Episode 4: Adulting Part 2 - Compromise & Compassion - a podcast by Sandra & Sarah

Hello listeners! ASD adulting was such an extensive subject that Sandra and Sarah are back with a part two, addressing compromise and compassion in adulting. How do you navigate the expectations of family, work, and society, balanced with the right to express yourself as an Autistic individual?

We start with the concept of compromise and compassion in two different forms: compromise and compassion as a Non-Autistic person for an Autistic person, and then compromise and compassion as an Autistic person for a Non-Autistic person.

For the first form of compromise (Non-Autistic for Autistic), the best thing a Neurotypical person can do for an Autistic person is to provide or approve accommodations for the person on the Spectrum. This is because the Autistic person is already meeting them halfway, just being in an environment that isn’t created for anyone who is Neurodivergent. It also helps to know that accommodations aren’t generic for the ASD population, they’re individualized based on age, stressors, environment, and more. Remember that ASD minds are neurologically different, and unique. Behaviors – what are they? They’re not a bad thing, but it’s often spoken of in the negative when it comes to autism. A behavior is merely a form of communication, whether or not it’s understood.

For the first form of compassion (Non-Autistic for Autistic), the best thing a Neurotypical person can do for an Autistic person is to accept boundaries that the ASDer sets in their life – you can help by not being demanding, but you also don’t need to have low expectations. Expect competence on an individual level, don’t assume incompetence. Don’t use the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder to set limits for the person – let the individual do that. Find the strengths and use them, don’t try to fix the weaknesses. The label of autism doesn’t equal flawed or lacking, it just means we’re different.

This is just a taste of the episode, listen in for more and stay tuned for Episode 5: Adulting Part 3!

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