Dads, Boys,&Masculinity - a podcast by Janet Allison, Jennifer LW Fink

Dads need to help boys understand and shape masculinity.

In years past, fathers were often "there, but not there," according to Craig Wilkinson, a dad of two and founder of Father a Nation, a South African nonprofit that addresses gender-based violence, crime and fatherlessness by restoring and equipping  men to be nation-builders, fathers and role models. Dads focused on providing for their families, as that's what they were taught. They didn't engage emotionally because their parents didn't emotionally engage with them -- and because few people recognized fathers' role in the emotional development of children.

Now we know that fathers are critically important to their children's well-being -- to the world's well-being.

"Boys look to older men to model for them how to be a man," Craig says. The question boys are often asking (whether they verbalize it or not) is Am I man enough? Do I have what it takes? When boys aren't taught to harness their strength and drives, they may behave in ways that harm themselves and others. But "if a boy is seen and validated...and taught to use his drives and his strengths for good, there's no need for him to hurt himself or misuse his strength in any way," Craig says.

Consistently "being there" for our boys is key.

"If they consistently know you are there and the door's open, they will come," Craig says. "They will come." Parents, he says, need to "Be there. Be present, be engaged, be there."


In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Craig discuss:

The changing role of fathers
Finding male mentors
What boys and girls need from dads
Counteracting mixed messages about masculinity
Supporting boys through puberty
How moms can facilitate father/son relationships
Signaling your availability to your son (even if you don't live with him)
Making micro-connections
A human-first approach

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:
craigwilko.com -- Craig's website; includes links to his books

Father a Nation -- includes link to free online course, No Excuse for Abuse: Why Gender-Based Violence Happens and How We Can Stop It

The 12 Dad Verbs 

Mathew Blades on Healing Generational Trauma -- ON BOYS podcast

Love Bridges: Why Moments of Micro-Connection Matter, by Maggie Dent
Need help with your boys?
Subscribe to Jen’s newsletter, Building Boys Bulletin

Join Janet Allison’s real-time, monthly group coaching program, Decoding Your Boy 
Sponsor Spotlight: Q for Quinn
Sensory-friendly organic cotton socks for kids (and grown-ups!)

Use the ONBOYS coupon code  to SAVE 10% off your order
Sponsor Spotlight: NextGenMen
Use the ON BOYS coupon code to save 15% on their Raising Next Gen Men e-course

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
* Check out BetterHelp and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com/
* Check out ByHeart and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: https://byheart.com/


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Further episodes of ON BOYS Podcast

Further podcasts by Janet Allison, Jennifer LW Fink

Website of Janet Allison, Jennifer LW Fink