Hanka is a Polish cryptid - a podcast by Avery Smith

Hanka (he/him or she/her) is a 19-year-old bigender lesbian who was born in Warsaw, has lived in places like Belgium and Israel, and is back in Warsaw again. In this interview, Hanka talks about what it's like to be LGBT in Poland, a very Catholic country where the LGBT community is only just entering the public consciousness; how theatre helped her figure out her gender identity; and how he's moved from thinking something's "wrong" with him to recognizing that experiencing anxiety doesn't mean God has left you.



Find Hanka on instagram at spagetticathimself, and on tumblr as hanqa-a or dyke-community.



Talking points:

- Intro, Catholicism in Poland (0:00 - 7:30)

- First crush on a girl, questioning sexuality (7:31 - 9:04)

- In Poland, LGBT people are "cryptids" -- but awareness is slowly growing (9:05 - 15:47)

- Figuring out sexuality and gender, getting into theatre (15:48 - 23:03)

- Currently in school for costuming (23:04 - 27:03)

- Guilt and doubt, compensating by being "the best Christian" (27:04 - 33:00)

- Realizing that anxiety is the problem, not something wrong with him (33:01 - 36:23)

- More on trying out different labels; "the gender binary is one big lie" (36:24 - 40:15)

- Internalized misogyny while repressing attraction to girls; "I love being 70% a girl!" (40:16 - 41:54)

- "Crushes" on guys; "Are you lesbians?" (41:55 - 45:09)

- Teaching children English, homophobia against teachers (45:10 - 48:44)

- More on LGBT politics in Poland -- "the timeline is so messed up" (48:45 - 52:50)

- Struggling to decide whether to come out with friends, others (52:51 - 55:08)

- Wrapping up: "Test everything and hold to what's true" (55:09 - 57:08)

Further episodes of Blessed Are the Binary Breakers

Further podcasts by Avery Smith

Website of Avery Smith