Podcasts by Overcoming Betrayal

Overcoming Betrayal

The Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction podcast, featuring Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami VerHelst, presents a conversational Q&A style discussion drawn from listener questions about sex and porn addictions, infidelity, cheating, and hard work required to heal relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob and Tami are very good at engaging people struggling with painful life issues in a useful, respectful way. They also invite you to join them on their live weekly webinar (Mondays, 5 p.m. Pacific at https://bit.ly/DrRobandTami), where they answer questions live Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 30-year licensed therapist, a PhD sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. Tami is Chief Relationships Officer for Seeking Integrity LLC. Tami brings over 40 years of personal addiction knowledge, helping supply struggling individuals and couples with the resources and direction they need to heal.

Further podcasts by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst

Podcast on the topic Sexualität

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Betrayed Me And Yet Believes All The Flirting He Does Is Completely Innocent! from 2023-12-07T19:53:05

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how an addict might be skirting the boundaries with his betrayed wife. Is flirtation seen as an active addiction, especially when the addict does it when hi...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Feels So Uncomfortable In Recovery. Will It Get Better? from 2023-11-30T18:09:42

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about why someone might feel uncomfortable in recovery. A betrayed spouse was asked by her addict to join a couple’s support group, but after all the positive pra...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Have a Restraining Order. Is There Any Hope He’ll Ever Stop Using? from 2023-11-23T05:00

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse in her 50s. She has been a stay-at-home mother for 23 years and is having a tough time reconciling the ending of the relations...

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Overcoming Betrayal
The Separate Journeys of Couples in Recovery from 2023-11-21T18:02:16

Dr. Rob and Tami answer listener questions about getting back together in sobriety, support for the betrayed wife, getting to know each other in recovery, taking your recovery seriousl...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Am I Just Having Fun, or Is This a Full-Blown Addiction? from 2023-11-08T05:00

Dr. Rob and Tami break down the gray area between just having fun, being “at-risk” for an addiction, and being a full-blown addict. It can be difficult to define the line fully when yo...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Wife Has a Pattern of Infidelity, but I Love Her from 2023-11-03T16:58:22

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed partner about his wife’s recurring infidelity. What first begins as innocent text messages with a stranger quickly turn sexual for he...

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Overcoming Betrayal
She Cheated on Me! And Yet, I’m the One in Recovery? from 2023-10-26T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from an addict who has also been betrayed by his spouse. They have both hurt each other with their addictions/infidelities, however, it seems unfair ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Should I Write Down All My Anger and Hurt? from 2023-10-20T18:50:21

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about the healing properties a journal practice can have. A listener wrote that her therapist wants her to journal out the resentment and anger that her SA has ca...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can Harm Reduction Be Considered Sober? from 2023-10-11T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about whether it makes sense for an addict to be put on a harm reduction treatment for sex addiction. A listener writes in wondering if he should completely stop ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Really Want to Change but My Empathy is Broken from 2023-10-10T19:50:52

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a listener who is struggling to be a more empathetic person to their partner. Despite his best efforts, he can’t seem to be present and emotiona...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Is Super Jealous Despite Being the One Who Cheated on Me! from 2023-09-28T21:53:49

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about what to do when your addict is incredibly jealous when you have friends of the opposite sex. It seems very hypocritical when they’re the ones who caused har...

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Overcoming Betrayal
The 12-Steps Just Don’t Work For Me. I Just Don’t Fit In from 2023-09-22T17:17:18

Dr. Rob and Tami discuss what an addict can do if the 12-step program just isn’t for them. Should they stop going? Should they keep white-knuckling it? Tami offers resources for those ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Are the Triggers of a Midlife Addiction? from 2023-09-14T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami discuss why someone would “suddenly” become an addict in their mid-40s. Sometimes, there were no inklings that this person was even an addict in the first place, but h...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Am I Ready to Date Again as a Sex Addict? from 2023-09-07T16:58:35

Dr. Rob and Tami dive into when it makes sense for someone to date again after being sober and in recovery from sex, love, or porn addiction. This can be tricky for some professionals ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Blames Me for All of His Affairs. What?! from 2023-08-31T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse whose sex addict husband isn’t doing the work. He says that he won’t act out anymore because she’s “fixed” after all the thera...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My 9-Year-Old Daughter Found Out About His Affairs and Now She’s Self-Harming from 2023-08-28T06:01:34

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a distraught mother who has no idea how to work through her daughter’s feelings and emotions about her father’s sexual betrayal. Despite the you...

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Overcoming Betrayal
No! You Ruined My Life and I Hate You! from 2023-08-10T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how a betrayed spouse can work towards forgiving their partner who is suffering from sex addiction or other related issues. Many addicts fail to understand ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m Sober But I Still Get Turned On by My Own Body from 2023-08-03T18:05:31

Dr. Rob and Tami discuss whether a listener is truly living a sober life. The listener asked if it’s okay to masturbate to pictures of their own body now that they’re sober from porn. ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
She Hates My Past. How Can I Support Her? from 2023-07-28T17:02:22

Dr. Rob and Tami offer advice from a husband who has betrayed his spouse. Although he’s been sober for 22 months now, his wife still feels so hurt by his past actions. He automatically...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m Not Ready to Tell My Spouse I’m an Addict from 2023-07-21T16:00:03

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is “white knuckling” their recovery. They’re not leveraging their resources to the fullest because their recovery and journey to sob...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Husband Publicly Exposes Himself for Fun from 2023-07-13T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about sex offenders in this week’s episode and how to work with someone who exposes themselves to people non-consensually. The listener admits that her husband ha...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Is My Addict Such a Liar?! from 2023-07-06T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about compulsive liars in this week’s episode and the reasoning behind someone who can’t seem to tell the truth. If you are a betrayed spouse to someone who regul...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Just Doesn’t Care About Sobriety. Can An Addict Ever Recover? from 2023-06-29T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami discuss if it’s possible for an addict to get better when he/she shows all the signs of not putting in the work. Will this person ever wake up to the reality of the pa...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can My Children Inherit This Addiction Disease? from 2023-06-22T18:25:25

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about whether your children can become addicts if there’s been generational evidence that addiction and disorders run in the family lineage. The listener also ask...

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Overcoming Betrayal
If They Really Knew Who I Am, They Would Leave Me from 2023-06-15T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question on whether you can become “cured” of narcissism. Narcissism is very common among addicts, especially early in recovery. It’s important to note that t...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Your Addict from 2023-06-08T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions from listeners about setting healthy boundaries and what that might look like. You should never feel compelled to do something just to appease the oth...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can You Cure Narcissism? from 2023-06-01T16:38:53

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from an addict that is struggling with their own narcissism. Can this condition truly be cured? In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami explain what a narc...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Can’t I Get Past the 9th Step? from 2023-05-25T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami help someone going through the 9th step process and are currently struggling to reconcile with their wife during this process. His partner still feels incredibly hurt ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
When Do I Know It’s Time to Completely Separate from My Addict? from 2023-05-19T16:36:39

Dr. Rob and Tami walk through someone who is struggling to figure out whether they should pour more energy into their loved one or if they should finally make the tough decision to sep...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict’s Family Blames Me for His Addiction from 2023-05-15T20:18:08

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about why a family might put all the focus and blame on the betrayed spouse and not look at the actual family member (their son or daughter who is the one struggl...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can I Learn How to Be Intimate Again? from 2023-05-05T13:27:53

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is struggling to be intimate with their life-long partner. As an addict, it is so much easier to act out and live in a fantasy than ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m an Addict and I’m Attracted to My Female Coworker from 2023-04-27T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami dive into what should an addict do if they’re working around the opposite sex. Obviously, quitting is not always an option nor does it solve the core problem. Dr. Rob ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m in Recovery, but My Partner Is in Active Addiction from 2023-04-19T17:38:16

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is in recovery, but their partner is not. Is there hope for this relationship? Dr. Rob breaks down why you have to focus on your own...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m in Recovery and I Still Have No Empathy from 2023-04-18T17:33:43

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a man who is struggling to find honesty and empathy during his journey through recovery. His therapist believes he should dive into his childhoo...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m So Hurt. How Do I Even Begin to Process the Betrayal? from 2023-04-18T17:31:41

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed partner on how to process through everything that has happened to her. She has found out about her addict’s affairs and isn’t sure ho...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Brother-In-Law Intentionally Triggered My PTSD. Do I Disown the Family? from 2023-03-31T22:46:43

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse that experienced sexual assault when she was younger. Her SA partner’s brother was being very disrespectful and chose not to l...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Watches Incest Porn. Are My Children Safe? from 2023-03-27T18:10:28

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a heavy question from a listener about whether she should be concerned that her husband is around their children after he revealed some of his porn preferences....

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Overcoming Betrayal
His Sexual Fantasies are Out of Control and It’s Turning into Sexual Abuse from 2023-03-15T18:53:02

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a listener's question who feels very stuck and hopeless. She feels trapped because it seems the aggression in sex with her addict is getting worse and worse. He...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Doesn’t Trust Me! The Audacity. He Thinks I’ll Cheat Back. from 2023-03-15T18:50:55

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a very upset listener. Her partner is accusing her of being unfaithful after the discovery because he feels she will just want to cheat back aft...

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Overcoming Betrayal
She Had a Ring On, and He Respected It. Yet He Still Cheated in Our Marriage. from 2023-03-07T16:54:41

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a very hurt spouse. Her husband has found himself sexually attracted to amarried woman, and although he was honest with her, she can’t understan...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Cheated. Was My Entire Marriage a Lie? from 2023-03-07T16:51:01

Dr. Rob and Tami share some light into why an addict might betray their spouse’s trust. Was the last 40-plus years of marriage all a lie? The answer is no. Addicts are deeply broken pe...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Betrayed Spouse Thinks I’m Disgusting. Can We Reconcile? from 2023-02-16T17:41:48

Dr. Rob and Tami get a question from a SA who is experiencing a lot of shame and distress in his current relationship. After disclosing to his wife all the betrayals and hurts he has c...

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Overcoming Betrayal
The Opposite of Addiction Is Healthy Attachment from 2023-02-15T17:34:44

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is struggling with their ambivalent emotions against their addict. Dr. Rob senses this betrayed spouse has too much investment in th...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Help! I Want to Relapse! from 2023-02-02T13:58:17

Dr. Rob and Tami understand that when you’re going through recovery and begin hitting milestones, you start to question why you’re really doing all of this. The j...

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Overcoming Betrayal
One Month Sober and I Want to Flip Tables and End It All from 2023-01-31T18:14:45

Dr. Rob and Tami understand that when you're going through recovery and begin hitting milestones, you start to question why you’re really doing all of this for. T...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Boundaries Keep Getting Violated. Do I Need to Just Accept It? from 2023-01-26T17:49:16

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a listener who seems to have their boundaries constantly pushed and violated. If you feel like you have to accept somethin...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Emotionally Abuses Me, Is He a Sociopath? from 2023-01-19T19:07:15

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about whether someone can be a sociopath as well as a sex addict. This betrayed partner is being verbally abused and is wondering if the add...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Keeps Accusing Me of Cheating. I'm Not! What?! from 2023-01-09T19:36:34

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a troubling question from a listener. Her husband is accusing her of cheating and he even called her a nasty name because he found out som...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Does Addiction Affect The Family Unit? from 2023-01-09T19:33:54

Dr. Rob and Tami explain to the listeners how addiction has ripple effects on family dynamics. Many addicts think they’re great parents to their children, but tha...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Does My Addict Cause Me So Much Pain? It’s Because He’s Broken from 2022-12-22T19:54:52

Dr. Rob and Tami understand that it can be incredibly frustrating for a betrayed partner to deal with an addict’s head trash and lies and deceit. But why do they ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Should I Leave My Partner After 2 Years? from 2022-12-19T20:24:20

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a young listener who is wondering if their trauma and attachment style is the problem or if they’re truly incompatible wit...

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Overcoming Betrayal
If You Don’t Sleep with Me, I Will Cheat on You from 2022-12-19T20:22:38

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse on what to do when your SA partner is trying to coerce you into having intimate sex again, or else there...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Make the Money, so I Make the Decisions from 2022-12-09T16:46:28

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed partner who is trying to find the help and support she needs, but her SA husband will not fund her therapist be...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Therapist Won’t Hold Me Accountable from 2022-11-24T05:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about whether a therapist should hold their clients accountable. Dr. Rob had some interesting things to say about this. If you’re an addict ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What’s the Difference Between Letting Go and Forgiveness? from 2022-11-17T19:06:52

Dr. Rob and Tami discuss the difference between letting go and forgiving someone who has deeply hurt and betrayed you. Forgiveness is much like grief and it comes...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Broke Her Trust and I Keep Messing Up from 2022-11-10T17:58:32

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a man who is breaking his connection with his spouse. When he and she are in conflict, he can’t seem to find a way to make...

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Overcoming Betrayal
You Glorifying Your Addiction Makes Me Trust You Less from 2022-11-10T17:57:07

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse who is incredibly hurt to find out her partner still believes his acting out activities were worth it. I...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’ve Been in Recovery for Two Years. Why Are Things Not Back to Normal? from 2022-11-01T20:10:36

Dr. Rob and Tami explain to someone in recovery why their betrayed spouse still feels hurt and angry despite him being in recovery for the last two years. Will th...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Is He a Chronic Cheater or Is He Just an Addict? from 2022-10-20T14:12:05

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about the difference between being a cheater vs. an addict. If your partner is just out and they’re unable to think about you or have you in...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Is He Just White Knuckling His Way Through Recovery? from 2022-10-13T17:53:16

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a fed up partner who has stuck by their addict for the last ten years and has finally had enough. Now, he wants to change ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
If You Can’t Hold on to Hope, Let Someone Else Hold It For You from 2022-10-07T15:36:20

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about what to do if you’re feeling hopeless in your recovery. If you are someone who messed up in your marriage or you’re the betrayed partn...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Keeps Shutting My Emotions Down from 2022-09-30T15:23:47

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a listener’s question about why her husband in recovery keeps shutting her down when she gets vulnerable or shows emotions. Dr. Rob suspec...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Blames Me for His Addictions! from 2022-09-30T15:22:11

Dr. Rob and Tami are not surprised by some people’s behavior, especially when they’re deep in their addiction. A betrayed spouse writes in saying her SA husband d...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Husband Doesn’t Realize He’s an Addict. How Do I Talk To Him? from 2022-09-15T16:16:03

Dr. Rob and Tami share their thoughts on how to best approach the conversation with your sex addict partner who might be oblivious that they have an addiction. In...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Every Time I Stop My Addiction, I Have a Panic Attack. How Can I Ever Be Sober? from 2022-09-15T16:14:10

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who has tried to go cold turkey multiple times, but often feels overwhelmed and is unable to handle what life thro...

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Overcoming Betrayal
The Most Destructive Thing in the Relationship is Lack of Honesty from 2022-08-26T17:02:32

Dr. Rob and Tami answer your questions on betrayal and sex addiction. So many addicts feel that if they tell the truth, then their spouse or partner will leave th...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Am Grateful to Be a Recovering Addict from 2022-08-18T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about why addiction can be the biggest gift you've ever received. It might sound hard to believe, but when Tami finally accepted that she wa...

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Overcoming Betrayal
You Have to Make Recovery Fun or Else You Won’t Make It from 2022-08-15T19:26:39

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a painful question from a listener about whether he should tell his child and relatives about the reason why he and his wife are divorcing...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Your Urges Do Pass! The Discomfort is Only Temporary from 2022-08-04T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami share their thoughts on what to do if none of your friends or sponsors are picking up the phone in times of crisis. It’s a horrible situation to ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Still Acts Out. Should We Get Back Together? from 2022-07-29T18:43:59

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a painful question from a listener. Should you get back with your partner that continues to act out? A relationship is a two-way street, i...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addiction Is a Disease of Disconnection. The Cure is Connection! from 2022-07-21T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami bust a common lie addicts often tell themselves; that they can go through the recovery process “by themselves.” Think again! Addiction is a disea...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He’s Sober, but Still So Emotionally Walled Off. Will It Ever Get Better? from 2022-07-14T22:03:35

Dr. Rob and Tami help define what the definition of true recovery is in this week’s episode. If you or a spouse is ‘sober’ that doesn’t always mean they’re on a p...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Feel Hopeless and Defeated with My Addict from 2022-07-07T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about some of the warning signs when an addict is trying to manipulate you in their recovery. If he is threatening suicide, if he is not lis...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Three Months of Sobriety Means Nothing to Your Betrayed Spouse from 2022-07-04T15:54:35

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about a common mistake sex addicts often do not consider and that’s the recovery of your betrayed spouse. You might be in recovery and doing...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Are You Bad or Are You Just Broken? from 2022-06-24T13:53:53

Dr. Rob and Tami answer your questions around cravings and how to progress in a healthy way in this healing journey as a betrayed spouse, and Rob dives deeper int...

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Overcoming Betrayal
You Had Extramarital Affairs In Our Bed! from 2022-06-20T22:02:55

Dr. Rob and Tami open today's conversation about what psychological abuse really is. Many people in recovery do not realize that their form of persuasion can be i...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m Sick of Feeling Like My SA Partner’s Mom. Should We Separate? from 2022-06-10T16:38:49

Dr. Rob and Tami first take a question from a listener looking to fast-track their ability to gain intimacy and closeness with others. They then hear from someone...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m Trying To Get Some Empathy, But Feel Like a Circus Freak from 2022-06-02T20:09:06

Dr. Rob and Tami first address a wife whose SA husband has trouble comforting her when she’s upset or showing emotion, and she feels like a circus freak when aski...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Without Accountability, There is No Recovery from 2022-05-26T15:20:25

Dr. Rob and Tami address several partners of addicts who are projecting blame onto them and advise them on what to do to protect themselves. A spouse who is defle...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Can I Reintegrate Healthy Sex After My Addiction Treatment? from 2022-05-17T19:30:27

Dr. Rob and Tami offer some helpful resources for those in recovery who want to reintegrate and reengage in healthy sex.  They also focus on betrayed partners and...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Have Relapsed. I Feel Terrible. What Do I Do Now? from 2022-05-06T20:26:10

Dr. Rob and Tami answer some of your questions on this week’s episode. One listener had relapsed over the weekend and doesn’t know where to go from here. Dr. Rob ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m so Freaking Angry at Him. How Could My Addict Hurt Me Like This? from 2022-04-29T19:16:40

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how you can process your hurt and anger after you’ve found out about your spouse’s infidelity and addiction. When Tami began her recov...

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Overcoming Betrayal
When You Put in the Work, You Will See the Benefits from 2022-04-28T15:06:03

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how betrayed spouses can take care of themselves, especially if their addict is not showing up in a way that they need to. They also a...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Don’t Trust My Addict Husband from 2022-04-28T15:04:19

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about what to do when you’ve caught your addict watching some really uncomfortable and ethically questionable porn. They also discuss how be...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Do Addicts Have Attachment Issues? from 2022-04-19T17:18:56

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about attachment theory and why understanding how this affects addicts differently than a “normally” attached person. Tami also explains wha...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Recovery Is the Priority For Us to Have a Relationship from 2022-03-30T21:47

Dr. Rob answers today’s questions on disclosures, setting up healthy boundaries, and the impact of trauma in addiction. He describes the difference between bottom...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addicts Are Deeply Troubled People from 2022-03-30T21:45:20

Dr. Rob answers today’s questions without Tami as she is off making snow angels with her grandkids. He talks about how addicts do what they do, not because of the...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What to Disclose to Family Members About Your Addiction from 2022-03-18T16:02:42

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions about what to disclose to family members, what dissociations are, and how to get to telling the truth faster. T...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Intimacy Is Not Only About Sex, It’s About Connection from 2022-03-11T16:45:15

Dr. Rob and Tami talk in this week’s episode about dealing with your addiction first before being able to get into a successful relationship that you want and des...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can I Trust the Polygraph Test? from 2022-03-11T16:43:22

Rob and Tami discuss some of the challenges a betrayed spouse might go through when learning to love and trust their addict again. Tami shares her thoughts about ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Can’t Undo the Past But This Is How I’m Going to Right the Ship from 2022-03-04T17:06:32

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami talk about focusing on your internal recovery first before seeking to make peace with your spouses. It’s important to face your ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addicts Can Change If They Are Willing To Do The Work from 2022-02-18T20:49:15

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami share from their own experience about recovery not being an absolute but a constant effort of working through your struggle. Gro...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Betrayed Spouses Shouldn’t Be Too Nice and Should Voice Their Needs from 2022-02-18T20:11:51

Dr. Rob and Tami answer this week’s questions that focus on how to deal with relapsing addicts coming out of treatment. Betrayed spouses shouldn’t accept too much...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Does Good Couples Therapy Look Like? from 2022-02-09T16:33:26

Dr. Rob and Tami understand that being with a sex addict for years can be hard to accept. They answer a question from a betrayed spouse who has been separated fro...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Who Did My Husband Cheat On Me With? I Need to Know Their Names! from 2022-02-09T16:32:03

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse that is having a hard time moving forward a year after her SA’s disclosure. She wants t...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Betrayed Partner Keeps Threatening Divorce from 2022-01-21T17:57:44

In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions around betrayal trauma and how to help your betrayed partner find safety. They invite you to read Dr. Rob’s boo...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Can an Addict in Denial Get Well? from 2022-01-14T21:26:49

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how you can help someone when they refuse to see themselves as an addict. Dr. Rob has unfortunately seen this happen with recovering a...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Sociopaths Don’t Have Empathy from 2022-01-06T18:16:17

Dr. Rob and Tami dive in and answer questions about healthy sexuality, working through triggers and grief, sociopaths and more. Seeking help and knowing when to w...

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Overcoming Betrayal
The 12-Step Program and How To Help Your Partners Through It from 2022-01-04T22:41:13

In this week’s episode, Rob and Tami talk about the 12-step program, ambivalent love and how partners can support addicts through their own roller coaster of emot...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Do I Date Sober as a Sex Addict? from 2021-12-22T15:18:50

Dr. Rob and Tami walk you through the steps you need to take to have healthy boundaries as a sex or love addict that’s going through the dating process. They also...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Wife Got a Breast Reduction and I’m No Longer Attracted to Her. Porn is My Escape. from 2021-12-22T15:15:15

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how to find intimacy again after being married to your partner for more than 30 years. They also share their thoughts on impatient pro...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Keep Relapsing and I Keep Playing the Victim, How Do I Stop? from 2021-12-03T21:03:50

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone in recovery who can’t stop himself from relapsing. He has been to outpatient help, and he’s in the process of losi...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Does a Good Disclosure After Betrayal Look Like? from 2021-12-03T21:02:12

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about victim shaming when an SA spouse has been acting out, what to do, and they also dive into what a good formal disclosure looks like. It...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Husband of 45 Years is a Sex Addict and A Cross-Dresser from 2021-12-03T21:00:52

Dr. Rob and Tami answer your questions on this week’s episode. What do you do when your partner’s CSAT doesn’t feel like you’re ready to receive a formal disclosu...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addicts Chase the Perception of Fun, but This is Not Fun from 2021-11-22T15:50:16

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about why affair partners don’t ever feel the same as ‘normal’ and ‘stable’ partners. You’re living in a fantasy world with your affair part...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Do Child Sexual Abuse Survivors End up With Sex Issues? from 2021-11-22T15:47:59

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about what happens after someone has been molested as a child, and some of the traumatizing effects it can have on a person in older life. T...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What’s the Difference Between a ‘Slip’ and a Relapse? from 2021-11-03T18:42

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about whether it’s true that all addicts eventually relapse, they also talk about the difference between a slip and a relapse, and why relap...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Betrayed Spouse Wants Me to ‘Fix Things’. How Can I? from 2021-10-21T14:45:44

Dr. Rob and Tami go a little bit deeper on why addicts seek intensity over meaning. They also offer insight into why a man goes from one night stand to one night ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What is Intimacy When In Sex Addiction Recovery, Really? from 2021-10-20T17:26:58

Dr. Rob and Tami dive into why a treatment center is sometimes more encompassing than going to an addiction therapist specialist in this week’s episode. What do y...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can I Take Psychedelics to Cure My Addiction? from 2021-10-11T21:16:46

Dr. Rob and Tami dive right into today’s burning questions. What do you do when your addict starts setting hard boundaries and threats to leave if the betrayed pa...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Still Hangs Out With His Enabler Friends from 2021-09-29T14:18:25

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a distressed betrayed spouse. Despite being sober for eight months, her addict is still hanging out with the same crowd. W...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Do You Need to Do for Yourself? from 2021-09-29T14:16:28

Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question about being gaslit. If your addict is constantly making you feel like you’re in the wrong, you’re at fault and takes no respons...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Isn’t The CSAT Doing His Job? from 2021-09-22T16:09:41

Dr. Rob and Tami address some questions from betrayed partners and talk about some of the frustrations that they are having. If you believe your addict’s CSAT isn...

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Overcoming Betrayal
If He Wants Butt Stuff, Does That Mean He’s Gay? from 2021-09-15T16:37:57

Dr. Rob and Tami answer some of your burning questions. Everything from betrayal, understanding whether your relationship was all a lie, and other tales of recove...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Will My Addict Ever Change? from 2021-09-02T04:00

Dr. Rob and Tami share their thoughts on prenup and post-nup agreements. Do they work? Are they a good indicator that the relationship is moving forward? Dr. Rob ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Betrayed Spouse Wants to Manage MY Money! from 2021-08-31T15:24:05

Dr. Rob and Tami answer some of your burning questions in this week’s episode. A listener writes in and asks if experiencing sex withdrawals after 13 days is norm...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Still Sleeps with His Ex-Wife! from 2021-08-23T15:34:24

A listener writes in and asks Dr. Rob and Tami about what to do after finding out that her partner of seven years still sleeps with his ex-wife, and is unwilling ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Can I Overcome Religious Shame While Recovering From My Addiction? from 2021-08-13T14:58:54

A listener asks how they can overcome their religious shame, move forward in their addiction, and develop a sense of healthy sexuality. No matter what the religio...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addicts Don’t Have Addictions, They Have Intimacy Disorders from 2021-08-06T17:29:02

Dr. Rob and Tami dive in and answer questions about the recovery community, the differences between sex addiciton and being a sex offender, and why addicts have i...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Wants to Leave! How Can I Help Him? from 2021-08-02T15:27:17

Rob and Tami dive into sexual orientation and whether it's a byproduct of childhood abuse or not. Why do ‘straight’ married men cheat on their wives with gay men?...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Did I Marry an Illusion of a Man or Did the Addiction Just Take Over? from 2021-07-22T20:26:44

Rob and Tami first want to clear the air on how addicts are not bad people, they are broken people, but inherently they are not evil. This is a common misconcepti...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Got Caught, Now He Feels Remorse. What’s the Deal? from 2021-07-16T21:12:45

Rob and Tami dive into how an addict’s brain works and why it can be frustrating as a betrayed spouse to see your addict lie and cheat for years, but only try to ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Do I Still Care After All the Hurt and Disrespect? from 2021-07-01T14:21

Rob and Tami received an alarming question from a betrayed spouse who is also the sex addict’s accountability partner. Ouch! Save yourself the emotional and physi...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Husband Is in Recovery, but He’s Still a Jerk! from 2021-06-25T11:16:25

Rob and Tami discuss everything from conversion therapy, turning into a workaholic while in recovery, and so much more. Rob and Tami also talk about how to build ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
In Recovery for 2 Years From Sex Addiction, but I Still Want Connection from 2021-06-17T15:23:04

Rob and Tami talk about the tricky balance recovering sex addicts experience when they want to be in an intimate and caring relationship, without falling back int...

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Overcoming Betrayal
It’s Hard To See Anything Other Than the Hurt and Pain, but It Does Get Better from 2021-06-10T17:11:01

Rob and Tami talk about breaking the pattern of impulsive acts, discovering you’ve fallen in love with someone who doesn’t love you back as an addict, and so much...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Parents Are Addicts and They Trigger Me. How Do I Cope? from 2021-06-03T04:00

Rob and Tami talk about how to deal with family conflict, especially if the family dynamics are unhealthy and riddled with addiction. Dr. Rob offers a different p...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addiction Is a 24/7 Process from 2021-05-27T16:19:40

Rob and Tami talk about betrayal in a marriage and how it takes the spouse a lot longer than you might think to ‘get over it’. It is frustrating seeing your signi...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Prodependence vs. Codependency: A Clarification from Dr. Rob from 2021-05-27T16:15:47

Rob and Tami talk about prodependence and share why broken people seek other broken people. If you’re an emotional 4, anyone higher on the ‘healthy’ scale is goin...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Rape, Childhood Neglect, and Getting Stuck in the Addiction from 2021-05-14T13:54:43

Rob and Tami answer this week’s burning questions. Can you forgive an addict who has raped someone? This is a tough situation to be for anyone, but Rob and Tami s...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Has Become Paranoid and Is Collecting Evidence Against Me from 2021-05-07T15:36:18

Rob and Tami share why recovery is so important and that you cannot go through this journey alone. For many people who are in recovery, they have seen the long-la...

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Overcoming Betrayal
An Addicts an Addict Until They Get Help. from 2021-04-29T13:29:43

Rob and Tami share their thoughts on what to do when a trusted friend or family member is threatening to ‘out’ your addict. This is cruel behavior, but not everyo...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Husband is Suicidal and in The Military. How Do I Help Him? from 2021-04-22T04:00

Rob and Tami talk about when to call it quits in a marriage, even if you spent over 4 decades with your addict. Is your addict showing signs of improvement? Does ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He’s Still Going to Brothels, Is He Still Clean? from 2021-04-15T04:00

Rob and Tami share their thoughts on some of this week's questions. Why does a man fall in love with a sex worker? And if he keeps going back to the brothel, but ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Can I Heal My Addiction? from 2021-04-08T04:00

Rob and Tami talk about the biggest emotion you should fear in your marriage is not hate, it’s indifference. When they no longer care, that’s when you know the re...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Are the Stages of Healing? from 2021-04-02T14:19:59

Rob and Tami answer some of your burning questions about addiction, building intimacy, and the steps needed to fully heal from your past traumas and wounds. If yo...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Don’t Know Who I Want More. My Wife or My Mistress? from 2021-03-25T13:18:02

Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is struggling to understand if he should choose his wife, or continue with the woman he cheated with. Many addicts...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Would a Therapist Ever Openly Lie to the Betrayed Spouse? from 2021-03-18T16:46:44

Rob and Tami talk about how to give yourself realistic boundaries when you know your addiction is easy to access. They also go into talking about how addicts lie ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Addicts Are Responsible for Their Own Healing. Spouses Get To Be Angry. from 2021-03-11T16:27:51

Rob and Tami dive right into why addicts refuse recovery and consciously walk away from a wonderful family and life they’ve built. It can be so tough as a spouse ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m Obsessed with a Woman who Wants Nothing to Do with me. Help! from 2021-03-04T05:00

Rob and Tami discuss whether you should get an SA professional to do a formal disclosure with your partner or if it’s better to go with your regular therapist. Th...

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Overcoming Betrayal
You Re-Build Trust Over Time By Taking Things Slow from 2021-02-25T14:38:33

Rob and Tami discuss whether it makes sense for a sex addict to invest in a dating coach, how to tell if your addict is really genuine in their feelings, and shar...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Grief is a Process and so is Forgiveness. from 2021-02-18T05:00

Rob and Tami discuss what it means to grief and forgive when we’re going through this recovery process. The same is true for betrayed spouses who feel so hurt by ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Is This a Sex Addiction or Does He Just Like To Hook Up? from 2021-02-15T05:27:41

Rob and Tami go right into today’s questions. How can you tell whether someone is an addict vs. someone who likes to have affairs? Rob offers a very simple answer...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I’m The Only Addict In My Family. Why Me? from 2021-02-15T05:25:22

Rob and Tami go right into the community's questions this week as they cover topics like whether a spouse should see a CSAT, trying to navigate recovery alone, an...

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Overcoming Betrayal
He Cheated On Me, So Why Do I Still Miss That Jerk? from 2021-01-28T18:31:49

Rob and Tami answer questions from their audience about sex addition, when it make sense to change CSATs, and they also explore what ‘sexual anorexia’ is. Addicts...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Husband Resents Me, but I still Love Him. from 2021-01-22T16:15:03

Rob and Tami answer questions on how betrayed spouses can best navigate their feelings of insecurity when they’ve found out their husband has an addiction. They a...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Therapy May End, but Your Addiction Doesn’t from 2021-01-14T05:00

Rob and Tami have a discussion on how to best manage your triggers as you go through recovery. Focus on the things you can control. Focus on how you want to react...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Is My ADHD the Reason Why I’m an Addict? from 2021-01-07T05:00

Rob and Tami dive into ADHD and its connection with trauma and addiction. Dr. Rob understands it can feel good to pinpoint something you were ‘born with’ to your ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Daughter Found Out About My Addiction and Now My Family Is in Crisis from 2021-01-06T16:26:38

Rob and Tami answer some questions from betrayed spouses. It’s important to remember that addicts have a tendency to lie to try and protect their addiction as muc...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict’s Therapist Blames Me for His Wrong Doings! from 2020-12-29T16:28:04

Rob and Tami explain in depth what a betrayed spouse is going through during the first year and a half after a reveal, and what a person in recovery can do about ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Does My Addict Keep Threatening Divorce? from 2020-12-17T05:00

Rob and Tami share how you can rebuild trust and how to recover from intense trauma and abuse. They also answer how you can discover what your true emotional need...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can Betrayed Spouses be Addicts Too? from 2020-12-10T05:00

Rob and Tami talk about codependency and why the term actually shames betrayed partners, not supports them. They also dive into some of the misconceptions people ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Temptation is Everywhere, but You Can Manage It from 2020-12-03T08:25:54

Rob and Tami discuss how to best manage your addiction when the outside world is so tempting. It’s easy to fall into traps and feel like you ‘deserve it’, but you...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Sex Addict has Sex with Everyone But Me from 2020-11-26T17:03:34

Rob and Tami discuss what goes into the mind of an addict when they have a close bond or relationship with their partner, yet strays and look elsewhere to meet th...

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Overcoming Betrayal
My Addict Blames Me For His Recovery Journey from 2020-11-19T06:00

Rob and Tami get some really insightful questions this week. They answer everything from if it makes sense to get a pet to help with trauma and recovery, when eno...

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Overcoming Betrayal
I Want to Meet The Women My Husband Cheated on Me With from 2020-11-12T06:00

Rob and Tami dive right into how a betrayed spouse can work with their addict during times of close quarters and covid, how should a CSAT therapist interact with ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
When Is It Time To Stop Loving Your Addict and Move on? from 2020-11-05T13:32:55

Rob and Tami answer questions about when it makes sense to keep fighting for a relationship with your addict vs. walking away for good. It can be a hard journey f...

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Overcoming Betrayal
You Can’t Fix Your Partner. You Can Only Work on Your Addiction and Your Healing from 2020-10-23T06:16:15

Rob and Tami discuss how to best keep boundaries with your mother, how to work through betrayal as a betrayed spouse in a way that encourages your addict to be ho...

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Overcoming Betrayal
When Should We Tell Family About Our Addictions? from 2020-10-15T04:00

Rob and Tami dive into whether you can rewire your sexual tastes after being exposed to hardcore porn. They also discuss how to have a successful open relationshi...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Should There Be Anonymity in Recovery? from 2020-10-08T04:00

Rob and Tami answer the community’s questions and cover topics like having empathy in the betrayed partner, creating healthy love boundaries, and why men seem to ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can a Sex Addict Still Maintain Female Friendships? from 2020-09-24T04:00

Rob and Tami discuss what sobriety looks like when it comes to food and sex addiction, how it differs from alcohol and drug addiction, and dive into whether a sex...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Do What Your Sponsor Says: Unless You Commit, There Will Be No Change. from 2020-09-17T04:00

Rob and Tami discuss the differences between an exhibitionist vs. a sex offender. They also share free ways to get mental health resources and how to get treatmen...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What’s the Difference Between Having a Sexual Attachment With Someone vs. Objectifying Them? from 2020-09-10T04:00

Rob and Tami dive right into some important key topics. They discuss the difference between narcissism and sociopathic tendencies, what to do if an addict is acti...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Can a Polyamorous Couple Go Back To Polyamory After a Betrayal? from 2020-09-03T05:00

Rob and Tami dive into the differences between narcissism and psychopathic behavior, how to stop being triggered by sexual images in the media, what to do if a pa...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Good Therapist Tell You What You Don’t Want to Hear from 2020-08-27T14:39:13

Rob and Tami dive straight into how to find a good CSAT therapist, what the qualities of a good therapist are, what to do if you find yourself acting out, and ans...

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Overcoming Betrayal
If There Is No Cure to Addiction, Then What’s the Point? from 2020-08-20T08:00

Rob and Tami cover whether there is a big difference between sex addiction vs. heroin addiction. They also share why it’s not a good idea to have your friend be y...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Why Would You Have Sex With Someone You Don’t Trust? from 2020-08-13T08:00

Rob and Tami dive into and answer some of your questions this week. They discuss the difference between sex addiction and dissociative disorders, whether someone ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Partners Are Ambivalent for a Year or More After a Betrayal from 2020-08-06T14:07:15

Rob and Tami answer some of your burning questions! They talk about ways an addict can reduce or help their partner through some of their emotional triggers after...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Do You Do If an Addict Breaks Boundaries? from 2020-07-30T08:00

Rob shares why he decided to become a therapist and help people. He also talks about how to best establish boundaries with your addict, and what to do if those bo...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What is Recovery Supposed to Look Like? from 2020-06-16T05:04:34

Rob and Tami answer questions about narcissism and its connection to addiction. They also talk about how an addict can love you 100% and then go off and cheat on ...

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Overcoming Betrayal
Trauma Work and How Our Early Childhood Defines How We Cope from 2020-06-16T05:02:35

Rob and Tami clear up some myths and misconceptions about Rob’s work, like how to conduct a formal disclosure with your partner. He also shares the difference bet...

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Overcoming Betrayal
What Does Sexual Sobriety Really Mean? from 2020-06-16T05:00:16

Rob and Tami sit down to answer some important questions from the community. They dive into what are the best ways to help an addict in denial, how do you know if...

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Overcoming Betrayal
How Can You Best Balance Work/Life and Therapy? from 2020-06-16T04:57:51

Rob and Tami answer some common listener questions from both partners who have been betrayed and addicts who want to repair their relationship with their spouses....

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