Podcasts by The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

Ep. 247: The One Where Nat Went To Therapy from 2021-12-17T08:00

In the final episode of 2021, Natalie shares a little on surprising herself by going to therapy this year and how 2021 pushed her to new, deeper places. 

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Ep. 246: Can We Know If a New Partner is Emotionally Available? from 2021-12-10T08:18:11

Natalie delves into what's going on when we try to find out whether someone we've just met (or have only just started a relationship with) is emotionally available. 

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Ep. 245: Disagreeing With Loved Ones Doesn’t Have to Be Threatening from 2021-12-03T09:42:15

Why might we be able to debate and have disagreements at work or in certain situations but panic and shut down or become defensive with loved ones? Natalie delves into why we feel threatened by ...

Ep. 244: It Often Sucks Before It's a 'Blessing in Disguise' from 2021-11-26T08:00

With the 20:20 vision of hindsight, we often recognise our blessings in disguise. But at the time, whatever we're going through can suck, and Natalie talks about the importance of allowing ourse...

Ep. 243: That's Not My Baggage! I Know What's Mine 😁 from 2021-11-12T08:00

Natalie shares how she learned to stop taking responsibility for other people's baggage and how this inspired the show's central question: What's the baggage behind it?

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Ep. 242: But Will You Actually Get Into Trouble? from 2021-11-05T08:00

Natalie explains why learning to be unconditionally obedient skewed our perception of negative consequences and why it's time to update our thinking so that we stop scaring ourselves out of taki...

Ep. 241: Always The Strong or Supportive One? People Might Not Know You're In Need from 2021-10-29T07:00

Natalie talks about how our resistance and discomfort about asking for help or support reveals our reliance on being The Strong or Supportive One. 

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Ep. 240: Oh-Oh for Intensity and Fast Trust from 2021-10-22T07:00

We've texted or hung out with someone several times, why do we think know them already? Natalie shares why intensity causes us to mistakenly extend trust. 

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Ep. 239: Conflict Spotlights The Truth of Our More Fragile Relationships from 2021-10-15T07:00

Natalie talks about the thoughts and feelings we default to when certain people disappoint, annoy or upset us and how these can help us have a more honest relationship, both with ourselves and t...

Ep. 238: Be Careful Who You Tell Your Problems To from 2021-10-08T07:00

Being able to get things off our chest is crucial to our wellbeing and part of our intimate relationships, but sometimes we chat out our business to the wrong people! Natalie shares some of the ...

Ep. 237: 'Mutual' is a Mentality from 2021-10-01T07:00

Natalie dives into the importance of approaching our interactions and relationships with a 'mutual mentality' so that we don't devalue, exploit and short-change ourselves. 

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Ep. 236: Let's Stop Minimising Those Big Little Things from 2021-09-24T07:00

Natalie explains why downplaying the truth or significance of something—minimising—whether it’s who we are and what we need or other people’s asks, expectations or behaviour, leads to big proble...

Ep. 235: Delusions of Inferiority from 2021-09-17T07:00

Plenty of us are a little bit too used to blaming ourselves for other people's feelings and behaviour and determining that we're not 'good enough'. But not everything is about us, and in this we...

Ep. 234: *Sometimes* We're Controlling in Our Relationships from 2021-09-10T07:00

Sometimes our habit of trying to control the uncontrollable creeps into our relationships. Natalie delves into this tricky subject, sharing some surprising examples as well as advice for how to ...

Ep. 233: Eek, Am I Doing Self-Care Wrong? from 2021-07-16T07:00

Natalie talks about how and why we put ourselves under pressure about taking care of ourselves and shares tips for breaking this perfectionism habit so that we don't have unrealistic expectation...

Ep. 232 Columboing New&Prospective Partners on Social Media from 2021-07-09T07:00

When we've just started talking to, dating or going out with somebody and feel anxious about something, it's not uncommon to do a spot of columboing, snooping around their profile to see if they...

Ep. 231: One-Trait Minds and The Polar Opposites Game from 2021-07-02T07:00

Natalie talks about why being drawn to one particular thing in romantic partners can prove to be a major blind spot.

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Ep. 230: Why you're still thinking about that certain someone or thing from 2021-06-25T07:00

It's easy to assume that the reason you're still thinking about someone (or something) because it means you're still crazy about them, mad with them, or that you're still invested in the situati...

Ep. 229: Burning Out on 'Being There' for Others from 2021-06-18T07:00

Natalie talks about why we don’t have to become drained, resentful or burnt out from supporting others. 

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Ep. 228: 'But why am I experiencing problems?' from 2021-06-11T07:00

As humans, we don't like having problems, especially when we feel it's unwarranted and that we've done all the right things. But what if this is part of the problem in the first place? Natalie s...

Ep. 227: The Reset Button from 2021-06-04T07:00

Natalie talks about when somebody attempts to erase the past by acting as if it didn't happen and trying to pick up where they [decided they] left off.

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Ep. 226: Yeah, But Am I Needy? from 2021-05-21T07:00

So many of us fear that we are 'needy' and so settle for less than what we need, desire and deserve. We also may have been called it by someone else, and it's left a mark. Natalie dives into the...

Ep. 225: Are We Giving or *Imposing*? from 2021-05-14T07:00

Natalie talks about why our attempt to be giving or to make amends can backfire if our actions cross boundaries. 

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Ep. 224: Our Experience of Someone May Differ Due to Context from 2021-05-07T07:00

It can be super frustrating when you have a negative experience of someone, and everyone else thinks the sun shines out of them. Natalie talks about why our experience of a person can differ due...

Ep. 223 The Gaslighting of Future Faking from 2021-04-30T07:00

When somebody fakes a future to get what they want in the present, the disappointment, confusion, self-doubt and sense of rejection can leave us reeling and distrusting. Natalie revisits Future ...

Ep. 222: They're Just Not That into You? from 2021-04-23T09:06:28

Natalie talks about why the infamous piece of advice, 'He's just not that into you' from the 2004 book of the same name, can easily be misinterpreted as 'You're not enough' or 'They behaved as t...

Ep. 221 Sometimes We've Got To Block, Delete or Unfriend from 2021-04-16T07:00

Natalie talks about why we resist blocking, unfriending or deleting even when continuing to engage harms our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. 

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Ep. 220: We're Allowed To Have Work Boundaries from 2021-04-09T07:00

Boundaries are widely misunderstood, so it's no surprise that so many of us struggle to have that at work. Natalie dives into what it means to have work boundaries and why they matter. 

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Ep. 219: You Are Allowed To Rest from 2021-04-02T08:00

Natalie delves into our messy relationship with rest, including acting as if we owe everyone our 'free time' to others and our fear of appearing 'lazy'.

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Ep. 218: Three Vulnerability Habits to Live By from 2021-03-26T08:00

Natalie talks about the three vulnerability habits we all need to embrace: admitting what we don't know, admitting when we've made a mistake, and admitting when we're in the wrong.

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Ep 217: Trust Is a Gamble, but We Can Learn To Make Good Bets from 2021-03-19T08:00

Natalie talks about shifting our relationship with trust to a healthy place, including recognising where some of the things we do to foster trust or 'make' someone prove that they are trustworth...

Ep. 216: The Truth About Breakups from 2021-03-12T08:00

Natalie talks about why we need to shift our perception of what a breakup is and what it means about us so that we can let go of old stories and painful feelings that still affect us today. 

Ep. 215: Fear of Criticism Doesn't Have To Run Your Life from 2021-03-05T08:00

Natalie talks about why we need to change our relationship with criticism so that we stop investing so much of ourselves into trying to control the uncontrollable and being self-critical.

Ep. 214: We Don't Need To Put So Much Bandwidth Into Keeping Up Appearances from 2021-02-26T08:00

Natalie talks about how we've been socialised to keep up appearances and why this pretence, whether it's about nothing being wrong or that who we are is not OK, is damaging to our wellbeing and ...

Ep. 213: There's No Need to Try&Meet All of Your Needs On Your Own from 2021-02-19T08:00

Sometimes we try to 'manage ourselves' too much instead of articulating a need or a boundary. Natalie shares her insights from a recent experience of this and how it's revolutionised her attitud...

Ep. 212: People Can Be More Than One Thing from 2021-02-12T08:00

Natalie explains why it's time to recognise that people can be more than one thing and stop denying, rationalising, minimising, excusing, assuming and generalising ourselves into feeling stuck b...

Ep. 211: Too Good To Be True? from 2021-02-05T08:00

Natalie explores the unease we experience when we believe that things seem a little or a lot too perfect and what we can learn from it

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Ep. 210: I am anxious about something from 2021-01-29T08:00

Natalie shares how we can use our awareness of certain habits as a notification that we are anxious about *something* so that we can take better care of ourselves. 

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Ep. 209: The Compatibility Factor from 2021-01-22T08:00

In the first episode of 2021, Natalie breaks down compatibility, our ability co-exist harmoniously with someone or something. 

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Ep. 208: Scope Creep Makes Your Boundaries Beep from 2020-12-11T08:25:25

What does a project shifting dramatically, increased work responsibilities or hours beyond what was originally agreed, an overbearing and critical partner who always 'knows best', and someone in...

Ep. 207: Let's Be More Truthful About Loneliness from 2020-12-04T09:22:56

So many of us have been conditioned to feel shame about loneliness and to misunderstand what it is and why we and others experience it. Natalie talks about shifting our perception of loneliness ...

Ep. 206: Let's Wait Awhile from 2020-11-27T08:00

Some of us are waiting to have sex. It might be until marriage, it might be until the relationship has reached a certain point, it might be that we haven't had it yet and so we're waiting to tru...

Ep. 205: Four steps to assertively communicating what you want to do from 2020-11-20T09:07:03

The trap that so many of us fall into when we recognise our discomfort or that we don't want to do something is having a passive response. Natalie shares four steps for having a more assertive r...

Ep. 204: Let's Talk About Family Estrangement from 2020-11-13T08:00

Natalie talks about a subject that many people grapple with but often feel ashamed. Even if estrangement isn't something you've dealt with, this episode is also about how we need to update our p...

Ep. 203: OK, But What Is Intimacy? from 2020-11-06T08:00

Natalie does a deep dive into a subject that creates a level of discomfort in a lot of humans to answer a question that befuddles so many of us even though we put so much effort into trying to e...

Ep. 202: Let's Talk About Sex from 2020-10-30T08:00

It's 2020, and yet, so many of us have a confusing, complicated and even shameful relationship with sex that causes us to be and do things that don't reflect who we really are or what we really ...

Ep. 201: Who were you 'getting to know' over those texts? from 2020-10-23T07:00

While it isn't a new issue, disappointment about online interactions not blossoming into something bigger and better in real life seems to have been heightened by the pandemic, thanks to it limi...

Ep. 200: The One Where Nat and Em Hang Out from 2020-10-16T07:00

To celebrate the 200th episode of the podcast (yay!), Natalie sits down for a chat with her very first guest (and the one who came up with the idea for the show!), her husband, Em. Using questio...

Ep. 199: Yes Isn't A 'Clean' Word If It's Not Authentic from 2020-10-09T07:00

Natalie talks about why no isn't a dirty word and how it leads to saying yes to more of the people, things and opportunities that reflect who you really are. 

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Ep. 198: Perfectionism and The Idealised Version of Ourselves from 2020-10-02T07:00

We all have an idealised version of ourselves, an image that reflects perfection or that's certainly 'better' than reality. Natalie talks about how being disconnected from and not appreciating o...

Ep. 197: Code Amber and Red Alerts from 2020-09-25T07:00

Ignoring or dismissing warning signs about a person or situation means that we ignore and dismiss ourselves. Natalie explains how categorising 'red flags' as code amber and red alerts help us to...

Ep. 196: Taking Things Too Personally from 2020-09-18T07:00

Sometimes we take things so personally that it derails us. We feel stuck in shame, rejection, rumination and resentment, and we might behave in ways that don't reflect who we are in the main. Na...

Ep. 195: When 'Nice' Covers Up Anger and Control from 2020-09-11T07:00

Sometimes, how we feel on the inside doesn't match what we're doing on the outside. We act what we think is 'nice' as a way to suppress and repress ourselves. In other instances, we encounter so...

Ep. 194: Let's Talk About Self-Sabotage from 2020-07-31T07:00

Natalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage. 

**Please note! The podcast will go on hiatus until 11th...

Ep. 193: The Landmarks of Boundaried Communication from 2020-07-24T07:00

Am I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have? 

Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communicati...

Ep. 192: "I Guilt You So Much!" from 2020-07-17T07:00

So many of us don't realise how we spend our lives doing things from a place of guilt. We think we're being noble and loving, but near-constantly feeling bad about ourselves and avoiding healthy...

Ep. 191: About Defining The Relationship from 2020-07-10T07:00

Defining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anxiety that comes with it. Natalie talks about...

Ep. 190: Did I scare them off? Was it my Jedi mind tricks? from 2020-07-03T07:00

Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-powerful influence caused someone or a situation ...

Ep. 189: Let's Talk About Chemistry from 2020-06-26T07:00

Chemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of us walk into time and again. Natalie breaks d...

Ep. 188: The Landmarks of Healthy Relationships from 2020-06-19T07:00

How do we distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one? Natalie explains the landmarks of healthy relationships: balance, commitment, consistency, intimacy and progression.

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Ep. 187: The Lather, Rinse, Repeat of the Frustrating Dating Cycle from 2020-06-12T07:25:02

When promising chats and dates don't lead to the relationship we want and anticipated, we can feel stuck in a frustrating dating cycle. But what if what's causing the lather, rinse, repeat is a ...

Ep. 186: Following Through On Intentions&Words With Action from 2020-06-05T08:00

Natalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased awareness and conversations about racism.

Ep. 186: Let's Talk About Gaslighting from 2020-05-29T07:00

There was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far more prevalent than we realise. Natalie shares ...

Ep. 186: Let's Talk About Gaslighting from 2020-05-29T07:00

There was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far more prevalent than we realise. Natalie shares ...

Ep. 184: 'Why Am I Feeling OK?' and Other Worries from 2020-05-22T07:00

Natalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and Why aren't I doing more? ...

Ep. 183: Normal People and Casual Relationships from 2020-05-15T04:00

When Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of replies about this portrayal of a casual (sometim...

Ep. 182: Your 'Worthiness' Isn't To Blame from 2020-05-14T14:56:31

What if having your needs and wants met has absolutely nothing to do with how worthy you are and whether you 'deserve' it? Natalie shares a recent light-bulb moment and talks about why we have t...

Ep. 181: Unsatisfactory Endings and Closing The Story Loop from 2020-05-01T16:32:43

Humans don't like unsatisfactory endings, hence why we feel as if we're left hanging by the sudden cancellation of a TV series or a dodgy ending. Natalie talks about how our desire to close loop...

Ep.180: Time For A Second (Or Umpteenth) Chance? from 2020-04-24T15:36:38

When someone shows us who they are, they're showing us their values. If that's different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge this. But sometimes, despite what we know, ...

Ep. 179: Better The Devil You Know? from 2020-04-17T09:31

When an ex who didn't treat us with love, care, trust and respect starts saying 'all the right things', it's all-too-easy to be nostalgic. Before we plot our fairy-tale ending or abandon opportu...

Ep. 178: About Allowing You To Feel Angry from 2020-04-10T13:01:27

So many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. Natalie talks about why allowing ourselves to feel angry is critical to our emoti...

Ep. 177: Discomfort and the Time-Off Thermostat from 2020-04-03T14:12:51

What's your tolerance for discomfort, boredom or time out from your typical routine? Natalie talks about our discomfort with having time and space, especially when it means that we might feel an...

Ep. 176: Voicing Issues To Be Better Than Before from 2020-03-27T07:00

Natalie revisits the topic of improving communication in our intimate relationships. When we recognise that we're experiencing an issue or that we need to express difficult emotions or thoughts,...

Ep. 175: Hard Resets, Anxiety and Corona Miracles with Exes from 2020-03-20T14:14:30

What do you do when you feel as if your whole world has been turned upside down? Well, that's something that a lot of us are feeling right now. Natalie shares some thoughts on navigating anxiety...

Ep. 174: Let's Not Be Cool With Taking Advantage Or Being Taken Advantage Of from 2020-03-13T15:23:21

Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party is benefitting from it. Natalie talks about ...

Ep. 173: It's Time To Talk About Stonewalling from 2020-03-06T12:14:22

Have you ever experienced stonewalling in a relationship (or possibly engaged in it yourself)? In another episode about understanding and improving communication in our intimate relationships, N...

Ep. 172: It's Okay To Not Know What You Want from 2020-02-21T12:36:52

Natalie talks about why not knowing what you want doesn't have to mean something terrible and why it's going to be tricky to listen to what you want if you're not listening to and meeting your n...

Ep. 171: Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop from 2020-02-14T10:38:33

Meeting someone new sometimes causes us to become preoccupied with answering the question 'Are you trustworthy?' When things are going well in an area of our life, this sometimes also causes us ...

Ep. 170: Conflict&The Five Stages of Relationships from 2020-02-07T15:02:26

Something that makes so many of us nervous is navigating conflict within romantic relationships. Natalie revisits her five stages of relationship framework to explain conflict and how it's part ...

Ep. 169: 'They journal/meditate/do yoga/go to therapy. Shouldn't they be more emotionally intelligent?' from 2020-01-31T13:16:31

Some people feel confused, angry and hurt when their relationship doesn't work out because they believed that the person 'should' have delivered because of self-care practices they engaged in. N...

Ep. 168: Lessons From Freaking Out from 2020-01-24T12:54:17

Have you ever freaked out about something, noticed that you are, continued to freak out somewhat, but then calmed down? That's what happened to Natalie recently when her daughter had to prepare ...

Ep. 167: Beep Me 911 - Why didn't you text back? from 2020-01-17T12:57:18

Texting anxiety has become increasingly prevalent over the years. Between read receipts, being able to see if they're online or when they were last online, seeing someone type and then pause, an...

Ep. 166: We've Got To Stop Pumping People Up With Our Great Expectations from 2020-01-10T00:00

Trying to get something or someone to live up to the picture we painted in our mind can be a great source of hurt for us humans. It's something we have to strive to do less of to heal, grow and ...

Ep. 165: Acceptance Is The Way Through from 2019-12-20T00:00

Natalie gets ready for her Christmas break and the new year and decade ahead by sharing her thoughts on the gift of acceptance. 

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Ep. 164: Am I In The Right Job? from 2019-12-13T00:00

So many people wonder if they're in the right relationship, but plenty wonder if they're in the right job. Given how much time we spend at work, it's understandable that disillusionment or uncer...

Ep. 163: Keeping Up With Comparison Part Two from 2019-12-06T00:00

In the second of this two-part episode (part one), Natalie shares ideas for breaking the cycle of comparison. Listen

Ep. 162: Keeping Up With Comparison Part One from 2019-11-29T00:00

Do you feel inadequate around certain people or suddenly feel as if your life that you're normally happy with is like poop beside theirs? Do you come away from using social media feeling really ...

Ep. 161: The Secret Sauce of Being You Is The Remedy For Life's Challenges from 2019-11-22T00:00

All humans desire acceptance the most, but a hell of a lot of us are scared of the real us being rejected and so we struggle to be ourselves. But this always leads to problems. Natalie shares le...

Ep. 160: Interest In Someone or Something is a Hypothesis from 2019-11-15T00:00

Have you given you a hard time about interested in something or someone that turned out to be wrong for you? Or, has someone's change of interest in you or a relationship left you baffled and hu...

Ep. 159: Feeling Stressed Or Overwhelmed Isn't An Inconvenience; It's Help from 2019-11-08T00:00

If you've ever been self-critical because you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed or low-energy, it's time to pay attention to these messages from your life. Natalie talks about the importance of...

Ep. 157: 'Damaged Goods'&Relationship Experience from 2019-10-26T00:00

When we think that we (or others) are 'damaged goods' because of what might be a lack of relationship experience or time spent in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships, this dents our confiden...

Ep. 156: "I didn't want to pass up an opportunity." from 2019-10-18T00:00

What's the similarity between engaging with an ex who didn't treat us very well, feeling burnt out and resentful after taking on extra work, and deliberating about or regretting something that w...

Ep. 155: Evolving Our Relationship With Our Feelings from 2019-10-11T00:00

Do you hoard, clamp, shoot, get chatty, deny/mask or cry when you need to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Natalie follows up on the previous episode about why we don’t talk about our feelings ...

Ep. 154: Why Don't We Express Our Feelings? from 2019-10-04T00:00

Expressing our feelings, not just to others, but also to ourselves, is crucial to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing as well as to the health and wealth of our interpersonal...

Ep. 153: Are They Being Unfair and Unreasonable? from 2019-09-27T00:00

When people ask or expect you to do something, or you're wondering whether there's a boundary issue, do you question whether you are being fair and reasonable in wanting or needing to say/show n...

Ep. 152: Playing Matchmaker, Being Set Up,&Recommendations from 2019-09-20T00:00

If you've ever played matchmaker and had it backfire, or you've felt confused after being set up or recommending somebody, today's episode is for you. Natalie delves into some of the assumptions...

Ep. 151: Why Don't They Like Me???? from 2019-09-13T00:00

How do you feel when you realise or sense that someone doesn't like you? If intrusive thoughts about this have popped up more than you would like and even kept you awake at night, you are far fr...

Summer Interlude from 2019-08-02T00:00

Natalie does a quick catch-up before going on her summer break until September. 

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Ep. 150: Are You Afraid of Listening To Yourself? from 2019-07-26T00:00

If you hardly knew somebody and something felt off, would you dismiss what you were sensing, seeing or hearing, or would you pay attention? Well, if like so many of us do, you ignored you, you'r...

Ep. 149: There's No Shame In Having Needs from 2019-07-19T00:00

So many people experience shame around having needs, which is like being ashamed of breathing! Natalie delves into emotional needs and the importance of being our primary caregiver. 

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Ep. 148: I'm Not Taking Your Put-Down Lying Down! from 2019-07-12T00:00

Ever had somebody say something to you that *seems* like it’s supposed to be taken as a compliment, but it’s totally not? Or, have you been in a situation where someone’s making sly digs under t...

Ep. 147: On Fear of Being Alone from 2019-07-05T00:00

Many of us have some level of fear of being alone, and when this drives us, it leads to some pretty painful and dubious choices. Is being with ourselves really that bad? Natalie delves into alon...

Ep. 146: Are You On a Slip 'n Slide With Your Boundaries? from 2019-06-28T00:00

When things don't go according to plan and we feel baffled by someone's behaviour or the outcome, retracing our steps will inevitably reveal the slippery slope that we were on with our boundarie...

Ep. 145: Stage 0-1 of Relationships&The Recruiter Mindset from 2019-06-21T00:00

There are 5 stages of relationships, and stages 0-1 set the foundation for what lies ahead (or doesn't). Natalie talks about the parallels between dating and job searches and how adopting a recr...

Ep. 144: Are Your Desires (&Pressure) Programming Or Preference? from 2019-06-14T00:00

Natalie explores why so many of us don't realise that the pressure we feel to be or do certain things isn't always about what we actually want. Often it's about what we think we're supposed to w...

Ep. 143: It's Time To Update Your Self-Image from 2019-06-07T00:00

When Natalie had to train for the 2018 London Marathon in less than four months, it didn't take long before she realised that she was employing lessons she'd learned from doing No Contact and he...

Ep. 142: Why Can't I Get Them To Commit? from 2019-05-31T00:00

How good do you feel about yourself and a relationship if it feels like you had to campaign or even hound your partner into committing? Yeah... exactly. Natalie talks about commitment-resistance...

Ep. 141: The Overempathy Trap from 2019-05-24T00:00

Do you know the difference between empathy and overempathy? Well, if you feel as if you've been burned by rescuing or helping, or you've stayed in situations long past their sell-by-date, it's t...

Ep. 140: What's With All The Lies? from 2019-05-17T00:00

Have someone's lies baffled you because you thought that it was so ridiculous or unnecessary or that it was undeserved given how much effort you've put in? Has discovering a white lie caused you...

Ep. 139: The Baggage Behind Your Break-Up Habits from 2019-05-10T00:00

Do you know where you learned your break-up habits? It's safe to say that it wasn't on the curriculum at school. Old memories and associations, especially ones we may have long forgotten, along ...

Ep. 138: Why Are Some People So Averse To Respecting Other People's Boundaries? from 2019-05-03T00:00

For many of us, the idea of willfully crossing somebody's boundaries sends a shiver through us. In fact, we'll often cross our own boundaries to accommodate those of others! But some people just...

Ep. 137: The Lean Period from 2019-04-26T00:00

A key factor in people feeling stuck in a painful situation or stuck obsessing about what went down is an extended period prior to the events of being starved of, for example, attention, affecti...

Ep. 136: All Is Forgiven? from 2019-04-19T00:00

Many of us find it difficult to let go of past situations whether it's about our actions or those of others. It's not that we don't want to per se, but our confusing relationship with forgivenes...

Ep. 135: In The Beginning... There Were Blind Spots from 2019-04-12T00:00

Natalie talks about blind spots and why we’ve got to stop clinging to assumptions about what a relationship-worthy person looks like (hint: it’s more than “charming, good-looking, smart”) or the...

Ep. 134: Did you just shut down my boundary? from 2019-04-05T00:00

Ever felt as if you did wrong by asserting a boundary because the other party didn't respond positively or you didn't get what you wanted? Well, having healthy boundaries isn't the problem, and ...

Ep. 133: The Growth of Grief from 2019-03-29T00:00

It's been two years since Natalie's father passed away. In this week's episode, she talks about how grief, something that we go through when we experience any form of loss, not just bereavement,...

Ep. 132: Fear of Sacrifice, Loss&Being Trapped from 2019-03-22T00:00

So many people who have a frustrating pattern are unaware that they’re driven by negative and contradictory associations with love, relationships, success and being more of who they really are. ...

Ep. 131: The Trouble With 'Well-Meaning' Bad Advice from 2019-03-15T00:00

Did you know that three days before Natalie met Em, she broke it off with a guy that she’d been dating for three weeks? She would have finished it sooner had she not doubted herself and listened...

Ep. 130: Dating Anxiety from 2019-03-08T00:00

A challenge that often presents itself while dating is the struggle to stay hopeful and grounded while pursuing our need or desire for a relationship. Natalie talks about the key sources of anxi...

Ep. 129: Things That Make You Go Hmmm from 2019-03-01T00:00

Does someone really need to do the equivalent of giving us a one-star review by going out of their way to make us aware of their dislike of us? Do we need to let our ex know that we’re “over” th...

Ep. 128: I Want To Break Free from 2019-02-22T00:00

Are you feeling typecast by your experiences and pattern? A role is a job or function that we take on within our interpersonal relationships in order to ‘be good’ and ‘help out’… even if what we...

Ep. 127: Bark Like A Dog? from 2019-02-15T00:00

When you go on dates or are in a relationship, who is it that shows up? Is it you, the whole you and nothing but you? Or, is it your representative, the persona you send out that’s a glossier or...

Ep. 126: I 'Failed', And I'm OK from 2019-02-08T00:00

What do you do when you feel as if you’ve failed at something? Shame you? Shrink into yourself and isolate? Pick you apart in an attempt to figure out what’s wrong with you? Turn your failure in...

Ep. 125: Tidying Up Emotional Baggage from 2019-02-01T00:00

Natalie explores our reluctance to so much as tidy our emotional baggage and shares a quick exercise that highlights where we can make space for more of the things we want to be, do and have.  Listen

Ep. 124: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nope, it's emotional unavailability! from 2019-01-25T00:00

Is it something you said? Is it something you did? Is it because you weren't patient/perfect/sexy/whatever enough? Nope! They're unavailable. In this week's episode, Natalie delves into the ten ...

Ep. 123: The 5 Stages of Relationships from 2019-01-18T00:00

In this week's episode, Natalie explains the 5 stages of relationships and how you can use these to recognise whether you are experiencing the intimacy you need in order to take the relationship...

Ep. 122: Crumbs, Whether It's From The Shady or The 'Nice', Are Crumbs from 2019-01-12T00:00

Following on from last week’s episode about try-ing, Natalie explains why you deserve to feel secure while dating or in a relationship, and why you don’t have to burn up your energies trying to ...

Ep. 121: The Release&Relief of Giving Up On Try-ing from 2019-01-05T00:00

I just try so hard. I just keep trying. No matter what I do… No matter what I try… Sound familiar? In the first episode of 2019, Natalie shares a recent experience that flagged up to her that we...

Ep. 120: Dear Friend, Why The Distance? from 2018-12-14T00:00

In another episode from the friendship series, Natalie tackles the painful subject of when a friend distances or cuts off. 

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Ep. 119: Happy Christmas, Ex! And By The Way... from 2018-12-07T00:00

It's that time of the year when there can be a temptation to text/Facebook message/call/gift your ex or someone you fell out with. In this episode, Natalie explains why reaching out has the pote...

Ep. 118: Will The Real You Please Stand Up? from 2018-11-30T00:00

People often get in touch with Natalie feeling as if they've been rejected for being the real them, but a bit of digging often reveals that they were pretending to be something they're not. This...

Ep. 117: Love Languages? from 2018-11-23T00:00

Natalie revisits the topic of needs, delving into why we all give and feel love differently and so we can't assume that people will know what we need or that they'll be "just like us". She also ...

Ep. 116: Conflict Doesn't Have To Spell The End of a Friendship from 2018-11-16T00:00

How confident do you feel about raising an issue with a friend? If you avoid talking about what’s on your mind for fear that the friendship will end or you do speak up, but feel as if it always ...

Ep. 115: We Don't Have To Crush Our Self-Esteem This Season from 2018-11-09T00:00

Starting to feel a niggling anxiety about family, your social life, how much money you have to spend or whether you’re a “success”? It’s that time of year where thanks to a succession of celebra...

Ep. 113: Let Me Stop You Right There from 2018-10-26T00:00

Ever found yourself feeling trapped in a conversation or drama that you don't want to be a part of? Turns out, you don't have to hold yourself hostage to it. Yes, even with family! Natalie share...

Ep. 112: The Trouble With Emotional Blackmail from 2018-10-19T00:00

In this episode, Natalie delves into the tricky topic of emotional blackmail. What is it, which of our feelings alert us to its presence, how it manifests, and how to recognise it so that we can...

Ep. 111: You Matter Too from 2018-10-12T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about getting on board with the need for self-care so that we can protect and nurture our emotional and psychological well-being. 

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Ep. 110: Jealousy&Envy in Friendships from 2018-10-05T00:00

Natalie delves into the topic of jealousy and envy in friendships, including recognising the difference, some of the reasons why they show up, why they're not 'bad' emotions, and what we can do ...

Ep. 109: The Four Qualities from 2018-09-28T00:00

In this episode, Natalie explains how if we desire a mutually fulfilling relationship where our emotional needs can and will be met, we need to be, recognise and seek out four qualities. 

Ep. 108: A Friend Should..... from 2018-09-21T00:00

In the second in a series of episodes this autumn on friendship, Natalie explores how and why some of the expectations we have lead to pain. It turns out, we often expect a friend to be, say or ...

Ep. 107: Getting Grounded About Intuition and Anxiety from 2018-09-14T00:00

In this week's episode, Natalie talks anxiety and intuition, and why we're bound to feel anxious in any situations where we've routinely ignored our intuition and pretended to be something we're...

Ep. 106: Friendship Means Different Things To Different People from 2018-09-07T00:00

They say our friends are the family we'd choose for ourselves, but so many people who struggle with friendship tolerate unsatisfying relationships the way they suffer through family they can't e...

Ep. 105: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word from 2018-08-31T00:00

In this episode, Natalie explores why so many people experience pain over receiving (or not receiving) an apology. From feeling unworthy due to how someone has responded to their wrongdoing, to ...

Ep 104: Did We (Or They) Meet The Threshold For Pursuing Romantic Interest? from 2018-08-24T00:00

Chatted with somebody online or been on a first date that seemed so promising, only to experience crickets or hear that they don't feel the same way? Natalie explains why we find these situation...

Ep. 103: Trial&Error, Baby! from 2018-08-17T00:00

Ever kicked yourself for missing out on something, convinced that it was the perfect person/job/house/opportunity only to discover later that you dodged a bullet? Recently, Natalie found out tha...

Ep. 102: On Feeling Like A 'Failure' (Why Are You Still Single? Why Aren't You More Successful?) from 2018-08-10T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about confronting her fear of failure, fear of success. 

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Ep. 101: Help, Support, or Fuzzy Boundaries? from 2018-08-03T00:00

This week, Natalie explores the tricky subject of distinguishing between help and support so that we can maintain the healthy boundaries we need to enjoy mutually fulfilling relationships and ta...

Ep.100: Are You Exceeding Your Bandwidth? (You're Not The Energizer Bunny) from 2018-07-27T00:00

In this week's episode, Natalie explains the concept of recognising your bandwidth so that you can take care of your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. 

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Reconnecting from 2018-07-20T00:00

Natalie is back with The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. What do you do when you have a grand plan? Discover that life might have other ideas in store for you. In this episode, Natalie gives the cliff...

Ep.99: Listening To Yourself&Knowing When To Call It from 2017-10-13T00:00

In this final episode, Natalie talks about big decisions, why we get stuck, and why we can't see what lies up ahead but we've still got to take the leap anyway. She also shares why she's decided...

Ep. 98: Speaking Out About Speaking Out from 2017-10-06T00:00

Warning: This episode includes references to incidences that some listeners may prefer not to hear about or they may find triggering if they’ve experienced it themselves. In this episode, Natali...

Ep. 97: Focus On You, F-F-Focus On You from 2017-09-29T00:00

In this week's episode, Natalie talks about why focusing is about being discerning and committing, and why we allow ourselves to get busied up in all manner of distractions because we are afraid...

Ep. 96: Is It Time To Go On a Social Media Diet? from 2017-09-22T00:00

In this week's episode, Natalie shares what she's learned from ten months of being on a social media diet. What started off as temporarily deleting Facebook from her phone so that she could fini...

Ep. 95: Can We Talk For A Minute? Ambiguity's Not My Thang from 2017-09-08T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about what ambiguity is, the types of situation that can result, and how we can use our participation in an ambiguous situation to get more clear about ourselves a...

Ep. 94: We Are Allowed To Grow (Yes We Are!) from 2017-09-01T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about how despite exceeding our own or other people's expectations for us, it's as if we don't dare to believe it, instead grappling with Imposter Syndrome and wai...

Ep. 93: Am I Lying To Myself? from 2017-08-25T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about how to recognise when we're not exactly being truthful with ourselves, what causes us to do things like denying, rationalising, minimising, excusing and just...

Ep. 92: You're Not My Usual Type (But You Could Be With Some Changes) from 2017-08-18T00:00

In this episode, Natalie shares a story about a relatively new relationship to illustrate why we mustn't ignore code amber/red warnings. 

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Ep. 91: Who's In Your Entourage? from 2017-08-11T00:00

In this episode, Natalie delves into the topic of trust and being discerning about who we let into our Circle of Trust. 

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Ep. 90: Pretending To Be Something We're Not from 2017-08-04T00:00

In this episode, Natalie delves deeper into this season's topic of 'closing the gap' by explaining roles, including why we adopt them, how they play out within families, and in turn how they kee...

Ep. 89: I Am 40 from 2017-07-28T00:00

In this episode, Natalie reflects on why she’s felt a little wobbly about turning 40 and why she’s approaching life with an attitude of adventure.

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Ep. 88: You’re Not The Boss of Me! from 2017-07-21T00:00

In this week's episode, Natalie talks about how we can inadvertently find ourselves turning people and things such as romantic partners, co-workers, bosses, friends, money, our job or business, ...

Ep. 86: I Can't Believe That You Don't Want Me from 2017-07-07T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about rejection, namely five scenarios where we have this sense of indignation that someone is saying no to us and what we want. 

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Ep. 85: Some Crumbs Isn't Better Than No Crumbs from 2017-06-30T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about how a pattern of neglect causes us to settle for far less than what we need, desire and deserve. 

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Ep. 84: Am I Interested In You? from 2017-06-23T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why we sometimes struggle to recognise that we're interested in somebody because we're primed to feel attracted in the way that we have before, even though i...

Ep. 83: They Just Want Attention, They Don't Want Your Heart from 2017-06-16T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about the difference between someone who just wants to know that they can get your attention versus someone who wants to love you and be loved by you. 

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Ep. 82: Thick Skin&An Elastic Heart from 2017-06-09T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about what to expect from season 3 of the podcast and touches on some of the core Baggage Reclaim philosophies. 

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Ep. 81: Saying Hello from 2017-05-19T00:00

After six weeks of taking time to grieve, Natalie gives an update on where she's at and what's been going on. 

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Ep. 80: Saying Goodbye from 2017-04-07T00:00

In this episode, Natalie gives some insight into where she's at after losing her father. 

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Ep. 79: Too Bloody Nice For Our Own Good? from 2017-03-24T00:00

In this episode, Natalie asks whether we really need space in the form of a casual relationship or something else altogether, draws the line on being too nice for our own bloody good, and talks ...

Ep. 78: The Power of Books In Our Emotional Journey from 2017-03-10T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why books can be an important part of our emotional journey, explains some of the reasons why we don't seem to recognise that we're maxed out with stress, an...

Ep. 77: Get Me Out of The Friend Zone! from 2017-02-24T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why we get put in the Friend Zone and how to dodge it, plus explains why some people don’t do apologies, and why breaking up with someone also means breaking...

Ep. 76: Stop Over-Apologising! from 2017-02-17T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why we can be fearful of allowing ourselves to be ‘too happy’, the over-apologising, and shares a couple of questions we can ask ourselves about whether love...

Ep. 75: The Common Denominator from 2017-02-10T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about #relationshipgoals, what it means when we acknowledge that we're the common denominator, and why whether we want to be in a relationship or not, we must choo...

Ep. 74: What Would Future Nat Do? from 2017-02-03T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about the importance of considering how your future self would respond to a situation that you're in right now, plus talks about how to have better boundaries with...

Ep. 73: We've Come A Long Way, Baby from 2017-01-27T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about the importance of acknowledging your progress by acknowledging personal anniversaries of big decisions, 3 key areas where you can make big strides in changin...

Ep. 72: Go Hug Yourself from 2017-01-20T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks through ten key reasons that more than justify breaking up, shares how she navigated her way out of negative feelings, and why it's important to hug yourself. This...

Ep. 71: The Self-Care Sandwich from 2017-01-13T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about what we can learn from our stuckness with our career, shares questions and ideas to help you get your self-care routine up and running, and talks about her i...

Ep. 70: What I Learned In 2016 from 2017-01-06T00:00

In this episode, Natalie shares the key lessons she learned in 2016, sharing stories and anecdotes on subjects including how she had her first drama-free Christmas and New Year for the first tim...

Ep. 69: We All Bounce Back At Different Rates from 2016-12-23T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about what interdependence means, the factors that affect our bounce-back rate, and how family’s attitude towards ‘borrowing’ money is a lesson about remembering t...

Ep. 68: WDWBU #12 Dungeons&Dragons from 2016-12-20T00:00

Abbie thought that her heart was healing when a few months after her devastating breakup, a guy at work was devoting himself to her and telling anyone who would listen that she was 'The One'. On...

Ep. 67: It Was All A Dream from 2016-12-16T00:00

This week, Natalie talks about why romance isn’t the same as intimacy, why we don’t have to get stressed over our uncomfortable dreams, and shares tips for avoiding being catfished. This week’s ...

Ep. 66: WDWBU #11 Where's My Boyfriend? from 2016-12-13T00:00

Taylor and Greg’s 18-month relationship ended when she boiled over with resentment about his lack of effort and his unwillingness to address anything while at the same time insisting that he did...

Ep. 65: More Ideas Than Time (&That's OK) from 2016-12-09T00:00

This week, Natalie talks about what to do about having more ideas than time, shares tips to ensure that you don't get drawn into the same drama with a family member, and explains why having too ...

Ep. 64: Stop, Start, Continue from 2016-12-02T00:00

Natalie talks about the benefits of a social media diet, how to use a Stop, Start, Continue to inspire change when we’re self-critical, and why we don’t need to turn simple decisions into life d...

Ep. 63: WDWBU #10-The Special from 2016-11-29T17:31:04

When Tim told Stéphane during their first deep conversation that he has a condition that causes him to disassociate from his feelings and yet he kept feeling compelled to be around her and act d...

Ep. 62: Diff'rent Strokes from 2016-11-25T00:00

Natalie talks about why we’ve got to stop making snap judgements about who’s ‘nice’, how to respond to loved ones whose opinions differ from ours from a place of love, care trust and respect, an...

Ep. 61: WDWBU #9--Behind Closed Doors from 2016-11-22T00:00

In this 'Why Did We Break Up?' episode, Joanne is still wounded after her brief involvement with her longtime crush ended after they slept together. She thinks that it was her having the STD tha...

Ep. 60: Sleeping In My Bed Messing With My Head from 2016-11-18T00:00

Natalie talks about why we need to stop criticising ourselves for not being more self-disciplined in areas where we’ve had to give up something or make a big change, plus she talks about some of...

Ep. 59: WDWBU #8--A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss from 2016-11-15T00:00

In this 'Why Did We Break Up?' episode, Zoe was devastated after her partner of six years went to visit family for a few weeks, cut contact and secretly started a relationship with an old girlfr...

Ep. 58: It's Not Right, But It's OK from 2016-11-11T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why so many people feel so triggered during these fraught times, shares tips for calming anxiety about family arrangements during the holiday season, and exp...

Ep. 57: WDWBU #7 Save You, Save Me from 2016-11-08T00:00

Why Did We Break Up? is back! In this episode, Hannah felt guilty about having fallen for her engaged co-worker and living a lie, so she broke it off with her boyfriend of four years. Her co-wor...

Ep. 56: Read My Mind from 2016-11-04T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why expecting people to be mind readers is damaging to our self-esteem and our relationships, why people being shady or not meeting our expectations is not a...

Ep. 55: Are You Ignoring Me? from 2016-10-28T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about the things that we need to consider if we're going to sext with a stranger, plus she talks about the importance of distinguishing between the experiencing an...

Ep. 54: We Were On A Break! from 2016-10-14T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about the things we need to consider when we opt to take a break from our relationship, what intimacy is and five key habits that are a block to it, and how we avo...

Ep. 53: Stay In Your Own Lane from 2016-10-07T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about preferences versus programming, why driving is a metaphor for life and the importance of noticing what's going on around you so that you can broaden your per...

Ep. 52: Moving In Or Sussing Out Whether To Commit? from 2016-09-30T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about being motivated to move in with a partner for financial or practical reasons or because you're trialling out whether you want to commit to that person. Plus,...

Ep. 51: Why Did We Break Up? #6 - The Lessons from 2016-09-27T00:00

The original episode that went live on 27/09/16 has been replaced. In this episode of Why Did We Break Up? Natalie shares some universal lessons that apply to all breakups. 

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Ep. 50: She Works Hard For The Money! from 2016-09-23T00:00

In this episode, Natalie shares tips for ensuring that you don’t undervalue you when it comes to salary or charging the right rate/price with clients, knowing when to fold, and means ‘mean’ goal...

Ep. 49: Why Did We Break Up? #5 - Let Me In from 2016-09-20T00:00

In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Sandy and Rick got off to a flying start after being introduced via a mutual friend. They saw each other a few times a week, seemed to thoroughly e...

Ep. 48: Why Him/Her&Not Me? from 2016-09-16T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about how to start building your self-esteem, why you shouldn’t get too hung up on your ex moving on before you or with someone you think is ‘better’, and why ther...

Ep. 47: Why Did We Break Up? #4 - Love's Young Dream from 2016-09-13T00:00

In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Molly and Steven met in their late teens at the start of their careers and 14 years, 2 kids, marriage and a business that they had to declare bankr...

Ep. 46: Let's Be Friends from 2016-09-09T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about finding making new friends daunting and shares tips for being more open to it, plus she shares 10 questions for discerning whether your partner is emotionall...

Ep. 45: Why Did We Break Up? #3 - The Affair from 2016-09-06T00:00

In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Katie is still reeling after ending a 21-month affair with a married man who doesn’t seem to grasp why him not leaving his wife is a deal-breaker. ...

Ep. 44: Silly Me! from 2016-09-02T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about the unnecessary apologising and backtracking habit, how getting your stuff in order can help you to clear out mentally and emotionally, and the importance of...

Ep. 43: Why Did We Break Up? #2 - Don't You Want Me from 2016-08-30T00:00

It's the year 2000 and Steve and Danielle meet via mutual friends at a club in London. She's fresh out of a relationship with someone she calls "cold" and "emotionally abusive" and he feels as i...

Ep. 42: You're On The Same Team from 2016-08-26T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about going on holiday/vacation on your own and shares stories and tips from her own adventure. Plus, she shares ten tips for conflict resolution when you’re in a ...

Ep.41: Why Did We Break Up? from 2016-08-19T00:00

In this special edition of the show, which also marks the one-year anniversary, Natalie introduces the new offshoot, Why Did We Break Up?, where she explores one breakup in depth and answers the...

Ep. 40: Going With No Flow? from 2016-08-12T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about why a relationship needs to have purpose and direction if you want it to grow (or for you to feel happy), how to deal with narcissistic co-workers, family an...

Ep. 39: Make It Fly? from 2016-08-05T00:00

In this episode, Natalie talks about resistance to taking time off and fear of using holiday allowance, trying to make every relationship fly by being in love or seeing a future with every date ...

Ep. 38: Don't Be So Hard On Yourself from 2016-07-29T00:00

Natalie shares some of the themes of her 38th year, talks about why being self-critical creates a vicious cycle where you end up being around people that validate and increase negative feelings,...

Ep. 37: Are You Feeling This? from 2016-07-22T00:00

This week, Natalie explains why being too passive can send the wrong message in a relationship, shares 5 questions to help you figure out your values, and talks about why passive-aggressive gift...

Ep. 36: I Know When My Whatsapp Bling, That Can Only Mean One Thing from 2016-07-15T00:00

This week, Natalie explains why decluttering exes and dates from your phone makes good relationship and emotional business, talks about the problem with family secrets, and revisits "You com...