Podcasts by Ross OCarroll-Kelly @ The Irish Times

‘You need to look up the difference between mincemeat and minced meat. Merry focking Christmas’ from 2023-12-08T12:00:34

We’re off to give my godson Ross Junior his Christmas present, but his old dear will already be in a fouler at the thought of me coming.

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‘Sneaking around behind my wife’s back is something I’m very, very good at, in fairness to me’ from 2023-11-24T12:09:56

“If we do this,” she goes, “my husband can’t find out about it. Under any circumstances?”

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I wake up on Sunday morning thinking, am I having one of my famous erotic dreams? from 2023-11-17T11:34:47

Or is Sorcha standing at the end of the bed, wearing the Tory Burch tennis whites she bought last summer to watch Wimbledon?

She’s like, “Are you ready?”

“Ready?” I go. “In <...

Sorcha is like me before every Ireland squad announcement – in other words, focking delusional from 2023-11-10T12:00:25

It’s the Killiney and Dalkey Combined Christmas Fete meeting, and we’re about as welcome as a snot-nosed kid in a bridal shop

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‘When I close my eyes at night, I can still see that bird’s horrible, leering face’ from 2023-11-03T15:41:14

“Sur! Prise!” we all go.

But the old man – standing at the bottom of the stairs in Shanahan’s on the Green – barely raises a smile.

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‘I’ve never seen Sorcha so upset - and given my record as a husband, that’s a genuine achievement’ from 2023-09-29T11:00:48

I’ve never seen Sorcha so upset? And given my record as a husband, that’s a genuine achievement. She’s literally shaking with rage and whatever else is bubbling inside her, which is the re...

‘Dad, you need to ask yourself what do you want to be – a rugby fan or a good father?’ from 2023-09-22T16:59:48

I love a crowd. Yeah, no, that’s as true of me now as it was back in my days as the best number 10 in the history of Irish schools rugby and the goy that every girl wanted to be with. I love the fe...

Some things are more important than family. Rugby happens to be one of them from 2023-09-19T10:46:49

So I wake up in the hotel in Nantes to find a letter on my bedside table, which turns out to be from – yeah, no – my old man?

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‘There’s no caps for your so-called matches against Mexico and, I don’t know, Guava Larva. I made the entire thing up’ from 2023-09-08T11:00:59

The old man is as excited as I’ve seen him since the members of Elm Pork Golf Club voted to name the lateral water hazard on the 12th hole “the Chorles River”. It’s, like, Friday night – the night ...

‘It turns out that every single vehicle in the Mount Anville cor pork has had its tyres done. Except one’ from 2023-09-01T11:00:05

Sorcha is tense. Yeah, no, for her, the first day back after the school holidays is like the first day of the Six Nations for me. In other words, a matter of life and death.

from 2023-08-17T11:00:36

This is the final exclusive excerpt from Camino Royale, the new Ross O’Carroll-Kelly novel out today Thursday, August 17th.

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Camino Royale: the second exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book from 2023-08-16T11:00:19

This is the second of three exclusive excerpts from Camino Royale, the new Ross O’Carroll-Kelly novel out this Thursday, August 17th 2023.

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Camino Royale: an exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O’Carroll-Kelly book from 2023-08-15T11:00:04

This is the first of three exclusive excerpts from Camino Royale, the new Ross O’Carroll Kelly novel out this Thursday, August 17th 2023.

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‘Honor, there has to be a better way of trying to save the planet than this’ from 2023-08-12T04:00:37

Sorcha is sitting at the kitchen island with her laptop open and a pleased-with-herself smile that I recognise from the Mount Anville Class of 1998 graduation photograph on her bedside table.
...

Dude, you’re not allowed to just, like, shoot seagulls from 2023-08-04T11:00:03

So – yeah, no – we’re out in the old man’s boat in the middle of Dublin literally Bay, we’re talking me, the old man and Hennessy, and like the old man says, it’s just like old times.

Listen

Father and son. From the same city. And we might as well be a donkey talking to a parrot from 2023-07-28T11:00:18

So it’s, like, ten o’clock on a Friday night and Ronan’s at the front door. He goes, “How are you fixed for the Oddle Arelint football fidal on Suddendee, Rosser?”

Listen

People like us don’t get embarrassed. That’s how we’ve ended up where we are in life from 2023-07-07T11:00:12

The old man rings me at, like, two o’clock in the afternoon and goes, “Ross! You’re not busy, are you?”

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The SUV Avenger has slashed the tyres on Sorcha’s cor from 2023-06-24T07:34:44

So – yeah, no – we’re at the recycling centre with a boot full of empty cans and bottles from a recent borbecue to celebrate Sorcha’s 43rd birthday and me having nine penalty points wiped from my d...

‘Bloomsday is God’s way of telling middle class people they have too much time on their hands’ from 2023-06-16T15:00:22

I’m standing outside the famous Galloper on the Stillorgan dualler when Ronan rocks up. He’s as surprised to see me as I am to see him?

H...

There’s nothing like the school sports day to get the old competitive juices flowing from 2023-06-09T12:00:39

I have to confess to getting a bit carried away, and I stort shouting things like, ‘Eat it up, you pack of losers!’ at the other moms and dads

Hos...

‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’ from 2023-06-02T16:00:48

Honor has been walking around under a bit of a cloud ever since a dude by the name of Jonah – Wesley College, before you ask – friend-zoned her.

...

‘What does Patrick Kielty have that I don’t?’ asks the old dear from 2023-05-26T17:00:56

There’s no mystery as to why they chose Kielty for the Late Late. He’s not 76 years old. His bodily organs didn’t come from a black morket doctor in Bogotá

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I’m the father of a 15-year-old girl. I think, by this stage, I’ve earned the right to embarrass her? from 2023-04-28T11:00:25

He’s, like, standing right in front of the gaff, staring at his phone. I throw open the front door and I’m like, “Whatever you’re selling, fock off before I call the Feds,” which would be pretty mu...

‘I’ve been polyamorous since the late 1990s’ from 2023-04-21T08:41:28

People talk about polyamory like it’s a new thing. I’ve been polyamorous since the late 1990s. It’s just that I’ve never told my wife.

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The old dear arrives at the door, smelling like a distillery tour, asking to see her granddaughters from 2023-04-11T11:51:31

She has so much filler in her face that she looks like she’s had herself embalmed to save us the trouble when she finally pops it.

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We’re a father and daughter vaping away to beat the band, properly bonding from 2023-03-31T11:00:17

If everybody is doing something how bad can it be, Ross thinks, as he submits to peer pressure from his daughter and discovers vaping

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I’m 43. Andy Farrell would want to be pretty focking desperate for a 10 to pick me from 2023-03-27T08:15:03

The old dear rings me and asks me to meet her for Sunday lunch in some, I don’t know, random Italian restaurant in Ranelagh.

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What a day . . . I’ll just send a quick congrats text to Johnny Sexton from 2023-03-21T21:31:23

The final whistle blows and I burst into tears. The greatest day of my life? It’s definitely up there. People bang on about the birth of their children, but children let you down. This Ireland team...

Girls, if Johnny Sexton was here, he’d tell you – you are never, ever beaten from 2023-03-17T18:49

The big Castlerock College versus Newpork Comprehensive showdown has arrived

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I want this school to be a conveyor belt of women’s rugby talent from 2023-03-03T12:00

The Rossmeister General finds out about the ‘deleterious effect’ rugby is having on academic and behavioural standards among girls at school

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I’ve ended up on a poster for adult incontinence treatment on a gable wall in, like, Ranelagh from 2023-02-24T17:14:48

Only the crookedest lawyer in Ireland can get me out of this contract I accidentally signed with a modelling agency

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I’m getting the tattoo of J-Lowe, a late 40th birthday present to myself from 2023-02-17T12:00:52

It’s, like, Monday morning and I’ve taken the boys for a haircut – or, to be more, I don’t know, pacific, I’ve dumped them in the borber’s while me and Honor are sitting in the coffee shop...

One day, there’s going to be a Leinster Schools Senior Cup… for girls! from 2023-02-10T13:00:02

So – yeah, no – the girls have been working unbelievably hord in training, which is why I’ve arranged a little surprise for them. I tell them to meet me in the school cor pork, where the bus is alr...

I’m surrounded by people who keep me grounded. I wish they’d focking stop from 2023-02-03T11:42:02

“Oh my God,” Honor goes, “you’re not actually wearing that, are you?”

And by that she means my black, Canterbury elite protection body ormour vest.

Listen

Sixmas is what I call the Six Nations Championship – the most wonderful time of the year from 2023-01-30T11:25:32

I go, “Twas the week before Sixmas, and all through the class, nothing was stirring, not even a mouse!”

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So I’m standing at the trough in The Queens in Dalkey, having a much-needed slash, when I hear a voice beside me go, “Is that the famous Ross O’Carroll-Kelly I see?”

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Hey, as I always say, it’s better to be someone’s shot of tequila than everyone’s cup of tea.

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The neighbours have visions of the Vico Road turning into Morbella from 2022-11-18T12:00:10

So – yeah, no – I’m in, like, the gorden, throwing the old Gilbert around with Brian, Johnny and Leo, except we can’t complete three passes without one of us dropping the ball and I’m wondering doe...

‘Schoolbooks shmoolbooks ... I didn’t do a tap at school and look at me’ from 2022-11-11T12:00:06

The school concert hall is absolutely rammers and the walls are pretty much vibrating with the sound of people being – as we say on this side of the city – up in orms.

Listen

'It’s Halloween week and we’re living in a house that’s, like, haunted – literally' from 2022-10-28T11:00:25

I end up pretty much not sleeping for, like, five nights straight. And I know Honor is exactly the same. I’m there, “Can you just explain to me again what you saw and heard — illegibly.” “There’s n...

'I’ve been shocked by the change that has come over my daughter since we moved to Terenure' from 2022-10-21T11:00

She’s quiet, cranky and liable to explode in a rage at the least provocation. Mind you, she’s been like that since she emerged from her old dear’s womb with her two middle fingers raised to the wor...

'Already I feel like I’ve created a team in my image – in other words, winners' from 2022-10-14T13:20

“Ross O’Carroll-Kelly!” a voice behind me goes. “It is you, isn’t it?”

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'I’m a big believer in overpraising my children. Never did me any horm as a kid' from 2022-10-07T14:00:24

Sorcha is unpacking her collection of Lladro figurines from a cordboard box. She says she’s worried about Honor.

I’m like, “Honor? In terms of what specifically?”

'Honor storts screaming at the top of her lungs. But no one hears her. Because mine are louder' from 2022-09-30T11:00:57

So I’m in, like, Dundrum Town Centre with Honor and we’re racing for the lift slash elevator before the doors close. There’s, like, eight or nine people in there and they all do that thing that Listen

'Ronan is a – what’s the word – Republican? As in, he’s got the names of the whole crew from 1915 tattooed on his upper orm' from 2022-09-23T11:00:16

Claire from Bray of all places says the miniature Scotch eggs are – oh my God – divine? Sorcha says the secret is to fold some Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco into the pork mince before d...

'The girls are staring at me in just, like, awe – they’re ready to learn from the master' from 2022-09-16T11:00:56

I’m like, “Okay, listen up, everyone,” spinning a rugby ball in my hands and – to be honest? – loving the way my voice sounds right now.

...

‘Just because I’m a serial liar doesn’t mean that I can’t be trusted’ from 2022-09-09T11:00:22

Lauren — as in, like, my best friend Christian’s wife? — has never been my number one fan. There are many reasons for that. For storters, she wouldn’t be what I would call a rugby person? ...

‘How much would it mean to the girls storting school here to have the legendary Ross O’Carroll-Kelly teaching them rugby?’ from 2022-09-02T14:00

It’s, like, the first day of the school year and we’re standing outside the gates of Castlerock College. Although it would be more accurate to say that we’re blocking the gates — yeah, no,...

‘Sorcha Lalor, you were the best Dalkey Lobster Festival Queen we ever had’ from 2022-08-26T11:00

There are – I think we’d all agree? – some great events in the South Dublin social calendar. There’s, like, the Dublin Horse Show. There’s the arrival of Santa Claus in a twin-engine Sikor...

I’m lying by the pool, doing my daily sit-ups with my top off, when I hear Honor go, ‘Oh, for fock’s sake! Not these two focking clowns! from 2022-08-19T11:00:32

The weather in — yeah, no — Portugal has been so good that Sorcha has been suffering the big-time guilts over the future of what she calls our planet? But on Tuesday everything changed when a sever...

‘Pissing in a swimming pool is a bit like farting at Mass. The trick is to squeeze it out quietly’ from 2022-08-13T09:21:06

It’s a cracking day in Quinta do Lago — but then aren’t they all? I’m having my first piña colada of the morning because I drank way too much last night and I’m feeling like dogshit that’s been ste...

What are the girls in Mount Anville going to say when they find out you’re living in a housing estate? from 2022-08-06T12:43:56

A well-appointed property,” Sorcha goes, reading from the bumf, “set in the hort of one of South Dublin’s most sagacious suburbs. Oh my God, I love that word. It sounds amazing, doesn’t it, Ross? Listen

I look fantastic for a man of 42, abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows from 2022-07-29T11:00:15

So – yeah, no – I’m in the gym in Riverview, trying to get myself beach body-ready for Quints in the middle of August. Today is orms day and I’m sitting on a Swiss ball in front of a long mirror...

‘No focking way. I’m not breaking into the dude’s office’ from 2022-07-22T13:00

The old man has a Cohiba the size of a Wavin pipe wedged between his teeth and I end up having to open the window so I don’t die of smoke inhalation.

“The fock are we even doing here?”...

‘I wonder sometimes are these kids definitely mine’ from 2022-07-15T11:00:33

Ireland are playing the All Blacks but Sorcha has planned a family weekend to Center Parcs.

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‘A co-educational school has never won the Leinster Schools Senior Cup!’ from 2022-03-26T04:00:03

How can Ross convince the goys that Castlerock should never let in girls?

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Fionn’s changed since he landed the top job at our old alma mater

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There’s goys from Michael’s, Belvedere, Gonzaga and Blackrock all mixing with each other like there’s no actual difference between them

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‘You lifted the Leinster Schools Senior Cup – does that mean nothing to you now’ from 2022-03-04T18:04:06

A tap on the shoulder while getting in a quick pint at the bor in Dublin Airport

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Sorcha is quiet this morning. I honestly haven’t seen her this distracted since she got a girl sacked for plucking her eyebrows in a way that made her face look – her word – quizzical? And she keep...

Rezoning Dalkey for affordable housing? The natives are up in orms from 2022-02-11T12:00:33

Sorcha calls the Emergency General Meeting of the Vico Road and Vico Road-Adjacent Residents’ Association to order.

“I realise that there’s a great deal of concern in this room,” she g...

‘I feel like my old man – the pub bore, shouting opinions into the air while everyone zones out’ from 2022-02-04T13:58:53

It’s the night before Sixmas and I’m sitting in The Bridge 1859, sharing with the goys the gift of my pre-tournament analysis. I’m telling them that I think Ireland are now the best passers of the ...

‘When I say it’s oaber, Rosser, Ine thalken about me and Hodor’s business. It’s boddixed’ from 2022-01-28T12:00:33

Ronan’s there, ‘I sted at the roulette table too long – stordee of me life’

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‘Like a great many politicians, I have a public position, as well as a private position’ from 2022-01-22T04:00:20

Chorles may miss his first Six Nations championship match in almost seventy years

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‘This is killing me, Sorcha. I feel about as useful as a focking Orts degree’ from 2022-01-14T11:22:16

“God, I’m bored,” I go. “How far into this whole self-isolation thing are we now?”

Sorcha’s there, “We’re halfway-”

I’m like, “Halfway?”

She goes, “-halfway through...

‘Andrea Shotton called me maskier than thou,’ Sorcha goes from 2022-01-07T16:40:14

Sorcha says we dodged it.

And I’m like, “What are you banging on about?”

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Sorcha injures her foot, while Honor makes a shocking discovery from 2021-12-18T04:00:40

There’s no doubt that Honor takes after her old man in terms of never being afraid to call it.

“Why is Dad allowed to get shitfaced with his friends,” she goes, “and my brothers aren’t...

The Christmas cards are out, but a problem arises from 2021-12-10T11:52:50

“Oh my God,” Sorcha goes, “we are so on top of Christmas this year!”

I’m there, “In terms of?”

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“Boys and girl,” the air hostess goes, “we have arrived in Rovaniemi, Lapland – home of Santa Claus!”

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Of course Santa exists – who do you think drinks all the Heineken? from 2021-11-19T12:13:25

Sorcha ends up saying the most unbelievable thing when the boys ask if Santa is real

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‘I lead the boys at gunpoint up the Shelbourne Road’ from 2021-11-13T08:37:26

It’s a big day for Johnny Sexton. And it’s ...

‘I can lie – very easily – but not when it comes to rugby’ from 2021-11-05T12:05:48

An encounter at rugby training sees Ross making an unexpected connection.

From The Irish Times, this is Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's weekly audio column, as read by Paul Howard.

...

‘They talk about the Collison brothers, but those chaps have got nothing on you, Honor’ from 2021-10-29T10:15:49

The famous Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara says he hasn’t been this excited about a business idea since we built all those houses on a floodplain in west Dublin in the 1970s...

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'Since they storted school at Willow Pork, it’s been rugby, rugby, rugby, with no mention of soccer'

‘He has a dreamcatcher tattoo on the back of his wrist. It’s like he does these things deliberately to make me hate him’ from 2021-10-01T09:32:27

Hennessy pulls out the big guns to help settle a case of caravan arson

From The Irish Times, this is Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's weekly audio column, read by Paul Howard.

irishtim...

"I’m having Vietnam-style flashbacks here" from 2021-09-24T14:53:14

Mad as it sounds, sometimes it’s easier to tell the girl the truth. I’m like, ‘Honor burned down the caravan, Sorcha’

From The Irish Times, this is Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's weekly audio ...

"Sorcha did Fake Sincerity as an extracurricular subject in Mount Anville" from 2021-09-18T04:00:02

Sorcha samples kalettes and deactivated pecans as Ross gets accused of arson

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"My fingers are actually shaking as I type my exam number into the laptop" from 2021-09-04T04:00

The Leaving Cert results are about to go online and Ross's family are gathered around the kitchen island to find out how he's done.

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‘I genuinely don’t think I’m ready to be a Blackrock dad’ from 2021-08-27T16:00

Willow Pork is the only school to take the triplets, they’ve been on Joe Duffy too many times

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Ross goes on a date with Marianne the Irish teacher, beginning with Mass.

"It's a ball, but not an ordinary-shaped ball. This one is, like, round" - Normal Sheeple excerpt #3 from 2021-08-18T08:11:45

On holidays in Kerry, Ross has a chance encounter with some locals and tries his hand at Gaelic football. The third of four exclusive excerpts from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book Normal Sheeple....

"Out of the hundred or so people seated for dinner, I'm the only one wearing a Leinster jersey" - Normal Sheeple excerpt #2 from 2021-08-17T08:02:02

This week we're bringing you four exclusive excerpts from the latest Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book, Normal Sheeple, which is released on Wednesday 18th August.

Today: Ross and Sorcha atten...

"Everyone's clapping as Sorcha steers Samantha Power to the front row" - Normal Sheeple excerpt #1 from 2021-08-16T06:45:11

This week we're bringing you four exclusive excerpts from the latest Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book, Normal Sheeple, which is released on Wednesday 18th August.

Today: Sorcha takes control ...

‘His wife moves the cursor on his work laptop every five minutes, so it doesn’t go into sleep mode’ from 2021-08-07T07:54:31

Toni Loscher next door is power-washing the wooden patio again.

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I end up lying on her behalf to get her out of an unwanted visit to – oh my God – Lusk

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‘Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara taught me how to drink a Mortini in three mouthfuls’ from 2021-07-17T07:52:20

Ross’ father is determined to make sure a birthday party takes place indoors in the Horseshoe Bar

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‘Ronan showed me how to light a fire and make it look like an accident’ from 2021-07-09T17:00:32

Ross can’t face a week in a mobile home with Garret and Claire, but Honor has a plan

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‘I’d rather rip out my molars with a pliers than holiday in Ireland again’ from 2021-07-02T15:13:46

‘So what’s there to see in Ballycanew?’ ‘A Daybreak and a Londis’

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‘Rugby banter is taking a dump in someone’s shoes’ from 2021-05-21T21:48:26

Ross is pressured into chopping off Christian’s top knot in the name of ‘rugby banter’

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‘Rugby is not pass the porcel, Morcus’ from 2021-05-14T12:16:30

Rugby training is back and Brian, Johnny and Leo are in a loser pod

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Honor gets frank with Ross after he fails to see the painful truth about his boys’ rugby abilities

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‘They brought a corvery dinner to my room!’ from 2021-04-30T08:50:07

‘Who in the name of God eats four types of potato with their dinner?’

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Ross's mother finds herself in mandatory hotel quarantine.

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‘Get in before they change their minds and haul your orse back to jail’ from 2021-04-09T16:46:27

Ross collects his unrepentant anti-lockdown dad from Mountjoy.

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‘I urge you all – standing here, in the People’s Pork – to remove your masks!’ from 2021-03-12T12:11:50

It’s a mask-off in Dún Laoghaire as the old man leads an anti-lockdown march

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‘We can’t just dump all our rubbish in the front gorden, Sorcha' from 2021-02-26T18:13:15

'Every single room in this house is haunted by the guilt of my failure’

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‘You asked me the other night was I breathing louder than usual?’

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‘I know every mork on the floor, the walls and the ceiling of this bor’ from 2021-01-29T15:36:48

Every – I don’t know – significant thing that ever happened in my life has some association with Kielys of Donnybrook

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‘75? What on earth makes you think I’m 75?’ from 2021-01-22T23:21:19

‘They’re using the vaccine to force people to say they’re over 70 when they’d pass for 50’

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‘Do Dry January? That’s crazy talk’ from 2021-01-01T12:00:04

No booze, swearing or sweets – Sorcha has new year’s resolutions for all the family

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‘I want a Christmas that Tony Holohan would approve of’ from 2020-12-18T14:50:13

Sorcha is determined to stage a Christmas Day gathering that complies with safety guidelines

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‘One of your Three Wise Men stuck his middle finger up at me’ from 2020-12-04T13:00:45

All of a sudden I’ve got a woman asking me if I find food intolerances funny..

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‘You can’t end a relationship with someone by climbing out the window’ from 2020-11-07T08:58:38

I’m not 100% keen on Honor driving, mainly because she’s 14, has no licence, tax or insurance

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‘They want us to vacate this place so they can use it as a love shack?’ from 2020-09-18T10:36:31

Sorcha’s old dear and my old man are supposed to be moving into the Lalors’ holiday home in Brittas Bay, except three dudes – studenty types – have been refusing to leave.

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This is still the Vico Road. Pandemic or no pandemic from 2020-08-28T11:12:07

There are landmork moments in our children’s lives. First day of school. First time you hold their hair back so they can vomit a naggin of vodka

H...

Your old dear is no scene-stealer... she has sticky-out ears and legs like the William Dorgan Bridge from 2020-08-21T13:23:06

‘Your dad is the leader of a political porty that believes women should have to re-sit their driving test every six months to prove their competency to drive’

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‘You see, the 50-person limit has made Mass tickets a hot commodity’ from 2020-07-11T06:55:39

It seems young Ronan is doing a line in black morket tickets for Masses and church services

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‘It’s a shame it took a global pandemic to get Ross to keep it in his trousers’ from 2020-05-22T14:05:55

'You’re lucky my orms don’t stretch two metres – because I would deck you for that'

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‘Dad, you can shove your offer. I’m going to sit the Leaving Cert’ from 2020-05-15T12:34:08

The Rossmeister prepares for a third crack at the exams with Honor’s home-schooling.

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‘I’ve been booking supermorket delivery slots weeks in advance. Then selling them for €70 each’ from 2020-05-12T08:37:21

Welcome to the horsh realities of the free morket, Honor goes

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Joe Wicks goes, ‘That’s our warm-up completed.’ I’m already focked from 2020-04-17T10:55:48

Phoning ‘Mom’ is a sure sign Covid-19 crisis brings out the best in people

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‘The O’Carroll-Kelly Saliva Stakes is the closest thing we have to live sport now’ from 2020-03-20T09:59:28

For five days, I’ve been stuck in the house and I can’t help thinking, ‘God, my family are annoying

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‘Ross, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Your mother is on Tinder’ from 2020-03-14T12:12:42

The old dear is catfishing dudes on Tinder by pretending to be only 58about 6 hours ago

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‘Sold to the man in the Ireland jersey with a bowtie tied around his neck!’ from 2020-02-15T10:53:02

Who wouldn’t spend too much at a charity auction for a horrible portrait?

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"You’re a camel hair coat away from being your grandfather, Ro" from 2020-01-10T15:00:19

Ronan admits to Ross he threw the race at Leopardstown on Stephen Zuzz Day.

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‘Ross, you can’t hold a note. I don’t want you embarrassing yourself’ from 2019-12-20T15:09:22

The Rossmeister gets into the spirit of the season with a spot of Grafton Street carolling

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‘Tubs sees the boys then and – in fairness – he gives them the benefit of the doubt’ from 2019-11-29T12:00:23

Sorcha’s Toy Show dream quickly comes to an end when Ryan Tubridy meets the boys on set.

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Meeting our temperamental racehorse, Hoss O'Carroll-Kelly.

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'Oh my God', Honor goes, 'there's a focking horse in the gorden!' from 2019-11-15T14:15:36

Yeah, no, I bought a racehorse, but it's not for Honor - it's for my old school's honour.

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All the posh schools have a horseracing syndicate. Why not Castleknock College?

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‘Munster didn’t beat the All Blacks in 1978. This video proves it’ from 2019-10-18T11:40:19

What the fock? Did the old man pay someone to fake a video?

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‘No, Sorcha. I’m going to Japan. The team needs me’ from 2019-10-11T08:52:16

The Rossmeister is struck with a sudden case of FOMO with just one phone call.

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Being fired as godfather is making him teary - so is the breakfast beer...

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Sorcha's was served on a VHS copy of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

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‘Munster beat the All Blacks. We’ve all heard the story... but did it really happen?’ from 2019-09-13T10:00:48

The old dear thinks the old man has lost his marbles. He’s set up a vlog.

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Schmidt Happens: Excerpt Two from 2019-08-28T05:00:16

The second of three exclusive excerpts from 'Schmidt Happens', the eighteenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

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Schmidt Happens: Excerpt One from 2019-08-27T04:00:36

The first of three exclusive excerpts from 'Schmidt Happens', the eighteenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

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As one girl puts it, ‘Send him back to Google in a focking wheelchair’ from 2019-08-23T16:00:16

In an extract from his new book, Schmidt Happens, Ross O’Carroll-Kelly has taken on his toughest job yet – coaching the Facebook tag rugby team for their annual summer match against Google.
Listen

‘The dude pats me down to make sure I’m not packing heat’ from 2019-08-16T16:00:26

Ross doesn’t like what he sees when he visits Ronan at work for some lunchtime pints.

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‘You can’t fire me as a godparent. I resign’ from 2019-08-09T16:01:05

The dog is for the chop until Ross channels his inner rugby captain.

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‘I wouldn’t be shocked if she was running a meth lab out of her bedroom’ from 2019-07-26T10:00:25

A dickhead of a smoke alorm ruins Ross’s night and leads him to a surprising discovery...

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I’ve tried my best not to love my son any less since he storted wearing glasses from 2019-07-05T11:19:09

I have to remember to treat them all equally, even though one of them is clearly never going to play Leinster Schools Senior Cup rugby due to being basically half-blind.

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‘Your accent has gone full Colin Farrell from Intermission since we passed the turn-off for Newtownmountkennedy’

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‘I know deep down she actually hates that I’m the cool parent’ from 2019-05-10T11:00:49

Honor is at a birthday party – what usually follows is a solicitor’s letter

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Sorcha's old pair are making arrangements for her resting place - but Honor has different ideas.

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'What the fock are you doing in a red Lambo?' from 2019-04-26T17:00:09

Ronan is about to finish college and the old man has a bribe to bring him onside.

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‘We’re going to miss the Easter Bonnet Parade in Dalkey’ from 2019-04-19T10:00:24

Sorcha is crying in the cor. “How could something like this have happened?” she keeps going – over and over again.

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‘Gout? What the fock is gout? And please don’t say it’s caused by rugby’ from 2019-03-15T12:00:48

Preparation for our grudge match with Newbridge isn’t going to plan.

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‘A convicted criminal is what this female student person called me!’ from 2019-02-15T16:14:54

The old man has a plan to stop him being no-platformed by UCD.

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The three boys experience that landmark moment: their first rugby international.

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Why is there no O’Carroll-Kelly building?

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‘Croia called me a Gender Binarist because of my Goys and Dolls party’ from 2018-12-28T12:00:06

‘She said if we hadn’t been friends for 20 years, she would have called the Gords’

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‘Our way of dealing with our children’s anti-social behaviour has been to totally ignore it’ from 2018-12-21T12:00:15

Ross and Sorcha are particularly tense watching the triplets in their nativity play...

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‘I’m sorry but that’s where this Santa Claus draws the line’ from 2018-12-14T08:47:08

Ross, dressed as Santa, can’t believe it when a boy asks him for an Ireland soccer jersey for Christmas

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We are surrounded by empty porking spaces but neither of us is prepared to give up this one.

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‘Our bogey group should be lactose-intolerant Border-county cyclists’ from 2018-11-16T14:00:08

The old man is plotting a fresh course for New Republic given the Peter Casey effect.

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‘I’m now a member of nine Mount Anville WhatsApp groups' from 2018-11-09T16:25:55

This is my life now.

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‘Just because people are vulnerable doesn’t mean they’re not taking the piss’ from 2018-11-02T16:32:16

"Peter Casey has out-Charles-O’Carroll-Kellyed Charles O’Carroll-Kelly" says the old man.

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‘You grew up in south Dublin, but it’s like you arrived from space an hour ago’ from 2018-10-19T15:20:32

Ross gets a horsh lesson on how Mount Anville moms’ WhatsApp groups really work.

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'There’s a girl who works in the Bailey. And before you say anything,we were on a break at the time' from 2018-10-05T08:50:11

What would Johnny Sexton do when confronted with plotting a way through Dublin’s no-go areas?

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My sons take after me in their love of being surrounded by admiring females from 2018-09-14T14:36:33

The boys can presumably see that Mallorie Kennedy is a serious, serious honey.

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‘Working remotely is modern business-speak for on your own time and for no extra money’ from 2018-09-07T08:52:12

I’ve been slaving over the microwave to prepare a family meal for us.

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Dancing with The Tsars Excerpt #2 from 2018-09-05T08:18:56

Sorcha delivers her maiden speech on the floor of the Seanad, with mixed results. The second of four exclusive excerpts from the new Ross O'Carroll Kelly book, Dancing with the Tsars.

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Dancing with the Tsars Excerpt #1 from 2018-09-04T07:30:56

It's the first of four exclusive excerpts from the latest Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book 'Dancing with the Tsars'.

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'A chill goes through my body as I notice her - get this - kissing an actual boy' from 2018-08-17T13:53:27

Honor lasted the course in the Gaeltacht - and that's suspicious.

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‘The hosepipe ban isn’t for People Like Us. It’s only €125’ from 2018-07-13T12:16:02

Fionnuala has tipped waiters that much for a good Martini.

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‘I considered driving over a cliff just so I wouldn’t have to hear their focking voices’ from 2018-07-06T12:19:25

Tempers fray as the family are landed with some cling-ons

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'I'm close to cracking up and we're not even on the runway yet' from 2018-06-29T14:26:58

The family is flying to the south of France. It hasn't started well.

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Ross sets off for the driving test centre, confident it will be 17th time lucky.

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Sorcha wants me to stay home to look after the kids.

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‘He was basically saying I’m Leinster and Ireland’s unsung hero’ from 2018-05-18T11:20:43

So I’m lying on the floor in Bilbao airport – in shock

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It turns out that I’m not as blue-blooded as I thought from 2018-05-11T12:39:40

In fact my ancestors – brace yourselves, goys – are from Munster

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‘I can sense Sorcha tensing up when Honor is asked, “Do you reject Satan?”’ from 2018-04-20T11:06:37

It’s one of the biggest days in the south Dublin social calendar

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‘I’ve chosen Vladimir for my Confirmation name. After Vladimir Putin’ from 2018-03-30T11:44:47

I grab my jacket and I perform my famous Ironmonger Act – I make a bolt for the door.

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‘It’s 500 yoyos to secure a seat, non-refundable in the event of cancellation’ from 2018-03-23T13:14:35

Rude restaurants – in Ranelagh – are back and the family has a booking

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‘You’re going to need to find another sucker – Mother’s Day or no Mother’s Day’ from 2018-03-09T14:01:42

Ireland are playing Scotland – but I know my old dear well enough to know when I’m being blackmailed

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‘You went down a different route, Sorcha. You had a family. Three beautiful children. Plus Honor’ from 2018-03-02T09:53:28

The Mount Anville past pupils breakfast is like LinkedIn with egg white omelettes and epic insincerity.

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The Gord goes: ‘Do you ever inquire as to what your daughter gets up to online?’ from 2018-02-03T09:38:46

‘You’d better look at the video she posted three days ago’...

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‘Your resolution was to become part of the Irish coaching staff. How did you get on?’ from 2017-12-30T10:17:31

“It’s an amazing way of celebrating our Irishness in this period of historic centenaries,” claims Sorcha

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‘Don’t forget to leave a very, very large gin and tonic out for, ahem, Rudolph!’ from 2017-12-15T09:29:15

“Honor has never been sentimental about Christmas. Do you remember the first time we ever watched the Late Late Toy Show together as a family? And she said she wanted to smash all of the toys with ...

‘Dave came back from that HR course like a soldier who’s been to war and can’t speak about it’ from 2017-12-08T14:34:12

Dave from the office was in chorge of payroll until he did a course in human resources in the Smurfit Business School in Blackrock and returned to work six weeks later having lost his sense of smel...

‘Grandad!’ Rihanna-Brogan shouts. ‘Don’t call me that! Call me Rosser. Or Rossmeister’ from 2017-12-01T09:25:03

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly is a grandfather and his old man is building a prison called Robbin’ Island.

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‘You don’t discriminate. You’re a complete pig to absolutely everyone’ from 2017-11-24T10:49:36

“Dad,” she goes, “you are so not a sexist. You’re horrible to women and men. It’s one of the few things I actually like about you.”

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‘I have no prejudices. Except people who aren’t from Dublin’ from 2017-11-17T10:53:06

Lauren, the new Lady Managing Director of Hook, Lyon and Sinker, thinks I have a problem taking orders from women. Which is complete horseshit, of course. I worked behind the bor at the annual Foxr...

‘I know HR is an actual thing now, but to me it’s like homeopathy or dinosaurs' from 2017-11-10T09:59:43

I walk into the office to discover that all of my most treasured possessions have been stuffed into a cordboard box, which is sitting on my desk. We’re talking my ‘That’s Leinstertainment’ travel m...

‘A brain like tiramisu.’ ‘Multi-layered?’ ‘No, soft and full of custard’ from 2017-11-05T22:18:58

Hennessy and the old man have bought Hook, Lyon & Sinker, but the way Hennessy’s talking, it’s not looking like yours truly is their first choice for managing director

from 2017-10-20T08:59:32

My daughter is doing a Closet Purge for her vlog. A purge with a difference – it’s Sorcha’s closet and there’s petrol involved

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‘You’re a bloody good estate agent. I’ve heard of your lack of emotion and basic humanity’ from 2017-10-13T14:31:16

The old man asks me for my thoughts on the Budget – like it affects me somehow?“What Budget?” I go.

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‘If white collar crime is a crime, then why does no one ever go to jail for it?’ from 2017-10-06T11:33:12

If you’d told me, when I was, like, 16 years old, that one day I’d end up literally working for a living, I would have asked you, well, what was the point of playing rugby in the first place?
...

‘This is my actual Dad, Ross. He’s a kind of fat rugby has-been’ from 2017-09-29T11:22:41

It’s like Honor’s had some kind of, I don’t know, personality transplant?

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Operation Trumpsformation: Micheál Mortin Calls The Old Man's Attitude Cavalier & Irresponsible from 2017-09-24T04:58:57

The third of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

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Operation Trumpsformation: Honor, The True Heir to The O'Carroll-Kelly Rugby Name from 2017-09-23T01:25:08

The second of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

Host...

Operation Trumpsformation: The Old Man's Vision for A New Ireland from 2017-09-22T08:38:03

The first of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

Hoste...

‘There could be anything in there: a gun, €100k in cash, one of her teachers gagged’ from 2017-09-17T20:29:09

Ross and Sorcha find something suspicious – but they’re the ones in trouble

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‘The anaesthetist is a total knockout – no pun intended’ from 2017-08-18T11:26:43

“Now,” she goes, “when I give you the injection, I want you to count backwards from 20.”I’m like, “Twenty?” and I can hear the fear in my own voice.

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‘You drove to LA to hear a man from Crumlin swearing? You should have just gone to Crumlin’ from 2017-08-04T15:14:44

Some quick thinking is required of Ross to bail Ronan out of trouble – again

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"We need a name that says it’s for welfare cheats” from 2017-07-07T12:27:49

I’ve hordly ever seen the old man this excited about something non-rugby related.

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‘I hear someone blubbing and I suddenly realise it’s me’ from 2017-06-30T10:03:56

He asked me for 20 snots. And as I peeled two Brodie Jenners off the wad, I could seem him silently kicking himself that he didn’t ask me for 50.

...

'He dresses like shop security from the 1980s' from 2017-06-23T08:20:44

Ross is forced to engage his brain, with surprisingly good results.

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‘Look me in the eye, Rosser. Did you hab sex with my wife that neet?’ from 2017-06-02T12:44:15

We keep driving. He doesn’t say anything for a minute or two. Then he goes, “You know, I shouldn’t eeben be in the cunter doddy.”I’m like, “In the what?”“The cunter doddy. This cunter doddy. Arelin...

‘We all make mistakes, Ro. . . Just try not to sleep with the wives of any other gangland killers’ from 2017-05-26T09:25:04

Sometimes the best advice we can give our children is the most obvious.

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"It’s like if Tarantino directed Wind in the Willows" from 2017-05-12T16:55

Can Ross save Ro from Grievous Bodily Harm?

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Ross rediscovers the simple pleasure of selling property to desperate house-hunters in an overheating morket.

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Honor outwits Ross after a focking disastrous parent-teacher meeting.

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"Ronan, I'm terrified of you being sucked into the world of guns, drugs and non-rugby nicknames" by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘I push the stick towards him with what resembles a dead rat on the end of it’ from 2017-04-07T15:48:25

It’s, like, so random seeing my old man without hair...

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I am so excited thinking about all of the people’s lives we can change with this money! from 2017-04-02T10:20:12

I am so excited thinking about all of the people’s lives we can change with this money! by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: “I’m here to watch Denis O’Brien wipe the floor with you.” from 2017-03-10T13:13:09

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: “I’m here to watch Denis O’Brien wipe the floor with you.” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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"The Dublin accent was invented to allow criminals to talk to each other" from 2017-02-24T17:58:07

"The Dublin accent was invented to allow criminals to talk to each other" by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘If you showed Dermot Bannon around the inside of my head, he’d say the design was minimalist’ from 2017-02-17T13:25:38

‘If you showed Dermot Bannon around the inside of my head, he’d say the design was minimalist’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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They’ll have to rename it ‘Don’t Tell the Bride I Did the Dirt on Her Again’ from 2017-02-10T12:52:56

They’ll have to rename it ‘Don’t Tell the Bride I Did the Dirt on Her Again’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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The old man wants to build Trump’s Mexican wall from 2017-02-03T17:39:11

The old man wants to build Trump’s Mexican wall by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘I thought Pythagoras was something the Greeks dipped their bread in' from 2017-01-20T11:01:41

‘I thought Pythagoras was something the Greeks dipped their bread in' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘I win Most Ingenious Yet Borderline Illegal Use of the Phrase “Within Commutable Distance” award’ from 2017-01-12T09:45

"All those prophets of doom who said we would never again make the mistakes of the Celtic tiger era have been proven well and truly wrong. We’re not only making those mistakes, we’re making lots of...

‘The two of us listen to them roaring at each other’ from 2016-12-29T13:58:31

‘The two of us listen to them roaring at each other’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘The old man is making a complete orse of himself’ from 2016-12-09T15:13:27

‘The old man is making a complete orse of himself’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘I wouldn’t be any kind of best man if I didn’t try to persuade you' from 2016-11-25T13:11:07

‘I wouldn’t be any kind of best man if I didn’t try to persuade you' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘Mount Anville took out a High Court injunction banning me from their debs one year’ from 2016-10-21T12:56:36

‘Mount Anville took out a High Court injunction banning me from their debs one year’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Women want more. I say let them have it. I’m just not sure I’m the man to give it to them from 2016-10-07T11:49:33

Women want more. I say let them have it. I’m just not sure I’m the man to give it to them by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘Honor is pacing in front of the cage, glowering at 200 terrified kids’ from 2016-09-02T12:38:30

‘Honor is pacing in front of the cage, glowering at 200 terrified kids’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 4 from 2016-08-29T06:55:11

RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 4 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 3 from 2016-08-29T06:49:17

RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 3 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 2 from 2016-08-29T06:47:57

RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 2 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 1 from 2016-08-29T06:47:37

RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 1 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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We can hear them chanting through the walls of the dressing room from 2016-08-26T11:53:24

We can hear them chanting through the walls of the dressing room by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘He’s got 12 months of hord training behind him. All I’ve really got is drugs’ from 2016-08-05T13:16:09

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘He’s got 12 months of hord training behind him. All I’ve really got is drugs’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘What’s happening with your face?’ ‘I’m thinking. I’m thinking deeply’ from 2016-07-22T11:44:29

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘What’s happening with your face?’ ‘I’m thinking. I’m thinking deeply’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘I suddenly feel the kind of shame that only a couple of lunchtime pints can help erase’ from 2016-07-16T06:49:14

‘I suddenly feel the kind of shame that only a couple of lunchtime pints can help erase’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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"See that little island down there. Lambay Island. Or – as it will soon be known – Aquatraz" from 2016-07-08T14:54:14

"See that little island down there. Lambay Island. Or – as it will soon be known – Aquatraz" by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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“Do you want to be the fedda puking his ring up on the soyud of the road? from 2016-07-01T13:22:39

“Do you want to be the fedda puking his ring up on the soyud of the road? by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘Are any of you familiar with Countdown?’ Of course they are – they were in UCD from 2016-06-10T15:09:12

‘Are any of you familiar with Countdown?’ Of course they are – they were in UCD by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘You’re like a young Katie Hopkins – except more, I don’t know, evil?’ from 2016-06-03T11:31:33

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘You’re like a young Katie Hopkins – except more, I don’t know, evil?’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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JP’s dad won’t be able to show his face in Doheny & Nesbitt’s again from 2016-05-27T12:37:42

JP’s dad won’t be able to show his face in Doheny & Nesbitt’s again

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She might have fitted into the dress on our wedding day, but now, well..' from 2016-05-20T10:50:51

She might have fitted into the dress on our wedding day, but now, well..' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘If at first you don’t succeed, it’s a pretty good indication you’re never going to’ from 2016-04-29T12:44:27

‘If at first you don’t succeed, it’s a pretty good indication you’re never going to’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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See from 2016-04-15T16:00:59

‘I can’t wait to see Denis O’Brien wipe the floor with you in the High Court' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: doing a hard sell on Inchicore as an estate agent from 2016-04-08T13:46:13

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: doing a hard sell on Inchicore as an estate agent by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘I make sure to just say it in my mind. Because that’s being a good husband' from 2016-03-04T16:33:28

‘I make sure to just say it in my mind. Because that’s being a good husband' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Chorles wants a prison colony for people who don’t pay their water bills’ from 2016-02-27T08:28:26

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Chorles wants a prison colony for people who don’t pay their water bills’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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These apartments will be so small, there won’t be room for two people to break wind from 2016-01-15T13:34:58

These apartments will be so small, there won’t be room for two people to break wind by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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You look like something Dr Marie Cassidy should be going at with rubber gloves and a bone saw from 2015-12-14T15:31:40

You look like something Dr Marie Cassidy should be going at with rubber gloves and a bone saw by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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I actually love women. If that makes me a feminist, then so be it. from 2015-12-14T15:31:31

I actually love women. If that makes me a feminist, then so be it. by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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My son’s nickname is Manslaughter. from 2015-11-06T17:24:11

My son’s nickname is Manslaughter. by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

See from 2015-10-30T16:08:04

Sorcha hasn't touched her chicken by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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“A lot of children are just born that way – they’re d**kheads.” from 2015-10-16T15:34:19

“A lot of children are just born that way – they’re d**kheads.” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘If you bought a gaff in Tenerife, they'd say they bought one in Elevenerife’ from 2015-09-23T12:39:32

‘If you bought a gaff in Tenerife, they'd say they bought one in Elevenerife’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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I should report you – underfloor heating is a human right from 2015-09-18T14:33:03

I should report you – underfloor heating is a human right by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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See from 2015-09-12T06:47:45

RO'CK: It's here. A day I thought I'd never see by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross goes to Electric Picnic: “I’m not staying in a focking tent” from 2015-09-04T09:31:10

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: “It’s not camping,” Sorcha tries to go. “It’s what they call glamping!” Honor whips out her phone. “I’m staying in Castle Durrow,” she goes. “It’s what they call five-stor hot...

People are chanting, "Co'ck for Taoiseach!" from 2015-08-28T15:56:22

People are chanting, "Co'ck for Taoiseach!" by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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‘Whatever you think about two men kicking the humanity out of each other in a cage...' from 2015-08-07T11:17:46

Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘Whatever you think about two men kicking the humanity out of each other in a cage. . . at least it’s not soccer’

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I've got to stop thinking about my old man as an ATM from 2015-07-31T10:19:26

I've got to stop thinking about my old man as an ATM by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - JPs old man from 2015-07-24T16:12:46

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - JPs old man by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

See from 2015-07-10T19:54:26

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - You know that smell by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

See from 2015-07-03T12:50:53

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - I've genuinely never seen Sorcha so angry ... by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

See from 2015-06-26T13:30:47

Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘Why would I want to date you? I’m already married to you.’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

See from 2015-06-22T13:04:27

Ross O'Carroll Kelly (June 20th - 2) by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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See from 2015-06-11T10:15:44

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times

See from 2015-06-11T10:15:43

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times

See from 2015-06-11T10:15:43

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times

See from 2015-06-11T10:15:43

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times

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