@HomewithDean - Homily 1/9 - a podcast by KFI AM 640 (KFI-AM)

Another year has passed for us all. In addition, my birthday is this month, as is also the anniversary of this show. So needless to say there’s been a lot of thinking of late about the passage of time and specifically I’ve been a part of several conversations with friends and family about the hopes and dreams we held at the beginning of our journeys versus how the hell life got us to where we are now.

I don’t know this is true for certain but it feels like my generation was perhaps the last one still led to believe the future was somewhat predictable and if we studied hard we could obtain the work we wanted in a world we understood, and therefore live happy and successful lives. A+B=C.

There are, I suppose, myriad reasons why that equation doesn’t work, why life doesn’t end up as we might expect. Some of us didn’t have the means. Some of us didn’t have a healthy home life as a launch pad. But even for those who did, life is always serving up the unexpected. Unexpected death. Unexpected births. Unexpected opportunities and the unexpected loss of opportunities. There are storms and sickness and everything from politics to pandemics. Life is just far bigger than any of us, bigger than all of us put together, and life just keeps rolling on with this rather annoying habit of never asking our permission.

But despite all of this, you can’t just not make plans. I’ve never seen that turn out well for anyone. So what then is the secret to a successful life when you’re encouraged make plans for a future you can’t predict? How do you confidently set out on your journey knowing the trip almost definitely won’t end up where you planned to go? Take me for instance. Two things are paradoxically true about my life: I’m currently enjoying the most personal and professional success ever, but also this life of mine is in most ways light years away from where I ever intended it to be.

So how does that work?

I like these words from Joseph Campbell, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Yeah, something about that hits pretty close to home. My own conclusions about life are less eloquent but I think still in the same vein. I put it this way: Life is trying. With the trying comes a lot of failing but those who never try never get anywhere while those who never stop trying end up somewhere, even if it’s nowhere near what they planned. I’ve been around for more than half a century and this is pretty much all I know: Life is trying. Stop trying, start dying.

That means the real reason it’s important to make plans is because acting on a plan is trying, and life is trying. Not to mention every time you make a plan, despite life getting in the way, often a fraction of the plan works. So you go stand on that tiny success, take stock of what you learned, and try again. Try, learn, try again. Plan, act, learn, rinse and repeat.

Can we be honest? What are the odds your New Years resolutions will come to pass as planned? Probably not good. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Because life is not about things coming to pass as planned. Life is trying.

Another year lies ahead. For me I hope that means more adventures, more great stuff to design, and maybe the chance to do another five years of this show. I don’t know. No one does. Five years ago I couldn’t have predicted I’d be here now. So who knows? All I can tell you is I’m going to keep trying because I’m not done living and to stop trying is to start dying. I will keep trying and I encourage you to keep trying because, even though the odds are against ending up where you intended, the odds are very good you’ll end up building yourself a beautiful life.

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