Podcasts by Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones

Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones

Vampires dance with Goths around campfires far from the rainy Metroplex- as the Central Computer says in Cell U.R. "Most entertainment consists of beautiful people on sexy adventures without kids, because real life is the opposite." Imagine a near future, when nanotechnology allows doctors to install speakerphones on the inside of everyone's ears, a microphone in their throat, and scanners that record through the eyes. All citizens enjoy a permanent connection to the internet.
One human cellphone loves two women; the tattoo artist, belly-dancing Gypsy fortune teller Vampire Elvirus, and a SuperUser's abandoned, beautiful, Wiccan, earth-mother, equestrian daughter named Louise.
In this multi-media comedic satire of everything you love about B Movies and black-and-white thinking, Mark Plimsoll presents adult themes with elegance and style, buried in slang or scientific jargon, in a way almost suitable for all children of most ages, even those who can vote. Cell UR allows us to exercise our intelligence and imagination with a story "low on violence and saturated fact." Sometimes songs propel the plot; Borderline, Wiccan Moon, Imagine a Future, Santa's Lapp Dance, In Trouble, Meet Yer Expectations, Kiss and Tell Eternity, Whiplash, Onda Beach, Weird Beautiful, etc.
Will Gnathal receive his new Personal Customized Transporter in time to invite Vampire Elvirus to tattoo his backside on the beach as the sun sets, to realize four of his life goals, five if she's of another race? Will the Siliconoid Aliens catch the reality show Spaceship Rambler (before Andrea loses her virginity) and exact revenge on all DNA life forms? Will Maximilliano Duroc, Global President of Metroplex, declare war in language people understand? What evil lurks in the war-torn Devastate, besides genetically modified organisms and the everyday terrors of nature at night?
Cell-UR describes the near-future Twenty-first century's human conditions in humorous metaphor, through the eyes of a 'normal' industrialized, connected, urban "metrosexual" adolescent coming-of-age as part of something bigger than himself, to learn that true evil …

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Blood Cuddling from 2009-04-05T20:13:25

In this Earth-shaking climax, Vampire Elvirus suggests Gnathal get an education with the song "Bong Hits for Jesus." He Who Never Forgets announces peace, while his haploid daughter Louise agrees t...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Dis Funk Shun from 2009-04-05T20:00:38

The Dragoons attack, Gand nathal finds himself the central vortex of a sea of amulets in the night. The doctors aren't sure it's a baby. The Alien Spaceship enters Earth's Time-space, and Vampire E...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Gangbang from 2009-04-05T19:51:20

Gnathal, along with Vampire Elvirus and her huge dog Wolfie, must try to rescue Louise from the gangbangers, the Imp Udents. Spaceship Rambler gives its final podcast to a planet that fails to res...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Lost In Foam and Uncoupled from 2009-04-05T19:39:39

The Children of the Greatful Dead of Night flood the Metroplex with purple foam to hide the invasion of yellow school buses. A plague of Dragoons darkens the skies, and invading denizens of the Dev...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Consexual Scent from 2009-04-05T19:23:46

They torture Gnathal with the song "Whiplash" to psychologically prepare him for Confession to the Warden in his Last Words, just before he serves his life sentence of Civil Death. Rescued by the o...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
The Pleasure Coma from 2009-04-05T19:05:38

After the followers of Christopheles kill the imposter, Gnathal becomes Public Enemy Number One, and the gangbanger Impudents threaten to kidnap Louise. During the song "Metroplex Anthem," Gnathal ...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Christopheles Rex from 2009-04-05T18:41:20

Dizzy in his transporter driving through a night rain, Gnathal ponders his future as either Christopheles Rex the Warlock Vampire, or married to the filthy rich, well-connected Louise as her doting...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
I, Pornstar from 2009-04-05T18:13:35

Gnathal recognizes himself in one of Vampire Elvirus's dark Gothic animalist minimalist videos. She regains his sympathy with the song "Santa's Lapp Dance" and begins to ready him for his Vampire A...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Love Dolls in War from 2009-04-05T17:57:21

Jilted Gnathal falls into despondence, indolence, and impotence which motivates him to join in the revelry in the Metroplex underbelly. He receives a gift of twinner Love Dolls and reconnects with ...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
In Trouble from 2009-04-05T17:43:29

A wet dream of Vampire Elvirus in the coils of a serpent deep in a a cave in the Grand Tetons inspires Gnathal to return to Walloon Pond with beer and toilet paper to confront his inner self, and s...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Barebacking Vampires from 2009-04-05T17:31:40

Vampyric belly dances around the campfire- the adventures of a Goth foursome on a long-term camp-out in an agrarian organic commune. Song "Weird Beautiful."

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Wiccan Soulstice Orgy from 2009-04-05T17:04:09

Chaperoned by gender-indistinct Hedonitus back to the Metroplex, Gnathal works monitoring workers in the seedy underbelly of the Metroplex and takes weekend bike trips into DevaState in preparation...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Fiancé's Seductive Mother from 2009-04-05T16:49:20

Louise takes Gnathal on horseback to her father, the Super-User, to restore his Transponder functionality. Poem: Cristopheles, Songs
"Viennese Vamp," "Desert Ride," and " Wiccan Moon."

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Loosing Virginity from 2009-04-05T16:34:31

A Dragoon chases Gnathal up the cliffs onto a high plateau of windswept grasses. He lives as a hermit in an encampment on the shores of an alligator infested lake until he meets the equestrian Lou...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Muck People's Fertility Rites from 2009-04-05T16:21:14

Sheik Cano's men kidnap Gnathal and take him deep into the DevaState to sell to the Muck People, who banish him to work the mushrooms in Growhouse tunnels. President Duroc announces his Political T...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
DevaCop Occupation from 2009-04-05T16:04:16

In the drunk tank, Gnathal guards the lingerie-clad sleeping vampire all day. When Vampire Elvirus awakens a trifle before sunset, she uses the worst torture known to man to escape from jail. Later...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
The Wilding from 2009-04-05T15:47:09

Gnathal recieves his piece of pink electronic paper that details how he loses his job, fired, and laid off, and then immediately hears the Prezident's podcast to the world as a member of the Revolu...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
She Bytes from 2009-04-05T15:30:09

Gnathal wants to buy Vampire Elvirus to whine and dine, but on who? Their romantic evening of food, wine, and intellectual intercourse overshadows a bed of music and poetry that includes such clas...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Carjacked from 2009-04-05T15:16:13

After Gnathal overloads on podcasts, he test-drives his new Personal Customizable Transporter and runs into Cyberspace call girl Vampire Elvirus. She hitches a ride and virtually propositions our v...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Spaceship Rambler from 2009-04-05T15:00:53

As he works at his Wallscreen, Gnathal listens to podcasts such as President Maximilliano Duroc's thanks for his re-election to another four years, the Spaceship Rambler reality show's virgin crew ...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Life Ghouls from 2009-04-05T14:38:56

Gnathal obsesses over the multi-media business card of the tattoo-artist, fortune-teller, professional escort "Vampire Elvirus" which inspires him to buy a Personal Custom Transporter.

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
To become Adulterated from 2009-04-05T14:26:29

Replaying the nano-recorded memories of his kidnapping the day before, Gnathal discovers clues. Duncan attempts to prove his lost innocence with thirty-seconds of a cheesecake-in-extremis video he...

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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones
Meeting the Vampire from 2009-04-05T14:17:41

Obese urbane gameboy Gnathal, a human cell phone from the Metroplex, works an assignment in the Devastate, where two scruffy men force him into a rendezvous with Vampire Elvirus.

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