Donna Summer [The Casablanca Years] - a podcast by Keith a.k.a. K j A M

I remember the first time I heard the word “fag.” It came out of my mom’s mouth while I was watching an Elton John concert on TV. You know the one, where he’s wearing a Donald Duck costume and banging the piano pretty hard. Despite having all of his 8-tracks, somewhere along the way she decided she didn’t care for him any longer.



The word was a bit jarring to me, but I didn’t really understand what she meant other than I knew it was likely something you didn’t want to be called. Sadly, it wouldn’t be the last time she used the word at least up until my brother’s death from AIDS in 1986. Now, she’ll just say “that looks gay.” LOL



It would be several years later before I heard the word again when I was working for a local Record and Stereo equipment store called Soundcenter. Half the building was all high-end stereo equipment, while the other side was albums, 12 inches, singles, t-shirts, buttons, Walkman’s, etc.; the side I worked on. I was in charge of re-orders and displays.



One morning in June of 1980, there was a news broadcast on something like Good Morning America talking about Stonewall. It showed pictures of gays being arrested during a riot at this bar in New York. This guy Ray called me over and pointed at the TV and said that’s going to happen to you, you FAG. They’re gonna arrest you and throw you in jail with all the other fags.



Damn! There was that word again and this time it’s being directed at me. One of my co-workers Johnny J who was a local DJ told me to ignore Ray; he’s just an asshole to everyone. Even though I didn’t fully understand what it meant, I was shaken by his use of the word and how he was using it to describe me.



When you’re jerking off to the cover sleeve of an Andy Gibb 45 you kinda know you’re different. Gradually, I came to the understanding that a Fag meant I liked guys and was something I should keep hidden from everyone else.



Somewhere along the way, I got the preconceived notion that being gay meant you wore leather and was into whips and chains. I had convinced myself that I’m not a fag because that was nothing like me. After all, I was attracted to the construction guy from the Village People, not the biker guy with the big mustache who I figured was gay (but not the rest of the Village People …go figure).



Prior to getting the job at Soundcenter, I would mow lawns for the money I needed to buy my records. I was a musically obsessed child and my Zenith stereo I saved and purchased was my parent’s weapon of choice if my grades were not up to par. They’d take it away until my grades picked up. I was a latchkey kid, so I’d just sneak into their closet and pull it down and spin my records while they were still at work LOL.



While I usually only purchased 45s because you got more for less, I remember buying Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” album and what it set me back. This was the second album I had ever bought (the first being Barry Manilow Live). I love the split open sleeve, with additional artwork, the smell of vinyl when you pull the record out for the first time. I would play that album obsessively and knew the words to all the songs. Ultimately, I decided I wanted to listen to it on the go, so I ended up saving for the 8-track version as well for my portable player I had received for Christmas. My brother criticized me for asking for a portable 8-track boombox because he said cassettes were the future; what did he know? [grin]



I had already owned the 45s of Donna’s “I Feel Love,” “I Love You,” “Last Dance,” and “MacArthur Park” but the Bad Girls album was like the icing on a cake. I scored my biggest win when Soundcenter got multiple copies of the promotional poster for “On the Radio: Greatest Hits,” and I happen to be in charge of displays.

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