@HomewithDean - Homily 7/25 - a podcast by KFI AM 640 (KFI-AM)

You might have noticed, I very consciously try not to speak negatively of things in the closing moments of our time together. In my view there is already an overabundance of negativity in our world. There’s an old saying that the last thing a fish would ever notice is water. These days negativity, snark, aggression, cynicism, hate and judgmentalism have sadly become the water in which we all swim. I don’t know about you but I would love to spend my days swimming in cleaner water.

“But the world is full of real problems, Dean. You can’t just put your head in the sand and hope them away.”

You see, there’s the curious thing. Who decided the only way to clean up a mess is get down and wallow in it? Who decided the best way to fight fire is with fire? At the risk of appearing very naive I’ll admit I’m still operating under the assumption that the best way to fight fire is with water, or at very least to deny a fire the fuel it longs to consume.

Every day, multiple times a day, we’re told that we are a deeply divided country. Every day someone suggests the rancor has become so intense that we are headed toward another civil war. Perhaps that’s what some truly believe. Perhaps that’s what some truly want. I think, just practically speaking, there are about ten thousand reasons why such a prediction is not going to come true. Just one of those reasons is we love to complain about systems and institutions while we’re deriving benefits from them. It’s the old conundrum that you have to climb up into God’s lap in order to slap him in the face.

No, I think folks are confusing two very different things. What we’re fighting, what we’ve all become casualties of, is not a civil war but a war of civility.

There is a quote attributed to the great American poet, Walt Whitman. I’m not sure he actually said it but that has no effect on how true it is. I heard it again watching Ted Lasso (by the way, a wonderful show with a main character that we all could stand to become more like). The quote is simply, “Be curious, not judgmental.”

I believe that strikes very close to the heart of the matter in this present war of civility. You know by now what importance I place on leading with curiosity; on having all the questions instead of pretending to have all the answers; of getting to the “why” behind every what. When you are a fundamentally ignorant person (which is exactly what we all are) then the best thing to know is that you are a fundamentally ignorant person. Embracing your ignorance keeps you open, keeps you growing, keeps you humble, and maybe most important these days … keeps you civil.

I like to think I’m a pretty curious person and as a result, a not very judgmental person. But I’m still not curious enough to always be the best version of myself. I’m still judgmental. What’s even worse is I’m most judgmental of judgmental people. Sin begets sin and the war of civility continues.

So where do we start? I think maybe the best place to reignite your curiosity is to be curious about why you feel so judgmental. The most important questions are the questions we ask ourselves.

Life is the art of becoming the best you that you can dream of being. When you’re dreaming that dream help bring an end to the war of civility. Don’t judge. Be curious. Find the “why.” Question everything but begin with yourself and I believe you’ll become a less negative person and even, perhaps, find that you’re building yourself a more beautiful life.

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