The Enabler - a podcast by Gav
from 2021-10-29T12:50:21
The Enabler is a person who unknowingly is stopping others from evolving, waking up, growing. They think they are helping to save others but in actual fact they are denying that person (and themselves) the catalyst of pain by hitting bottom, and thus finding their own feet.
Stop saving people. Save yourself.
If there is anyone in your life who you think is always there helping others, what you might begin to notice is that they struggle to sit with themselves. I have no doubt they make you and others feel better, which in turn makes them feel better, this is where they get their self esteem, but continually making someone feel better can deny them their own journey, their own struggle. Descending to our depths is part of meeting ourselves. Often those who continually fix or help others, deeply struggle with being still or meeting the depths of who they are, so when they see you moving in that direction they panic.
The Enabler does this not because they are worried about you, although they will tell you this, but because they themselves are afraid of their own journey, the steps they as of yet have been too afraid to take.
Self esteem in an internally nurtured state. If we are gaining our self esteem from helping others, or gaining followers or making money we find ourselves at the mercy of the outside world. Self esteem is not something that comes and goes with income or relationships or clients, it is a state within that ultimately is unmoving regardless of status or the opinion of others.
So notice when you are taking others out of their pain is taking them off their actual path, and if you keep saving them, all you're doing is prolonging their suffering. Offering support is very different to fixing and saving and waking up. Be there, but respect others enough to honour their path.
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