W is for Watersports Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey 023 - a podcast by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey - A to Z of Sex

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter W and W is for Watersports and other fetishes.
Watersports has nothing to do with having sex in the shower or in the ocean. Watersports is sexual play involving urine. For some people, just the thought is an instant turn off. Others are intrigued.
There are quite a few activities that can be included in watersports. Some people just like to watch someone (usually women) pee. There is a huge amount of pornography that focuses on women peeing in various places (outdoors and toilet cams). This is connected with other types of voyeurism. Some people like to watch people (again often women) pee when it is an ‘accident’. There are people who like to pee on others and some who like to be peed on. These are commonly called golden showers.
In Japan there is a separate fetish called omorashi which is the fetish for holding in your urine until the need to pee becomes urgent or making someone else hold their urine or watching someone who is clearly desperate to pee.
Many watersports fetishes are linked to domination and submission and humiliation. Some are linked to exhibitionism (peeing in public, ‘accidents’ in public).
There is pussing (which is a British term) where a man will watch a woman pee in a semi-public place like in a park behind some bushes, or in the toilet at the pub. The turn on starts when trying to smuggle the other person into or out of the toilet.
Finally there is clothes wetting which is a specific fetish in and of itself.
Research done by Jennifer Eve Rehor of San Francisco State University in 2011 found that only about 36% of the 1580 fetishists/kinky people she surveyed engaged in watersports. This compared to 94% of the sample who enjoyed spanking.
Clients who have come to see me who enjoy watersports have usually found it difficult to disclose this to their partners. Joe was petrified that his partner, Aaron, would be disgusted if he mentioned his desire to have Aaron pee on him. He told me that he had always had this desire and remembered as a child trying to get other children to pretend to pee on him. I asked him if he felt shame when he thought about this and he told me that he had always felt shame about this desire but not enough shame to stop indulging in it. Joe told me that he had only engaged in golden showers with casual partners because of his fear of being rejected. He said that he and Aaron were planning to become exclusive and he knew if he didn’t talk about this with Aaron it would mean forgoing indulging in his favourite fetish forever.
We spent a couple of sessions on reducing his shame. Lots of people who have fetishes report that shame can be paralysing. Many report fetishes beginning in childhood and being shamed by their parents for sexual behaviour. Even today children who are caught masturbating are often told they are dirty or disgusting or that their genitals are dirty or disgusting. This creates a link between shame and sexuality that is often very difficult to sever. For some, shame becomes an integral part of sex and they will seek out humiliation. These people find humiliation a turn on. However, they don’t usually experience shame as all positive. Many feel shame after these activities and can feel intense self-loathing and self-hatred. For others, the link between shame and sex makes it very difficult for them to enjoy any sexual activity. In these cases, therapy to deal with the shame and uncover where it has come from is often needed so that person can enjoy sex in the future.
Joe and I spent a few sessions working on his fears and decreasing the shame he felt. Then he practiced talking about his fetish with me for a few sessions including

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