Trekking Life with Jeffrey Tan: Pathfinder * Transformation Coach * Leadership Facilitator. Part 1 - a podcast by Diane F. Wyzga

from 2022-04-21T21:58:52.651381

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Coming to you from Whidbey Island, Washington this is Stories From Women Who Walk. You’ll recognize yourself in these true-life stories from (mostly) women who are walking their lives while their lives walk them and the lasting difference their journeys have made. I’m your host, Diane Wyzga.

Today my guest is Jeffrey Tan: Pathfinder, Transformation Coach and Leadership Mastery Facilitator/Trainer who is joining us from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Jeffrey helps people explore their paths in their personal and professional growth and development. Years of managing and working with people from all walks of life led him to a deep understanding of human behaviors and attitudes. In 1998 Jeffrey attended a Leadership Program to improve himself, and the rest - as they say - is history. Helping people develop their best selves became his passion. I’ve invited Jeffrey to talk with us about changing the narrative that no longer works for you, RISE the signature training program, trekking - including Nepal - and, parenting on COVID lock-down. Welcome to the podcast, Jeffrey!

Minutes 31:12

00 to 3:01 Intro

3:01 to 9:20 Start From Where You Are

Question: I understand that there is some jungle trekking available if I came to visit you. And if so, do you have a favorite jungle to trek?

Jeffrey has 3 favorite treks he enjoys every weekend.
One is still big jungle and the other two are second generation with rubber trees
The places are much green for him and will make do for now

Question: If we got to trek together, what’s the first thing I might notice about you?

Jeffrey would check in with host’s familiarity with trekking, health and ability so he knows the appropriate trails to tackle
Either we would go to easier trails or the more exciting parts as he saw fit

Question: And if we got to one of the more exciting parts of the forest, and had some time to trek along the path what might I get to know about you as my Pathfinder?

Jeffrey will check in now and then to see if host is okay, still in good shape and able to walk as well as enjoy the walk
Very conscious about who he brings and how they enjoy the experience
Story: Jeffrey brought an ex-girlfriend’s mom (actually she tagged along). She claimed to be pretty fit so away they went up a slope (45 to 50 degree incline): “Hey! This is first time you met me and you want to kill me already?”
Jeffrey is very conscious of his walking partners after that episode

Question: What does this Mama Hill area look like? Would you describe it for us.

Mama Hill is one of the most challenging climbs in the forest
Begins with nice smooth downhill in a valley to a little stream.
Path is rooted so you need to watch your footing
Birds chirping, breezes, very pleasant
Crossing the stream is the moment of awareness: how will we get back up? Only 10 to 15 minutes to trek out but very steep

9:20 to 17:50 A Bit of Back Story. Something Happened. Change the Narrative. Reinvent Yourself

This climb is a very good metaphor for what we will be talking about as we go forward. Life going up and down and up again. In all the best books and movies, life is being lived and then something happens. Something in your life called you to reinvent yourself, to change the narrative that was no longer working. Question: Before we get to Trekking and RISE the signature training workshop would you share with us how Life walked you while you were walking your life.

Jeffrey got married late in life, age 44
Enjoyed good 7 to 10 years with 2 wonderful children
When Jeffrey’s daughter was 7 years old Life walked in and said, “Hey! Things are not working out.”
The divorce messed things up - Jeffrey wasn’t prepared
It was quite a tear down for him and messed him up real bad
Jeffrey was in love with his children as well as his wife
Mis-communications got in the way; for which Jeffrey also bears responsibility
This divorce required Jeffrey to take the hard road out of the experience

Host: friends of Jeffrey’s would prove helpful to his recovery

Jeffrey’s story: was very depressed; going through a lot of pain; work was getting done but a friend commented, “I see you here but I don’t feel you.”
This friend spurred Jeffrey to return to hiking
Leading a hike with 2 buddies, another friend said, “Jeffrey, I see you here but I don’t feel you. It’s as if there is no soul in that body walking in front of me.”
This comment stopped Jeffrey!
“I see this smiling face but I don’t feel you; you’re like soul less.” This moment caused Jeffrey to share what had happened with his 2 buddies
We don’t share our pain until a friend interrupts our situation
If Jeffrey’s friend can see him this way, what do others see? Zombie-like
Jeffrey sat with his friends and had a chat - no judgment - only support helped him a great deal
No judgment about either party - no choosing sides - but compassion for him and his children, with expressions of support
This love and support brought him back
His friends were a bridge or the helpers to walk alongside him

17:50 to 22:56 RISE - Jeffrey Tan's Signature Training Program

Question: Will you help us understand this experience and how it connects to RISE your signature training program RISE. Of all things you could have created, why this?

RISE is designed to explore creating possibilities from these uncertain times and create the life you want; a life in which you Take Charge of Your Life and BE in charge. Join us and discover how you can claim victory and stop being a victim of circumstance.
RISE was also because of the COVID pandemic
Jeffrey has always been involved with people development
As a result of Jeffrey’s life experiences he’s more compassionate
Before the divorce Jeffrey was logical and tried to make sense of other people’s pain; whereas now he can see situations from both sides and bring empathy to the table
How did RISE come about? Jeffrey lost job and income with the pandemic; no new projects and no new money
For 5 months or so Jeffrey lived on savings
Jeffrey hit a slump again because of low funds and bills and having children to provide for
He realized that if he woke up feeling blue somehow he felt better by the evening hours; he told himself, “I need to do something about this! Moment over.”
The pity party has ended
Jeffrey realized that his recovery happened pretty quickly; probably because of his coaching/training experience which led to an “Ah Ha! I have the training. Everyone one needs a coach.” Started RISE to help people pick themselves up.
When we are down everything looks hopeless - RISE helps people see possibilities again
Just like his personal experience with the divorce; Daddy can say he loves you but if he doesn’t act, what’s the point?
Jeffrey’s 2 children are his inspiration to Rise Up!

22:56 to 29:11 Tips to Help See the Possibilities

Host: Jeffrey’s children are delightful! As well as being a good barometer to the feelings of the Big Humans. If a parent is unable to show how they love, the children pick it up. The children pull us along, like his friends helped him and now he does this for other. Question: of all his years of leadership training, what 3 skills or traits or qualities are most helpful to Jeffrey working with people today?

If you have a problem, be aware and acknowledge you have it. Denial keeps us from recovery
Know that you are the only one who can deal with the problem. Our friends can be there for us; but we have to do the hard work to get out of the depressive Zombi-like mode and back on track
We also need to have the courage and strength to take action. It’s not easy but it can be done if we are brave enough
Host: having a friend who can help show us the way out can help guide us with courage, determination and resilience
Jeffrey’s story about his trip in Annapurna. The sherpa can bring you from one point to another point along the trail; but the sherpa will not walk your walk; you must carry your own backpack and walk your walk
Jeffrey cannot tell a client what to do or not but looking in from outside as 3rd party looking in can suggest X, Y or Z, or, ask: what if?
We have within us to do what it takes; but we often don’t see if for ourselves
Just like the sherpas who say: Come along! Not very high! You struggle to walk - I know you can do it!
Jeffrey will champion you on - take the time you need to do it your way

Question: Is that where the name Pathfinder came from? Because I understand that’s what you call yourself.

29:11 to 31:12 Outro

Here we are, at the end of the road but not the journey. Thank you for listening to Part 1 of this episode of Stories From Women Who Walk with your host Diane Wyzga and my guest Jeffrey Tan, Pathfinder, Transformation Coach and Leadership Facilitator who joined us from his home in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. We hope you enjoyed and are inspired by our conversation about trekking our lives through difficulties and changing the narrative when the one we are living no longer serves us. We’ll be back in a week with Part 2.

You’re also invited to check out over 500 episodes of this podcast Stories From Women Who Walk found on Simplecast, your favorite podcast platform, including Andriod, and my website: Quarter Moon Story Arts. This is the place to thrive together. Come for the stories - stay for the magic. Speaking of magic, I hope you’ll subscribe, follow, share a nice shout out on your social media or podcast channel of choice, and join us next time! You will have wonderful company as we walk our lives together.

BIO/ABOUT Jeffrey Tan

I'm a Pathfinder, a Coach and learning facilitator. I help people explore their paths in their personal and professional growth and development.

A fisherman and cook on a kelong, a site supervisor for a construction company, a Cleaning Operations Executive handling jobsites covering Kajang to Klang, a housekeeping supervisor in Holiday Villa for 3 months that led into a 25 year sales career as KL Branch Manager in one of Malaysia's premium cleaning supplies company.

Those years of managing and handling peoples from all walks of life led me to an understanding of their behaviors and attitude.

These experience gave me insights into the pains and pleasures of:

1. Managing and understanding expectations of owners as well as the people I was leading.

2. Leading project, sales and operations teams.

3. Training operations and sales teams.

My experiences allowed me insights into the thoughts and behaviors of owners, managers, leaders, admin and operations personnel.

In 1998 I attended a Leadership Program to improve myself, and since then people development became a passion of mine.

I love the outdoors and mountain trekking which began with a trek in FRIM (Forest Research Institute of Malaysia) that led me to Gunung Angsi, Gunung Nuang and finally peaked on Mount Kinabalu. I began craving more adventures and ended trekking Gunung Tahan, ascending from Merapoh in Kelantan and descending in Kuala Tahan 10 days later. As adventures go, it never ends, as i targeted Annapurna Circuit in 2013 after coming down from Mount Kinabalu for the 3rd time.

In April 2014, my team of 8 trekked the Annapurna Circuit, Nepal.

My adventures thought me leadership, team engagement and the practice of self mastery, all of which enriches my training designs.

If you want to UNLEASH YOUR LEADERS in your TEAM...

Explore possibilities with me:

NAKED a Coaching Conversation

https://forms.gle/XtisxNjf5L7rH2CZ8

If you are troubled and feel that you are not in charge of your life anymore join me in

RISE in 90 minutes: https://forms.gle/K5J2FXevot6pTzDb6

How to follow and stay in touch with Jeffrey Tan on LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffrey-tan-pathfinder/

Stories From Women Who Walk Production Team

Podcaster: Diane F Wyzga: Quarter Moon Story Arts

Music: Entering Erdenheim from Crossing the Waters by Steve Schuch & Night Heron Music

Sound Editing: Darwin Carlisle & First Class Reels

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Further podcasts by Diane F. Wyzga

Website of Diane F. Wyzga