Reboot: M is for Monogamy - a podcast by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey - A to Z of Sex

Please enjoy again: M is for Monogamy
 M is for Monogamy
 Happy New Year everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  This episode comes out on 1 January 2018.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones.  Today the letter is M and M is for Monogamy.
 The Ethnographic Atlas Codebook classifies 84.6% cultures as polygynous (1 husband multiple wives), 15.1% classified as monogamous and .3% as polyandrous (1 wife, multiple husbands).    Monogamy is a minority life choice when you look at world cultures.   When we look at human evolution, hunter gatherer and tribal societies historically practiced forms of polyamory.  So how did monogamy become the preference and even the only legal form of romantic relationship in western society?  
 Some of this may be due to the spread of Christianity.  However, the most agreed upon explanation is that people who were anti-polygyny had larger and stronger armies.  Monogamous groups grow larger because more men have wives within the group so they don’t have to leave to find wives in another group.    Scheidel (2009) talks about monogamy in Greco-Roman times and says that monogamy was socially imposed and this allowed men of lower status to marry.  In fact, these men were offered the possibility of wives in exchange for military service and taxes.  
 Monogamy and non-monogamy have pros and cons.  Some people are better suited to one form of relationship style than the other.  Often peopledon’t choose a particular style but simply absorb what is expected of them based on their family upbringing and cultures. 
 Pros of Monogamy:
Sex improves over time.If you spend time and attention on your relationship, sex can improve the longer you know each other.  There is nothing like sex with someone who knows every inch of you and all of the things that make you scream. 
Intimacy of all types can be deeper.There is a deeper intimacy that is born out of sharing with someone for along time.  This comes from coping with difficult times, living through
trauma together, experiencing joy together, sharing each other’sachievements.  The level of emotional connection becomes more
intense over time and interaction. Higher levels of emotional intimacyare associated with higher self-esteem, lower levels of stress, higher
levels of happiness. 
Higher degree of emotional security.If you choose monogamy and both you and your partner are faithful to your vows, you have a higher degree of emotional security.  You know that your partner will have your back no matter what.  You have a true partner – someone to rely on, someone who will place your well-being high up on their priority list. 
More physical securityTwo working together are often able to create more physical security. Two incomes make sorting out the usual expenses easier and sometimes much easier.  Even in households where only one is earning, physical life is easier as the other often provides services and support for daily living.  When one person is unable to work, the other is there to foot the bill.  Monogamous couples make commitments to each other about taking care of each other when illness strikes.  Often this provides more security than any other commitment. 
A guaranteed cheering section.In a good relationship, your spouse/partner is your biggest fan.  They can provide you with acknowledgement of your achievements, motivation and solace when you fail.  People who have a good support system have lower stress levels and reach more of their goals. 
FamiliarityWhen you are familiar with someone, you feel you can relax fully without worrying that your relationship will fail.  Familiarity means that you don’t always feel you must be on your best...

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