When faith hurts: Sharing stories of transphobic violence - a podcast by Avery Smith

In this episode, five people share their stories of religious hurt.

Bryce winces when he hears church music. Neko worries about her family finding out she's LGBT, but dreams of leaving Indonesia to be herself. Ryka discovers that they are gay and trans because it was part of God's plan. Spencer is a "drive-by casualty of religious homophobia," and struggles with their relationship with their parents. Avery struggled in their teenage years simply because no one gave them the language they needed to thrive. 

My hope for this episode is that listeners who are going through similar pain will feel encouraged to learn that they are not alone; and that all of us will be motivated to compassion -- grieving together and then acting to challenge transphobia and cissexism wherever we find them. 

Content warnings are offered before each individual's story (both in the audio and below). In general, this episode contains a lot of discussions on transphobia and homophobia (internalized and otherwise); fear of divine rejection; and family and church conflict. 

Talking points:

- Introd: sharing the stories of several people's experiences with transphobic violence in faith communities (0:00-3:23)

- Limitations of this episode (3:24-6:45)



- Bryce Corcoran's story (he/him) (read by Avery) (CW: homophobia, trans phobia, family rejection, fear of divine rejection, brief mentions of death)

- church and family members who do not approve, will not meet his wife (6:46-10:14)

- struggling to engage with God because of the damage done in God's name (10:15-11:08)



- Neko's story (she/her) (CW: homophobia and transphobia from family, students, and religious groups; internalized homophobia; fear of family rejection / fear of being outed; government censorship)

- Living in Indonesia, parents who are church workers; "If they knew, my life would go to ruin" (11:09-18:54)

- Hope: finding other LGBT Christians; "I'm getting out of this country someday." (18:55-20:21)



- Ryka's story (he/him or they/them) (read by Avery) (CW: transphobia and homophobia, including internalized, including the word "homosexual" used as a slur; fear of divine rejection; mentions of the military)

- lacking the language to understand himself (20:22-23:01)

- "If God really hates me, why should I love him?" (23:02-24:35)

- "I am gay and transgender because it is in God's plans for me." (24:36-26:05)



- Spencer's story (they/them) (CW: one use of the F word; homophobia and transphobia; mentions of religious sexism; conflict with parents)

- Trying to fix injustice and getting shut down; "I've never been able to forgive them for not listening" (26:06-29:34)

- "I didn't have anyone that I trusted to help me sort out my feelings about faith and religion." (29:35-31:46)

- Years later -- counseling with parents; “no way to tell a church that’s trying to ‘save’ you that what they’re doing is literally the opposite of salvation” (31:47-32:59)



- Avery's story (they/them) (CW: suicide ideation and one brief mention of self harm; queerphobia, especially internalized; puberty discussed)

- Learning that gay is a dirty word, that men and women are inherently different (33:00-35:58)

- The violence of silence, of being unable to believe we have a happy future ahead (35:59-39:09)

- Poem: what I would tell my ten year old self (39:10-44:22)



- Wrapping up: I have a Patreon now! (44:23-48:56)

Please check it out! https://www.patreon.com/queerlychristian?fbclid=IwAR1ygGPvHVHFdZfQyMjgy2vE8TOEt0dt3IlhbCsOui3C5hA81t4aC5odfcg



Ryka can be found on twitter @RSween1.

If you are interested in reaching out to Neko, contact Avery.

Further episodes of Blessed Are the Binary Breakers

Further podcasts by Avery Smith

Website of Avery Smith