Peace with BEing - a podcast by David K Payne

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 
― Marilyn Monroe

One of the most significant challenges I have faced as a person, and especially as an adult is learning to be at peace with people being disappointed with me. I have encountered this reality various times in my life, but events in the last few years have laid me open to critique by others and voiced opinions about my life. For the person living an authentic life, you must learn to be ok with people not being ok with who you are. Tragically many who appear close and caring for you and your life will walk away if they become disappointed with your actions or words, and when who you are, clashes with their ideal of who you should be.

The truth is no one ever fully knows another person, and most of the times even our good opinions of each other are based on best guesses or on the expressed views of others about one another. If you settle this truth, you can begin to set yourself free from the pressure to pretend or playact to them to gain peoples approval. Too much of our lives are spent trying to obtain, keep or adjust the opinions of others about us and this work drives us to pretend to be, and to proclaim things we have never believed, or don’t believe anymore. This compels us to pretend to BE and hide our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and failures. This dilemma is tragic but is motivated by our fear that the ones who could support us, pray for us and help us recover when wounded are the ones who many times first to walk away. The distortion occurs because we are trying to follow and or impress people who are not authentic themselves because they are following and trying to impress others at the same time. Where is the authenticity in this approach to living? Jesus refers to distorted religious teachers by saying they are blind leaders of the blind, causing both to fall into the proverbial ditch.

There are two main issue here. First is the natural growth that should occur in our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Secondly, are the times seasons of struggle and failure that occur in everyone’s life. We should always make allowances for others to change, struggle and fail just as we want others to make allowances for us. But the point of this blog is to shine a light on the tendencies within humanity to not operate this way and to encourage growth and change anyway. If you are tired of having to pretend to be what you know you are not. If you are tired of straining to gain the approval of others in spite of the change in your path of life. If you are always frustrated at the lack of peace, joy and contentment that is the result of complying with the norms of those you are following. Let me encourage you to forsake that way of life and follow the leading of the peace of God in your lives and be at peace when you are rejected by those you have striven so hard to please.

I also want to speak encouragement to you regarding your seasons of struggle and failure. If those who claim to be your friends reject you in these times, don’t associate them with God, because God will never deny you, and if people don't support you when you fail, they are not worthy to walk with you in your success. If a person can’t continue a relationship with you even if they disagree with you, don’t compromise yourself to pretend to be to gain their acceptance. The problem is in them, not you so don’t hold your head down and stop living… Just BE.

As I stated in an earlier blog, when you live your life on your terms as you understand Gods will for your life to be, “You may not win the praise of others, and those you have spent your life trying to empress may not even speak to you, but you will rise each day with peace in your heart, joy in your life and confidence in your spirit that will allow you to face any obstacle.”

 Just Be

David

Further episodes of "the DKP Word"

Further podcasts by David K Payne

Website of David K Payne