B is for Bondage Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey 028 - a podcast by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey - A to Z of Sex

If B is for Bondage
Hi everyone! Welcome to the second series of the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is B and B is for Bondage.
People who enjoy bondage enjoy being restrained. This can take many forms from the very simple using neck ties to tie someone’s legs to the bedposts to using handcuffs, to ornate Shibari (Japanese Bondage) to suspending someone. Some people enjoy having their senses restrained by being in a mask that limits sight, smell and hearing. Others just enjoy a blindfold.
Before we being to delve into the different types of bondage, down to the nitty gritty along with do’s and don’t’s and some recommendations for learning, I’d like to talk a bit about why people report enjoying bondage. To people who have never tried anything like bondage, the whole idea can seem frightening. After all, most people associate bondage with something that is done without your consent. Consent is first priority when engaging in bondage with a partner. Next week’s podcast C is for Consent delves into the subject in great detail.
Could bondage be something you would enjoy? If you haven’t tried any bondage, think about how you feel when someone sets up a surprise for you. If you have ever been blindfolded or told to close your eyes before a surprise, you will remember that feeling of butterflies in your stomach – a mixture of anxiety and excitement – that most people experience when the blindfold goes on. We rely on our sight so much that being without it can be scary indeed but when you agree to have a surprise, then usually most people enjoy that bit of fear, anxiety and excitement and if the surprise is a good one, the whole experience is exciting and becomes a fond memory.
If you think about the blindfold experience for a moment, note what it is about that experience that gives you the butterflies. Is it partly excitement? Is it fear? Is it partly being out of control? For many people it is all of these things. This is also true for other kinds of bondage.
Here are some of the things clients have told me about why they enjoy bondage so much:
Jade told me that for her it is freeing. She said that giving up control and responsibility free her of all anxiety and allows her to accept pleasure.
Robert told me that for him bondage allows him to fully surrender. He said that he finds it almost impossible to surrender to his partner without being restrained. He said that restraint allows him to submit without fighting.
Margie told me that she likes the feeling of being held by the ropes that restrain her. Margie enjoys shibari and says she loves being tied into an intricate rope corset. She says that being held closely makes her feel secure and loved.
Virginia likes being restrained in handcuffs and chains. She says that the chains excite her and that they allow her to act out her fantasy of being a captive. Virginia says that she finds it hard to accept pleasure and that being chained means she doesn’t have a choice but to accept what her lover chooses to do to her.
John likes being wrapped like a mummy. He says that he loves the total sensory deprivation. He says that his experiences are intense and that he has had the most amazing orgasms when in this space.
As you can see, each person has a different experience and different reasons for enjoying bondage. Some people enjoy bondage as part of a power exchange and others enjoy bondage on its own as part of an equal relationship. Some enjoy bondage and discipline and others just enjoy bondage.
Before we move on to the descriptions and the how to part, let’s talk about safety. First it is advisable to be sober when engaging in bondage
There are some obvious things to consider like making sure that any...

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