A guy inside my head - a podcast by Trevor Exter
from 2019-07-25T00:15:03
The move, part 2 with musical reflections
[press play]
song: “Hudson”
[music & lyrics c. Trevor Exter - all rights reserved]
got a guy inside my head who doesn't like me
can't stand my type, my band, my sign
but you seem to handle me just fine
I've got the wings, just need the wheels
show me something
something that'll make me feel
I seek to belong but also to control. I want delight but also health. Tension much?
I want to feel safe but also powerful, so cello is the perfect instrument for me because you know it's never gonna go perfectly.
I got a love the size of the sun
that could boil the ocean
rose above I've not, no prizes won
see I'm just one
your mind is a window, body is the sky
can't live without the one
without the other you won't ask why
We do the long tones to make the sound warm and fluid. I've also been dusting off my bounce matrix - that thing is hard to execute in real time.
Honestly, most of my practicing is to address my own feelings, an effort to feel safe in the face of potential mistakes and to make a compelling (i.e. powerful) sound.
We forget that the cello drill is not taught so that we can feel good, but so that we can do the cello job.
But what if...
why keep it to yourself
can't be someone else
don't keep it to yourself
talk is cheap inside a shell
What if, when we played the cello we got to feel the way a listener wants to feel when they hear the cello?
(warm, emotional, thrilled)
What if we could benefit from our own musical medicine?
I got a g-d follows me around, saving my hide
though I tried slippin away
you know it ain't fake tonight
here in this house of love
got to do things right
some day I'll run clear in the light
That's my goal, which partly explains why I've done so little performing lately. Not only is cello hard and awkward to play, but booking and promoting gigs can often run counter to the real work of music, which among other things is healing.
why keep it to yourself
can't be someone else
don't keep it to yourself
talk is cheap inside a shell
In order to heal a listener, the musician has to first heal themselves. And I've been engaged in some deep healing of late.
But the songs are about ready to burst.
They've been doing their job for me, so I'm starting to think about trying them out on you.
I'm looking forward to a release (it's still very far away).
But I will be booking a show soon.
Promise.
Thanks for all your notes last week. Big ups, keep em coming.
Love,
Trevor
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