Podcasts by Film Pigs Movie Commentaries

Commentary #52–10 (1979) from 2017-08-25T18:56:13

The Film Pigs are back with a brand-new movie commentary! This time we’re watching the classic 1979 sex comedy “10” starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derek. What’s super excit...

Commentary #51–Code of Honor (2016) from 2016-08-30T16:00:17

It’s finally here! The END of the Summer of Seagal! This time, it’s a commentary for CODE OF HONOR – a movie where Steven Seagal plays some guy who kills people for some r...

Commentary #50–The Asian Connection (2016) from 2016-06-27T15:30:31

The Summer of Seagal plows ahead full steam with a commentary on The Asian Connection! Two dumb bank robbers run afoul of Seagal’s criminal empire and they have to do something for him but...

Commentary #49–Sniper: Special Ops (2016) from 2016-05-29T15:32:24

The Film Pigs are Oscar Mike with a brand new commentary! With fellow Pig Stephen Falk missing-in-action, it’s up to Todd and Skelton to cowboy up and finish the mission. But this latest S...

Commentary #48–After Earth (2013) from 2015-03-15T18:06:32

It’s the first new Pigs movie commentary in a long, long time to feature all three pigs! And how do we choose to celebrate this special occasion? By sitting through the Will/Jaden Smi...

Commentary #47–Commando (Director’s Cut) (1985) from 2014-04-29T16:24:27

Remember when the Film Pigs said we’d do a commentary for Commando? We lied! We did a commentary for the Director’s Cut of Commando! Yes, there’s a director’s cut! No, we...

Commentary #46–Turbulence (1997) from 2013-12-23T21:01

It’s just doesn’t feel like the holiday season unless a lunatic Ray Liotta is trying to kill you on an airplane! Celebrate Christmas with Film Pigs Todd & Skelton as they settle ...

Commentary #45–Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) from 2012-12-27T00:30:31

TV’s Todd and Not TV’s Falk sit down to enjoy the bizarre treat that is Gremlins 2. Half way through the movie they lose interest and start going through Falk’s “Movie Di...

Commentary #44–Total Recall (1990) from 2012-09-25T18:18:35

Get your ass to Mars! The Film Pigs are back with a new alternate commentary for the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic TOTAL RECALL! Given the super-dull remake, this exercise in 90s over-the-topnes...

Commentary #43–The Room (2003) from 2012-07-03T17:08:07

The Film Pigs did not hit her! We did not–oh, hi, you guys. We did not see you there. What are you doing up here on the roof, just sitting with the football and thinking? Ha ha! That is so...

Commentary #42–Die Hard 2 (1990) from 2011-12-22T22:26:34

Happy holidays, everyone! It’s a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs round out 2011 with a treat that’s sure to please everyone: a commentary for the marginally holiday-themed Bruce Wil...

Commentary #41–Cabin Fever 2 (2009) from 2011-10-31T15:55:38

Happy Halloween everybody! The Film Pigs are proud to present another holiday-related commentary, this time of the classic flesh-eating sequel Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. The movie so full of f...

Commentary #40–Drive Angry (2011) from 2011-09-13T20:25:22

“So, it’s about this guy who escapes from Hell and goes on a rampage to save his granddaughter from some guys and he drives a car all over the place. It’s CRAZY!” “...

Commentary #39–Season Of The Witch (2011) from 2011-08-28T22:13:30

“Thanks for taking this meeting. I’ve got a great movie for you. We take Nic Cage and Ron Pearlman, send them to Eastern Europe for a couple months (Ron’s already there, itR...

Commentary #38–Caddyshack (1980) from 2011-05-12T18:03:46

Here’s a curveball: the Film Pigs do an alternate DVD commentary for a movie they absolutely LOVE*. We do an admirable job of actually talking about the movie instead of quietly watching o...

Commentary #37–The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) from 2011-02-28T19:35:56

Some kids grow up wanting to be a policeman, a fireman, or an astronaut. Not Dieter Laser. He looked at the state of mad scientism in the world and said “NEIN!” Frankenstein’s ...

Commentary #36–Retardead (2008) from 2010-12-16T20:08:49

The second in our Holiday Season 2010 double-feature, Retardead is a more-or-less sequel to Monsturd. The mad scientist who created the poo creature from the first movie is back, this time ...

Commentary #35–Monsturd (2003) from 2010-12-15T20:08:24

The Good News: In the spirit of the holiday season, the Film Pigs bring you TWO commentaries! Overcome with the joy and love that accompanies the annual celebration of rampant consumerism (and J...

Commentary #34–The Animal Room (1995) from 2010-11-29T23:18:28

In 1995, a terrifying vision of a possible dystopian future was unleashed into cinemas (or, more likely, a limited number of  Blockbuster Video stores). In this impossible-to-imagine yet al...

Commentary #33–The Wolfman (2010) from 2010-10-09T17:18:35

Good Lord, where to start on this one? The Wolfman is a big-budget remake of a classic horror film that incorporates all of the slow, clunky nonsense of the original and adds a tired Anthony Hop...

Commentary #32–The Core (2003) from 2010-08-04T02:19:32

There’s nothing more refreshing than a big Hollywood movie with a plot based on sound science. Since those don’t exist, the Film Pigs watched The Core instead. We’re not sure w...

Commentary #31–Hellbound (1994) from 2010-07-09T18:20:41

Have you ever wanted to listen to a commentary for a movie where Chuck Norris plays an on-the-edge Chicago cop who wanders around Israel looking for a demon who looks a lot like, but isn’t...

Commentary #30–Law Abiding Citizen (2009) from 2010-05-04T20:03:35

Law Abiding Citizen is a movie so engaging, so socially relevant, and so masterful in its execution that Todd had to buy the Unrated Director’s Cut Blu-Ray edition so he could see it in al...

Commentary #29–G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009) from 2010-02-09T23:27:22

A new decade brings forth new life challenges. For the Film Pigs, this means sitting through the stupidest movie from the previous decade. It’s hard to quantify just how monumentally stupi...

Commentary #28–Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) from 2009-12-16T00:26:37

It’s a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs return to make everyone’s holiday season a little brighter. And what better way to celebrate the Christian / Jewish / Muslim / Pagan / Pastafa...

Commentary #27–Twilight (2008) from 2009-07-31T21:19:30

You missed it. You demanded it. And now you have it: the first Film Pigs commentary in almost a year! Who would have thought it was possible to procrastinate so long on a money-losing hobby? If ...

Commentary #26–P2 (2007) from 2008-12-18T22:08:35

Happy holidays Film Pigs fans! In keeping with our marginally adhered to tradition of Christmastime-themed commentaries for the season, we bring you P2. It’s a story of thrills, survival a...

Commentary #25–The Happening (2008) from 2008-11-16T22:12:02

M. Night Shyamalan’s first R-rated movie! M. Night Shyamalan’s first R-rated movie! Those were the words that sent people to theaters in – what’s the opposite of “d...

Commentary #24–10,000 BC (2008) from 2008-08-21T04:08:03

At the dawn of human civilization, there was this guy who hunted giant cartoon mastodons, was chased by prehistoric man-eating ostriches, and totally fucked up this pyramid. He did this because ...

Commentary #23–Bratz (2007) from 2008-06-23T01:32:16

It started out as a simple joke. A ribald suggestion that three grown men sit through a movie clearly assembled by soulless corporate executives for tween girls and their sexually frustrated fat...

Commentary #22–Road House (1989) from 2008-04-16T07:28:29

Swayze. Elliott. Boobs. Few words encompass the greatness that is American cinema more than these, and few films possess all three qualities at once. Road House is such a film. Join the Film Pig...

Commentary #21–Disturbia (2007) from 2008-02-11T07:01:01

The Film Pigs just can’t get enough of that charming Shia LaBeouf! This time he stars as an impulse-control challenged and slightly pervy teenager under house arrest in this modern take on...

Commentary #20–Christmas Fireplace (2007) from 2007-12-22T23:10:01

The Film Pigs spread holiday cheer with this very special DVD commentary. Snatched up in the festive shopping madness at Burbank’s finest Kmart, marvel as the Pigs learn the true meaning o...

Commentary #19–Transformers (2007) from 2007-12-05T05:50:01

Normally this would be where we make fun of the movie’s tagline – something like “Transformers: Their War. Our World. Complete Waste Of Your Time.” – but holy f*ck,...

Commentary #18–The Reaping (2007) from 2007-10-31T08:01:01

Having secured the coveted early spring release window, one would have thought 2007’s The Reaping would have become an instant classic. I mean, you’ve got a gritty biblical horror st...

Commentary #17–Torque (2004) from 2007-10-01T04:01:01

Combining the subtle nuances of “The Fast And The Furious” with the drum-tight structure of “Timerider”, Torque feels much longer than it’s running time of 84 minut...

Commentary #16–Audition (1999) from 2007-03-18T02:48:01

Holding a fake movie audition in order to find a new wife seems reasonable enough – I mean, how else are you supposed to meet women? MySpace? Unfortunately for the Film Pigs, our guy forge...

Commentary #15–Crank (2006) from 2007-02-27T07:01:01

Crank is quite possibly the best movie ever made about a guy injected with a lethal dose of poison who goes on a rampage against his enemies but takes time out to bang Amy Smart in front of a cr...

Commentary #14–Invasion U.S.A. (1985) from 2006-12-15T07:01:01

It’s beginning to look a lot like Norris! The Film Pigs celebrate the season with the festive holiday picture “Invasion U.S.A.” With the fierce demeanor of an indifferent koala...

Commentary #13–Silent Hill (2006) from 2006-10-16T04:01:01

What Halloween would be complete without an awkward video-game-to-movie translation? Watch in horror as a concerned mother deals with her child’s terrible nightmares about a town called &#...

Commentary #12–Hostel (2005) from 2006-09-05T05:30:01

Ah, scenic Europe. The Old World charm, the cultural sophistication, the endless barrage of titty and gore. Truly, this is a Very Important Movie with a Timeless Message. That message: everyone ...

Commentary #11–Brokeback Mountain (2005) from 2006-06-05T05:30:01

No pun intended, but being a gay cowboy is really hard. Especially when you’ve only got a couple of camping trips to try and generate some kind of meaningful relationship with a guy who mu...

Commentary #10–Crash (2004) from 2006-04-20T06:01:01

To call this movie ham-fisted would be an insult to the depth and subtlety you get from ham-fistedness. From its opening scene, Crash blunders through an endless series of tired racial stereotyp...

Commentary #9–The Outsiders (1983) from 2006-02-12T20:01:01

The Film Pigs sit down with S.E. Hinton’s classic tale of cuddle-prone and generally shirtless street punks on the run for the self-defense murder of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog mod...

Commentary #8–It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) from 2005-12-23T23:30:01

Is it just us or is “Pottersville,” the version of Bedford Falls where George Bailey never existed, the most AWESOME PLACE EVER?!!! It’s got neon lights, dance halls, and titty...

Commentary #7–Saw (2004) from 2005-10-31T09:01

For a movie called “Saw,” there is an alarming lack of “sawing” – of arms, legs, heads, wooden planks, trees, anything. However, there is plenty of terrifying actin...

Commentary #6–The Passion Of The Christ (2004) from 2005-10-04T04:00

We are going to hell. Which should be more fun than watching this movie. The Bible is really confusing. (IMDb) TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

T...

Commentary #5–Hitch (2005) from 2005-09-01T19:01

There is a moment in this movie where an indignant Will Smith berates Eva Mendes for criticizing his job as a “date doctor” by making the point that women are too stupid and shallow ...

Commentary #4–Meet The Fockers (2004) from 2005-07-11T01:51

And you thought previous performances from DeNiro and Stiller were embarrassing. The Film Pigs stagger through the most contrived screwball-family-comedy-barely-disguised-as-an- excuse-for-poop-...

Commentary #3–The Day After Tomorrow (2004) from 2005-06-06T08:56

The Film Pigs learn an important lesson about the environment in an action-thriller-blockbuster that, after a great first hour of destruction, combines the excitement of a summit on global warmi...

Commentary #2–The Grudge (2004) from 2005-04-26T00:22:01

When someone dies in a state of rage, a grudge is born. When the Film Pigs are forced to watch a PG-13 horror movie, aggravation is born. (IMDb) TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seco...

Commentary #1–Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) from 2005-04-25T00:22:02

Feel the power of the Force as it lulls the Film Pigs into a state of continuous hatred for the awful, awful mess that is George Lucas’ less-than- pedestrian follow up to the classic sci-f...