COMA radio : m's tributes will never retire from these veins - a podcast by fiv france

Another single MP3 that keeps me thinking of Michelle. She will always remain pasted to the layers of my heart.

The song's lyrics:

No more gold lights for the queen earth to keep you warm in your kingdoms
High on the waves you make for us
But not since you left have the waves come
The bar is dead and the rocket's rain is keeping you wet in your deathbed
So high on the waves you made for us
And not since you left have the waves come...
Have the waves come...

7.19.06 : I can feel you speaking to me when it rains

I've discovered another song that makes me think of you. Will be adding it to my tribute playlist as soon as I go home tonight. I've really been missing you, M. I never feel your presence in my rooms anymore. My television works fine again. And my lightbulbs never blow out anymore. The 75 watt stock has been restacked. The surplus bringing even more sadness. Because you're completely in heaven now. And it could be a while until I get to hug and feel your smile again. Just keep knowing that I miss and think of you always. Always wondering about the conversations that we could have had each afternoon. Because today I'd have probably talked to you about my sister's graduation party and my ideas for a new art piece. I'd have asked you if Big Stew still avoided you. And if you would be proud of me if I told you that I'm about to go head to head with my greatest fear. And plant the truth out in the open for everyone to see. Because I've been hoping that you're still proud of me. For all of the art that I've been making. For the solo side projects that I've kept up with. I love you, Michelle. And I already know that you're proud of me. And even from heaven... you will always be there for me.

7.19.06 : cherry pepsi for all

Today I went to Wendy's and bought a mandarin chicken salad. It's what I do when my heart is hurting. It's what I do when I'm missing you like crazy. When I can no longer stand the silence of your laughter. I hate not having you around, M. I fucking hate it. But the salad was the last thing that I had seen you eat. Because I recommended it's ingredients and you took me up on the thought of it. The evening I drove to the restaurant and picked it up for you. We sat in your livingroom and ate dinner together. We watched your sister's "Walk the Line" DVD and we breathed together. It was the last time that I saw you. The last time that I looked into your eyes. As I stepped into your grip for my final hug.

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