Podcasts by NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.

Further podcasts by Patrick Melton

Podcast on the topic Comedy-Interviews

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
December 11, 2023: The C Word! YouTube DELUSION Invades Joey C’s Brain! Kate Meaney Has NOTHING! from 2023-12-12T02:41:04

It's Monday, and you might be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but Patrick is reeling from some bad news he received over the weekend. Could this be the end for Patrick's poor beloved dog, Brad? And i...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
December 9, 2023: MERSH Ain’t Fat! Kate Meaney Embarrasses Herself More! Saturday Vibes! from 2023-12-10T03:28:22

The rich come out on a Saturday to pick squares and embrace possibilities. The Imholte's are in Las Vegas and the rumors are trickling in. Patrick has a challenge to issue to Aaron and April, but t...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
December 7, 2023: Kate Meaney Should RUN! Kevin Brennan MELTS DOWN In Hypocrisy! from 2023-12-08T03:28:12

Kate Meaney spent most of the night huddled over a keyboard leaving comments on yesterday's NLO show, and she has now blocked Patrick after many accusations. It's sad when a young comedian has no i...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
December 6, 2023: Someone Help Kate Meaney! Kevin Brennan is LOOSE! from 2023-12-07T03:21:17

It's another week of MLC drama, and Kevin is at the peak of his obsession with Shuli and Bob and their viewers. What is the prize that whoever wins this corner of the internet gets? Is there a plaq...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
December 4, 2023: The THACKERING Begins! Planet Goes DIRTY! Donkeylips Has BIG DREAMS! from 2023-12-04T18:43:04

It's Monday, and it's the start of a new month, and we couldn't be happier that you've decided to join us here at The Onions. Patrick went to see Adam Sandler over the weekend and aside from having...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
December 1, 2023: Extra NUTS For FRIDAY! Heather G Is About To POP! Ray Still Needs Help! from 2023-12-01T18:42:41

Happy Friday! Patrick is extending November for one more day- at least on paper. What a volatile week it's been for the whatever this is. Chad Zumock has turned out to be one of the worst actors, l...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 30, 2023: Chad Zumock DOUBLES DOWN On DUMB! from 2023-12-01T01:16:48

Chad Zumock is desperate for attention. He's an unloved alcoholic with no income, no prospects for a career, and no friends or relationships to lean on as a support system. After being arrested ove...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 28, 2023: Happy Holidays? MAYBE NOT! Back to BASIC! from 2023-11-28T23:56:28

It's Tuesday morning, and the plebs are frothing in the aisles for a new NLO. What will Patrick be mad about this morning? Will there be a classic rant against one of the fans for some minuscule re...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 27, 2023: CRANKSGIVING! Kevin Brennan Is a GRUMP, Chad Zumock Lies, SORRY! from 2023-11-27T23:41:30

Just a reminder than nobody owes you anything and Patrick isn't your real dad. You should probably find a new life with a new family. Patrick is doing a quick show to give his thoughts on the past ...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 17, 2023 – Steel Toe OWNS Chandler! Chad CRUMBLES Live! Josh Denny is LARGE Now! from 2023-11-18T01:16:35

Patrick isn't the only one making a splash in the world of Big Beautiful Podcasters. Josh Denny, currently on his nineteenth attempt at a show someone will care about and/or watch, has ballooned to...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
BONUS: Phil Elmore’s a BIG Fan! KEVIN BRENNAN Berates Shuli&Bobby! Joey C Goes TOO FAR! from 2023-11-17T20:33:55

Can you believe Kevin Brennan spends his Friday nights with a tallboy of red wine and a grin across his face as his listens to Melton in the Evenings? Tonight Patrick attempts to do a Kevin Brennan...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 16, 2023 – R-TARD THURSDAY! Steel Toe DELUSION Peaks! Old Man Brennan! CRINGE Rap Group! from 2023-11-17T04:01:41

Patrick's show rundown sheet overfloweth with many much more mopes to make mirth about! Sorry about that, but it's hard to write a description for a show that hasn't happened yet! Steel Toe is in d...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
SNIPING THE SNIPER! VOL. 1 – Can’t Wait To See His Face! from 2023-11-17T01:16:27

Chad Zumock is the Mudshark, aka The Sniper, and he's the roughest streamer there is! Unless you try to do it back to him. Then you're going to get a different guy. Ready to see what a complete bit...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 14, 2023 – Chad’s STALE Standup! Are APRIL IMHOLTE’S Bags Packed? Get K-Mart Ready! from 2023-11-15T03:50:10

Patrick has some theories and what a better place to air them out than the daily Nobody Likes Onions podcast live stream comedy program! April Imholte's anxiety is through the roof, and winter is c...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 13, 2023 – Ray Is MORE LOST Than Ever! Keith&The Girl’s NEW GRIFT! from 2023-11-14T04:00:58

Patrick is recovering from his weekend of birthday nonsense, and maybe now we can get back to normal about it. We may all have a case of the Mondays, but maybe with a little luck we can get through...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 10, 2023 – B-DAY PARTY! Patrick’s FAVORITE Clowns of 2023! P.O. Box Treasures&More! from 2023-11-10T18:50:08

Come celebrate Patrick's last day of being forty-three years old! We've got a lot of boxes and envelopes to sort through. Patrick also has some loose ends to tie up to make the week tidy. You can g...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 9, 2023 – Steel Toe Is BROKE! Ray VS. Chad BREAKDOWN! Stats, Facts, Exclusives! from 2023-11-10T03:45:39

The roast between Cleveland goons Ray DeVito and Chad Zumock has people talking, and opinions differ with varying levels of passion. One thing is for sure - we were all very entertained. Almost two...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 7, 2023 – The Roast NOBODY Asked For! Chad Is Pathetic! Ray Is Sad! from 2023-11-07T19:29:03

It's the day of the most pathetic excuse for a roast in recent comedy history. Gone are the days of respecting the craft and picking up a pen. Let the chips fall where they may when Chad Zumock and...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 6, 2023 – OPEN WIDE! Stand Up, Sit Down, Wiggle In Your Seat! Sniping and Wiping! from 2023-11-06T19:37:57

Patrick has a headache this morning, but that's not going to stop him from firing up the chat box and screaming at his Internet children! Let's explore some of the best stand up comedians taking to...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 3, 2023 – FAT FORK FRIDAY! Josh Denny, Rodney Wayne, DonkeyLips, Chad Zumock&MORE! from 2023-11-03T21:29:25

Oh, no he didn't! Patrick is making fun of fat people? What is the world coming to? Does he know he's fat? Should he be talking like that? We check in on long-time friend of the show Josh Denny to ...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
November 2, 2023 – Chad Is LAUGHABLY Serious! Tommy Is Back! Haley’s WAKE-UP Routine, A New Guy?NLO LIVE from 2023-11-02T19:28:52

You won't believe how much show Patrick is going to cram down your stupid face on today's program. On Thursday's we try to catch up with as many of the R's in our world as possible, and yet somehow...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 31, 2023 – SCARY AF: Aaron Imholte STANDUP! More PRIZE Nonsense! Get A Job, Get The Girl! from 2023-10-31T21:08:14

Happy Halloween! Boo! Spooky scary stuff is in our midst, on our minds, and maybe more! We check in on the latest iteration of the Steel Toe Morning Show "prize night" grift to see how they're doin...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 30, 2023 – Florida’s LEAST Wanted! Joey C Snaps, Mersh FISH LUNCH Art Contest from 2023-10-30T19:32:13

Good Mooby Monday, friends! Let's check in with Minnesota's favorite married misery couple, Aaron and April Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning Show! What is the cognitive dissonance that looms over M...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
STEVIE LEW vs. CAT FOOD! A Real Fight Between Real Guys! from 2023-10-27T21:23:34

Our boy Stevie Lew is all grown up, and he's fighting some guy named Ryan Cat Food! Why? I'm not sure. There's some beef, and it can only be handled by stepping in to a padded square and physically...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 27, 2023 – Kevin Brennan “WINS” Ray From Shuli! What Say You? from 2023-10-27T19:32:06

Happy Friday, fellow Earth-dwellers! So much has happened over the last couple of days, we've got to throw out the bath water and change the gender of this whole baby! Kevin Brennan has unleashed r...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 26, 2023 – It’s THARRRRSDAY! Steel Toe Cope! EVERYONE Is Using Ray! from 2023-10-26T15:37:53

Happy Thursday, you little speckles of fun! Patrick has to do a shorter show today because of a very serious appointment he has this morning. That means he's probably going to be grumpy and you sho...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
BONUS: Kevin Brennan BULLIES Ray Devito! Will He Turn? Chad Zumock is EMPTY Headed! from 2023-10-25T19:31:58

What's up everyone! This isn't a show. This is just a stream. Let's watch some idiots. Let's see how fast we can make Chad run out of steam and run offline! Will the power go out? How about the int...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 24, 2023 – Being a LEXUS Guy, Bower is REBOOTING, Have a Slice for Training Tuesday! from 2023-10-24T15:37:41

Patrick is a Lexus guy now, so you're going to need to show some appropriate respect when you address him from now on. Who knew cars could do all this stuff! What will they think of next! Summer Si...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 23, 2023 – Brennan Can’t Focus, Fan FREAKOUT, Gillespie Q&A, Steel Toe’s Latest Event from 2023-10-24T01:41:27

Good Mooby Monday, my little porcelain pirates! Drop your kids off at the pool and grab some coffee and some fuel! It's NLO for your big phat phanny! Patrick is probably going to get a Lexus but it...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 19, 2023 – Steel Toe Is QUITTING! Angie Krum Readies a NEW Show, Keanu Is a SITTING DUCK from 2023-10-19T16:59:40

On Thursdays, NLO gives thanks to the gods above for bestowing upon us a bounty of idiots to comb through. Angie Krum has been quietly headlining some of the crappiest Vegas gigs while secretly pre...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 17, 2023 – STEEL TOE Has a GROSS Penis! Derek Savage Wants You ARMED! Training Tuesday! from 2023-10-17T17:03:44

Leave the Dabbleverse behind and join Patrick on a magical carpet ride, touring nuts from far and wide and allowing you to forget the same old rehashed nonsense. Patrick thinks the Derek Savage ATM...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 16, 2023 – BON DIA! Comedy Shaman is LOOSE! Summer Was BORN To Sing! Another Missed Goal! from 2023-10-17T00:23:51

Happy Monday, fellow nerds! Patrick covered a podcast by the Comedy Shaman aka Put Down The Pork Pete aka Clay Combing Through Career Options and it did not sit well with the man. While Comedy Sham...

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Members Only – Comedy Shaman Debuts&Quits NLO – October 14, 2023 from 2023-10-14T15:08:58

It’s Saturday night and the mood is right! Join Patrick and a chat room full of weird degenerates as they reinvent super stickers, get closure on Jared’s dog and so much more! We watch our buddy an...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 13, 2023 – SCARY! Friday the 13th, Chad Is CHOKING, P.O. Box Treasures from 2023-10-14T00:35:19

Hello, fellow humans and others in their midst! It's Friday, and we've got some many misfits to study in our hopper today. Chad Zumock is quickly undoing his entire persona - OGAIN - to get back in...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 12, 2023 – R-TARDS UNITE! KC Armstrong is WORSE Than We Thought, Joey C Is An Italian Clown from 2023-10-13T02:36:11

Patrick is trying to recover from a week of neglecting his show duties and entertaining Moody. Sure, it may not be Moody's fault that the shows are late on the podcast feed, or the thumbnails and d...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 11, 2023 – Moody Goes Bye Bye! Steel Toe’s Aaron Imholte Is a Blind Meanie! from 2023-10-12T00:35:04

This is not a show. Come say goodbye to Moody before he heads off to LA to go to Disneyland, and then heads back to Kiwi Country! What has Moody learned? Does he know what a diner is? What about hi...

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October 10, 2023 – DonkeyLips Is Lazy&Scared of NLO! New Levy Launch! Waffe House Whiz Kid! from 2023-10-11T00:34:56

Another day, another kiwi. Moody joins Patrick again after another exciting day experiencing everything Las Vegas has to offer. We have important NLO business to discuss. Patrick promises not to ba...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 9, 2023 – NOTHING CHANGES! Moody&Patrick’s EPIC Flat Earth Argument, Steel Toe Lady Show from 2023-10-10T00:34:45

Patrick's friend and beloved chat room moderator joins Patrick in Las Vegas for some shows. Both of them are full and in pain from a night of eating delicious steaks downtown, but they've strapped ...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 8, 2023 – THEY’RE QUITTING! Ray Can’t Stop Drinking, Steel Toe ADMITS April is Useless from 2023-10-09T00:14:30

It's SUNDAY NIGHT, so you should be prepared for another week of weird shows at weird times. Don't complain, just adjust your expectations and relax baybeeeee! Moody is here and the pork jib is up!...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 5, 2023 – R-TARD THURSDAY! Failed Comedienne Fixes YOUR Finances! from 2023-10-06T01:31:25

Patrick's schedule is ALL WONKY for the next week or so, and you'll just have to deal with it. The internet is a fickle mistress, and her shows are not relegated to your temporal bounding boxes, hu...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 4, 2023 – BONUS! Shuli Shop Accusations! Ray Is TRULY LOST! Joey C Lives Above a Strip Mall! from 2023-10-04T15:44:37

A customer from the Shuli Network shop makes some heavy allegations against Patrick. Patrick doesn't know who these nuts are, but they seem to be interested in some guy names Brent and his wife doi...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
October 3, 2023 – Fans Are Getting INSANE! Summer Sinclair BOMBS! Melton MELTDOWN! from 2023-10-04T00:14:23

Come join Patrick and a cast of puppet characters as they act out the entire Wizard of Oz! You're going to love the way Dorothy sings the hits! Seriously grab a Starburst and sit grandma by the air...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 29, 2023 – Kevin Brennan HATES Truth, Ray Spins Facts, Mandatory Employee Training from 2023-10-02T15:50:33

It's Friday in Las Vegas, and the end of September is nigh. So much has happened this week, both good and bad, and Patrick thinks everyone could use a super-sized palate cleanser to start the weeke...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 28, 2023 – The Show You ALL Deserve! from 2023-09-28T15:04:49

As the sun rises over Las Vegas and Patrick ascends his podcasting throne, an unsettling mood descends on the land. On an R-Tard Thursday like this, we should be focusing on those around us that ma...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 26, 2023 – Rob Saul Fires Allegations, Chris ENABLES, Shuli LIES About Patrick Live! from 2023-09-26T15:07:42

There's some static in the air, and Patrick wants to be the dryer sheet that relieves you of all that tension. Comedian and dog-semen-extractor Rob Saul has gone public with some gossip, appearing ...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 25, 2023 – OLD MAN Brennan Needs Clues! Congrats Geno&Kiki! Chad Zumock Is a ZILCH! from 2023-09-25T17:15

What a weekend, and what a life! Congratulations to Geno and his lady for getting engaged, although this means Geno is no longer single, and therefore not available for Aaron and April to have a th...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
VIOLENT Vegas Comic BUTCH BRADLEY Pulls Gun On Girlfriend!? from 2023-09-22T07:51:22

Comedian Butch Bradley went on the Misery Loves Company podcast with Kevin Brennan recently to tell his version of what happened in the past with Patrick. In the process, he publicly slandered Patr...

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September 22, 2023 – The FUTURE Is BLEAK! Chad Zumock, Donkeylips&Steel Toe Are SUNSETTING! from 2023-09-22T07:47:30

Happy Friday, mortals! Come with us this blessed day and rejoice in the fact that your life is not hurling down a hallway of despair with limited options on the horizon. Chad Zumock can't see the e...

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September 21, 2023 – Chad Zumock’s SAD World, Ray Devito ENABLED Again! from 2023-09-22T05:15:36

We are blessed this morning with a tree that has so much fruit on it, it's hard to tell which delicious, succulent piece to grab first. Chad Zumock is melting down. The reports are coming in far an...

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September 19, 2023 – CHAD ZUMOCK Is Big Mad! This Cleveland Has-Been Can’t Stop Lying! from 2023-09-19T23:56:03

Chad Zumock is a mudshark with no place to go! Watch as the Z-Man panics and attacks one of his most ardent admirers and lashes out to control the narrative! Chad Zumock is desperate to not let peo...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 18, 2023 – Steel Toe Blames EVERYONE ELSE! Ray’s Regressions, PO Box&More! from 2023-09-19T00:16

It's been awhile since we checked in on everyone's favorite Minnesota morning morons, Aaron Imholte and his slave wife April. With declining numbers, and the goal getting further and further out of...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 15, 2023 – RECALIBRATE! Patrick Ain’t Well, Ray DeVito CANNOT Follow ANYTHING! from 2023-09-15T07:51:37

Another week, and there's just not enough hours in the day to comb through the mental illness on the internet! But we are here for it if you are, so let's just make the most of it! Patrick has a he...

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
September 14, 2023 – INSANE Gun Safety Video, Replay It Again, MAN! from 2023-09-15T04:52:38

When will this week be over! Jkjkjk we are having a good time over here. Patrick can prove it by ranting about a bunch of stupid things right off the top! Ray DeVito is having some kind of breakdow...

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September 12, 2023 – LOST LADIES of Las Vegas, Puppet Love, Patrick Tests Live! from 2023-09-12T14:30:59

Happy FRIDAY! Join Patrick in putting a tight bow on this weeks mayhem. We have an art contest today, and it's sure to make KC Armstrong squirm in his pantaloons! We want to see your best homo-erot...

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September 11, 2023 – TWIN TOWERS of Comedy! Thai Rivera KILLS His Dog, Ray DeVito from 2023-09-12T04:58:45

It's September 11th, and we should never forget what those one guys did to us that one time in New York. You think traffic is bad on a normal Tuesday? PLEASE! Let's have a moment of silence for Ray...

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September 8, 2023 – Alex Stein STOOPS To Zumock, DonkeyLips Excuses Ahoy, Patrick ATTACKS Shuli from 2023-09-08T14:30:38

It's been a week of wild twists and turns, and the rumors are more interesting than the truth. Patrick helps the haters focus on the real issues. Michael Ray Bower has still not answered Patrick's ...

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September 7, 2023 – When Clippers Go CRINGE! Ray Brings The Women! from 2023-09-07T14:30:30

Rumors are swirling that Drunk on Cringe is a GONER! All of his social media, his YouTube channel and his website have vanished. There's even an announcement of his DEMISE from his poor, fat German...

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BONUS SHOW – TommyNC2010 Calls In! from 2022-04-18T19:46:58

BONUS SHOW! Patrick fires up the stream to hang with the common people, and see what there is to catch up on in the world of freaks and Greeks! Patrick is surprised that Keith and the Girl are stil...

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NLO 1414: Return of the Rick’s from 2022-04-17T16:33:44

Patrick has been going back and forth with a dentist all week to get his teeth right. It's a cautionary tale to those of you who may still have time to save your chompers. Rick's returns to sponsor...

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BONUS SHOW – April 6,2022 from 2022-04-08T18:35:55

You've been such well-behaved children that Patrick is doing a bonus program! Patrick is being assaulted by some lady in the chat who can't decide if Patrick is hot or toxic. We explore the latest ...

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NLO 1413: Go To Your Room from 2022-04-03T06:00:40

but Patrick will stumble through a show with a painful temporary crown just to bring you the hot tea. Thai Rivera is texting friends frantically, trying to find a place to live for the second time ...

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NLO 1412: Doggy Door Drunk from 2022-03-24T08:18:19

Patrick is back after weeks of not doing shows, and while he was a little under the weather, he isn't going to use that as an excuse. The truth is, sometimes a man has to step away from the digital...

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NLO 1411: Crossing David from 2022-03-17T16:22:02

Patrick is back after a week of lethargy and food-borne illness. Vomiting on your dog can be therapeutic, if anyone is asking. David Cross is mad at Patrick about a tweet, and it did not go well. P...

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NLO 1410: Recalibrating Rogan from 2022-02-23T19:44:15

Let's have a SUNDAY FUNDAY! Patrick is triggered, but so is the rest of the internet. Let's have some sips of weeds, smoke some fizzy lifting drinks, and get in to it. How fast will Patrick become ...

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NLO 1409: R3C0V3RY+ from 2022-02-08T17:14:33

Patrick has been to the edge of 0MiCR0N and returned to tell the tale! He can't breathe - go easy on him! There's an awful rumor about Patrick going around. Patrick admits he may have been wrong ab...

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SPECIAL EVENT: Bubbles in Vegas! from 2022-01-12T01:15

What is happening in Las Vegas comedy? While most of the community is positive and encouraging, a few bad apples keep spoiling the bunch. Who is responsible for all the Vegas comedy drama? What rum...

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NLO 1408: Trolls and Tables from 2022-01-06T00:23:56

Happy 2022! Alex "Kool Aid" Ansel is in studio. Betty White didn't make it, but we all did. We have a new character in the chat named Concerned Troll, but he doesn't seem to be able to communicate ...

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NLO 1407: Clawee from 2021-12-22T21:52:41

It's the week before Christmas, but as an adult, how much should you care? Do you have kids? Do you have them go to a mall and sit on Santa's lap? Seems like some sick, weird stuff. You better not ...

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NLO 1406: All Dogs Have Dreams from 2021-12-03T22:51:01

Patrick didn't want this show to be like this, but sometimes you can't control the direction of a circus. Patrick reveals a recent issue he's been having in bed. No, not like that. But it involves ...

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NLO 1405: Goodluck N from 2021-11-23T16:38:17

Patrick is completing his transition, and not one of the fun ones where you end up with a shiny new reproductive organ. He's completing his transition in to a childless father. A dad in spirit, if ...

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NLO 1404: A Wristed Development from 2021-11-15T17:55:24

Patrick has been taking the week before his birthday to relax and float about in his newly installed swim spa. The bubbly warm waters flowing over a boy's parts is rejuvenating to no end. Ask someo...

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NLO 1403: Spa Sabotage from 2021-11-06T08:07

Patrick is back from the road, has stories about it, and has some new steam to vent about his recent white people problem. Patrick recounts his drive from Oklahoma back to Las Vegas, powered by a c...

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NLO 1402: Checking Chad from 2021-10-22T20:16:51

Patrick is on the road, and that means less frequent podcasts, slower uploads, and disgruntled listeners everywhere. It's ok, kids. You'll be fine. More shows are on the way. On this episode, Patri...

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Aftershow 1401: Trouble in Thai-land! from 2021-10-10T16:39

Patrick is headed to Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas, but before he goes, it feels like we should at least cover the latest insanity rising up out of the sweltering sewer that is Las Vegas comedy. Le...

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NLO 1401: Boobies&The Blowfish from 2021-10-05T07:05:48

Patrick wants you to subscribe and follow his standup YouTube channel for a project he will be doing all October long, writing new bits and uploading successes and failures along the way. Patrick t...

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NLO 1400: Hilton, Horns&Honey Boy from 2021-09-15T00:48:19

Patrick is back after struggling to get the studio PC up and running for four days. He is in a surly mood after having his beard lopped off with no warning. Things didn't get much better with his a...

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NLO 1398: Eat the Homeless from 2021-09-03T20:04:34

Patrick is back from NYC and he's seen enough of your world to know he doesn't want to be in it. Somehow this show dips it's toes in to the icy waters of politics and doomsday again. with even more...

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NLO Classic: Heavy Dooty (Show 764) from 2021-08-27T14:55:06

CHRIS FAIRBANKS is here and he’s giving us the low-down on whether Ellen seems like a nice person or not, and also offering up theories on how weird porno works. BRIAN KING is also in the studio, a...

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NLO 1397: For The Greater Good from 2021-08-18T17:01:44

Patrick can't seem to get it together. He's got things to rant about. He has opinions on things from an old friend's newest podcast to some racist job ads he saw recently. He wants to brag about th...

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NLO 1396: Pellet Girl from 2021-08-06T03:03:21

Patrick wants to have a late night chat with you, the fans. It's time to get away from all the hustle and bustle of the comedy drama and focus on the things that matter in life - dad living. Patric...

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NLO 1395: Unwell, Unwell, Unwell from 2021-08-04T02:07:50

s Vegas is heating up, and the smoking embers of bridges here in the comedy scene can be observed from miles around. Nobodies are starting new drama, bored weirdos are making big accusations, and t...

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NLO 1394: Gossip Brunch from 2021-07-20T16:26:54

Patrick sits down on a Sunday to have a little hang with you, the loyal listener. Patrick gabs with the chat a bit, as there's quite a bit going on that's grinding his gears. Patrick is sipping on ...

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NLO 1393: Fat Pat NLO Sucks from 2021-07-14T19:30:33

Alex Ansel joins Patrick in the studio to talk about everything from gaming to feuds in the Las Vegas comedy community. The show starts out with a real downer note. Patrick wants to be transparent ...

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Watching the Throne (Part 1 of 3) from 2021-07-14T07:46:32

A comedic review of the latest KING of comedy in Las Vegas. This one is a great tale from the C, and so many people helped provide insight in to the story being woven for your absolute amusement an...

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NLO 1392: No More Mr. Nice Thai from 2021-07-02T18:41:41

Thai Rivera issues a copyright strike on Nobody Likes Onions, and Patrick has been itching to share the latest regarding Thai's super-unbothered attempt to crush free speech. Patrick outlines his p...

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NLO 1391: Going Down In Smoke from 2021-06-21T16:37:32

Thai Rivera is smoking or snorting more of whatever he smokes or snorts than usual. In this show, Patrick details this insane man's plan to take Las Vegas by storm with a residency show that promis...

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NLO 1390: Pawn Protocol from 2021-06-09T15:41:01

Chef is back to check on the show he helped grow so many years ago, and his curmudgeonly attitude is still oozing from his pores. Patrick and Chef walk down podcast memory lane a little, and discus...

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NLO 1389: Comedy Whistleblowers (Part 1) from 2021-05-26T16:08:09

Patrick is back to go over some of the stories he meant to cover in the previous show. Crazy Joe derailed the programming a bit, so today you get leftovers. Patrick is happy to be out in society wi...

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NLO 1388: Pawtistic from 2021-05-18T23:33:06

Patrick has serious concerns about the dog he has allowed in to his home and heart. How do you know when it's time to give up and just put it outside in the dirt? Seriously? This show starts out no...

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NLO 1387: Crypto Crybabies from 2021-05-10T19:35

Comedian Scott Bowser is in studio for the first time in almost seven years. While he's taken a break from standup for awhile, he has found a new love for podcasting. Patrick laments at how easy it...

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NLO 1386: Discount Doodle from 2021-05-04T21:26:15

Patrick is fully vaccinated and can now eat dog, and he got a new Goldendoodle puppy just to test the theory. Listen to the harrowing tale of how Patrick hunted and finally got a great deal on a po...

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NLO 1385: Comedy Kings&Curry Queens from 2021-04-21T05:23:56

Alex "KOOL-AID" Ansel joins Patrick in the studio for the first time since the pandemic rained down it's prolonged hiatus on fun and social interaction. Both of them are scheduled to get their seco...

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NLO 1384: Trippin’ With Thai from 2021-04-14T01:23:52

Patrick is joined by comedians George White and Adam Dominguez as they recount the tale of going on the road with Thai about a year ago. Was he a nice man? Was he fair and super sweet? Find out on ...

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NLO 1383: Umm, Bothered from 2021-04-09T00:00:28

Thai Rivera is back at it again, trying to explain away the same altercations for the third show in a row. This one is a LOLlercoaster of emotion, as Thai can't decide whether or not he wants to ma...

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NLO 1382: Getting Gooky from 2021-04-07T15:45:25

Patrick is joined in the studio by comedian Matt Markman, who has the honor of being the first guest in our new studio. Matt is vaccinated, and Patrick recently had his first shot of the Pfizer sho...

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NLO 1381: THAI RIVERA vs. TRIXX Full Breakdown from 2021-04-07T09:11:44

Joke thievery is no laughing matter! The Las Vegas comedy scene is spicy, and most of the bickering centers around everybody's favorite drama donut, Thai Rivera, accusing Canadian comedian Trixx of...

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NLO 1380: Recalibrate Your Crazy from 2021-03-29T03:22:58

It's another weekend in Las Vegas, and the streets are sizzling with sweet, sweet comedy drama. In this show, Patrick share some great news from his HOA. He grapples with the prospect of getting th...

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NLO 1379: Pure Hate from 2021-03-22T23:19:56

Patrick continues bitching about the woes of home ownership, including a recent faucet repair and more HOA drama. He also recently found himself furniture shopping and purchasing some sofas from a ...

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NLO 1378: Ban Basil from 2021-03-17T19:57

Patrick begins the show with anger about a pizza he ordered that got delivered with a bushel of basil, and he's not really a basil man. But seriously, take a bite out of this hot gardening talk. Th...

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NLO 1377: Build a Bubble from 2021-03-04T22:15

Patrick starts the show out with a mini rant about Twitch and their weird mechanisms for creators. A string of rapid subscription triggers something called a hypetrain, and that seems inappropriate...

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NLO 1376: Phantoms&Feet from 2021-02-26T05:59:15

Patrick has been working hard on rearranging the studio, hanging lights and other show paraphernalia from the rafters. With only a trusty drill, sorry, impact driver, in one hand and the other one ...

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NLO 1375: Stonky Kong from 2021-02-18T22:35:33

Patrick is settling in to the new studio, and while there's still a lot of adjustments to make, there's even more crap to talk about that's happened in the past couple of months. Patrick has finall...

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NLO 1374: What’s Poppin’? from 2021-02-04T22:07

Patrick goes over the drama that has unfolded over the past day regarding Thai Rivera and the Savage A.F. podcast. Black Pedro blocks the NLO instagram account for no reason and refuses to answer a...

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NLO 1373: Thai VS. Shang (The Cringening) from 2021-02-02T23:11:11

Patrick is back after an extended hiatus while building out the new studio. Bear with the subpar sound on this one while we dial everything back in. Thai Rivera is back and this time he's guesting ...

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NLO 1372: Bitch Made Vegas from 2021-01-06T09:26:16

Patrick has taken a poll on instagram about Las Vegas comedians, and he's been getting some strange messages. How deep do the secrets of the Las Vegas comedy scene go? Will we ever know? Are some g...

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NLO 1371: Thief&The Girl from 2020-12-30T08:50:46

Patrick gets an email that starts his entire day down a trail of podcasting history. Keith and the Girl, one of the first podcasts when we started back in 2005, is back at it with their old tricks....

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NLO 1370: Dear David from 2020-12-08T17:37:39

Patrick has been troubled lately. Spirits. Ghouls. Ghosts. Geists. Goblins. A boy has been walking around Patrick's house, taunting him with hisses in the night and scurrying from room to room. We ...

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NLO 1369: Dranksgiving from 2020-11-30T20:32:09

Patrick gathers all the people from around the internet who want to escape from their families in to one chat room to guilt eat and cry. Patrick is getting close to signing on his new house, and ha...

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NLO 1368: Hubblicious from 2020-11-23T23:24:59

Patrick is sick once again and is paranoid about the coronavirus again. The studio is about to be wrecked as Patrick's landlord finally agreed to install some auxiliary air conditioners. He's also ...

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NLO 1367: The Big 41 from 2020-11-22T07:30:20

It's Patrick's birthday, and although he appreciates the love and gifts from those who have gathered. Enough is enough. Some people don't understand what gifts are good, and what gifts are chores. ...

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NLO 1366: Warbly Porker from 2020-11-20T20:55:24

Patrick is balls deep in the house buying process, and the stress is beginning to take it's toll. He's intimidated by the prospect of taking on the project of installing a pool in his back yard, an...

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Election Night 2020 Pt. 1: Cis is Sus from 2020-11-13T23:43:16

Patrick straps in for a long day and night of uncertainty and civil unrest. Armed only with weed and a limited knowledge of how the election process works on the whole, and joined by a band of sava...

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NLO 1362: Know What I Meme from 2020-11-09T20:50:18

Welcome to morning hot talk with the bow boys. Patrick welcomes you to Gum Club and talks about how all the gum comes from like two companies, collectively known as Big Gum. Gum Club is sponsored b...

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NLO 1361: A Pools Errand from 2020-11-05T22:19:48



Patrick is kicking off his day with coffee and an apology to Breonna Taylor. Patrick’s latest foray in to trying to buy a house has failed again due to a poor inspection that revea...

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NLO 1360: Cooking Without Gas from 2020-10-25T07:26:55



Patrick is back from doing shows on the road and is back to hunting for a house. It’s not been going well, but he has an offer in on a new place that is pretty sweet, but it’...

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NLO 1359: Little Rock Landry from 2020-10-13T19:28:42



Patrick sits down with everyones favorite wannabe city councilperson/comedian/activist/grumpy old man, Landry Miller. Landry was good enough to put aside his general disdain for people l...

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NLO 1358: Farts and Minds from 2020-09-30T20:42:21

Patrick has just finished up a week of work in Tulsa and sits down with comedian Scott Schaffer to bitch about these kids today. Progressing in to straight-up "get off my lawn" territory, the two d...

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NLO 1357: The Money Pit from 2020-09-29T04:51:17



Patrick is joined by Roy Johnson in an on-location show from Tulsa, Oklahoma after finishing a week of shows. Patrick hasn’t been on stage in over six months, and is also paralyzed...

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NLO 1356: For Heaven’s Sake from 2020-09-24T05:49:50



Patrick is excited about the possibility of pivoting to a gamers only podcast. We are proud to announce that we are the only podcast with GeForce RTX graphics. That can’t be, can i...

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NLO 1354: It’s Electric! from 2020-09-17T17:59:39



Patrick has been busy but that’s not going to stop him from bitching about everything under the sun. SUBtember is here at Twitch so that seems very to tell people about continuousl...

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NLO 1353: Malaween from 2020-09-08T21:56:44



Patrick is back as promised to continue trying to explore other options in the Onionsphere. Patrick has used three cans of hairspray to both illustrate how long it’s been since he&...

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NLO 1352: Gone In 267 Milliseconds from 2020-09-04T01:43:11



This show is an attempt to make everyone happy. We are taking a break from the latest trend of T2 tirades. So much in this show! Patrick talks too much about graphics cards. The final so...

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NLO 1351: SpYdaKiLLaH from 2020-08-31T23:46:51



Patrick continues going over the latest and greatest video podcast from Thai Rivera, Brough to us by the guys he has fooled down at Virtual Vegas studios. While exploring Thai’s si...

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NLO 1350: What’s the Bit? from 2020-08-30T07:20:59



Patrick is taking it upon himself to make this episode be the one that really humanizes himself to you all. Before moving on to everything he thinks is wrong with everyone else, he wants...

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NLO 1349: F.E.A.R. from 2020-08-26T07:26:31



Patrick is spiraling hard and there is no telling where this show is headed from right out of the gate. The entire weekend was filled with updates for the studio, including cabling, grap...

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NLO 1348: Thai Polar from 2020-08-22T09:34:06



It’s a new dawn and that means a bunch of new things that will probably just make us a combination of depressed and anxious, with a side of outrage. Patrick is going off on ANOTHER...

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NLO 1346: Bad3 from 2020-08-18T08:16:05



The gay giving tree that is Thai Rivera has birthed us a new comedian jester to keep our eyes on, Trez Mala. Patrick took years of Spanish in high school. so he’s pretty sure that ...

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NLO 1345: Thai Fighter from 2020-08-15T10:22:58



It’s a new day and a new podcast from our favorite tiny Mexican comedian impersonator, Thai Rivera, has just hit the sound clouds. We kick off the show with technical difficulties ...

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NLO 1344: Thai-fecta! from 2020-08-14T19:07:23



Patrick continues Thai-rlessly going over the minutia of an insane narcissist while he tells some amazing tales. We have all the hot thai’kes you can handle, and plenty of puns to ...

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NLO 1343: Vibes and Tribes from 2020-08-11T09:34:49



We are continuing with HOUR 3 of the breakdown of Thai Rivera’s latest podcast, and it’s slow going because there’s a lot to dissect. Thai begins his podcast by thankin...

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NLO 1342: Tale as Old as Thai from 2020-08-10T18:40:56



Apple has finally announced new iMacs and Patrick couldn’t press order fast enough, despite bezels. Patrick is furious that he has to broadcast on both Facebook and Twitch today be...

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NLO 1341: Unmasked from 2020-08-09T02:51:50



Patrick is frustrated because he’s struggled to get the stream live again after an onslaught of attacks. Someone out there is really upset about the live stream and wants it shut d...

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NLO 1340: Thai, Thai AGAIN! from 2020-08-05T22:37:36



The well of inadequacy that is Thai Rivera seems to have no bottom, and Patrick seems to be fine with that fact. After a trip to Costco, Patrick returns to chat about Thai’s latest...

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NLO 1339: Thai Buffet from 2020-07-31T20:51:52



When will the onslaught of Thai content cease? I don’t see an end to it any time soon, as long as he keeps cranking out gay gold. Patrick is back after a problem being DDOS attacke...

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NLO 1338: Lessons From Lane from 2020-07-31T06:24:47



This show should have been so much longer, but the alt-right libtards and their vicious team of tea party Q-Anon antifa activists have prevented it. On this show we talk about an old-sch...

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NLO 1337: UNBOTHERED! from 2020-07-25T07:37:20



This Thai Rivera thing was supposed to be over, but Patrick just can’t help himself when it comes to trying to unravel the distorted mental map of a mad man. Dual scourge of the ga...

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NLO 1336: Pool Aid from 2020-07-23T08:52:25



Patrick fires up the stream to hang with Alex Ansel and discuss all the recent goings on in the United States of Terror. Patrick is seriously contemplating moving when his lease is up, a...

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NLO 1335: Pizza-Off 2020 from 2020-07-19T07:51:20



Roy Johnson connects from Tulsa to try to pretend that the world isn’t meaningless once again. But this time it should be easier, because we’ve got pizza. Lots and lots of pi...

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NLO 1334: Cryptic Shade from 2020-07-17T09:55:50



This show is a brave message to those out there who have to deal with bullying on an everyday basis. Patrick woke up to find himself being told of a lack of approval about a Facebook pos...

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NLO 1333: Currncelled from 2020-07-12T08:44:39



Patrick is melting in to a reality that he doesn’t agree with, and you’re gonna hear all about it on this show. There’s a lot of yelling, and the show was not recorded ...

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NLO 1332: Simon Says from 2020-07-06T20:13:55



Patrick is up in the middle of the night to connect with comedian George Dimarelos in Melbourne, Australia. George gives Patrick the honest truth about what the rest of the world thinks ...

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NLO 1331: Swabs and Slobs from 2020-07-02T20:05:53



It’s a tense morning here at the Onions studio, and Patrick is preparing to go for an examination that could change the course of the show forever. This could be the last time you ...

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NLO 1330: Fireworks & Furloughs from 2020-06-29T08:06:02



Patrick is drinking for the first time in about a month, and Roy Johnson joins in from Tulsa. It’s late on a Friday, it’s hot in the desert, and it feels like the world is en...

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NLO 1329: Pizza Stoned from 2020-06-25T03:36:31



Roy Johnson checks in from Tulsa to take us on another Uber Eats adventure, and this time we are having Outback Steakhouse. G’day, dopes! Patrick doesn’t really know what to ...

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NLO 1328: Are You OK? from 2020-06-12T11:13:48



Patrick has fallen victim to the worst attack of depression known to man, and only yelling seems to help. Patrick is tapping out and drinking up. Scotch. At 10am. The world has gone craz...

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PM in the AM – Fri, May 22, 2020 from 2020-05-29T00:32:03

PM in the AM is back and so are America's gangsters. Patrick talks about the reopening of casinos, and two shootings this week that prove we are getting back to normality. Patrick doesn't understan...

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The 420 Awards (2020) from 2020-05-24T04:07:15

It's that time of year again - the grass couldn't be greener for this years 420 Awards, super not-live from Las Vegas, NV. Moody joins Patrick from New Zealand to watch and provide commentary of th...

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NLO 1327: Flat Earth Clues from 2020-05-20T02:27:41



Patrick catches up with his old pal Shooby in this continuation of podcasting remotely. We find out what Shooby has been up to during the coronavirus lockdown in his home of San Fransisc...

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NLO 1326: Irish You Were Here from 2020-05-06T11:20



Irish comedian Conor Drum zoom in (if that’s a verb) from London to enjoy some drinks and solve some problems. Patrick met Conor through mutual friends last year in Edinburgh, and ...

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