Podcasts by Blue Babies Pink
(Note: Blue Babies Pink is like an audio book. Start with the Prologue, then Episode 1, Episode 2, etc.)
For nearly a decade, Brett Trapp Harman kept a secret journal of thoughts on being gay and Christian, knowing one day he'd shout the story he feared most.
On a Wednesday morning in late 2016, he logged on to Facebook and began shouting...
He started by publishing a Gossip Guide to his sexuality—a cheeky way to let friends know his secret. He then began sharing the vivid details of his story through a 44-episode memoir, published as one episode per day. He called the story Blue Babies Pink.
Within days, Blue Babies Pink began to spread through social media. Thousands of readers tuned in, eagerly waiting for the daily installment to be released. Readers resonated deeply with Brett's struggle with faith, loneliness, shame, singleness, workaholism, and uncertainty.
Called "the Netflix of blogs," more than 100,000 people have read or listened to Blue Babies Pink to date.
This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4073196/advertisement
Further podcasts by B.T. Harman
Podcast on the topic Christentum
All episodes
Epilogue • My Little Speaking Up from 2017-03-02T18:37:31
Brett's final thoughts on the journey of Blue Babies Pink...
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Episode 44 • Love Storms from 2017-03-02T18:35:01
NOTE: This is the finale of Blue Babies Pink. If you haven't read the previous 43 episodes, please do that before listening to Episode 44. Also, after listening to this one, be sure to check out th...
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Episode 43 • Tears on a Boat Dock from 2017-03-02T18:26:52
"I sprinted down that path, through the trees, all the way out to the boat dock—heaving, shaking, and sobbing as I ran. I felt like I might choke, fighting for breath. My face poured wet salt onto ...
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Episode 42 • Someone to Run Home To from 2017-03-02T18:25:42
"I began to think a lot then about the role of a spouse, of a companion. I'd never been in anything close to a meaningful relationship, and I'd slammed the door on love years before, so I was cluel...
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Episode 41 • Questions for God from 2017-03-02T18:23:17
"My whole life, I'd been taught that God's design for the world was men and women getting married and making babies. This formed family units which were the building blocks of society. So it made s...
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Episode 40 • Brain Blanks from 2017-03-02T18:20:10
Brett appears on a Christian TV show and disaster strikes...
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Episode 39 • Decade-Long Battles from 2017-03-02T18:18:18
"March 14 was the day I thought God cursed my testicles..."
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Episode 38 • Elvis and Larry from 2017-03-02T18:14:57
"And while death is inevitable, we still have to live. We still have to do our best to use our lives well. This is one of the great paradoxes of life: That our time on earth is both utterly preciou...
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Episode 37 • Growing Old, But Not Quite Growing Up from 2017-03-02T18:02:51
"Every wedding was a little funeral for me. I held a little sad ceremony in my heart...a ceremony for one..."
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Episode 35 • Becoming Minority from 2017-03-02T17:59:29
"For the first time I began to wonder if this—all of this—was about more than sexuality. I began to wonder that maybe I'd been focused on the wrong thing all along. I began to wonder if this was mo...
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Episode 34 • Warm Hands on Cold Shoulders from 2017-03-02T17:57:36
Thoughts on singleness and paying people to touch you...
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Episode 33 • Not Perfect, But Extremely Rare from 2017-03-02T17:55:28
"When I understood that, I realized most of my stresses in life came from this subterranean sense of self-hate that I carried around with me each day. Being unaware of the self-hatred inside of you...
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Episode 32 • Community from 2017-03-02T17:53:41
"And I believed that, if God wanted to love me—to hug me—He'd do it through my community. His people would surround me. They'd carry me. They'd love and encourage me on hard days. They'd push me fo...
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Episode 31 • Adventuring from 2017-03-02T17:51:38
Brett devises a two-part plan to survive as a gay Christian...
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Episode 30 • Who Needs Love? from 2017-03-02T17:50:22
"And so sometime around 30, I slammed the door. I slammed the door on love..."
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Episode 29 • Lifeboats from 2017-03-02T17:47:41
Brett has the hardest coming out conversation of his life + a lesson on how to respond when your child comes out to you...
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Episode 28 • Chocolate Gravy from 2017-03-02T17:44:48
"Jesus was so kind to me that day. He was so kind to send me a friend like Kelly. He was so kind to prepare that moment and those biscuits and that gravy. It's easy to get caught up in the ways God...
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Episode 27 • Getting Real in London from 2017-03-02T17:43:32
Brett travels to Europe with a friend + an unforgettable night in London's oldest pub (NOTE: This episode is highly visual, and audio listeners are highly encouraged to visit the Episode 27 link on...
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Episode 25 • Finding a New Track from 2017-03-02T17:36:13
"I would have done anything to just not be alone, to have at least 1% of hope that I wouldn't feel like this forever. And people who have felt hopeless before know that 1% of hope is a whole lot of...
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Episode 24 • Lonely Practice from 2017-03-02T17:34:07
Brett practices for a lifetime of loneliness—at an isolated cabin in the mountains and at a football stadium surrounded by 100k people...
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Episode 23 • Unlearning How to Throw a Football from 2017-03-02T17:31:17
"And still other failures feel like brands seared deep into the soft flesh of our souls. After the initial pain, they scab over, then scar over. And looking at it each day, we get used to it. It be...
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Episode 22 • Secret Sadness from 2017-02-03T13:34:41
"Closets are dark, and when the gay child—or in my case, young professional—decides to stuff his soul in there, it has a warping effect. It forces you deeper inside yourself. You become a mapless s...
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Episode 21 • An Alien in Nashville from 2017-02-03T13:31
Brett hears a friend say something about gay people he will never forget...
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Episode 20 • Work, Work, Work, Work, Work from 2017-02-03T13:27:07
"Deep inside every workaholic man is a little boy who never felt big enough, strong enough, worthy enough. And that little boy can be very loud. He reminds the man of his lacking, of his lessness. ...
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Episode 19 • Social Media is Born from 2017-02-03T13:24:36
"A lot of my friends got married in their mid-20s. And I began to notice a trend: When friends would get married, you wouldn't hear from them much anymore. This was new to me, because, before that,...
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Episode 18 • On the Counselor's Couch from 2017-02-03T13:21:38
"Yet while I was praying against it, I was simultaneously denying that same-sex attraction was a thing in my life. Back then, I denied that same-sex attraction was an intrinsic part of me. If anyt...
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Episode 17 • On Choosing to Be Gay from 2017-02-03T13:18:28
"I think I was like a lot of people in that I WANTED it to be a choice. If gay is a choice, I thought, then it makes the Christian theology of it so much simpler. Religion is hard, because it requi...
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Episode 16 • Leaving Home, Coming Out from 2017-02-03T13:16:38
"But those who have kept pet secrets know they are hard to keep caged. They thrash and bite and wiggle around inside of you. They aren't well behaved, and they have a life of their own. All that in...
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Episode 15 • The Art of Distraction from 2017-02-03T13:14:50
Everyone deals with their pain somehow. Brett discloses his coping mechanism of choice...
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Episode 14 • How Did I Become Gay? from 2017-02-03T13:13:21
"Maybe it was because that cat slept in my bed every night. I mean . . . my brothers aren't gay, and they DEFINITELY DIDN'T have a cat sleeping with them every night. Maybe it's because our family ...
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Episode 13 • On Broken Machines from 2017-02-03T13:11:30
"Because of its near universality, heterosexuality is one of the most unifying forces in all of humanity...Imagine missing that one key piece of your humanity and what that would feel like. It's a ...
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Episode 12 • Girls Girls Girls from 2017-02-03T13:09:04
"Boobs have always kinda freaked me out. They're very scary to me, and the thought of touching one is like the thought of touching a wet bag of earthworms..."
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Episode 11 • A Good Good Father from 2017-02-03T13:06:57
The most emotional episode from the series....
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Episode 10 • Get Thee Behind Me Ooltewah from 2017-02-02T22:49:30
"One of the lesser known burdens of being gay is that you live a lot of your life in your head. At a young age, you start having little conversations with yourself. And you keep having them—over an...
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Episode 9 • Earning my Man Badge from 2017-02-02T22:48:07
"Part of me wonders if I was running back then, running from the very faint idea that just maybe this badness was inside of me, like a crocodile—waiting—nestled deep in cold mud at the bottom of a ...
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Episode 8 • Learning About the H-Word from 2017-02-02T22:46:09
"A few years earlier, in junior high, I first noticed that I looked at the boys more. It was very subtle and innocent. It was like I envied them...I wanted them to like me. It didn't feel like a se...
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Episode 7 • Life as a Youth from 2017-02-02T22:44:45
Brett is crushed by the worst news of his life...
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Episode 6 • What Happened on the Carpet from 2017-02-02T22:43:33
Brett has a bizarre spiritual encounter on the floor of a church in Pensacola, Florida.
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Episode 5 • There's Something Happening in Pensacola from 2017-02-02T22:41:44
"For me church had always just been a very ho-hum thing. Pastor's kids can get jaded to it all because we're around church stuff so much. It's just another part of your life like school or sports o...
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Episode 3 • Home and School from 2017-02-02T22:32:51
"I was small and gangly—like a little spider monkey amongst gorillas—so I couldn't do much damage. But I knew one surefire way to get the big guys' attention: pinching. I'd hang on the fringes and ...
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Episode 2 • The Christ-Haunted South from 2017-02-02T22:27:46
"Being a preacher’s kid in a small town is a low form of southern royalty, and I was aware of this at an early age. As a kid I could basically wander the halls of our big old church at will, anytim...
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Episode 1 • Shofars in the Suburbs from 2017-02-01T22:03:15
The story begins on a rainy night in Alabama as a group of Baptists march through the night with rams' horns in hands, praying for the miracle of a lifetime.
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Prologue • The Mud on our Shoes from 2017-02-01T21:58:02
"In the American South, homosexuality is often viewed as a spiritual issue. But for me, it's always just been a physiological one—like sneezing or sweating or laughing."
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