How I Would Have Written It - EP 01 - Suicide Squad - a podcast by IFH Podcast Network

Better late than never. I had an entire other idea sketched out then decided I just hated it and wanted to start over from scratch.




I know I promised this like 1-2 or 20 so weeks ago (whose counting?) but this is something I had an idea to do and what better way then to pitch this as a podcast. So in a way this is like a pitch meeting just very public and anyone who wants it can download it.
The two recent DC Movies both have bombed with critics and audience alike but they still made nine figures apiece at the Box Office. Why? Well what else can we say other than the fact that Super hero movies are whats hot.
I know what DC is trying to do they're trying to set up tent pole movies to set up more tent pole movies.
The problems with Suicide Squad were many, and there are other channels like Red Letter Media and What Culture who've gone into them as well so I won't repeat them here. I'll just tell you my two big problems with Suicide Squad were:
1. It wasn't entertaining. The cardinal syn of any movie.
The movie needs to be fun and it needs to be entertaining. What if I told you I had an idea to not only could have made a better Suicide Squad but set up all the rest of the DC Movies?
2. There was no clear goal or motivation for anyone.
Regardless of whatever big tent pole movie comes out, the movie has to have a story. I know what you're thinking, Dave haven't you seen the latest Fast and the Furious movie? Well yes I have but I'm telling you that those movies do well for a reason. They're not just mindless fun but they've created a cast of characters that pop culture has latched on to. So there's no reason we can't do that here.
3. How do we handle a comic book movie?
Do we stay true to the comics or do we make up our own worlds? Well I say why not do both?
 
One quick note. I was incredibly tired when I recorded this so my apologizes for mumbling and talking too fast (yes, more than usual), and if I sometimes skip over important details of my story pitch. 
 
So without further delay, this is the end of our prologue, and lets get right into it.
 
 
My Pitch
 
 
At the end of the day, the Suicide Squad are villains. They're not going to change to fit into any rigid idea or story conventions. They're villains because of their actions. How they can change is what finding this item will do for them and what it will mean to them.
 
 
Everyone Loves a Clown... 
 
 
We open in complete darkness. Florescence light bulbs turn on temporary blinding us, the audience.
Into the room comes two guard both in bomb proof suits (think Hurt Locker or if you play a lot of video games, the Juggernaut suit from Call of Duty). They take all of the packages placed on the floor.
Not a word is said they've done this a million times before. They turn on a machine. Large, grinding gears come to life as the machine well past it's prime sparks to life.
The machine's conveyor belts pulls as the men place the packages on there one by one.
The X ray screener reveals various items such as love letters, weapons trying to be smuggled in, and the occasional person.
A select group of packages are chosen to be shipped. They're placed in a small bin and carried down to a waiting truck. Since everything has been checked, security and handling becomes normal again.
The truck travels through the streets of Gotham and finally arrives at, Arkum Asylum. As the mail truck gets to the gate,
A candle lit vigil is held outside. As the camera moves in closer, WE SEE that every mourner is dressed in various designs of Joker makeup.
This isn't a vigil, it's a tribute to their imprisoned God.
Inside of Arkum, Dr. Harley Quinzel sorts a large pile of mail all addressed to one person, 'The Joker'.

Dr. Quinzel is looking for an answer. Why do these people worship him as a God?
 
It'd be easy to label a few as crazy or losers but it seems the fan mail grows and grows and this is just the stuff that gets in. Inside of Arkum, Joker sits in his cell. The cell isn't too crazy and he's not allowed to have anything foreign like newspaper clippings, etc or a special cell like in the other Suicide Squad movie but I digress.

A KNOCK on the door. Dr. Quinzel looks over. A guard enters and tells her that it's time.
Under the careful watch of two security guards the Joker lays on the couch. Dr. Quinzel takes various notes as the Joker talks. Not of a grand scheme but of a longing... he's seen an actual God come to this planet and he absolutely DESTROYED Batman and he wants that same power because after all, he asks to Harley and us the audience, who wouldn't want to be a God?
Harley goes home that night. Her apartment is cramped and oddly enough, it looks a lot like her office. She has photos up of the Joker everywhere. Out of the darkness comes, Mercy Graves. Dr. Q is scared but Mercy tells her she means her no harm.She has an offer for her. Her boss is imprisoned but wants to see someone crazy enough to cause chaos without Superman now dead. It's a gift. Help the Joker escape, and the Joker can access the weaponry of Luthor corp.
Dr. Q ponders over her dilemma. Help the Joker escape confess her love and escape to become a criminal or stay with the life she has but at least she's not running from the law and him... (Batman)... Dr. Q thinks about what Joker said about finding the answer in her heart. She turns back to Mercy and accepts.
 
The 1st Suicide Squad
 
 
A dark room illuminated only by the large bank of monitors in front of her, Amanda Waller.
On the monitors, Waller watches as Suicide Squad beta has failed and all members are killed one by one by the terrorist organization (which sets the stage for the Suicide Squad sequel) they are battling. Everyone is now dead on both sides. While the mission is a success because the opposition is dead, it's now back to the drawing board.
 
A Beautiful Dream
 
The next day at Arkum Asylum. Harley launches her plan.
She asks that the Joker be brought in again for a therapy session. Once the Joker is wheeled in, she tells him everything. He grins, and the two embrace in the weirdest kiss in cinema history.
 
Various criminals sit in their cells... nothing out of the ordinary until all of the doors open one by one. The guards look at each other then all hell breaks loose.
A complete riot overtakes Arkum and soon the entirety of Arkum Asylum is in flames.
 
Dr. Quinzel and Joker break out in the confusion and they speed off (secretly) in a stolen car.
 
From the Ashes of Arkum Asylum
 
A police investigation into what caused this fire. There are casualties of inmates and guards among the burnt out building.
Gordon in the shadows chats with Batman...
Gordon removes a sheet revealing the two bodies believed to be Joker and Dr. Quinzel. Batman examines the charred remains, the large skeleton (Joker) is stabbing the small skeleton (Dr. Quinzel) in the heart.  Batman knows that something isn't right and he's going to figure out whats going on here.
 
From Ace Chemical plant with Love
Joker speaks with Dr. Quinzel about their life together. Harley makes the decision to jump into the chemicals to change for the Joker.

Harley falls out of the vat. On all fours she's puking up the chemicals in her lungs as she gasps for air. Joker slowly rides down the elevator down to meet her. "Have a nice trip?", The Joker quips.

She looks up at him, as she's now Harley Quinn.
 
 
 
Harley's Apartment
 
Joker and Harley enter. Joker is annoyed they had to make a stop here before going to Thunder Corp.
 
 
Joker goes into the kitchen to grab a drink/food while Harley digs up her secret box. She pulls it out from underneath the rug, to find a wilted rose. This is the rose Joker gave her when they first met (shown in quick flashback). She looks up to be greeted by Batman.
Joker here's whats happening in the next room and has to decide. Harley or himself. He choices himself.
Batman KICKS open the kitchen door to find the gas from the stove on HIGH and an aerosol can in the microwave. Batman grabs Harley, runs the length of the apartment, and dives out the window just as it explodes. The blast rocks the entire apartment.
 
A Beautiful Dream
 
Harley Quinn is now marched into Belle Reve prison.
 
We, the audience, are now introduced to the other (soon to be members) of Suicide Squad.
El Diablo -
Deadshot -
Captain Boomerang -
Slipknot -
Killer Croc -
 
No Enchantress. Why? I think the character was boring and she really doesn't fit into the current iterations of Suicide Squad as shes overpowered and there's really no clear opposition for her. In the real Suicide Squad movie, she could have teleported to Wallers office and gotten her heart back with little to no effort. In fact the first version of this story involved the Joker going to Blood Castle to resurrect the Enchantress in order to grant him powers. But I think this version works better. Anyways...
 
Col Rick Flag - (yes I know I messed up and called him Rick Blade at first during the podcast)
Katana -
 
Meanwhile....
 
Thunder Corp
Apple meets Google HQ in the DC Universe. A bustling campus with the absolute cutting edge technology.
 
A tour guide takes a small group into the lobby. Rather than a typical break in lets do something different. Something fun. Something Joker like.
 
Outside. A crazy man stares in the large glass window into the lobby.
 
The guards inside panic and realize they have to take out this loon before anyone sees him. The one guy calls for backup and together they proceed outside to take out his hopped up loon, who is still just staring into the window not moving an inch. The guards approach him just a huge truck SLAMS through the from of the building. People start to panic and flee to the exits.
Phase 2 starts. The guards are taken out.
The Joker and his Freak Show (name for his new group) descend further into the building as the leave the lobby a mess of broken glass and bodies.
The Joker is back and everybody knows it.
 
Suicide Squad - Take 2
 
Amanda Waller marches down a

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