Crude Summer Episode 8: My Horny Toaster / September 11th Terrorist Role Playing - a podcast by Tim Henson

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Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!

Each week we will take a dip into DV’s pool of disgusting, poorly written, and just weird erotic fan fiction/ sex stories that have been featured over the past 15 years of the podcast. I originally read these stories to you during a segment called Sextastic Tuesday, which aired just about every week (on Tuesday’s, naturally) and creeped out a generation of freaks. Every weekend this summer we will relive some of these abominations.

This week: Toasters gone wild! 9/11 Erotica. It’s going to be a wild ride this weekend, freaks. BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:







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Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:

Erotica has been getting more and more absurd over the years good stories like my velociraptor oncologist fuck the cancer out of me and my butt hole Stargate warped my boyfriend’s penis to the Delta Quadrant. So today’s screwed summer features a equally dumb premise. Oh hornik toaster is going to get laid. And then if we have time, and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure we don’t have enough time for this second story. The anniversary of 911 is coming up. Oh god. Yeah, at some point, we did a 911 sex story, and I hope we don’t have to hear it again. Today’s episode of crude summer is brought to you by Adamandeve.com the number one adult toy superstore with a little something for everyone. Look guys, this is a judgment free zone. And I know some of you are into some pretty weird shit. Don’t worry Adam and Eve has you covered. For instance, let’s say you’re straight, but you like the feeling of a little penetration or a lot of penetration and not just penetration but you like the feeling of stuff gushing into your asshole, but you’re not gay. You love ladies, you love the pussy. You just want your prostate stimulated and maybe power washed. I don’t know. What did I say just a few seconds ago Adam and Eve had you covered with the natural real skin squirting penis with harness because sometimes you just want to get thrust the squirt crazy and why not so grab some lovin and get your natural real skin squirting Venus all slick and slippery for hot rod staying with a real happy ending, squirt. When you squeeze the balls. For those times. You’re just craving some love lava. Now maybe you don’t want to get slammed in the butt and that’s okay, I guess. Adam and Eve has thousands of products from Maybe you want a bigger penis. They’ve got penis pumps. They’ve got pills. I don’t know what the pills do but they’ve got pills or ointments or something necessities like condoms and lube stuff for women stuff for guys if it’s sexual in nature Adam and Eve has you covered they have an amazing deal for you pick out any one item,

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