Podcasts by Lia and Alanna Watch The X-Files

2x17 "End Game" from 2021-06-07T16:00

"End Game" picks up where "Colony" left off, but unfortunately Alanna's dreams of two Mulder's are quickly crushed. This episode reveals the truth about "Samantha," confirms Mulder's daddy issues, ...

2x16 "Colony" from 2021-05-28T16:00

The Girls start this episode by talking about real-life news: the government has confirmed, again, the existence of UFOs! Also, Lia reasserts her controversial belief that COVID-19 is an alien viru...

2x15 "Fresh Bones" from 2021-05-22T20:00

"Fresh Bones" deals with instances of voodoo magic at a Haitian refugee camp, but Mulder and Scully don't do much. Lia and Alanna admit to casting spells with questionable intentions.

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2x14 "Die Hand Die Verletzt" from 2021-05-14T15:00

In the episode that no one knows how to pronounce, Mulder and Scully  investigate a murder in a town with a bunch of lazy Satan worshippers. The producers say this is a 'parody' but The Girls are u...

2x13 "Irresistible" from 2021-05-07T16:00

In "Irresistible" Mulder plans to take Scully on an elaborate date, but the agents end up working a case that triggers Scully's abduction trauma. Lia and Alanna  beg the writers to just please leav...

2x12 "Aubrey" from 2021-05-01T00:00

"Aubrey" takes on important topics like generational trauma and why Mulder eats all those sunflower seeds.

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2x09 "Firewalker" from 2021-04-09T15:10

Well, Scully is back to work and unsurprisingly we are not talking about her abduction trauma. Instead, we're investigating dangerous spores inside a volcano. Alanna's worst nightmare, plants insid...

2x08 "One Breath" from 2021-04-02T15:00

This is a BIG episode. In fact, our longest non-fanfiction episode. Scully returns out of nowhere and her family must decide whether to take her off life-support or not. Mulder, who was watching po...

2x07 "Three (3)" from 2021-03-26T16:00

Scully is gone and Mulder is acting out. Things take a very adult turn when he explores bloodplay and the BDSM world of sexy vampires. Oh and yes, that is David Duchovny's real-life girlfriend play...

2x06 "Ascension" from 2021-03-19T16:00

The Girls take on Ascension, and Alanna has a lot of feelings... sexual feelings. Mulder chokes someone and maybe hits on Scully's mom. Oddly, instead of being turned on, Lia is filled with despair...

2x05 "Duane Barry" from 2021-03-12T17:00

It may be the most exciting episode of the season so far, but first Lia and Alanna  talk in depth about David Duchovny's many novels. And no, they haven't read them. Episode 5 introduces us to Duan...

2x04 "Sleepless" from 2021-03-08T17:00

It's the fourth episode of the second season, and Lia actually remembers seeing it before! This episode introduces us to Alex Krycheck, whom Alanna hates, and Lia has a hard time not revealing futu...

2x03 "Blood" from 2021-02-26T17:00

It’s episode 2x03 and The X-Files are still shut down. A postal worker who gets a paper cut and then gets fired is being subliminally convinced to go on a killing spree. Alanna does research int...

2x02 "The Host" from 2021-02-19T17:00

Season 2, Episode 2 is set in the sewers and The Girls aren't happy about it. Gross from start to finish, with the exception of when Mulder gets wet. Lia and Alanna discuss a shocking event that ha...

2x1 "Little Green Men" from 2021-02-13T02:25

It's season 2, episode 1 and we're still doing this! The X-Files may still be shut down, but that doesn't stop Mulder from going to find some aliens in Puerto Rico, or Scully from having to save hi...

BONUS: Fanfiction from 2021-01-29T17:00

Thank you to all the fanfiction writers out there, you're doing god's work.

NOTE: We mark all episodes explicit, but we really mean it with this one.

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1x23 "Roland" from 2021-01-17T17:00

It's the second to last episode of the season and yet "Roland" has nothing to do with the season finale. Lia and Alanna breakdown the agents investigation of a disabled janitor accused of murder, b...

1x22 "Born Again" from 2021-01-08T17:00

 In "Born Again", we have another creepy little girl possibly responsible for murders, which leads to another argument about when The Parent Trap was released. Lia and Alanna apologize for spending...

1x21 "Tooms" from 2021-01-02T19:44:03

In episode 1x21, our old friend Tooms is back and on the hunt for his 5th liver! Lia and Alanna learn that Mulder sleeps hugging himself and probably doesn't have a bedroom. They also tackle import...

1x20 "Darkness Falls" from 2020-12-28T18:01:25

In Episode 20, Scully and Mulder take on swarms of bioluminescent bugs unearthed in the forests of Washington State. The girls discuss the horrors of this possibility, the return of Lesbian Scully,...

1x19 "Shapes" from 2020-12-18T17:00

In what we're calling the first flop of Season 1, Lia and Alanna discuss everything but "Shapes." The girls offer criticism and suggestions for improving this episode, and attempt to answer burning...

1x18 "Miracle Man" from 2020-12-11T20:41:20

In episode 18, things start to go very wrong within a religious cult. Mulder thinks he sees his sister, there's a second coming of Jesus, and Scully doesn't believe any of this shit. Join us as Lia...

1x17 "E.B.E." from 2020-12-04T16:30

It's episode 17 and we're chasing down aliens, baby! After a fighter jet shoots down a UFO, Mulder and Scully attempt to track the remnants across the country in hopes of revealing the truth and wi...

1x16 "Young at Heart" from 2020-11-27T17:00

It's episode 16 and a man Mulder helped convict is back to torture him, of course! This episode is full of sexual tension, mystery, confusion, death, and... salamander hands? Join us as we discuss ...

1x15 "Lazarus" from 2020-11-20T17:00

In "Lazarus", Scully's ex-boyfriend returns and we learn that she has a type: coworkers who are relentless and stubborn. Alanna wishes someone would tell her that she feels like New Year's Eve, eve...

1x14 "Gender Bender" from 2020-11-13T17:00

“Gender Bender” contains many shocking revelations. Was Scully a horse girl? Is she super horny? Are Lia and Alanna huge nerds who don’t know anything about sex? And is Alanna going to quit the pod...

1x13 "Beyond the Sea" from 2020-11-09T16:14:33

In Episode 13, Scully takes on the role of the believer when a psychic death row inmate claims he can help catch a potential serial killer. The girls discuss everything from the death penalty to th...

1x12 "Fire" from 2020-10-30T15:55

An asteroid is (hopefully) headed to earth but Lia and Alanna are still talking about Episode 1x12 “Fire”. The show introduces Phoebe, a widely reviled character who Alanna doesn’t totally hate. An...

1x11 "Eve" from 2020-10-23T16:00

Lia and Alanna discover they’re twin clones that were separated at birth but can telepathically communicate with each other from across the country. Wait, no, sorry, those are the kids in this X-Fi...

1x10 "Fallen Angel" from 2020-10-16T14:35:37

Lia and Alanna made it to episode ten, and they're feeling pretty great about it. Mulder investigates a potential UFO crash site, Scully works as a doctor for a night, and of course, aliens are wre...

1x09 "Space" from 2020-10-09T19:04:23

An extraterrestrial spirit is sabotaging NASA through Mulder's childhood hero, Gemini astronaut, Colonel Belt. Lia and Alanna discuss Mulder's sunflower seed addiction for the first time and remini...

1x08 "Ice" from 2020-10-02T16:00

In Icy Cape, Alaska, an alien worm is turning scientists into murderers. Mulder and Scully investigate, but take some time to tenderly caress each other. Join us as we get to the bottom of burning ...

1x07 "Ghost in the Machine" from 2020-09-25T12:00:04

We're talking all things 1x07: "Ghost in the Machine". They call this a Halloween episode, but Alanna is firm that it is NOT. Scully fights a fan and Mulder makes an elevator angry. Also, Lia is pr...

1x06 "Shadows" from 2020-09-18T16:00:16

Episode 1x06 is supposedly about telekinesis, or is it? This episode may take you by surprise but the one constant that always remains is Mulder looking good. Also, Lia receives a phone call. 
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1x05 "Jersey Devil" from 2020-09-11T17:05:42

It's episode 5 and Mulder loses his mind over a child's drawing of a normal man, Scully goes on a date, and Alanna sets out on a quest to find the greatest mythical creature of all: The Squonk.
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1x04 "Conduit" from 2020-09-04T04:00:02

In episode 1x04: Conduit, a family is torn apart by a potential alien abduction. That's important, but have you seen David Duchovny's instagram? Join Lia and Alanna as they try not to get sued whil...

1x03 "Squeeze" from 2020-08-28T04:00:10

Lia and Alanna are back to talk about Season 1, Episode 3: Squeeze. A humanoid serial killer returns every 30 years to eat 5 livers, Casual Friday Mulder is the talk of the town, and aliens are may...

1x02 "Deep Throat" from 2020-08-21T04:00:35

Lia and Alanna take on Episode 2: A Military test pilot has gone missing, is it alien related??? This episode is full of government cover-ups and sexual tension - a classic combo. Join us as we dis...

1x01 "Pilot" from 2020-08-14T01:35:26

In our first episode we discuss all things Season 1, Episode 1: The Pilot. Including but not limited to, Scully's huge blazers, defunding the FBI, is David Duchovny REALLY 6 feet tall, and of co...