K is for Kissing - a podcast by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey - A to Z of Sex

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is K and K is for Kissing. 
 I have always thought kissing is under rated.  It is how many cultures express affection and often deep kissing is the first part of a sexual encounter.   When we are children, many of us learn that a kiss from a parent can heal wounds.     As a parent, there is nothing like a kiss from your child.     As for lovers, if kissing doesn’t work, often the relationship ends right there.  Kissing can be formal and ritualistic – seen as a sacrament.    Kissing the hand can be the symbol of respect.  But where does kissing come from? 
There are two schools of thought as to where kissing began.  One school of thought sees kissing as developing from feeding where the mother would pre-chew the child’s food and transfer it mouth to mouth.   The other school of thought is that kissing is instinctual.  
Kissing as part of sex is mentioned as early as 3500 years ago in Hindu and Bhuddist writings.  The Kama Sutra devotes an entire chapter on kissing! 
Kisses in the Kama Sutra include:The nominal kiss – The woman allows the lover to initiate the kiss and merely responds with a press of the lips.
The throbbing kiss – The woman opens her mouth slightly, moving her low lip only.The touching kiss – The woman places her hands over her lovers and also touches his lip with her tongue.
The straight kiss  - both parties share equally and place their lips together.The bent kiss – lovers bend their heads towards each other as they kiss
The pressed kiss – The lower lips of both lovers are pressed tightly against each other.The greatly pressed kiss – One lover cups the lower lip of the other with two fingers and then touching the lip with their tongue, presses it tightly with their own lip.
The wager kiss – Each lover tries to grab the other’s lower lip first.  This is a teasing game played and women are advised to cry in order to win the game or increase the wager.The kiss of the upper lip – Both lovers concentrate on one of the lips – or the or one partner initiates the upper kiss by getting the upper lip of the other nd the other gets the lower lip and they use the whole of their lips in the kiss.
The clasping kiss – One of the lovers takes both the lips of the other in to theirs and smooches.  If the tongue touches palate, teeth or tongue of the other then it is called the fighting of the tongue. The Kama Sutra goes on to talk about the emotions induced by different types of kisses. 
 Kissing is noted in the Old Testament on a number of occasions.   The Song of Songs has probably the most often quoted lyric on kissing ‘May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is better than wine’.
 The Romans adored kissing and were probably responsible with spreading it from North Africa through to Europe.  They defined several types of kissing – the hand or cheek, the mouth with closed lips (for relatives) and with open mouth (passionate kiss).
 The study of kissing began sometime in the 19th century and was named philematology. Darwin wrote about kissing and kissing-like behaviours (rubbing noses, sniffing the other person). Darwin believed that kissing was innate behaviour.  
 Wherever there is deep affection, kissing is used to express it.  It has been used as an expression of extreme gratitude.   In East Asian cultures, sniff kissing (sniffing the person and kissing the cheek) is the most common form of kissing and mouth to mouth kissing is reserved for sexual foreplay.
 So what is it about kissing that draws us in?  Kissing uses all of our senses.   Take a moment and think about the last really good kiss you experienced.   Do you remember the smell of the other person, the taste of their mouth, how their lips felt?   Kissing gives us the opportunity to connect intimately. 

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