Ep #14 Grief and Loss - a podcast by Thomas R. Metzinger, LCSW,CCHt

from 2020-06-27T15:59:17

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Grief and Loss Show Notes

Grief is our response to loss and is a normal part of the human experience

Anticipatory grief vs Traumatic

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Stages of Death and Dying/ Grief and Loss

1)Denial

2)Anger

3)Bargaining

4)Depression

5)Acceptance

My Story about my sister-Michelle

How We Experience Grief

-Hopelessness/ Helplessness

-Intense Sadness

-Rumination

-Emotional Instability

-Physical Suffering

-Anger

-Guilt

-Confusion/ Disbelief/ Shock

-Increased Anxiety

-Fatigue (physical and emotional)

-Intense and Disturbing Dreams

-Depression

-Pain

-Yearning/ Disorganization/ Despair

-Loss of Part of Ourselves

Coping and Adapting

What are your current coping mechanisms?

-Being strong

-Avoidance

-Obsessing on something else

-Anger, frustration, and or retaliation

-Reflecting

-Any addictive behaviors

Acceptance and Adaptation to the new normal

Recognize Triggers and what to do about them

Take care of your own health (self-care)

Find ways to focus on the positive/ happy memories

Identify your thoughts and feelings about…

Religion and Spirituality

Rationalizing the true affect of the loss

Unresolved issues/ concerns

Find a new sense of happiness

Engage in new or current hobbies

Don’t punish yourself! (self-sabotaging behaviors)

Honor the Good

Find solace in others

-friends/ peers

-colleagues

-pastor/ priest

-professional/ clinician

-group

-social media

Use a technique to cope in a more positive way

My Technique

Set aside time, daily at first, to reflect on the person. Maybe in the evening when you have accomplished all you needed to do that day. Use a specific time, let’s say 30-60min, to “be with” or reflect on the person in a positive way. When the time is up, you close the proverbial book for that day and take care of you. It may start out daily and move to weekly, but this will be the only time you reflect on the person. You WILL be triggered throughout the day but remember to save the reflecting until your scheduled time. This will help you cope and avoid disorganization and emotional distress.

Ideas of Things to Reflect On

-How that person made you feel

-Fond things you remember about them

-How did they make you better

-How do I plan to honor them

-What would you like to tell them

-What would you like to share with them

-Tell them “I love you and I’ll see you soon”

Remember that they live on through you.

*Learn more about Tom, Dr. Terri Prescott, and the Progressive Mind Center:

Website

https://promindcenter.com