Podcasts by Jess and Abby’s Lousy Beautiful Town

Episode 66 - F1 Hierarchy of Hate from 2023-07-24T12:35:11

It’s hot union summer and everyone is on strike! Well, everyone except F1 probably because Bernie Ecclestone... cause as we learn, it’s always his fault. We talk the WGA & SAG-AFTRA strikes ...

Episode 65 - Jess and Abby Should’ve Just Facetimed from 2023-06-01T19:52:50

Hello Jess and Abby use podcasting as an excuse to connect and also because we think we are hot, insightful, and funny, we make everyone listen to us. Should this have been a Facetime call? Mayb...

Epiosde 64 - Speaking of Other People Who Died: F*ck 2022 from 2023-02-12T18:39:09

We’re not! We are still alive and here to talk about the absolute shitshow that was 2022. Buckle up, folks, it’s a mostly bumpy ride. But hey, at least the Queen died!

Episode 63 - Formula 1: Piastri Disastri from 2022-08-07T17:11:41

It’s lights out on the first half of the Formula 1 season and away we go with the summer break silly season! That’s right babies, it’s another F1 episode. This time we catch y’all up on all the ...

Episode 62 - Kenobi: This Ep. Is About Kenobi from 2022-07-10T16:07:48

Ew, we’re talking about Star Wars. But first we have to be haters for like, 40 minutes because we are who we are. We eventually get to talking about Kenobi, we promise. And when we do it’s nothi...

Episode 61 - Arcane: Imagine... Dragons from 2022-06-07T22:33:10

JACLYN’S BACK AND READY TO TALK ABOUT HOT LESBIANS! That’s right, babies, we’re talking about Arcane! Join us (but mostly Jess and Jaclyn) as we deep dive into the story of Arcane, the music, th...

Episode 60 - Formula 1: The Ferraris Should Kiss from 2022-03-25T08:00

IT’S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO WITH THE LONG ANTICIPATED JESS AND ABBY’S GUIDE TO FORMULA ONE!!!! Join us as we introduce you to our version of the most popular motorsport in the world. Spoiler ...

Episode 59 - Derry Girls: Nasty Tongue People from 2022-03-17T11:00:20

Russ is here and we’re talking about the best show ever, Derry Girls! Join us as we figure out why we, a bunch of Americans, relate so heavily to a group of Irish Catholic girls growing up at th...

Episode 58 - My Star Wars Hates Me from 2022-02-11T16:18:35

Listen, we’d love to not be a Star Wars podcast anymore but Star Wars (& Star Wars fandom) keeps showing its whole ass so here we are. Join us as we talk about The Footnotes of Boba Fett and scr...

Episode 57 - Jean to My Jorts from 2022-01-23T16:06:54

2021 sure was a year! Let’s recap it with the only coping skill (and maybe our first line of defense against COVID) we have: the devil’s lettuce. From insurrections to Nicki Minaj’s friend’s cou...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Christmas on the Ranch from 2021-12-13T12:34:29

Howdy Christmas Cowfolks! This week we continue our bad southern accents and review Tello's Christmas on the Ranch! Join Emma and Abby as they love on lesbians, bemoan the idea that a strong soc...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Dolly Parton‘s Christmas on the Square from 2021-11-27T11:37:12

Howdy Dolly Lovers! This week Abby and Emma review Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square: a very musical-y musical that is 100% queer culture because Dolly Parton and Christine Baranski are in ...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Anna and the Apocalypse from 2021-11-20T08:00

WELCOME TO THE 2021 SEASON OF ROSÉ TILL CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!!   Join Abby and Emma as they review Anna and the Apocalypse, a Christmas zombie apocalypse musical (yes, you read that right). Blood and ...

Episode 56 - Revisiting TROS (While High): Where Are The Bones?! from 2021-11-18T09:00:43

Hellooooo and welcome to High Thoughts with Abby (and Jess too), a segment usually just for our patrons but we felt like sharing it with the world. We literally just announced (well, like a few ...

Episode 55 - LBT Rebranded: Glorious Purpose from 2021-07-11T17:11:39

Well. Cat’s out of the bag. We’re barely a Star Wars podcast anymore, but now we’ve made it official! Join the new Lousy Beautiful Town, 10% star 90% wars, as we talk about what had made us head...

Episode 54 - Bad Bishes from 2021-05-06T22:34:21

WE’RE ALIVE BAD BISHES!!!! (for now). We talk a little Star Wars (ew). And then put our fists through the usual. Ya know, racism, people in fandom being shit, and why the Mayo Clinic does not ma...

Episode 53 - you know, your robot boiii from 2021-03-12T19:42:53

1. Oh hey look, Ash is back. AND THEY’RE STILL MAKING US SAD. But also we’re chaotic as fuck god damn it jessica get out of here       yes yes how does this always hap...
   Listen

Episode 52 - We Need the Cheadle from 2021-02-21T17:30:13

In a world where a character loses their actor because of their actor’s garbage behavior and is in need of replacement, there is only one man we can call. One man renowned for his skills in repl...

Episode 51 - Not in My Good Christian Mandalorian Headcanons from 2021-01-08T09:21:18

Ash is back and chaos continues to reign! Join us as a conversation about our overall thoughts on Mando season 2 turns into our Luke Skywalker x Din Djarin headcanons. Also Boba Fett is Din’s be...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: A New York Christmas Wedding from 2021-01-04T08:30

It's Christmasy, queer, and Catholic... Which basically means A New York Christmas Wedding was made specifically for Abby. Join us with our terrible New Yorker accents as we talk about love, tim...

Episode 50 - Ahsoka Also Has a Big Fat Dick from 2020-12-28T18:23:27

JACLYN’S BACK AND WITH A VENGENCE!!!!!! Join your favorite host, and also Jess and Abby, as we talk about the Ahsoka episode and how much we hate it. We’re ready to fight Jon and Dave, but hones...

Episode 49 - H0RNY4B0KAT4N from 2020-12-19T16:26:48

Dank ferrik, Abby is horny for Bo-Katan. And Sasha Banks. And Fennec Shand. And Din Djarin. And Hayden Christensen in his Vader bath. Jess says some things too that I can’t remember— I just most...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Lez Bomb&Happiest Season from 2020-12-08T21:19:26

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS HAPPY. NOTHING. WE HATE HAPPIEST SEASON. SO MUCH. THE GAYS DESERVE BETTER. 

and eh. Lez Bomb was fine.

Twitter: @RoseTillXMasDay

  Listen

Episode 48 - The LEGO Star Wars Holiday Special Live-Watch from 2020-11-28T17:11:02

'Twas the night of LEGO Star Wars, and all through the pod

Jess and Abby were excited, which was rather odd;

The two hate Star Wars and don't really care

But the promise of ...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Christmas on Wheels&A Timeless Christmas from 2020-11-28T16:22:23

It's a double feature week with offerings from the cheesiest of Christmas production houses: Lifetime and Hallmark. Emma and Abby sit down to discuss haunted cars that kill homophobes and the gi...

Episode 47 -Out with Transphobes, In with Frog Ladies from 2020-11-16T17:54:18

(Jess speaking Jess) (Abby replying in Abby) (Jess making excellent point in Jess) (Abby laughing in Abby) (Jess cackling in Jess) (Abby snorting in Abby) (Jess and Abby screaming simultaneously...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Jingle Jangle from 2020-11-16T10:00

Let's jingle them jangles!!! It's time for a MUSICAL!! Join us as we gush over Netflix's Jingle Jangle, a movie we totally didn't realize is a musical, but we are SO on board. Enjoy and remember...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Christmas With a View&Holidate from 2020-11-15T20:35:17

Better late than never! This time we watch Christmas With a View and Netflix's Holidate. But we had the true *honor* of getting to talk about these less than stellar films twice cause Craig the ...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Klaus from 2020-11-01T17:40:09

IT'S CHRISTMAS THE FIRST! Emma and Abby sit down and discuss the 2019 Netflix Original, Klaus-- why it's the perfect kick off for your Christmas season, and why it might be the Christmas movie y...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: The Nightmare Before Christmas Watch-Along from 2020-10-31T15:52:30

WELCOME BACK TO ROSÉ TILL CHRISTMAS DAY!!!! For our first episode of season 2, we decided to livewatch Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) to ring in the Spoopy Christmas Spirit! Che...

Episode 46 -Megtober, Part III from 2020-10-30T20:17:32

Ending Megtober with a bang! Join us for our last episode in our 3 part series on fatphobia and diet culture. We talk fatphobia in Star Wars (shocker that we’re talking about Star Wars, we know)...

Episode 45 - Megtober, Part II from 2020-10-27T17:49:09

It’s still Megtober, y’all! And we still have a hell of a lot more to talk about. In this part we cover exercise, medical fatphobia, bras, eating disorders/disordered eating, & “good” fats v. “b...

Episode 44 - Megtober, Part I from 2020-10-16T18:51

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, y’all! It’s Megtober! In our quest to obtain the majority of the powers of Rogue Podron, we had Meg join us for a v long but v good conversation about f...

Episode 43 - Shedding the Cisgender Exoskeleton from 2020-10-03T13:46:57

APOLOGIES FOR THE AUDIO QUALITY, PARTICULARLY JESS'S AUDIO

We tried everything and *this* was honestly the BETTER than its original form. Yikes. Enjoy the show!

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Episode 42 - Somehow... (Part II) from 2020-09-11T12:57:57

I guess we’ll still talk about Star Wars. Join us as we wrap up our overall thoughts on the Sequel Trilogy. We bitch about TLJ. And lose our minds over the chaos that is TROS. We missed you Padr...

Episode 41 - Somehow, a WAP: Part I from 2020-08-22T16:34:19

Ugh, fine we’ll talk about Star Wars. We talk our overall thoughts on the Sequel Trilogy, but we talked for way too long and had to split it into two episodes. So this one is all about TFA. Also...

Episode 40- Anti-Blackness in Medicine, Part II from 2020-07-26T18:35:33

Continuing our conversation about how awful the American healthcare system is, we talk about how trauma takes a toll on the physical body and how experiencing systemic racism is a Big T trauma. ...

Episode 39 - Punching Racism: Anti-Blackness in Medicine from 2020-07-12T11:51:14

This week we continue to put our fists through the American healthcare system. But first we gotta talk some history, particularly the medical racism surrounding the Tuskegee syphilis studies, Dr...

Episode 38 - Subtweeting Social Workers: Anti-Blackness in Mental Health from 2020-06-21T15:15:32

Okay, listen up y’all. We’re here to bitch about social workers thinking they’re above racism. You’re fucking not. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Here's a bunch of stuff we menti...

Black Lives Matter from 2020-06-04T21:35:36

Star Wars can wait: we need to talk about how Black lives matter right now.

Resources discussed in the show (plus extras) are below, but above all, listen to Black people right now. NBPOC...

Episode 37 - Sad and Horny, Part II from 2020-05-13T16:53:54

Second verse same as the first! But like. This one is way more sad than horny. Like. Really, really sad. Like. Why-do-we-have-feelings-feelings-are-mean sad. 

(This episode is about The C...

Episode 36 - Sad and Horny, Part I from 2020-05-06T16:11:50

🎶 Sad in the house and I’m in the house sad. Horny in the house and I’m in the house horny. 🎶 what’s up all you Maulfuckers its time to get sad and horny about the Siege of Mandalore while Jes...

Episode 35 - IM CRY and OH-GAY, a Clone Wars Story from 2020-04-29T19:02:08

🎶 Let’s talk about clones baby. Let’s talk about homosexuality. Let’s talk about all the good things and the sad things and hemipenes 🎶 (or: Jess and Abby talk Bad Batch and the Martez Sisters...

Episode 34 - Threepio is an MRA from 2020-04-10T15:44:34

Oh hey, it’s Tom Kane. Ackbar wants to fuck his ship. Jar-Jar gets exploded??? And General Grievous is at high risk for getting the coronavirus. That’s right bbs… it’s a Lego episode.   (Also we...

Episode 33 - Social Disty Anniversary from 2020-03-25T13:32:09

Happy anniversary to us! It’s been one whole year since we started screaming about Star Wars and putting our fists through things on the pod. And there’s no better time to celebrate it than in a...

Episode 32 - Luke's Missed Dick Appointment from 2020-03-11T19:39:35

We’re tired, there’s no news, and we procrastinate like hell. So let’s do a bunch of your suggestions for episodes! Please enjoy the amount of dick talk, cause we sure did.

Signed,

Episode 31 - It's a Fucking Hero's Journey from 2020-03-01T17:43:52

*Tom Kane voice* Discourse! Our intrepid hosts leap into the action of the bullshit surrounding Rey having fun! But not before they dive into the reveal of Project Luminous while making far too ...

Episode 30 - Literal Dickhead Man from 2020-02-05T18:07:16

The Clone Wars is coming back and so is our depression. Y’all better be ready for some sad Ahsoka content, sad clone content, and sad Jedi content. But also… Hot Ki-Adi Mundi content.

Listen

Episode 29 - But You Love Pickles, A Beautiful Love Story from 2020-01-23T21:23:43

So, we need to talk about Reylo. No, we don’t shit on the ship but y’all need to stop acting like it’s more important than racism. We put our fists through that bullshit and then A your Qs and s...

Episode 28 - Not in My Good Christian Mandalorian from 2020-01-07T00:08:40

Ash is here and chaos reigns! IG-11 is Jesus. The Mando has sexy blindfold times. Fun Vodka Aunt Cara. Blame Abby's first kiss on Veggie Tales. And Dave Filoni has ruined everything for us—inclu...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Carol from 2020-01-05T10:51:28

HAROLD! Tune in as we straight-up melt from all the gay of 2015's Oscar-bait kinda sorta not really Christmas movie, Carol! Thanks for listening along this season. We'll see you all in November 202...

Episode 27 - The Rise of Rey's Big Fat Dick from 2020-01-03T08:57:38

**THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS AHEAD*

Jaclyn’s back and with a vengeance! After a ton of technical difficulties, scheduling conflicts, and bad brain days we FINALLY get to our discussio...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: A Christmas Prince from 2019-12-25T16:29:16

Christmas time is here, happiness and cheer! Join Their Majesties, Queen Emma and Queen Abby, us they share their love of the movie series that inspired this pod, A Christmas Prince! We hope you...

Episode 26 - Fist Fist Fist!! from 2019-12-12T22:43:31

*to the tune of Shots by LMFAO* fists! Fists! Fists fists fists fists! Join us as we put our fists through Lucasfilm being cowards, refusals to recognize privilege, anti-blackness, and the treat...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: A Switch and A Knight from 2019-12-08T10:18:33

Switching places, having the same faces, and a movie that's just aces. Welcome to our double feature week where we watch The Princess Switch and The Knight Before Christmas; featuring Emma havin...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Last Christmas from 2019-12-02T20:34:13

Here's our note saying we love Last Christmas, and we meant it. Join us as we sing the praises of the sincerity and heart of this film, but mostly the praises of Michelle Yeoh. Enjoy!

Fin...

Episode 25 - Yoda Goes to the Bathroom from 2019-11-28T15:47:22

BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY YODA BABY...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: The Spirit of Christmas from 2019-11-24T16:53:37

What's historical accuracy anyway? Join Emma an Abby as they dive into The Spirit of Christmas, talk about the joys of Christmas trees, and if Ghost Dick is worth waiting for.

Find us on ...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Let it Snow from 2019-11-16T09:22:36

Snow is magical and there are way too many hills for this movie to be set in northern Illinois. Join us for a wild ride of an episode as we review the 2019 Netflix film, Let it Snow!   Find us on t...

Episode 24 - Obi-Wan and Maul Co-Parented Rey from 2019-11-15T21:05:01

Welcome to Technical Difficulties: The Podcast where discord hates us and the universe doesn’t want us to talk about Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan! But screw you, universe, we did it anyway. Also Yoda is ...

Ep. 23.5 - Lousy Rogue Sapphic: This Is Good Content from 2019-11-12T09:23:01

Once upon a time, a thirst heaux, Rogue Six, and a Sapphic got together and drank. A lot. And decided to record a podcast episode. Because what else do three podcasters do when spending a weeken...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: The Holiday Calendar from 2019-11-09T08:58:35

We kick off our first movie of the season with The Holiday Calendar starring Kat Graham, Quincy Brown, Ethan Peck, and Ron Cephas Jones! Join us as we wonder how (movie) Abby is able to afford h...

Rosé Till Christmas Day: Christmas Time Is Here from 2019-11-02T10:18:26

Welcome to Rosé Till Christmas Day! Pour yourself a glass and get to know Abby and Emma as they discuss the true meaning of Christmas and their favorite RomComs before letting you know what they...

Episode 23 - heck: how do you even title an episode like this from 2019-10-23T07:04:10

Our hearts grow three sizes while watching The Rise of Skywalker trailer. We’re bad at speculation. And what Carrie Fisher means to us. This episode was recorded on what would have been her 63rd...

Episode 22 - White Goose Feminism from 2019-10-09T21:43:28

Geese are white feminists, where the fuck is Rose Tico, and Podre Lacsap is The Mando. We answer all your questions ranging from ABBA songs to “which Rogue One character would you pick to live?”...

Episode 21 - I Love Him But F*** Him from 2019-09-25T16:11:22

Literally no one has been talking about redemption in Star Wars lately so we thought we’d bring it up! Tune in for a respectful, nuanced conversation about redemption and forgiveness. Yes, it’s ...

Episode 20 - Shut the F*** Up from 2019-09-11T23:11:15

Jess and Abby get really emotional about Jyn Erso and Rogue One. 80% of the episode is spent quoting viral videos. And somehow we get a coherent episode. Enjoy. And if you don’t… shut the fuck u...

Episode 19 - Sith Army Knife from 2019-08-27T21:17:40

Threepio has super-miniaturized Death Star tech in his eyes, fuck Boi-Wan Kenobi is back, Rey has a Sith Army Knife, and the Star Wars nightmare hotel is coming soon to a theme-park-where-they-n...

Episode 18 - Gryffindors Are Idiots from 2019-08-22T21:31:41

Two Slytherins bully some Gryffindors, Jess doesn’t remember The Muppets, and Abby’s Lion King 2 sexual awakening. Join us as we drunkenly answer your questions in our very first Q&A.

Fol...

Episode 17 - No Offense, But Actually, Offense from 2019-07-30T22:28:36

Star Wars… Assemble. What do Thor, Protector of the Lesbians, and Luke Skywalker have in common? Listen in as Jess and Abby compare and contrast the Star Wars and Marvel franchises, both within ...

Episode 16 - Putting Our Fists Through "Unlikable" Women from 2019-07-17T20:48:30

Honestly, at this point if you don’t know our brand is forever “deep stuff but also porn,” what are you even doing here? Come hang out for the unintentionally thirsty episode all about “unlikabl...

Episode 15 - So I Became His Daddy from 2019-07-09T21:39:07

We tried… so hard… not to be thirsty… but we failed. Join us for a very tipsy episode all about Alphabet Squadron! Stay tuned for our review, breakdown of the characters, and what we hope for in...

Episode 14 - Rey Has a Big Fat Dick from 2019-07-02T23:09:43

In our ever-pressing quest for deep stuff but also porn, we pop our friend Jaclyn’s podcast cherry! We talk about our LGBTQ+ headcanons and why Jaclyn is right about all of them. Plus we put our...

Episode 13 - Deep Stuff but Also Porn from 2019-06-18T22:56:57

Jess and Abby drink wine and chat with the amazing Dr. Annalise Ophelian, director of Looking for Leia. What starts as a serious discussion about respectability politics, tone policing, and ship...

Episode 12 - Vibrating Rathtars from 2019-06-13T22:58:15

It’s a crossover episode! Abby sits down with Emma and Lynn, hosts of Sapphic Skywalkers, and talk all things splesbians. Join us for a very poignant conversation on queer representation in the ...

Episode 11 - The Thirst is Strong With This One from 2019-05-29T19:30:39

So much news, so little time. But just enough time to thirst over some of our favorite characters, old and new. Join us as we break down Alphabet Squadron, the Vanity Fair article, and introduce...

Episode 10 - An Emotional Support Ewok is Just a Friend from 2019-05-21T21:49:55

We put our fists through the idea that toxic TLJ haters and people upset with GoT are one in the same. The difference between a therapy Ewok and an emotional support Ewok. And loving on Thor. Ha...

Episode 9 - Serial Killers... They Were Still Kids from 2019-05-14T22:45

We’re gonna party like it’s 1999. People, let us tell you something. If you didn’t come to celebrate the 20th anniversary of The Phantom Menace, don’t bother knockin’ on our door. Join us as we ...

Episode 8 - Jess Doesn't Like Fun from 2019-05-07T19:39:14

Join us for a chill May the Fourth episode that comes out on May the Eighth as we rank our favorite Star Wars films, talk about our favorite scenes, and discuss some of the hills we’ll die on. B...

Episode 7 - Rey is J.J.'s Self-Insert from 2019-04-30T23:15:46

Queen’s Shadow, queerbaiting, fanfic, oh my! Join us as we talk about three seemingly unrelated things that actually all work as a cohesive conversation. Come for the conversation, stay for lear...

Episode 6 - Welcome Back Papa Palpy from 2019-04-23T23:44

Strap in for our super long episode about how much we loved Celebration and all the news it gave us. Plus an emotionally driven play-by-play of the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker trailer. And ...

Bonus Episode - #SWRepMatters Panel from Star Wars Celebration Chicago 2019 from 2019-04-17T17:59:03

A panel discussion on representation and inclusion in a galaxy far, far away at Star Wars Celebration Chicago 2019! #SWRepMatters

Panel Moderator: Swara (