things that we regret after the fact.  Maybe you cheated on your wife, or cheated on a test at school?  Perhaps you acted inappropriately at an office party?  Maybe you let someone down who was really counting on you?  You may have treated someone badly for no reason, and now you regret it?  There are countless scenarios I could recite and eventually I would get around to that thing you have done.  I’ve already named some of the things I have done.  Look, none of us are perfect and we are going to make mistakes.  We will have errors in judgement.
The listener who posed this question, Kyle, refers to these as failures, and he wants to know how you should deal with these things as a man, and how to overcome them.It’s a great question, but right off the bat I’m going to change the wording.  I personally don’t like using the word failure in my vocabulary.  Some years ago I realized that every so called ‘failure’ was also an opportunity to improve.  Failure has such negative connotation.  If you go around thinking of yourself as a failure then you will continue to fail—at least that’s my opinion on it.
I prefer to call these types of things mistakes, or errors in judgement.  Some mistakes are way bigger and have more consequences than others but at the end of the day…it was still an error in judgement that led to it.So, how should we deal with ourselves when we have committed one of these egregious mistakes, and how can we overcome them?  In answer to that question I’ll point out that there are two kinds of people in the world.  There are people that keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again.  Then there are people that make a mistake once or twice, and learn from the experience.  The people that learn from the experience don’t make that mistake again.  They will go on to make other...

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