Gay Anthems v3 - a podcast by Keith a.k.a. K j A M

My father and I have a Sunday ritual calling each other to catch up on the previous weeks' personal and political events.  Often times, these friendly discussions get heated as he role's off the talking points from the GOP like they had been implanted in his brain.  He is my best friend and someone who I admire and deeply respect; a man who I've tried to emulate most of my life, but could never quite match the awesomeness of him.  We not only resemble each other but sound alike as well.  No one would ever doubt that I am his son.  However, when it comes down to philosophies, that's pretty much where the resemblance ends.

Both he and my mother are devout Catholics and their faith became more intricately intertwined with the church after my brother's death in 1986; meanwhile, I was going the opposite direction.  Despite that, he has always been steadfast in his beliefs about me and my brother.  That is, he believes we were born gay and did not purposely choose a life of "difficulty."  He has also said on more than one occasion, that if he had his choice, we would not have been born gay.  His reasoning is that our lives would have been so much easier due to the lack of acceptance by mainstream society.  Perhaps he is right, though I don't necessarily think I would change anything other than my chin (a Whitworth family trait), I like who I am.

Several months ago, in one of our conversations, he asked how my partner and I were holding up.  (Sidenote: Rick had been hospitalized after one of his doctor's prescribed medications that were contradictory to his high blood pressure medicine, sending him to the emergency room, where he was subsequently hospitalized for a week due to kidney failure.  He has since been on dialysis and should be off by the end of the year.  I had surgery less than a month later with complications afterward that lasted a month and a half and am now in therapy to see if I'll be able to walk like the rest of you good folks).  He then went on to ask about our relationship and if we were "there" for each other.  At this point, I was becoming uneasy with his questions but assured him that that was the case.  Then he went on to ask if we really "loved" and "cared" for each other.  "You know son, your mother and I have been married for 48 years and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to make it work."  I was blown away by that question and approached my answer using humor, the only way I know how to respond when I'm in an uncomfortable situation.  Rick and I have been together since 2001 and now live like an old married couple.  We often know what the other is thinking.  We often finish each other's sentences.  Heck, I can even tell when he's being less than truthful and when one of us needs a good tongue lashing, neither of us is afraid to tell each other like it is.  It's taken 23 years for my father and me to have this conversation.  Naturally, I was nervous when I heard these questions come out of his mouth.  Answering with humor was the only way I could squelch my own discomfort.  My response gave him a good chuckle and we were finally able to move on.

I guess my point is, that even though he's not going to throw his beliefs out the window anytime soon, I do believe that it's possible to slowly win hearts and minds over the "marriage equality" and "equal rights" debate currently at the forefront of the American conscience.  No doubt he's read about it and is continually barraged with anti-gay sentiment in many of his news programs.  In particular, O'Reilly always likes to show gay pride parades in San Francisco and uses that to frame all homosexuals as one giant cliché.  Fortunately, one of my fathers best friends' son has been in a long-term relationship with another man and lives in Austin (TX).  Several years ago, he and his partner adopted a Korean boy.

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