Podcasts by The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
A Podcast About Movies About Toys
Further podcasts by Molly Alice Hoy & Ben Paddon
Podcast on the topic TV und Film
All episodes
#50–Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016)–King Broccoli from 2019-08-20T12:00:27
In their farewell episode, Ben and Molly adopt a scorched earth policy by mentally and emotionally self-immolating with the aid of Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016). Ben finally comes into his la...
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#49–Street Fighter (1994)–Eyes on the Priapsim from 2019-07-23T22:56:24
In this vocabulary-building penultimate episode, Ben and Molly metaphorically punch, kick, and bodyslam their way through Street Fighter (1994). Ben reveals a longtime erotic fantasy. Molly fondly ...
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#48–Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003)–Alice in Raiderland from 2019-06-25T13:57:14
Ben and Molly’s continual failure to learn from their mistakes results in a regrettable viewing of Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003). Ben laments an estranged familial relationship....
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#47–G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)–Dwayno from 2019-06-13T00:57:59
Ben and Molly spend the better part of an hour fumbling and subsequently failing to make heads or tails of G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013). Ben experiments with a bold new podcast format. Molly finall...
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#46–Super Mario Brothers: Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986)–Testicle Maracas from 2019-05-28T12:00:21
Ben and Molly are mostly successful at avoiding traumatic Episode 3 flashbacks as they take their second jaunt through the Mario universe with Super Mario Brothers: Great Mission to Rescue Princess...
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#45–Barbie as the Island Princess (2007)–Nik, Are You Gay? from 2019-05-21T12:00:20
Ben and Molly take a magical, musical tour of nontraditional relationships in the polyamory-positive Barbie as the Island Princess (2007). Ben stays up past his bedtime. Molly explains where babies...
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#44–My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)–Sucked Into the Pony Hole from 2019-04-30T12:00:14
Ben and Molly return to their kinky comfort zone to watch the feature-length BDSM scene that is My Little Pony: The Movie (2017). Ben celebrates an especially holy birthday. Molly works through som...
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#43–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III–Yum Yum Turtle Milk from 2019-04-16T12:00:32
Ben and Molly long for the power to travel back in time and save themselves from the hormonal horrors of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993). Ben delivers a sexual manifesto for the ages. Molly...
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#42–Clue (1985)–A Who’s Who of Muppet Media from 2019-04-02T12:00:58
Ben and Molly take an inordinate amount of pleasure in watching some of their favorite actors kill and be killed in the cult comedy and toyetic masterpiece Clue (1985). Ben recalls his childhood ca...
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#41–Samantha: An American Girl Holiday (2004)–The Irish Cougher from 2019-03-19T12:00:09
In this special birthday episode, Molly grants Ben honorary status as both an American and a girl so that he might fully appreciate Samantha: An American Girl Holiday (2004). Ben gets a hankering f...
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#40–Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus (2005)–A Measure of Bees from 2019-03-12T12:00:10
Ben and Molly don their 3-D glasses and step into the low-poly world of the extremely cursed Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus (2005). Ben struggles with an embarrassing plosive problem. Molly finall...
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#39–The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)–Fifteen Little Goblins from 2019-02-19T12:00:31
In this infectious episode, Ben and Molly take a field trip to an actual movie theatre to watch The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019). Ben finds a new hobby in hands-free bowling. Molly does wel...
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#38–Wreck-It Ralph (2012)–Kink Andy’s Sex Fungeon from 2019-02-05T12:00:33
After suffering through a string of terrible films, Ben and Molly indulge in some cinematic comfort food with Wreck-It Ralph (2012). Ben has a productive therapy session. Molly learns the unsettlin...
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#37–G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)–Gastrointestinal Joseph from 2019-01-22T12:00:31
Ben and Molly go looking for a fun action adventure in GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), but instead spend several hours haplessly flailing in a cesspool of toxic masculinity. Ben struggles to proc...
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A Schedule Change from 2019-01-15T12:00:52
We’re temporarily shifting the podcast to a biweekly/fortnightly schedule for the time being. This is so we can accommodate other projects and commitments we have. We don’t plan for the change to b...
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#36–Bratz (2007)–Free to Cleek from 2019-01-08T12:00:45
Despite their best efforts, Ben and Molly barely manage to skim the surface of the fathomless cinematic abomination Bratz (2007). Ben yearns for a simpler time when he could wake up from his nightm...
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#35–Barbie in‘A Christmas Carol’(2008)–Conically Gay from 2018-12-25T12:00:23
Ben and Molly call in a Christmas miracle in order to stay awake through Barbie in ‘A Christmas Carol’ (2008). Ben dreams of penning the next Barbie movie script. Molly seizes on a lucrative mercha...
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#34–Home Alone 2: Lost in New York–Pour One Out For Gumbo from 2018-12-18T12:00:56
Ben and Molly dig too deep into Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) and inadvertently unearth a dark secret about the McAllister family. Ben hardens his heart in order to withstand graphic depict...
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#33–He-Man&She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)–Monstrous Hemorrhoids from 2018-12-11T12:00:41
Ben and Molly need some cream after straining through He-Man&She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985). Ben considers taking the show in an exciting new direction. Molly grapples with the ethics of conver...
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#32–Power Rangers (2017)–Bryan Cranston’s Beautiful Blue Body from 2018-12-04T12:00:07
Tensions run high as viewing of the feature-length Krispy Kreme commercial Power Rangers (2017) launches Ben and Molly into a bitter debate regarding Bryan Cranston’s naked body. Ben pitches his id...
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#31–Spice World (1997)–Ennui Spice from 2018-11-27T12:00:49
Ben and Molly find themselves inexplicably watching Spice World (1997) and, still more inexplicably, enjoying it. Ben proudly flaunts his encyclopedic Spice Girls knowledge. Molly meets her second ...
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#30–Barbie: Fairytopia (2005)–A Perpetual State of Scat Fury from 2018-11-20T12:00:19
Ben and Molly take a 70-minute nap while the inconsequential Barbie: Fairytopia (2005) happens to be playing in the background. Ben accidentally leaks the plot of Avengers 4. Molly makes an ambitio...
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#29–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)–Also Pringles from 2018-11-13T12:00:32
Ben and Molly return once more to the familiar sewers of New York, where Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze (1991) locks them in a horny, reptilian embrace. Ben finds his new calli...
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#28–Action Man: Robot Atak (2004)–The Truckdel Test from 2018-11-06T11:00:32
Ben and Molly learn firsthand the danger of YouTube rabbit trails by haplessly stumbling into a viewing of Action Man: Robot Atak (2004). Ben discovers a beloved toy company’s tragic backstory. Mol...
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#27–Monster High: New Ghoul at School (2010) / Monster High: Fright On! (2011)–A Downed Power Line from 2018-10-30T21:13:57
In this spooktacular Halloween double feature, Ben and Molly watch Monster High: New Ghoul at School (2010) and Monster High: Fright On! (2011) expecting some good-natured scares, and are instead c...
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#26–The Lego Batman Movie (2017)–My Feet Are Attached to Your Head from 2018-10-16T13:00:52
Are they or aren’t they? Ben and Molly examine the crackling sexual tension between Batman and Joker in The Lego Batman Movie (2017). Ben waxes poetic about his orgy preferences. Molly considers a ...
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#25–Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (2004)–Just Gals Being Pals from 2018-10-09T13:00:56
In this special musical episode, Ben and Molly watch the comparatively chaste Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (2004), and against all odds still manage to kink it up. Ben integrates some hair...
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#24–Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965)–Doctor Reginald VelJohnson Who from 2018-10-02T13:00:16
Ben takes Molly on a whirlwind tour of his favorite sci-fi property by subjecting her to Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965), a film which does a questionable job of capitalizing on the Dalekmania of the...
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#23–Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)–Two Heads, Four Breasts, Can’t Lose from 2018-09-25T13:00:29
Ben and Molly stew in disappointment after failing to be titillated by Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001). Ben discovers an ugly truth that threatens to derail his comedy career. Molly fondly recalls h...
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#22–Jem and the Holograms (2015)–I Just Saw a Robot Jizz Out My Father from 2018-09-18T13:00:49
Ben and Molly put their ignorance of the beloved ’80s property on full display as they traverse the unexpected kink minefield that is Jem and the Holograms (2015). Ben presents a textbook case of S...
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#21–Batman&Robin (1997)–Chekhov’s Buns from 2018-09-13T23:06:58
Ben and Molly can barely handle the sheer volume of awakenings brought on by the questionably toyetic yet unquestionably sexy Batman&Robin (1997). Ben hosts a star-studded potluck dinner. Molly dis...
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#20–Barbie of Swan Lake (2003)–Frasier Zero from 2018-08-22T16:55:11
Is there trouble in paradise? Ben and Molly clumsily grope for common ground after a viewing of Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) leaves them at odds. Ben reaches his kink breaking point. Molly strives to...
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#19–Battleship (2012)–The’50 First Dates’Extended Cinematic Universe from 2018-08-15T18:31:04
Ben and Molly weep, wail, and gnash their teeth through the massive mistake of a film that is Battleship (2012). Ben bemoans a dearth of on-screen breasts. Molly is forced to confront all of her de...
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#18–Furby Island (2005)–A Wretched Grim Matryoshka of Despair from 2018-08-08T17:49:22
Things take a dark turn after a viewing of Furby Island (2005) brings Ben and Molly face to face with their own mortality. Ben grievously insults the entire Australian continent. Molly’s worldview ...
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#17–Pokémon: The Movie 2000 (1999)–The Birds and the Balls from 2018-07-24T13:00:04
Molly’s wife Timber fills in for a truant Ben to participate in a marriage-testing viewing of the benign but bland Pokémon: The Movie 2000 (1999). Molly recalls a harrowing lube experience. Timber ...
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#16–Dungeons&Dragons (2000)–Too Many McGuffins from 2018-07-18T17:33:57
Ben and Molly fail their wisdom saving throws against Dungeons&Dragons (2000) and are confused for the duration. Ben makes yet another unsuccessful attempt to sell Molly on Doctor Who. Molly embar...
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#15–Barbie as Rapunzel (2002)–God Bless Robert McKee from 2018-07-03T19:00:44
Like an angel of mercy, Robert McKee swoops down to bless Ben and Molly with the surprisingly enjoyable Barbie as Rapunzel (2002). Ben betrays a suspicious amount of familiarity with Sonic mpreg fa...
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#14–The Angry Birds Movie (2016)–Unlimited Access To My Mouth from 2018-06-27T19:00:23
In this 420 friendly episode, Ben and Molly load into a comically oversized slingshot and launch themselves at The Angry Birds Movie (2016). Ben bravely soldiers on in the face of traumatic Emoji M...
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#13–Candy Land: The Great Lollipop Adventure (2005)–Kink Andy from 2018-06-19T14:00:04
Ben and Molly come down with the psychological equivalent of a stomachache after consuming Candy Land: The Great Lollipop Adventure (2005). Ben composes a lengthy dissertation on his personal candy...
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#12–Transformers (2007)–Samwise Gangee Has Got The AllSpark from 2018-05-30T20:39:15
Michael Bay is singlehandedly responsible for ruining this episode, in which Ben and Molly lose 143 minutes of their lives to the cinematic monstrosity Transformers (2007). Ben invents an effective...
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#11–Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)–Boobie-Wan Kenobi from 2018-05-09T17:54:20
Ben and Molly metaphorically throw themselves out of the plane that is Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995). Ben discovers the next great visual artist of our generation. Molly dictates a...
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#10–Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001)–Mocap, Mo’Problems from 2018-04-17T16:00:05
Ben and Molly perform a dark ritual to sacrifice 78 minutes of their finite mortal lives to the shifting, shapeless spectre of a film that is Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001). Ben astral projects fo...
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#09–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)–Teentle Meentle Neentle Tootles from 2018-04-04T01:44:11
Dick jokes abound as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) gives Ben and Molly an unsolicited crash course in turtle puberty. Ben composes a set of exceedingly helpful mnemonic poems to keep the turt...
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#08–My Little Pony: The Movie (1986)–I Guess I’ll Die from 2018-03-27T23:11:03
Still reeling from the previous episode, Ben and Molly look to My Little Pony: The Movie (1986) for mercy and find none. Ben recalls the first time he realized that love is dead. Molly acquires sho...
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#07–The Emoji Movie (2017)–Apples from 2018-03-13T23:16:53
Ben holds Molly at friendshippoint and forces her to watch The Emoji Movie (2017), a plan which backfires spectacularly. Ben makes a heartfelt personal entreaty to Patrick Stewart. Molly accidental...
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#06–The Lego Movie (2014)–When You Lost The Magic from 2018-03-07T02:47:54
After suffering through an unbroken string of terrible films, Ben and Molly find respite in The Lego Movie (2014) and admittedly aren’t quite sure what to do with themselves in the absence of seari...
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#05–Barbie and the Rockers: Out of This World / Barbie and the Sensations: Rockin’Back to Earth (1987)–The Sensations Are Cramps from 2018-02-27T18:03:16
Ben and Molly Lamaze breathe through all 45 minutes of Barbie and the Rockers and Barbie and the Sensations: Rockin’ Back to Earth (1987) – for science! Ben devises the perfect murder for Neil DeGr...
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#04–Pokémon: The First Movie (1998)–My Charizard From Hell from 2018-02-12T21:41:17
Ben and Molly look on in bewilderment as Pokémon: The First Movie (1998) accidentally dismantles the very foundation of its franchise’s premise. Ben makes the best joke of his entire career. Molly ...
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#03–Super Mario Bros. (1993)–“It’s A Blast!” from 2018-02-05T14:00:20
Ben and Molly put both their friendship and their general psychological resiliency to the test with a viewing of Super Mario Bros. (1993). Ben unlearns everything he has ever known about dinosaurs....
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#02–Masters of the Universe (1987)–Two Bags of Skittles from 2018-01-29T14:00:10
In this sophomore(ic) episode, Ben and Molly watch Masters of the Universe (1987) and make virtually no attempt to hide the fact that they would have much rather watched Flight of the Navigator. Be...
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#01–Trolls (2016)–Naked Troll Encounter from 2018-01-22T20:43:39
In this racy premiere episode, Ben and Molly watch Trolls (2016), a psychedelic fever dream of a film whose apparent directive is to incite in its young viewers as many kink awakenings as possible....
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