@HomewithDean - Homily 8/8 - a podcast by KFI AM 640 (KFI-AM)

The story of how green grassy lawns found their way into our present is, I think, a pretty good example of how better understanding the past can help free us from it.

Great Grandpa was so proud of his lawn because for him it really meant something. You and I were born into a world of lawns. By the time we got here the story of lawns didn’t feel like a story at all. It was just how things are. It’s simply what goes in front of a house. Less of a deeply meaningful blessing and more of a burden of home ownership. But our great grandparents knew a world where meticulously manicured green parkland was something only those of means could afford to put on display. And so when the opportunity came to have their own lawn it became a symbol that they were now the lords of the manor. That their home was very much their castle and in some significant way they were now more in control of their own destiny. That was their story.

Powerful things … stories.

It’s been said that human beings are meaning seekers and meaning makers, which is really just another way of saying we are storytellers and story dwellers. Stories give us context. The “facts” don’t really mean anything to us unless or until we fit them into a story we understand, like how words only really have meaning once they find their place in a proper sentence.

I like revisiting the idea of how much power stories hold over me because—true confession—life doesn’t really trigger me, it’s how I interpret life through my stories that triggers me. And seeing my stories for what they are is the only chance I have to break free of them and write better ones, healthier ones, truer ones.

We all have stories that trigger us. We all have stories that could use some editing. And we could all benefit from remembering that some of our stories just aren’t true. That’s ok if your story is aspirational. If you’re creating a future that right now doesn’t exist. It’s not so great if your story is delusional. And sometimes it’s not so easy to tell those apart. Have you noticed we tend to think of dreamers as a bit crazy? I think it’s exactly because until their story proves itself we can’t really tell whether it was an aspiration or a delusion. It’s a tricky business, this whole being human thing.

Perhaps the most important part to remember about our stories is even the ones that are true are never the whole truth. We see what we can see from our small perspective and even if we see things clearly we still only always see in part. Remembering that can keep you humble, and keep you pliable, which I’m fairly certain are just about the two most important things you can be. We all encounter moments in life that challenge the stories we hold dear. When that happens if we can surrender our stories we change and grow. If we can’t, we break and shrink.

Now, I’ve noticed I can’t spend much time away from my stories—about as long as a fish can spend out of the water—but I keep trying to come up for air and re-enter the present moment, because even if it’s just for a few moments it gives me just a little more perspective and just a little more opportunity to rewrite my story as I dive back in. I did that again just this morning when I wrote these words. I sat by the fire long enough to notice how lovely it was. How soft and warm my hoodie felt. How sweet the cool air smelled. How good the coffee tasted. I left some stories behind for just a while and even though nothing earth shattering changed in me, something changed, just a little.

I think what happened was I came up for air, became a little more aware of my stories, and felt just a little more convinced that as I dove back in I’d see them just a little differently and that just might allow me to do a little better job building myself a beautiful life.

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