Ep. 12: Lost In Translation - a podcast by Dilek Yucel & Alex Kain

Dr Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages in 1995. Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands.

An example would be if a man does something he doesn't normally do such as when he does the laundry for his wife and she doesn't perceive that as an act of love, viewing it as simply performing household duties, because the love language she comprehends is words of affirmation (verbal affirmation that he loves her).

The 5 love languages are:

l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for

taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The

flies were going to carry it out for you.”

2. Receiving Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your partner that you know they would

like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your partner your undivided attention.

Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and

listening.

5. Physical touch-holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all

expressions of love.

Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more

deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking

it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a relationship.