Mancobra - Intro - a podcast by lord gex

The date is July 15, 2040. It's a normal day for Mancobra, relaxing by the water cooler, sharing some brutal banter with his coworker Dave. But to the IRS, this is no normal day; nay, today is Tax Day. Unknown to Mancobra, today is the day that the IRS sends out their greatest assassins and warriors to bring swift justice to all who have not filed their taxes. Wielding a wicked sword in his right hand and a W-2 in his left, a warrior in gleaming white armor drops out from the ductwork and attacks Mancobra. They struggle briefly before Mancobra gains the upper hand, stripping the would-be assassin of his helmet and tearing forth his jugular with his mighty fangs. While the other workers stare in utter shock, the visceral mess of blood hardly phases Mancobra as he futilely attempts to brush the blood from his nice office clothes. It is then when Mancobra notices the bright red writing across the agent's bicep: IRS. Mancobra lifts up the body by the arm as if it was nothing and presents the marking to Dave. "Who the hell is IRS?"

"Aw man, you didn't file your taxes?"

"No, why would I pay someone to steal my money?"

The IRS agent lifts his head and points to the two with the last bit of strength he has, and speaks in a heroic voice, "You... must file your taxes... You may have bested me, but more will come... The IRS will not stop until.... justice..." and the agent falls limp in Mancobra's grasp. 

Dave giggles, "Man, the IRS is gonna kill you!"

The IRS agent lifts his head and gasps loudly, pointing now at Dave, "And you are his accomplice..." then falls limp again.

Dave exclaims, "Wait, what the hell?" He steps over to the agent and grabs him by the head, "I didn't help this guy, what are you after me for?"

Dave continues to shake the dead agent's limp dome around, frantically asking him questions before Mancobra says to him, "Uh, he's dead, Dave." It doesn't seem to get to him until Mancobra drops his corpse onto the ground. "So what, I'm just going to have IRS knights drop on to me from the ceiling for the rest of my life? Doesn't sound too bad, it gets pretty boring around here."

Dave stares down at the corpse and replies, "Nah, man, it's way worse than that. They're gonna hunt us down, man. Day and night. They know where you live, what time you go to work, everything." Dave recomposes himself and wipes the blood from his hands onto his pants, "Man, I didn't think these guys even existed anymore. Nobody ever sees them, ever since '35, when they killed all the tax evaders. Aw man, and that means we're their only target, they're gonna send everyone after us..."

"Cheer up, Dave!" Mancobra gets another paper cone from the water cooler and fills it up.

"How, man, we're both gonna die!"

"No we won't. When they come, I'll just kill them! That guy seemed pretty weak anyway, shouldn't be a problem!"

But as he finishes speaking and takes a sip of his water, an even bigger foe enters the office...

Further episodes of Mancobra

Further podcasts by lord gex

Website of lord gex