Podcasts by Dear Hank & John

1: The Debut: Do You Pee on Your Own Head? from 2022-02-22T12:35:11.160958

Will we go to Ava's wedding? Have you ever peed on your own head? What's going on with Mars? Also...AFC Wimbledon?!

5: Should I Lie to Get a Job? (w/ Maureen Johnson!) from 2022-02-22T12:35:11.156979

With John out of town on the Paper Towns press tour, Hank calls on long-time John-replacement Maureen Johnson to help co-host this extra long edition of Dear Hank and John. In it, we discuss the...

9: Dear Hank and Felicia (w/ Felicia Day!) from 2022-02-22T12:35:11.152683

Can you ruin your life in high school? How do you un-friend someone IRL? What video game world would you live in? Hank Green and Guest-John Felicia Day take on these questions and more in the fi...

14: Jurassic Mars from 2022-02-22T12:35:11.146728

Do other people exist? How do I become a good middle school teacher? How do I know if I'm being egotistical? What is "home" and will I ever find it? And a secret that Hank has never told anyone ...

18: Coming to Terms with your Nerdiness from 2022-02-22T12:35:11.141765

How do I balance my marriage with my career? What if your job isn't morally ambiguous? Is there something wrong with me if I am informed but also not sure who to vote for?

But boy do we sp...

243: Either 8½ or 68 Million from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.644008

How do I help my mom manage her depression? How do I address a professor who signs their emails with initials? What size boot is Italy? What is the most seen you've ever felt by a piece of fiction?...

268: How Onion Weight Per Onion from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.574488

What do I do about a secret snake neighbor? What do I do with excessive root vegetables? How do I respond to someone asking if I'm blushing?

269: Into the Future, Vittorio from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.573531

How do I achieve my dream fridge? Why are cartoon mice cute? How does rounding up for charity work?

276: An Onomatopoetic Wifi Explainer from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.567496

Is it rude to turn off the lights while my dog eats? How does wifi work? Why do cans explode in the cold but not bottles?

277: One Quirk Too Many from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.566326

Why do American weeks start on Sunday? How long should Christmas decorations stay up? How do I add novelty to my life?

279: Live Your Whimsy (w/Farah Alibay!) from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.564608

How will humans keep track of days on Mars? How do I stop imagining mice in books? What's it like being a systems engineer for the Perseverance Rover?

280: Music in the Wind (w/ Katherine Green!) from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.563830

How many songs go on a perfect playlist? Why don't eyes fog up like glasses? How do I track down a mystery smell?

284: Brain Secretions Worthy of Consumption (w/ Charlie Jane Anders!) from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.559905

How do we know if our ideas are original? Are there any serious efforts to colonize asteroids? What unnecessary things do you do to make life more enjoyable?

288: I Thought I'd Come Up With A Joke from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.555991

What did we do before glasses? What do I do about freeloading roommates? Where are all the Irish setters?

296: The Y'all Call from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.543223

How do I avoid grieving the living? Can a box be round or oval? How do you keep one perfect book from ruining all others for you?

298: The Whens and Wheres of Thens and Theres (w/Jess Zafarris!) from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.541045

Why can you answer what, when, and where with that, then, and there?

299: A Very Dark Place Inside My Bones from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.540067

How do I figure out when a wedding is being held? How do bees work? Does sunlight hit my bones?

303: Come Back With A Warrant from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.497741

How much does a rainbow weigh? Where is Voyager headed? What does "not unkindly" mean?

306: Lemon People Bucket Problem from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.494911

What is indigo? Would we notice if everything in the universe got bigger? If I fell through a cloud, would I get wet?

309: The Modern Pacifier from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.491096

How do I be less dependent on my phone? What happens if you eat the scoby? Where did museums come from?

310: Ruined Rax Pants from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.489588

Who decided what pen colors were professional? Do you have any advice for stage fright? If you dropped something in a hole drilled all the way through earth, where would it end up?

312: Chonkadees from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.487819

What luggage should I buy? How do I arrange to be fossilized after my death? How do we know the universe is expanding?

319: The Bug & Shrimp Wordle Hour from 2022-02-22T12:35:10.475438

What would happen if we carbonated the ocean? How do I be less competitive? Is the Library of Congress an actual library?

321: Chicken Yoga (w/ Chelsea Fagan!) from 2022-02-21T12:00

Should I work for a company that doesn't align with my values? Where do millionaires keep their money? What dinosaur had the most delicious eggs?

320: Fried A from 2022-02-14T12:00

Do we really need leap days? How do I explain mortality to people who question my flowers? Do my cells have families and sentience?

318: Opposing Squirrel Vibes from 2022-01-31T12:00

Why isn't space hot? How big would a city have to be to hold everybody? How do I get my parents to ease up?

317: The Sleepy Holler Hanna Banjo Band from 2022-01-24T12:00

Where should I practice the banjo? Why am I allowed to walk up to Starry Night? Why doesn't gum stick to teeth?

316: The Lovecraftian Squirrel Situation from 2022-01-17T12:00

Why do spoons flip reflections on one side? How do we know the Northern Hemisphere is on top? What's the closest flammable planet?

315: Orlampa Raxerati from 2021-12-27T12:00

How would you like to be bronzed? How did 2021 go? Where's the Complexly logo exit?

314: The Ultimate Week in Ryans (w/Ryan Reynolds!) from 2021-12-20T12:00

Can I return to a coffee shop if I forgot sugar and cream? Why is Ryan Reynolds on today's podcast? How do I explain that the Ryan Reynolds I married is not today's guest?

313: I Will Not Engage from 2021-12-13T12:00

Why are American English classes so intent on finding meaning? How would sound work through Gabriel's Horn? Does nobody really like you when you're 23?

311: Confurious (w/ Deboki Chakravarti!) from 2021-11-15T12:00

Could we clone a neanderthal today? Would I get sick if I ate the Mona Lisa? What is the skin of your teeth?

308: No More Dongles from 2021-10-25T12:00

Wouldn't it be easier to genetically engineer a martian than terraform Mars? How do mirrors represent distance? Should I wear my Pizza John mask to jury duty?

307: Snizza John from 2021-10-11T12:00

What can a license plate tell you? Which person is the piggy in the piggy back ride? Can non-cherry fruits be maraschinoed?

305: No Manholes Allowed from 2021-09-27T12:00

How fast to you have to be to follow the sunset? Should a three-headed dog have three names? Why do car speedometers go so high?

304: Snotty Little Crapburger from 2021-09-20T12:00

How do I bail on a high school I never attended? Should I attend my high school's do-over prom? How does gravity affect lemon men?

302: Please, Your Reimbursement Here from 2021-08-30T12:00

What's less scared of us than we are of it? Why do spammers call me Cameron? How do I reply to a friend with a tenuous grasp Can my glasses burn my eyes like a magnifying glass?

301: Super Humble Spy Brothers from 2021-08-23T12:00

Why do people say good things humble them? How do I work at a sandwich shop? What is a homeroom?

300: Robocalling Ryans from 2021-08-16T12:00

What's the easiest way to look like you're working? What is storm oil? When do I have to start answering calls from numbers I don't know?

297: The Mariko Aoki Brothers from 2021-07-12T12:00

Why do some books tell you what font they use? What's up with temporary moons? Why do book stores smell like book stores?

295: Have I Got Some Roaches For You from 2021-06-28T12:00

Can your tongue get swole? Why do we call dog arms legs? What would an inconvenience store sell?

294: We Messed Up, So Let's Talk Crash Course! from 2021-06-21T12:00

How can I support the creation of free educational content? Go to crashcoursecoin.com to find out more!

293: A Fiction of Light from 2021-06-14T12:00

When do you change the hair color on your ID? Why is Venus hotter than Mercury? What do I do with peed-on lettuce?

292: AlienzBop from 2021-05-31T12:00

What are mausoleums for? What's the best gift for aliens? Who coined the phrase "coined a phrase"?

291: The Dear Hank Letter from 2021-05-23T12:00

Is the crust the healthiest part of bread? What would a Dear Hank letter be? Am I allergic to Mars?

290: Independent Elmer Experts from 2021-05-17T12:00

Which side of the bagel is better? Who decides when Easter happens? Who decides anything, really? Is it normal to sneeze?

289: No Moon Chickens from 2021-05-10T12:00

Why are crisp packet wrappers so noisy? What's between your organs? Are Martian sunsets really blue?

287: The AFC Wimbledon & Mars Spectacular from 2021-04-26T12:00

What happened on Mars this week? What's AFC Wimbledon up to?

286: A Number Likely to Go Up from 2021-04-19T12:00

When should I get a vase? What happens when a cemetery goes bankrupt? Why aren't there spicy animals?

285: A Pill Meant for Horses from 2021-04-12T12:00

Is it okay to ask people for their discarded tree branches? How long should the vaccine need to be in my system before a whale can eat my arm? How do they get all that medicine in such a small pill?

283: Nightmare Antz (w/ Ashley C. Ford!) from 2021-03-29T12:00

How do I tell my mom her breath is bad? Was it okay to email my doctor? Can a fetus yawn?

282: The Silly Brothers from 2021-03-22T12:00

Who writes author bios in the back of books? Why do things burn up when entering the atmosphere but not exiting it? Can you make a cake?

281: Reverse Photon Farts from 2021-03-15T12:00

Would Earth bounce if you shrank it? How do pupils dilate? What is tape made of?

278: Popeulation Density from 2021-02-15T12:00

Can a whale use a snorkel? How many popes per square mile does the Vatican have? Is artificial gravity possible?

52: We Are in This Together from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Will my laptop sterilize me? Do you like (or write) fanfiction? Where is the rest of the lizard whose tail I found in my room? And more!

51: Weird/Bad Dancefighting from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What are nerdfighters fighting? How do I learn to enjoy physical activity? How do I stop talking about Mars in my sleep? And more!

50: Things Are Like Other Things from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why isn't John on Hank's Top 8 on MySpace? What is the correct way to eat an Oreo? Is my can opener a sign that I've entered an alternate universe? And more!

49: Not Not an Adult (w/ Sydney Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you define adulthood? Is it slice of pizza or piece of pizza? How do I reclaim my armrest when I'm in the middle seat? And more!

48: Pizza John Priorities from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is Pizza John inherently unsexy? Should I court familial disaster? Where else can I seek dubious advice? And more! AFC update tag music is 'News Sting' by Kevin MacLeod. http://incompetech...

47: You're Gonna Be Okay from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I mourn a mug? What if it had been Vlogsisters instead of Vlogbrothers? How do I navigate roommatedom? And more!

46: Brotherhood 3.0 from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why is a minor injury more painful to me than literal childbirth? How do I get myself a surprise party? And more!

45: Not Knowing from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I feel guilty about liking Hamilton? Why aren't we talking about our impending death by Yellowstone? Should I be saving all my burrito money for the economic apocalypse? And more! Listen

44: A Life Sandwich from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I find joy when my main source of it has been taken away? How do I deal with my unfortunate name, which is not Ryan? How do I handle compliments? How do I deal with over-the-top lau...

43: Gotta Be Kitten from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do people put up with banana opportunity cost? How do I deal with bird attacks? Chemtrails: what's up with them? And more!

42: Mayonnaise Malaise from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Am I making unethical sandwich decisions? Am I a sucker for not cheating in school? Do we need drive-thru reform? Why do farts smell worse in the shower? And more!

41: In the Absence of Toes from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Have we checked in on the bees? What would happen if you lost your big toe? How do you stir hot cocoa efficiently? And more!

40: Almost Distressingly Good Advice from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How Canadian am I, really? How should I unpack? How do I reconcile my ideals with my actions? And more!

39: Feelings Are All Right (with Katherine Green) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I overcome pizza betrayal? What's the deal with sesame seeds? How do I solve my sibling ball crisis? What do I do in Montana? How do I deal with my driving anxiety? And more!...

38: The Smelling in Your Dwelling from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why don't bugs die when we flick them? Why do we talk the way we do? What's the deal with dollars in movies? How much would it cost to buy the world a coke? And more!

37: The Floridiest Place from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you reattach John's head? Why aren't supreme court justices chosen more efficiently? How do you hug? Does Mars have seasons? Why don't people eat grass like cows?

36: Grief Is Super Weird from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is there a secret planet opposite ours? Is strawberry flavor fooling us all? How can we be better listeners? Why do people ghost other people?

35: Should I Get Baptized if I Don't Believe? from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Am I Lisa Turtle or Screech? What would happen to lava on the sun? After blowing ones nose, why does one look into the Kleenex? Coconuts are hairy an make milk, are they mammals? When does...

34: YouTube Freaky Friday from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can I eat expired Mac N Cheese? What would you do if you only had 300 subscribers on YouTube? Is a kitty on my lap an excuse for tardiness? What if you dumped the sun into a massive MASSIV...

33: Putting Water in Cereal?! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do we fall for clickbait? Why do smells become normal? Why do we call aluminum foil "tin foil?" Why do people always ask where I'm from? My name is boring! Are four-sided bananas safe ...

32: Broccoli-Flavored Chocolate from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can create fresh water by boiling the sea with a giant magnifying glass? Is suffering necessary for us to appreciate the beauty in life? What about asteroids and super-volcanos! Should a h...

31: Breakin' the Law (and Being Good.) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I give up on my dreams of changing the world? Is mayonnaise an instrument? Why are DVD cases not squares? Can you burn a cucumber? Does the moon have Earth eclipses? Do you have ano...

30: Ending the Hiaaeetus! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do you do when your couple friends stop hanging with single you? Should we imagine evil people complexly? Could you light Saturn on fire? How long could humans survive only eating hum...

29: Barbershop Genghis from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Do you need to be a Patreon supporter to get your question answered? How do I make my partner comfortable at his first Christmas with my family? Why are mini-M&Ms better than the regul...

28: John's Top Ten Probable Apocalypse List from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why are there no feral cows? What are you looking at? Should you say "Bless You" when someone coughs? What would happen if the magnetic poles reversed? How do I keep my nerves from getting...

27: Giving Gifts without Breaking the Bank from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Did we discover the periodic table, or did we invent it? How do you start running a business with friends? How would one go about crashing the moon into the Earth? Is an emoji a word? And ...

26: Should I Make Out with My Roommate? from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I choose an ethical engagement ring? There's a wasp trapped in my dorm room! How do I know which arm rest is mine at the movie theater? And a question about grammar...from our fathe...

25: LIVE IN NEW YORK it's NARS MEWS! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why are we so obsessed with zombies? What do you do if your dentist tries to talk to you when you obviously can't talk? How do beat my girlfriend's gift skills? Should I try to re-kindle a...

24: The Great Finger Licking Debate from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you learn new things as an adult? Oral surgery advice? Worrying about hexagons and etc!

23: OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do different trees change color at different times? What if a friend isn't creating their creative work that you love? Some advice for job and scholarship interviews. How do I express ...

22: Post-Menopausal Cousin Marriage from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How should toilet paper be dispensed? Help! My fingers are glued together! If you hover a helicopter in the same place for 24 hours, why don't you travel around the earth? What food weird ...

265: The Kazoo Came First from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

264: The Opposite of a Trophy from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

263: Before the Acorns from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can you really fly close enough to the sun to melt wax wings? Why does it take a minute for hot water to come out of the tap? Where are non-binary people from? Why shouldn't I eat grass? Do Amer...

262: The Old Ramen Factory (Live in Carmel, IN!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What's up with roundabouts? What should my former foster grandpa name be? What are your weirdest stress coping mechanisms? What's your absurd dream scent? What are your favourite non-touristy pl...

261: Not Pastable from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why is fire shaped like fire? What Halloween costumes work with a mask? Why do dumpsters all smell the same? How do I stop getting voting ads now that I've decided to vote? Will humans someday r...

260: His One Loamy Weakness from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do superheroes fly with their arms out in front? Were my college expectations way off? Could we use space travel to look at dinosaurs? Should I feel bad about moderating my comment sections?...

259: Infinite Bird from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Could the pandemic wipe out lice? What's up with the "birds aren't real" conspiracy theory? Do you think this will be over by the end of the year? What would human pet food taste like? Are birds...

258: A Really Old Cheetah from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Will it be safe for my roommate's rabbit to be on TV next spring? What do I pack for an evacuation? Did people make paper planes before the Wright Brothers? What's the website you mentioned that...

257: There Eye Am (w/ Taha Khan at VidCon London!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do different animals make such different noises? What's the deal with Fahrenheit? How do I not invite all my friends to a gathering? Why is my hair darker when it's wet but not underwater? I...

256: A Lonely Road (w/Jacob Goldstein!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is money? How do you not look suspicious when you find $60,000? How do I tell my friend I'm uncomfortable hearing brag about their salary? What do I do now that I accidentally turned my boy...

255: Hello, Mr. & Mr. Green from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is "other" on my phone's storage? How do I handle my life being thrown off track? What's the policy on renaming a fostered fish? Are mushrooms a vegetable? How do I smile from behind a mask...

254: It Ain't Easy Being Green Bunnies from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do eels reproduce? Why isn't there green fur in nature? Is small talk a betrayal? Where do rights come from? What do I do about a late birthday present? What's the name of our solar system? ...

253: Tensor Tympani Work With Me from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How much paint does it take to make a room smaller? Why can't we hear when we yawn? Are we always expanding the same way the universe is? Why does gatekeeping happen? Why is there an L on a hill...

252: A Comedy Podcast About Chemical Equilibrium from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I handle my fear of megacryometeors? Why do bugs like lights so much? Where is John's Edgar Allen Poe bust? How do I stay productive while recovering from surgery? Would fireworks work in...

251: 5 Seconds is 1 Mile from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where should I be during a phone interview? Do other animals get sick as often as humans do? What's the time/distance correlation between lightning and thunder? What's a rehearsal dinner? What d...

250: Carl Yastrzemski's Business School from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I live the dream of not having a job? What's the history of mouth cleaning? Do authors get to choose the font of their books? Why are piggy banks shaped like pigs? How do you feel about s...

249: The Liverbird in the Room (Live at VidCon Now!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Any life advice for a recent college graduate? If you put milk in a bowl of croutons, is that dinner cereal? How do I stay motivated to create? What have you learned about yourselves or each oth...

248: Nature's Solar Panels from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you greet multiple friends in different time zones? What are some other card games that scratch the same itch as Uno? Could I swim in the water table like a lake? Can I photosynthesize li...

247: Lobster Dream Hands from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I learn to dance? Why do shirts have tags? Have you ever published a book under a pen name? Where did air quotes come from? How do you answer the phone at 2 AM? Should I be worried about ...

246: A Hard Wet Sponge from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What are some socially distant birthday strategies? Why do we refer to things as bone dry? Do all microwaves rotate in the same direction? Why haven't we cured cancer? Can I appropriate abandone...

245: We Are Held Together by Sunlight from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What happens to viruses when they die? Is it possible to separate the art from the artist? Why did you guys talk about Al Gore so much in 2007? How do you retrain your brain? How do I feel confi...

244: screamingfrog.mp3 from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What could be in an audio file labeled "screaming frog"? Do you write with timelines in mind? What do I do with my grandma's fruitcake? Where do I get a bunch of mosquitos? Do Americans just wal...

243: Either 8½ or 68 Million from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I help my mom manage her depression? How do I address a professor who signs their emails with initials? What size boot is Italy? What is the most seen you've ever felt by a piece of ficti...

242: I Was Dunking a Basketball (Live in Atlanta, GA!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I show non-consumerist appreciation for my mom? Is it better to be sticky or slippery? What's your favorite chair? How do you get used to living in the cold? How do I deal with having an ...

241: An Exhaustive & Exhausting Study from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I wrangle a lot of crickets? How do I spend less time looking at screens? Is a paperback version of a new book worth the wait? What do I keep having recurring dreams about Nicolas Cage be...

240: Mail Order Memes from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How does the ozone layer relate to climate change? How can I communicate with my phoneless best friend? How many ants would it take to carry a human? Can I drink 4-year-old soda? John Gree...

239: Does This Have Walnuts or Pecans? from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I connect with my siblings? Why do some cereals falsely claim nuts? Is it okay to call a professor by their first name? Are coffee machines a kitchen necessity? How do I format a scholars...

238: The Meteor Men from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why don't people paint their houses black? How do I deal with loneliness? What are some good triplet pranks? What are the Google Street View must-see attractions? What's up with money? How much ...

237: A Well-Balanced Breakfast from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why have I become nocturnal? How do I write in a book? Where does the phrase "the high seas" come from? Which fruits are breakfast fruits? How do I help my mom appreciate art? How do I deal with...

236: Connoisseurs of Our Own Embarrassments from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I stop being embarrassed by mail? How do I edit my grandpa's book? Is it selfish to cry on your birthday? How do I live in a place with bugs? What is something that took you an embarrassi...

235: Do Duck Stuff While Ye May from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What happens to ducks when they die? Have you written your will? Why are things blurry even when my face is close to the mirror? What should I grow in my garden? What should I learn about? Can I...

234: I Know About Drowsy, Too, Buddy from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are the astronauts stuck on the space station right now? What crafts or books can I use to pass the time? Will books still come out on schedule? How do I paint something other than animals in dr...

233: The Adventures of Yukon John and Glass Foot Hank (w/ Dr. Aaron Carroll!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I convince my parents to take social isolation seriously? Can I social distance from the same room? How can I get to know my new town while social distancing? Are squirrels real? Should I...

232: The Construction Paper Diploma from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I entertain myself during a quarantine? Where is the center of the universe? Why are the letters on a phone keypad upside down from a keyboard numberpad? Should I stop talking to my frien...

231: Bouquet Trebuchet (Live in Raleigh, NC!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Have you ever added a strange fact to a book? How does a teacher inspire their students? How do I figure out if NASA has aliens? Do lobsters feel pain? How do I focus on one book at a time? How ...

230: The Hot Love of Angry Pigeons from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I stop losing forks? How do I handle my cat's internet fame? What's your favorite bird? How do I quit my job? What do I do when my job runs out of pasta? Why do some chairs have butt groo...

229: You Don't Know When the Sickness Is Coming (w/ Sarah Urist Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I go to a concert if my recent ex will be there? How do book blurbs work? Can a two-person book club even function? How do I become a better writer? How do I entertain myself while stuck ...

228: You Say Banana, I Say Banana (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I cope with my unrequited love for Timothée Chalamet? Why have I started exclusively reading non-fiction? How can I both support and express concern for my mom's world-class Candy Crush s...

227: One-Star Statue Reviews from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where do I start with Star Trek? Where does water go when I turn the faucet off? Why does my nose produce more snot when I cry? Should I ask permission before I sharpen my roommate's knives? How...

226: It Is the Monkey from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How close is the sky to the ground? How do you keep the words that captivate you from slipping away? Is it okay to have doubts on the day of your wedding? Could I keep my spouse's calcified hear...

225: It’s a Hit and They Get Kicked (Live From St. Petersburg, FL!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How can I find time to do all the things? If I smack someone with my lower limb prosthetic, am I kicking them? What is the oddest combination of food you’ve seen someone eating? What if I ...

224: The Octopuscene from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? When does the Anthropocene end? How do I get...

223: All at Once for Everyone from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What hobbies should I take up while my feet are broken? What would you like to come back as in your next life? Am I "just a teacher"? What is the proper response to a cheese burglar? What should...

222: Just a Man Who’s Lost His Dongle from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do with my art money? What do you do if you miss a flight? Are gas giants just tiny planets with big atmospheres? Why does my brain release endorphi...

221: Favorites of the 2010s from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

In this special episode of the pod, John Green and Hank Green discuss their favorites of the past decade! Topics include:

Favorite bookFavorite poemFavorite dad jokeFavorite TV showFavor...
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220: Haunted Christmas Trees from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is it okay to go to your old house and ask if you can walk through it? How do you research? How do you interject in conversations smoothly? Can you unpickle a pickle? What should my rice c...

219: How to Become Part Crow from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the proper reaction to a canceled Shawn Mendes concert? When should I wear my fancy diamond gold pretzel necklace? What am I supposed to do with the urn my dog's ashes were in? Why do ha...

218: Hank & John's Airport Stories from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why shouldn't I take my temperature after I eat? Will my fingerprint grow back? How will COPPA affect Crash Course? Can my bottle of frozen water get through TSA? At what age are you supposed to...

217: Rocks to Earth 2028! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can stinging insects sting other insects? What is the scientific difference between stuffy and fresh air? Why aren't there many books about twenty-somethings? When did limos become uncool? How d...

216: Zombie Turtle Party from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do we say “head over heels”? What should I wear to a Mountain Goats concert? What is the best thing that happened during the 2010s? Do airplanes have horns? What is my boyfriend’s inte...

215: The Big Card from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is it acceptable to put sugar on cottage cheese? Can a Ravenclaw wear Slytherin merch? How do I stop stressing about stress? How do we know what's at the center of the Earth? Should British peop...

214: Crime Dentures from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I make a film for dental school? What if my anglerfish doesn’t match my room decor? What should I do with a bag full of 1500 pictures of pregnant Harry Styles? Do I need to talk to ...

213: Baddy One Shoe from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why don't we sink in sand? How do I not freak out about all the time I'm wasting? Do naughty people only wear one shoe? Why do microwaves rotate food? Am I up or down f...

212: The Billionaire Cactus Ghost from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What can I do with my cactus costume? What do you do when people you don't know recognize you? Why are all the ghosts so old? Where do grownups keep their potatoes? Are there ghosts on Mars? How...

211: You Can Tik Whatever You Can Tok, Baby (Live from VidCon Australia w/ Zach Kornfeld!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the least dumb way to ask someone out? What’s your strategy for winning Seven Wonders? How did you start from nothing? If you can portray any celebrity in a biopic who would it be?...

210: Chest Moose Tattoo (w/ SciShow Tangents!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What's going on with microbes? What happens when an astronaut sneezes in space? Why do we have toes? Should I dress fancier? Why aren’t there drones on Mars? Do you get lighter every time ...

209: Sword Dabbing (Live from Minneapolis, MN!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How should I invest to survive a financial downturn? How often do I really need to change my underwear? Am I a bag? How do help seventh graders? Should we think about the 2D world? What ar...

208: Speedo Minotaur Guy (Live from Madison, WI!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why is my instinct to hug my dogs too hard? If you had to move to Sesame Street, who would you want to be your neighbor? How do you know when the story you've written is done? Why was Halley's C...

207: The Still Escalators of Doom from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why are unmoving escalators so disconcerting? What do I do about the plant that died while I was house sitting? What should I tell people who think I'm moving to the worst place in ...

206: If You Can't Put Your Mouth There... (with Andrew Levitt AKA Nina West!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How should I act around my professor who is also my peer? Do the knobs on toasters control heat or time? How do I not get matching tattoos with my mom? Do you ever think about where all yo...

205: Piggy Bank Toughness from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I call this strange number back? What have I missed on the pod? Why are your faves your faves? Don't you need more than lemons for lemonade? How do I get the money out of this coin bank? ...

204: Quiet, Subdued, and Possibly Illicit from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I make this flesh-eating bacteria sound safe? How do I tell my housemate not to get a crockpot? Am I as unlikeable as the character I wrote? Does my friend live with a ghost?...

203: Joy, Attention, Justice, Hips Don't Lie from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do I do with 15 pounds of cornbread? Where do song lyrics live in our brains? Why are we here? How did people get answers before Google? How often should I vacuum? Do wedding pianists get a...

202: Pants Clone from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where are the natural wheels? How do I make a conspiracy theorist understand that space exists? What are SEO tools? Should we market climate change better? Why are car horns so primitive? How do...

201: Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln 2020 from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? How can I not be a sobbing mess on my wedd...

200: Only If You Got Enough Life Jackets from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the setup for this joke? What's with people waving from boats? Why don't cartoons change their outfits? How do I tell someone I’ll be back but not RIGHT back? What is your self-car...

199: The Best of Dear Hank & John #2! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Over the last couple years, John and Hank have bestowed upon the world some true gems of advice and anecdotes. We compiled some favorites in one episode for you to enjoy!

We'll be back wi...

198: No Ticket Out from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What's with birthday cake flavor? How do we know where we are in space? Are we the last generation of humans? Is it safe to shower when the power is out? Can I be a dyslexic nerdfighter? W...

197: It's All About Empowerment! (w/ Jenny Owen Youngs!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I promote myself? Are museums better explored individually or as a group? What should I do with memorabilia I don't intend to display? What do I do when someone's in my seat? How should S...

196: There Is Nothing You Are Not from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How did they decide doorbells should go ding dong? How do I get my coworkers out of my personal life? Why does Hank have button-up jeans? How do you not worry that everything you write has been ...

195: Fun with Bob and John! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do with all these keys? How do I unrecommend a raunchy novel to my grandma? What's a good psychology team name? What is the most effective way to pull an all-nighter? What should I...

194: Fortunately, They Are Not Carnivores from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I advance past the waving stage of acquaintanceship? What does one do at conferences? My friend based a character off of me but the character sucks? How do I get in my house if I'm ...

193: It's Like a Pool of Liver! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do I cry more easily as I get older? What is SPF? What are healthy methods to combat loneliness? What should I do if I busted a hole in the wall while bonding with my sibl...

192: Raised on a Yacht (w/ Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft joins Hank to answer your questions! Has it ever not been raining? Can I change my major if I have a scholarship...

191: The Engagement Duck from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the dress code if there is no dress code? Where can I be anxious at work? What should I do with 72 tall vases? How can I avoid having to do dishes? How can I grow my own vegetables...

190: The Top Three Best Things About Sneezing Underwater from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I get people to remember who I am? What do I do about the Red Bull I spilled in a kid's backpack? How do I deal with my girlfriend's unaccepting parents? Does cold water boil faster...

189: Weird Statistics from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Do a lot of people swerve? What constitutes black coffee? How do I make mac and cheese if I don't have milk? What is the rage/luck relationship when it comes to pennies? How do I find out my the...

188: The Imperial Bridal March from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the proper thing to do with abandoned table beer? What's the best way to spend time on trains? How do I move on when my favorite show ends? How do I sleep in without waking up with...

187: The Uncle Mike Way of Life from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I fairly distribute my hugs? Could black holes suck up the Earth? How do I change the way I walk? How can I support my stressed-out dad? What's the best way to receive negative perf...

186: The Morlon Wiley Way In from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What's the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more!

Get your signed desk sword!!!...

185: Time-Traveling Battle Axes from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more!

Follow us on Twitter! Listen

184: Lady with the Time Piece (w/ Helen Zaltzman!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel's social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surgery? And more!

...

183: John's Subway Safety Procedures from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And more!

Follow us on Tw...

182: It’s All Hermeneutics to Me from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What's going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more!

Follow us on Twitter! Listen

181: Comforting Existential Crises (w/ Jana Hisham!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more!

Check out Jana's YouTube cha...

180: The Bird Thunderdome (w/ Katherine Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more!

You can listen to more Hank & Katherine i...

179: The Queen's Dream Job (w/ Danielle Bainbridge!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more!

Keep learning from ...

178: Snack Man! (Live at PodCon!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can't get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more!

This episode was recorded live at...

177: Gum Influencers from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more!

If you're...

176: The Celebrity Life Coaches of Your Dreams from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gma...

175: Burn It All!!!! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don't know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more!

If you're in need of ...

174: The Mysterious "Stolen" Car from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advi...

173: My Ghost Date, Timothy from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.co...

172: Get in Touch with Your Glitter Side from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, em...

171: Our Pasta-Making Robot Overlords from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more!

If you're in need of dubi...

170: You Can Trust Us, We're Aliens from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more!

If you're ...

169: A Perpetual Christmas Civilization That Orbits the Sun from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do we put people on pedestals? How can I get better at mornings? What should I hide under the floorboards? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us a...

168: All of Them, Including LinkedIn from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where did all the websites go? How do you solve a problem like Maria? What's my brand? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!...

167: A Song Called Shhh from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? And more!

There are...

166: Do Not Enter the Secret Room from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why are human babies so useless? What's with Ohio's salad crackers? Why can't I use an umbrella in the snow? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at ...

165: We're Gonna Make It from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What would it feel like to be microwaved? How do I get my dad to chill on Facebook? How do I confront my roommate about the ferret oatmeal baths? And more!

If you're in...

164: The Kurt Vonnegut Special from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How much money should I ask for? How do I talk to my crush? Will climate change make mountains shorter? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hanka...

163: A Man's Man's Guide to Potassium from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I convince my boyfriend not to grow a mullet? What do I do with this small, hot towel? Should I destroy my sad friend in Words with Friends? John and Hank have answers to this and more! Listen

Hello from Hank and John! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

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162: The Fault in Our Mars from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What tricks can babies do? Should I become a space lawyer? Did I let a guy steal my car? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com<...

161: Your Dabbing Uncle Hank from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

At what point do I fail? What should I do while I'm waiting to be sawed in half? Should I eat the fungus? And more!

Email us: hankandjo...

160: You Are Not My Bus from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where should I look when I'm talking to someone? Will aliens ride our roller coasters when we're all dead? Should guests help do the dishes? And more!

Email us: Listen

159: The Horrifying Five-Tined Fork from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I get out of this maze? What do I do with this cello? When will I stop having to call my mom to help me figure out life? And more!

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158: President Alligator from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do people hate raisins? Is U2 a boy band? How do I make friends with the people I work with? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail....

157: It's My Soundtrack! (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I treasure my books more? Can I learn to sleep standing up like a horse? Does everyone have an eighties disco playing in their head? And more!

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156: There Is a Diversity of Opinions Among the People Who Drive This Car from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How can I avoid having to dress up for Halloween? What do you do when your friends make fun of your friend? How do I artfully display my rib? And more!

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155: Drunk Fruit Squirrels from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can I wear my Tuesday shirt on other days? How do I give advice that doesn't hurt feelings but is still helpful? Did I steal this plant? And more!

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154: You're Doing Great (w/ Tessa Violet!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do I do when I'm asked to lie to children? Should I tell my boss I'm obsessed with her famous son? Why is Dodie so much better at stuff than I am? And more!

Check out Tessa on ...

153: Perfectly Normal Art Projects (w/ Sarah Urist Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can I use being an artist as an excuse for being weird? How do museum benches work? What is the best advice a parent can give their child? And more!

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152: Thank You, Hot Fries!! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are we living in a simulation? Are there other types of teeth? What should I do with this bowl? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.c...

151: Dapper Dudes from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I tell my boyfriend he's beautiful? Can I talk to my cousin's ex? How do I figure out my music taste? And more!

Email us: hankan...

150: Spicy Limes from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do with this tooth? How do I keep a secret? How do I get out of the shadow of my parents’ triumphs? And more!

Email us: <...

149: Let's Be Mermaids from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where would you put an extra eye? How do I survive at home alone? Why is underwear a pair? And more!

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148: Hiding Nuts from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why is there no $25 bill? What happens to a person’s consciousness when they're teleported? What does space smell like? And more!

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147: Celebrities on a Plane from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I tell my boyfriend he has a fandom? What do you do in a non-reciprocal high five situation? Why are football scarves so short? And more!

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146: Skate with Snakes from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more!

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145: Wait to Panic from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do with the ends of bread? How do you know when you get to the end of the galaxy? How did they livestream the lunar landing? And more!

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144: Great, Robust Berries (w/ Jenny Lawson!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is your innocuous life curse? What should I read when I've outgrown YA? How do I survive without my coping mechanism? And more!

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143: Eleven Peas from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are there any good billionaires? How do I get better at contracts? What are the rules of doctor-patient small talk? And more!

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142: Don't Harsh on My Yums from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do people like ant colonies? What do I do about customers who come in right before close? Where do bugs go when it rains? And more!

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141: Gretel's Instagram Regrets (w/ How to ADHD!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Am I accidentally a horrible person? What should I do with 1,000 business cards? How do I not break my grandmother's heart? And more!

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140: The Spoon in the Road from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How often should I try new food places? How do you break up with someone without crushing them? What's the best way to greet a new neighbor? And more!

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139: What If the Moon Was One of Us from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I spend my birthday money on? Is hope a dinosaur? What do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth? And more!

Email us: hanka...

138: Snappy the T. rex from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Do dead bodies get sunburned? How do you science a baby? Who were the first fans? And more!

Take our survey! Your feedback helps us out a lot: Listen

137: Manhole & Me from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why am I in Seattle? Why are bricks stacked that way in walls? Is nihilism hilarious? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

136: Wake Up Canadian from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I wear to Hamilton? If you work a four-day week, do you still get a hump day? Are books a distorted mirror? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Listen

135: Danger Noodles and Little Boops (w/ Emily Graslie!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you throw away a trash can? Which animals have the most awkward adolescent phase? Are humans an invasive species? And more!

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134: The Millennial Avocadome from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are rocks actually soft? What are Pop-Tarts? My boyfriend's ex is dating my ex??? And more!

133: Fork Bouquet from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should I do with all these plastic forks? At what age do you grow out of regret? Do ants sleep? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gm...

132: Schrödinger's Floor from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do we need constant mental stimuli? How do I clean my room? Can I still be friends with my ex's family? And more!

Email us: hankand...

131: Space War Fears from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I handle the surprise baby hamsters? Can I take things from someone else's shopping cart? Are we all gonna die in a space war? And more!

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130: The LaCroix Boix from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How much sand is there? How do I unfriend the murder? How does one finance baby? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

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129: The Worst Guest Books from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Am I not invited to my aunt's wedding? Do I tell my friend I clogged their toilet? Is there an Olympic Hall of Urine? And more!

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128: AARTcoin from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are hitchhiker ants okay? How do I tell my parents I want to study economics? Who is responsible for calling back after a dropped call? And more!

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127: How to Befriend a Crow from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I follow my dreams of having strange animal friends? What would happen if I pee in this humidifier? Is it disrespectful to look at someone while they yawn? And more!

Email us: Listen

126: The Space Alien Orange Peel Health Craze from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I spend prom at Target or break up my friends? How does Legolas never run out of arrows? What would happen if all plants ceased to exist? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com p...

125: Book Hangovers (w/ Sarah Urist Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do people love reading when it hurts? How do you make friends in art class? How do you proceed after accidentally slow dancing with someone? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com p...

124: Liars and Litterers and Thieves from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can I hoard stolen goods? How do I make sure I don't become a racist? How do I get cookies? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Hank's book is available f...

123: The Incredible Glamorous Hulk from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do fish get into lakes? How do I stay aware of things without giving them views? Do aliens communicate with sign language? And more! Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! A...

122: The Last Brand Deal from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Am I too young to be self-supervised? Can I throw away my dead grandmother's sponges? How do I make a personal retirement PowerPoint for Rick? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com pat...

121: Every Plum Has Its Thorn from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the point of love if it always ends? How do I scream? How do I stop a surprise avian ring delivery? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

120: Snake Cuddle Time from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I memorize all the birds? Should I join the Navy? How do you eat trail mix? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

119: Water Is Dry (w/ Greg Miller!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why don't I have a lifelong friend? How can I become ruler of everyone with my name? What are snails trying to flee?? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn<...

118: Heavy Baby Bib! (w/ Alex Goldman!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What counts as significant change? How do you know who you're supposed to buy presents for? Is it weird to let someone know you're thinking of them? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.c...

117: Lightsaber Your Tiny House (w/ Katherine Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do you do with cereal dust? What happens if kid doesn't like dog? How did cave people cut their fingernails? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Listen

116: Do Not Enter the Craft Fort! (w/ Caitlin Hofmeister!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you surprise loved ones in small apartments? What is the line between archaeology and grave robbing? What is the appropriate time to get into the Christmas season? And more! Email u...

115: Semi-Immortal 35-Year-Olds on Mars from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is the smallest part of the body you can be a doctor in? Why do we rub our eyes when we're tired? How do I turn my imagination off long enough to sleep? And more! Email us: hankandjoh...

114: Confused About Batman from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Over the last month, Hank and John have been on the road going to cities all across America. Every stop, they did a short episode of Dear Hank and John, and some of those got recorded. The...

113: Aardvarks with Guns from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven't our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Listen

112: Toaster Is a Wolf to Dog from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you're sitting one day? Does saying "I love you" eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dear...

111: Omagles All the Way Down from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I get in on my neighbor's cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who's responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreo...

110: One and Less Extra Bone from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon...

109: The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankdandjohn

108: We Would All Be Flounders from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail....

107: skREvEL! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: http://www.turtlesallthewa...

106: Cannibal Mermaids from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankan...

105: Fancy Diving from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Listen

104: Dove Quivering from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for a cat birthday party? And more! Get 10...

103: There Are No Boxes (w/ Gaby Dunn!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is a mug without a handle? When's the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I'm not ready? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Listen

102: The Friend Bucket from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmai...

101: Knit like a Mofo from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What would happen if all mosquitoes die? What do I do about my surprise YouTube celebrity boyfriend? What's the truth about John Lennon's "Imagine"? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.c...

100th Episode Extravaganza Spectacular!!! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! probablysignedturtles.com Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

99: A Fusing of the Hair from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do I do if my spouse wants to shave his head? Why are there birds at the airport? What if I'm not as well read as my boyfriend? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/d...

98: An Army of Burrito Children (w/ Dodie Clark!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do you deal with the dissipation of your future plans? Should I tell my parents I met my boyfriend on Tinder? How do I succeed if I'm not a go-getter? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@g...

97: Lemon Salty Whales from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

When should I introduce my kid to Star Wars? Can I dislike parts of my life even though I have privilege? How did humans start swimming? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.c...

96: Next Level Laziness from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

If you put in work to be lazy, is it still laziness? Does Lin Manuel Miranda listen to Hamilton for funzies? At what point are you supposed to put water on a toothbrush? And more! Email us...

95: Lawn Care Vigilantism from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should my fun fact about me be? How do Christians and non-Christians get along? Am I too old to listen to this podcast? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhanka...

94: Pocket Conspiracy Theories (w/ Matthew Gaydos!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is Hank a reptilian-human hybrid? How do I grieve and also be there for my students? What do you do when you do something terrible by accident? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com pa...

93: Nothing Fits on a Bumper Sticker from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can a writer mess with science for poetic purposes? If you enjoy Narnia, would you enjoy The Fountainhead? Is there a right social construct to teach? And more!

92: Cewebrity from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I contact the guy who owns the plane on which I was born? Are art and content different? Does it matter that the guy I'm dating has a six pack while I eat a lot of tacos? And more! ...

91: Everything Is Everything (w/ Mayim Bialik!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dear...

90: Glitter Soul from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are you really in the clear with liquor before beer? Should I embrace the error on my birth certificate? Does it really matter where I go to college? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail....

89: A Rich Guy with an Affinity for Bats from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is Batman a superhero? How do I claim an island as my own? Is there a "no politics" rule in dating? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

88: Hank's Profound Graduation Speech from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why do rich people like golf so much? What color is the sky on Mars? How much do I need to fact-check news before I share it? Where are bird ears??? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.c...

87: The Future Is Gonna Rule from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I develop a cool signature? How do I tell my dad I've been hiding a snake for several months? Is it acceptable to shout advice at strangers? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.co...

86: This Week in Ryans from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Do taller people have bigger organs? Are more expensive clothes actually better? Is there a secular way to say you're "praying" for someone? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com Listen

85: Stay Gold, Potaterson from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What should my motto be? What vegetable is happiness? When is enough really enough? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

84: Live from NerdCon: Nerdfighteria! from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where are all the fireflies? What is "the spark"? Was Alexander Hamilton or Sirius Black a bigger drama queen? And more!

83: There's No Rock and Roll on Mars from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is the Big Bang really a thing? Does the driver or the passenger get to pick the music? What if someone gets pregnant on Mars? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

82: Where There Was Previously Nothing from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How long until everyone is related to Beyoncé? When does parenting stop sucking? How can I help the world without being rich? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com...

81: Always Making Progress Forever from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Can you separate the artist from the work? How do bugs survive microwaves? Will we ever be a perfectly unified planet? And more! Sarah's cookies! https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout...

80: Life Is Hard and Also Has Good Things from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What are the top ten kinds of spoons? Why do boys kiss like dying fish? What would happen if we lost gravity for fifteen seconds? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria...

79: Tiny Useless Pelvises (That Are Still There) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How nice do you have to be at the grocery store? How do we know humans didn't come from Mars? What is sound even? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your...

78: Being Sure from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I stop catfishing someone? How do I not feel embarrassed sharing my writing? Should I DIY my shirt? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questi...

77: Save Us, Giant Octopus from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should you always imagine people complexly? Would constellations be different on Mars? How many trees would you have to plant to offset your carbon footprint? And more!

76: The Best of Dear Hank & John from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

A look back on some of the most memorable moments in the history of the pod! Featuring: Jurassic Mars, Ryan, OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING, John's atrocious cereal eating habits, pumpkins and pen...

75: The Nutrient Coconut Milk of Sin (w/ Katherine Green!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Who does my cat think I am? Is listening to music a waste of time? Should we get a new coconut? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankan...

74: The Kindness Muscle from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I deal with finals stress? What building would you haunt? How do I teach my kid not to bully? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: h...

73: Planes, Trains, and Automosqueals from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do you do if you're lost in the forest? Is Santa subject to trademark laws? Should I take a boring job for money? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email...

72: Planet Dirt (Hank Returns!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Should I tell my mom about my risky plans? What is the tipping point for apocalypse chaos? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: http://www.nerdconnerdfighteria....

71: Only Pause for Applause (w/ Hannah Hart!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Help, I can't tell my roommates apart! What if my relationship has an expiry date? How much reflection should you do after finishing a book? And more!

70: The Rhythmic Thud of the Space Bar (w/ Ashley Ford!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do we move forward post-Election Day? How do you know when/if to have kids? Why does the space bar sound like that? And more!

69: Live from NerdCon: Stories (w/ Karen Hallion!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Who is the foxiest founding father? How do I convince my boyfriend to not go to Mars? Is all my sister's stuff mine now? And more!

68: Gaga in Space (w/ Tyler Oakley!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are quesadillas sandwiches? What is the ideal OK Cupid match percentage? How much of another person's food am I allowed to consume? And more!

67: Feeling Home from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I ghost out of my job? Are bubble baths a hobby or an interest? How do I not feel like a forever foreigner? And more!

66: A Great Bit of Oratory from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I keep enjoying music I enjoyed with an ex? How do I recover from being doused in bull semen? What are my responsibilities when people ask me to watch their stuff? And more!

65: But... You're a Horse from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And more! Listen

64: Really Terrible Scandinavian Geography Lessons from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why won't people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more!

63: World Queen from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more!

62: Pumpkins and Penguins (and Fiddles) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And more! Listen

61: Tiny Acts of Kindness from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more!

60: There Is Almost Always a Future from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it's my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more!

59: Hank's Disaster Preparedness Plan from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to "have a good night" as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more!

58: That's the Science (w/ Flula!) from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more!

57: Og Nomekop from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I organize someone else's books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more!

56: Is It Going to Throw Up? from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more!

55: A Proper Dumpster Fire from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don't we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more!

54: Nerd Punk from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more!

53: The Worst Episode Ever from 2021-01-31T22:10:42.023393

Do fish swim? Is Hank snapchatting? How do I stop my earphones from getting tangled? How do I deal with a job that I hate? And more!

275: What Good Death Quotes from 2021-01-25T12:00

What is the most common name in human history? What's up with epigraphs in books? When does researching become spying?

274: Not and Never Both from 2021-01-18T12:00

Is Benjamin Harrison the exact middle president of the USA? Would a younger version of me be able to open my phone? When did we start counting minutes and seconds?

273: John's Shark Bite from 2021-01-11T12:00

What is John's emergency scale? When do you list someone other than immediate family as an emergency contact? Can planets be other shapes?

272: If It Was A Good Moose from 2020-12-28T12:00

Are Medusa's powers affected by beauty's subjectivity? What are some surprisingly edible things? How do I pet a moose?

271: The Best Pant (Live at VidCon London w/Hannah Witton!) from 2020-12-21T12:00

How do I make new friends? What do I do while someone is saying hi to my dog? Will people of the future have inaccurate fairs about us?

270: Frailty's Pickle from 2020-12-14T12:00

What do I do if I found my Christmas presents? How do I ensure my friend gets my dead hand? Where does the phrase "in a pickle" come from?

267: One From the Archives from 2020-11-24T04:00

How much sand can I take from the beach before it becomes immoral? Are there fossils in space? Where does a pirate accent come from?

266: Doin' My Work, Jerk from 2020-11-16T12:00

What would happen if I found dinosaur bones in my backyard? How do I reply to my boss's strange greeting? Did people roll their eyes in the 1800s?

132: Schrödinger's Floor from 2018-03-19T12:00

Why do we need constant mental stimuli? How do I clean my room? Can I still be friends with my ex's family? And more!
Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com
patreon.com/dearhankandjohn
Thank y...

21: Who Am I? from 2015-10-26T12:00

Halloween costume advice. Does John think people are evil? Misunderstanding Risk. Advice for referees of kids soccer games. Would the Bat Signal actually work? How does the stock market work? And, ...

20: This Episode Contains Puke from 2015-10-19T00:00

Should I cave to my parents and have them at my wedding? Are we just cats? Why does 98 degrees feel hot if that's my body temperature?

19: Should I Abandon My Stuffed Animal? from 2015-10-12T12:00

Should I watch YouTube ads? How do I make friends with my old neighbors? What do I do when my daughter won't sleep because she's always on the internet? When is it worth arguing on the internet?...

17: Meeting Taylor Swift('s parents) from 2015-09-28T12:00

How do I stop projecting onto people? What do you do when you get pigeonholed as "the smart kid"? Is English class valuable? And of course...do you have any advice for new drivers...of course we...

16: Handling Awful Roomates from 2015-09-21T12:00

Hey! Let's talk about Patrick Rothfuss's beard! Also, talking with Nathalie, falling asleep instead of singing, and how to run a press junket. It's a pretty weird and varied episode of Dear Hank...

15: Get That In Your Mouth! from 2015-09-14T06:50

What is art? Should we lower the drinking age? What kind of liquor is the best? Who should I play with on Mario Kart? How do decrease my impact on the environment without money? What do you do w...

13: John and Hank and Wheezy Waiter! from 2015-08-31T12:00

How do you make friends? What's your favorite planet? What would happen if you fell into Jupiter? Is it all downhill from 30? What sports did you play? If you could be a prodigy at any one thing...

12: Tree Climbing Strategies from 2015-08-24T12:00

Do old people love minions? Do you believe in the multi-verse? What languages would you Matrix into your brain? How do you pick a sports team? What do fish dream about? These and other questions...

11: How Do You "Make Something of Yourself"? from 2015-08-17T12:00

If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be? Do you need to "protect your image"? Do adults continue to change as they get older? What are some cheap date ideas? If you could invent a...

10: When Your Friend Likes Ayn Rand... from 2015-08-10T12:00

Dear Hank and John now with 100% MORE JOHN! Here we discuss what to do when a young relationship is endangered by different goals, whether memory implants would be awesome or awful, and how to p...

8: Dear Hank and Grace (w/ Grace Helbig!) from 2015-07-27T12:00

How do you adjust to a new culture in a new town? Do I have to study at an Ivy League school? Should I keep chasing my dream? Grace Helbig and Hank Green have all the answers!
 If you're in...

7: What to do About Stomach Farts from 2015-07-20T12:00

How do you avoid being pretentious when you're intelligent, Charlie and Jimmy's school uniforms, when to look for a new job, and all the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.
 

If yo...

6: Would You Eat a Moon Sandwich? (w/ Emma Blackery!) from 2015-07-13T12:00

Hank is joined by Emma Blackery (youtube.com/emmablackery) to give you som...

4: What's in a Name? from 2015-06-29T00:00

Will a nickname change who I am? Are the bees OK? Should I go to a fancy college? And is it OK if you don't feel as sad as you think you should? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If ...

3: Pain Demands to be Felt from 2015-06-22T00:00

In which Hank and John discuss pain, the Istari, eschatology, and the slowness of apocalypses. Thank you to all of the many people sending in questions!

If you're in need of dubious ...

2: It's a Humor Podcast! from 2015-06-15T12:00

In which Hank and John answer questions about global development, chronic pain, and being depressed in hotel rooms. It's a humor podcast!! 

If you're in need of dubious advice, email ...