L is for Lust - a podcast by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey - A to Z of Sex

L is for Lust
 Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is L and L is for Lust. 
 Lust is defined as strong sexual desire.  We often speak of it as a strong craving – sexual desire that can border on obsession.    Lust of that intensity creates an attachment to the person lusted after.    There is a lot of reference to lust in religion – as to why lust is damaging.   In religion, passion and lust are separated.  Passion being seen as acceptable and lust being seen as damaging.
 In the Buddhist tradition, lust is damaging as it is seen as the passionate desire and attachment to things, people, situations and it is this attachment that causes suffering. 
 In Christianity, the translation of the New Testament into English from the Greek has led to the term desire being translated into lust which is linked to sexual desire.   While this make sense when one looks at Matthew 5:27-28 Ye have heard it said by many time thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you whoever shall look on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery already in his heart.   It doesn’t when looking at other parts of the translation.
 Often people are told they do not know the difference between lust and love.  When people fall ‘in love’ some therapists believe that this is actually just lust in action.    Lust comes an intensity that can make it hard to distinguish between physical desire and emotional intimacy.  I am not saying that lust isn’t a part of being in love and also a part of long term love.  Sexual passion is an amazing part of an intimate relationship.  However, confusing love for lust can lead us to making really bad relationship choices.   Lust can overwhelm logical thinking.  Safe sex conversations go out the window as you give into your impulses putting you both at risk (as well as any other partners you might have).  Do you know if they are married?  In a monogamous relationship?  You would be surprised how many people forget this conversation too when intense lust takes control.  
Again, I don’t want to put you off riding this incredible wave of sexual desire.  I simply want to highlight the need to separate that physical passion from emotional intimacy.  
Instant attraction, intense lust, is a great ego boost but if it dies down quickly it can leave you questioning whether any of it was real.   It leaves you questioning yourself and your value.  And you can end up questioning the other person’s value too. 
Lust can drive us to do things we might otherwise not consider.  Our limits and boundaries fly out the window when the chemical and hormonal cocktail takes over.  Sometimes this leads to phenomenal peak sexual experiences.  Other times it can leave us feeling awful.      We have to be careful to own our part in these experiences.  Making a bad decision does not mean that we were coerced by the other person.    It may well mean that we were coerced by our own bodies into acting on an impulse.    We have to be willing to look clearly at the experience and then forgive ourselves and our bodies and move on. 
Many of us fall prey to lust because of a fear of missing out.  The dreaded FOMO.    This comes from a scarcity mind set.    There is an abundance of experiences and an abundance of desirable partners out there.    You havetime to take a breath and think things through before acting on your lust.
 Of course you are always free to choose to act on your lust.  If you are like me and are a believer in synchronicity, then acting on an intense connection may be important to you.   Synchronicity is defined as :
the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (such as similar thoughts in widely...

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