M is for Movies - a podcast by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey - A to Z of Sex

M is for Movies
 Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is M and M is for Movies. 
 Most of us respond to stories.    Stories keep us engaged, especially when we can relate to the characters.    The movies we enjoy most are the ones that tell a great story.   If you have watched most pornography, you will know that most of these movies do not tell great stories and many of them tell no stories at all.    The attraction is the opportunity to see all sorts of sex being engaged in by all manner of people.    Most pornography is watched solo and is watched long enough to reach orgasm.  Not many people watch full movies of old style porn.  The story lines are usually non-existent and characters so poorly drawn as to be ridiculous.  People talk about the ‘purpose’ of pornography of being the creation of desire and arousal and therefore many see no use in telling a story.  
Fantasies are stories and when the stories are well written and well told, you can be drawn in and aroused before you know it.  The best erotica causes arousal even when it is something you normally would not find arousing.  That can be really disconcerting.   A well told fantasy may introduce you to a desire you didn’t know you had.    Good characters will seduce us, draw us in until we cannot wait to see what will happen next. Think of the last really good film you saw.  Did you feel a part of the story?  Some characters are so engaging, that the movie going public supports enough sequels to create a franchise.     
There are a variety of female film makers who have been creating pornography with story lines.    And women who have created sites that are geared towards erotica and pornography for women.  Anne Frolicme, founder of http://frolicme.com/ has created a site with erotic films, stories and photo collections aimed at women.    Erika Lust http://erikalustfilms.com/ directs, writes screen plays and produces.  Angela Rowntree started http://sssh.com/ (http://sssh.com/), an erotica site for women.   She began to produce films in the mid-90’s and started focusing on women in 1999.  When she talks about what is different about her films, she highlights realistic scenarios, relatable characters and real pleasure instead of acted orgasms.  
For couples who find straight pornography or even more modern pornography with a good story line uncomfortable, there are many movies that are extremely erotic without any graphic sex scenes.    I created an ebook called 74 Movies that are not Pornography with a list of 74 of them.  
Good movies can help us to explore all types of fantasies, fetishes, and desires.  They can be a good first step when considering if you want to engage in a particular type of sexual behaviour.  If erotica about that fantasy turns you on, that is an indication you may wish to explore further.  However, just because something turns us on when viewed on the screen,  doesn’t mean it will turn us on enacted in real life.    Some things are meant to stay fantasies.  Fantasies give us the opportunity to try on identities, sexualities, genders, relationship styles.  They give us the opportunity to explore taboos without risks and as long as we understand these are just fantasies, without shame.  
Some of the movies on my list are old movies.  For example, The Man In Grey is from 1943.  It’s a British costume drama.  Why is it on the list?  It has James Mason who is frequently in tight britches with riding crop and treating Phyllis Calvert appallingly.    It may not work for you, but many of us found this movie enticing.  Belle de Jour with Catherine Deneuve from 1967 is extremely steamy.  Lolita was made in 1962 by Stanley Kubrick and based on the...

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