Podcasts by Fear of Failure, a Lifelong Search for Love and Fulfillment
The autobiographical work “Fear of Failure” documents the life and times of James Aarons, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. It is a bold, uncensored look at the struggles of a young man looking for fulfillment in his profession and love in his life. Dr. Aarons pulls no punches and makes no excuses as he charmingly writes his way through his life’s journey. It is an effort that took great courage to write, and took even greater courage for his wife to permit him to do so. Most of all, this book is full of hope. The author’s self-disclosure is at once heartbreaking and enlightening, honest and innocent, with an eagerness to face headlong difficult and often painful truths. It is a memoir and an expose that is captivating and very hard to put down until you finish.
Further podcasts by James E Aarons DVM
Podcast on the topic Kunst
All episodes
What Next? FOF PC52 from 2021-06-23T00:00
Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other,...
ListenMocha 2.0: FOF PC50 from 2021-06-23T00:00
Two years later, we found we weren't using the horses anymore. I think our hearts were too broken. So, I gave both Mocha Too and Lucy to my sister Jackie. She and Steve came on a weekend and took t...
ListenSan Luis Obispo Yacht Club: FOF PC51 from 2021-06-23T00:00
As the ceremonies were winding down, I went to find Mary. She was talking to Melenie just outside the front door. As I approached her, Mary seemed confused. She was telling Melenie she didn’t remem...
ListenMocha's Accident: FOF PC49 from 2021-06-02T00:00
"I was standing in my front room by the window at approximately 7:00 PM. All of the windows and doors were opening my house. I heard a tremendous crash then a thunk. There were no screeches of brak...
ListenThe Horse Collector: FOF PC 48 from 2021-05-29T00:00
Although I no longer enjoyed any breeding contracts at the large horse ranches, I continued to see horses for other clients. Many of these folks were becoming tired of their horses. Some were older...
ListenThe Horse Collector: FOF PC 48 from 2021-05-29T00:00
Although I no longer enjoyed any breeding contracts at the large horse ranches, I continued to see horses for other clients. Many of these folks were becoming tired of their horses. Some were older...
ListenMocha Is Born: FOF PC 47 from 2021-05-09T00:00
Tuesday morning when I went out to feed her, Candybar had a foal suckling her. Mary and I immediately checked it out. As with any first newborn child, we bought books to help us rear an offspring, ...
ListenReconciliation: FOF PC 46 from 2021-05-01T00:00
Women can forgive physical cheating, but not an emotional one. On the contrary, men can forgive emotional cheating, but not a physical one." Rishi Bharadwaj
ListenDUI: FOF PC 45 from 2021-04-29T00:00
"People are always capable of falling in love again." Rishi Bharadwaj
ListenCreston Divorce: FOF PC 44 from 2021-04-23T00:00
--"You should get your heart broken once or more. You will get to know who you are and what do you want in a life partner." Rishi Bharadwaj -- Because of my consistent philandering and neglect, Mar...
ListenGathering Cattle: FOF PC 43 from 2021-04-17T00:00
The gathering starts right after daybreak. A group of cowboys on horses set out and methodically sweep from one side of the ranch to the other, keeping the startled cows and calves in front of them...
ListenCowboys Ride the Iron Horse: FOF PC42 from 2021-04-05T00:00
Cowboys Ride the Iron Horse is a roller-coaster chapter taking place on a snowbound train trying to get to Reno, Nevada.
ListenKnowledge Is Not The Same As Wisdom: FOF PC41 from 2021-03-21T00:00
Although intelligent enough to graduate veterinary school a month after my 27th birthday, it would take me many more years before I found my true self.
ListenTampa Bay: PC 40 from 2021-03-16T00:00
In the late spring of 1996, I received a notice from the AAAV they were looking for more material for the ostrich part of their annual convention at Tampa Bay Aug 28-30. I submitted a paper on Adve...
ListenPhiladelphia: FOF PC39 from 2021-03-05T00:00
“When do you plan on becoming married?” the woman asked. Susan and I looked at each other. We had been maintaining a distance and were not holding hands, surprised, but not really that others coul...
ListenSanta Barbara Botanical Gardens: FOF PC 38 from 2021-02-26T00:00
Deciding to create a plant paradise at Shadowmere Farms, I enrolled in classes at Santa Barbara Botanical Gardens to figure out how to grow those plants that could thrive in our climate zone. And I...
ListenDallas, Texas: PC 37 from 2021-02-18T00:00
My second ostrich speaking engagement happened at the American Ostrich Association’s yearly meeting in Dallas, Texas. I was one of four well-known ostrich vets invited to speak to AOA members regar...
ListenDallas, Texas: PC 37 from 2021-02-18T00:00
My second ostrich speaking engagement happened at the American Ostrich Association’s yearly meeting in Dallas, Texas. I was one of four well-known ostrich vets invited to speak to AOA members regar...
ListenA New Sideline: PC 36 from 2021-02-13T00:00
I was smitten by this new woman in my life. Besides being pretty, Susan was keenly interested in my veterinary lifestyle. Her magnetism pulled me into an unthinking blissful bubble. My insecuriti...
ListenA New Sideline: PC 36 from 2021-02-13T00:00
I was smitten by this new woman in my life. Besides being pretty, Susan was keenly interested in my veterinary lifestyle. Her magnetism pulled me into an unthinking blissful bubble. My insecuriti...
ListenMy Own Greek Tragedy: FOF PC 35 from 2021-02-04T00:00
A few years into our marriage my ADHD insecurities partnered with my immature mindset to lead me down a rabbit hole of temptation, betrayal, disloyalty, and sadness.
ListenOstrich Quarantine Station: FOF PC 34 from 2021-01-23T00:00
When notice spread I was an ostrich veterinarian, calls asking for my help arrived regularly, many of them out of our area code. One call came from a fellow with a family fleeing South Africa, eage...
ListenThe Circle of Knowledge: FOF PC 33 from 2021-01-03T00:00
My confidence in my veterinary learning had developed to the point where I was ready to teach others what I had learned. I call this the circle of knowledge. First one must learn and understand the...
ListenMy Family Grows:PC 32 from 2020-12-28T00:00
I needed some vacation time. When Mary suggested we visit her aging parents in Minneapolis, Minnesota I jumped at the idea. We could write the trip off on our taxes if we went to Minnesota for vet...
ListenOstrich Veterinarian: PC 31 from 2020-12-17T00:00
My career took another challenging turn when I decided to offer my veterinary services to ostrich owners. Once again I pushed myself into a steep learning curve to become proficient at doctoring th...
ListenChiquita: FOF Podcast 30 from 2020-11-20T00:00
Alan from the Atascadero Zoo called me. Chiquita, one of their spider monkeys had stopped eating and developed diarrhea. She looked horrible when I examined her, appearing weak and listless, about ...
ListenAustralians on Holiday: FOF Podcast 29 from 2020-11-19T00:00
On the flight back from lunch at Harris Ranch, I thanked Larry and Lorraine for their hospitality and invited the Australian woman and her brother over to my house for an evening in the hot tub. We...
ListenZoo Veterinarian: FOF 28 from 2020-11-14T02:48:45
In the fall of 1986, I received a call from Alan Metzler, director of our local zoo. He was looking for a new veterinarian to help with the medical well-being of the zoo’s animals. Bringing him fro...
ListenMary and I Wed: FOF PC 27 from 2020-11-08T00:00
I flew to LA International Saturday afternoon and took a taxi to Olvera Street. I was pleased; the place exuded the perfect nostalgic ambiance. Colorful piñatas, taco stands, and Mexican shops and ...
ListenSteamboat Springs: FOF 26 from 2020-11-05T00:00
Welcome to Podcast 26, where Mary and I travel to the Rocky Mountain enclave called Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Now, you’re likely asking… why are we in Colorado? Well… Sarah, of Thistledown Farm ...
ListenEquine Repro Man: FOF 25 from 2020-11-01T00:00
In the second year of my solo practice I was hired by Creston Oaks Arabians, a large horse ranch to oversee their breeding operations. Unlike cows, which can be bred pretty much anytime during the ...
ListenThe Great American Roadshow: FOF 24 from 2020-10-30T00:00
Come listen to a shit-stomping hootenanny as Mary and I drive to bluegrass country where she performed in a concert in Little Rock Arkansas and appeared on TV in Nashville, Tennessee. I’ll stop tal...
ListenThe Huer Huero Fire: FOF 23 from 2020-10-29T00:00
Once Mary invited me inside things escalated quickly. My interest in finding out more about this woman pushed my ADHD hyperfocus into hyperdrive. Intrigued by future possibilities I took full advan...
ListenNew Moon, a New Beginning: FOF 22 from 2020-10-28T00:00
Tired of being beat up by my revolving door ladies and bored of my open-door arrangement with Nancy I wondered where in the world I could find a quiet, peaceful mature relationship. Deciding to exp...
ListenBig Sur: FOF 21 from 2020-10-26T04:06:24
Nancy and I stayed a strong couple for almost half a year. She accompanied me when I left my apartment and moved to the country. I’d gone on a horse call to Oak Country Ranch, and after exclaiming ...
ListenThe Revolving Door: FOF 20 from 2020-10-21T00:00
Today I’m presenting my revolving door days. Starting up a large animal practice doesn’t happen overnight, leaving me with lots of free time. The days I wasn’t called out I found myself bored and m...
ListenEquine Endurance Rides: FOF 19 from 2020-10-16T00:00
Today I’m sharing my experiences as a horse vet monitoring magnificently conditioned horses as they compete across breath-taking landscapes on long distance races of 25, 50 and 100 miles. Called En...
ListenThe Charlatan: FOF 18 from 2020-10-10T00:00
After four hard years I was tired of vet school and ready to jump into the workforce. I decided to skip an internship, which meant another year of school. Deb, my girlfriend, was incredulous that I...
ListenThe New Veterinarian: FOF 17 from 2020-10-07T00:00
Today I’m returning to my circle of knowledge theory: Learn-it, Do-it, Teach-it. Passing California state boards gave me the legal license to practice the trade I’d been studying four years. It was...
ListenFinding a Job: FOF 16 from 2020-10-06T00:00
Graduation from vet school was approaching. I passed the state boards. Now, it was time to find a job. At first, I interviewed with vet practices within 60 miles of Davis because I wanted to contin...
ListenLamark Col: FOF 8 from 2020-10-01T20:38:25
My next chapter describes our backtracking trip in the California high sierras. The trip was in the middle of summer, yet we were glad we packed an ice axe otherwise we'd never make it over Lamarck...
ListenSea Monster: FOF 7 from 2020-10-01T03:02:52
With the increased income from my x-ray technician job Martha and I moved from her apartment into our own rental, a cottage on the Newport Beach bluffs where I found time to scuba dive. I’d meet up...
ListenA New Relationship: FOF 15 from 2020-10-01T00:00
I found a studio apartment available after September first, so I put in a deposit. After my disastrous bike trip, I had just a few days to move things from Martha’s house to my little place in town...
ListenX-Ray Technician: FOF 6 from 2020-09-30T03:03:59
Putting the Suzanne debacle behind me, I developed a relationship with Martha, another pre-veterinary student attending UC Irvine, and moved into her apartment during my senior year at UCI. Followi...
ListenAm I Wasting My Time? FOF 5 from 2020-09-27T18:09:28
Experiencing overwhelmingly positive feelings about my Saturdays doing veterinary work on horses with Dr. Seeley I branched further into the veterinary profession. Following Doc Seeley’s advice, I ...
ListenI Lose My Faith: FOF 3 from 2020-09-27T03:01:14
Disenchanted with my family and feeling lost and adrift in high school, I jumped into religion head first expecting to find life's purpose. However, my blind faith disintegrated as I realized the h...
ListenPerfume and Gasoline: FOF 2 from 2020-09-27T02:47:25
Hello, this is James Aarons the ADHD Author and Veterinarian coming to you with a new podcast I call Perfume and Gasoline. It’s about being under the teenage spell of surging hormones. Last episode...
ListenPeople Got To Be Free: FOF 4 from 2020-09-27T00:00
Abandoning my church beliefs, I glommed onto my college interactions to find a much-needed sense of security. At USC I used my religious mantle as a reason to make no friends. UCI was different. Re...
ListenI Become a Cowboy: FOF 1 from 2020-09-26T00:00
My first podcast starts with the story of my first horse Susie. Because of Susie I met a fellow who introduced me to the coolest career possibility: Dr. Seeley was a horse doctor.
ListenThe Bike Trip: FOF 14 from 2020-09-25T00:00
Today we’re riding the Amtrak rails from Sacramento, California to Seattle, Washington, the starting point of my soul-searching bicycle journey along Pacific Coast Highway. I’m not sure if this was...
ListenDeveloping Sensitivity: FOF 13 from 2020-09-23T00:00
Today I’m sharing an emotionally devastating period when Martha, a woman I lived with for three years, left me, saying she needed a break. In my immaturity I failed to give Martha the calm and lovi...
ListenVeterinary School Experiences: FOF 12 from 2020-09-20T00:00
Today I’m sharing my veterinary school days, when my three-step cycle of knowledge of ‘learn it’, ‘do it’, ‘teach it’ metamorphosed into the ‘do-it’ stage. My four years of focused learning were ex...
ListenWrong Way Love: FOF 11 from 2020-09-17T00:00
What happens to a person who finds his life’s answers with the first girl he meets, sets up the wedding, and suddenly decides he’s with the wrong girl? Wow, what a concept: falling out of love! I f...
ListenMoving to California FOF 10 from 2020-09-12T00:00
Relocating to California was the final move I made with my nine-member family. Pursuing job promotions Dad moved the family every three years or so, signing on with new companies needing him elsewh...
ListenThe Outlaw FOF 9 from 2020-09-08T00:00
Fear of failing is a two-edged sword, beneficial on the front edge because the worry can propel you forward, but deadly on the back edge because the same fear can paralyze. And, as with any situati...
ListenFear of Failure Trailer from 2020-09-04T00:00
The autobiographical work “Fear of Failure” documents the life and times of James Aarons, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. It is a bold, uncensored look at the struggles of a young man looking for fu...
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