164: How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel - a podcast by Dave Stachowiak

Is someone you care about - or maybe even you - working for a jerk? In today's show, my guest Tom Henschel from the Look&Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation.

Tom HenschelHost, The Look&Sound of Leadership
Executive and Leadership Coach, Essential CommunicationsHow to know if it’s just you

Test the waters, but be carefulHow to address it

When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of itFrame the business concern, not you as the victim
Don’t take it personallyDon’t speak for others

You are not going to change your bossIt’s not your place to get coaching for your boss
Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behaviorIf you can accept that, what do you want to do?

If it’s really a business issue, give the feedbackAvoid being attached to the outcomeOnce the feedback is given, let it go
Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give itWhat to do when the boss is chaotic

Calm down with someone who is chaoticTake tons of notes
Get clear agreementsWhen they change something, don’t take it personally
Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is saidHow to deal with the narcissist

Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed“Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel
“With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom HenschelHave support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss
When you can do it honestly, throw them a boneAlways approach situations with collaboration and support

What do you do with the screamer?Don’t engage, wait it out

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