Podcasts by The Nick Abbot Habit

The lights go out from 2023-11-27T13:58

This week is a special all-Donny episode in celebration of the time his plans for a state visit to these shores were turned upside down.

The Moon-faced Numpty from 2023-11-20T15:07

This week's clips from Spring 2019 feature Theresa May as Prime Minister, some Tories were alarmed at the thought of Boris Johnson replacing her, as though that would ever happen, and there's so...

The milk criminal from 2023-11-13T14:32

This week, an old adversary calls, I duck out of imitating Ann Widdecombe for health reasons and there's an incident in the kitchenette.

Surfers of Doom from 2023-11-06T13:21

This week's clips are mostly from April 2019 when the right wing couldn't make up their minds on whether they wanted actors to talk politics, there was a wave warning, a smoking police officer w...

How are your onions? from 2023-10-30T15:57

This week's clips from 2019 include me getting mistaken for my twin Diane Abbott, a man calls with a solution to stress and ladybirds attack.

How's it a sport? from 2023-10-23T14:36

This week's clips from 2019 include me buying a car, Jacob Mee-Smugg says something stupid, a man calls in on hemp and there's two bang-up-to-date calls from last weekend that you may enjoy.

Pink boats and whales from 2023-10-16T17:42

This week's clips are of a protest to skirt round, we go looking for sea life and find an alarming recipe for soap.

Open season on Dames from 2023-10-09T12:07

It was a week of protests against protests, there was a pink boat with a celebrity onboard and we found a possible benefit of sea levels rising. 

No spoilers! from 2023-10-02T15:26

This week's clips include talk about polls, I make a prediction in 2019 that came true in 2023 and we were looking forward to the last series of the biggest show on Earth.

What's a black hole like? from 2023-09-25T19:33

This week, in clips from 2019, Mrs M was having a 'mare, we saw a picture of something invisible and take a trip on a magic dolphin.

A problem with time from 2023-09-18T15:39

Following on from last week, there was some disagreement about the next James Bond, a woman falls foul of a dress code and there's a cab on the way that will never arrive.

Picking the next Bond from 2023-09-11T13:37

This week, there's an 007 issue and an irate call from an irate man, I call out Twitterers, predict Donald Trump's future and wonder at French people.

Getting shrunk from 2023-09-04T11:00

This week, I get an appointment with the head doctor, everyone disagrees with everyone all the time and there's a chemical warfare experiment update.

Not the Nadine Dorries resignation letter from 2023-08-29T13:05

This week's clips are a mix of old and very new. From 2019 an old lady picked a fight with all young people, an American explains what Britain was going through and Nigel mentions the war. From ...

A little disagreement from 2023-08-21T15:01

It's 2019 and I make a prediction about Donald Trump, have a heated chat with a Leaver who I bet has changed his mind since we talked four and a half years ago, and we remember when Paulie Walnu...

What's 999,800 between friends? from 2023-08-14T15:26

It was 2019 and we were comparing sizes, a lot of people were ringing to tell me I'd "lost, get over it" and there was an eye-witness to Nigel Farage's super-human abilities.

Driving through where?! from 2023-08-07T14:42

In this week's clips from 2019, we were trying to name a prominent Mark, I accurately predict our future, we hear of some unpleasant place names and there's a tale of two marches.

A stream of noise hitting your head from 2023-07-31T14:17

This week, I am at the end of a 16 show-in-a-row stretch and high on carpet cleaner, I plan a total radio takeover and we search for a Good Mark.

The Comedy Parade from 2023-07-24T17:15

This week I overdose on dandruff medicine, Donald Trump attacks Mrs M. and there's a comedy parade of the permanently furious.

The Spring Clean of Mass Destruction from 2023-07-17T15:44

This week, I get a second dose of chemical warfare, we take a trip to see Led Zeppelin for next to nothing at all and Uncle Nigel gets wet.

A short walk on a long march from 2023-07-10T14:42

This week, Nigel takes a stroll, there's the secret to happiness and I get high on carpet cleaner. Those last two are not connected.

High on cleaning fumes from 2023-07-03T14:51

This week, I see vapour trails coming off everything, we get a spy report from Denmark and there's a LOT of happiness about.

Blowing a gasket from 2023-06-26T14:44

It was Spring 2019 and Julian Assange had just emerged from the Ecuadorian embassy, I appear to lose my mind and am disappointed by both the French and a black hole.

He mentioned the war! from 2023-06-19T13:47

This week, banker waves his money at me, I admit to doing Top Secret work and a man finds something great on a bus.

A right Humphrey from 2023-06-12T11:17

This week, in clips from 2019, I get threatened with half a billion people, there's a car nightmare and from this weekend, two bang-up-to-date callers, one is a Humphrey and the other ...

Smugg gets comical from 2023-05-30T10:24

In Spring of 2019, the word "flextention" had just been 

coined, Mrs M was doing her best, I'd had a face full of something 

poisonous and the Dad's Army recreation society...

Brexit ruined my lips from 2023-05-22T15:18

This week, a lady has a make-up crisis, there was intense discussions between the clown shoe lady and the bearded weirdo and people were stockpiling in case Brexit went badly.

A face full from 2023-05-15T10:24

It was Spring 2019 and the thought of Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister came up (oh how we laughed), a man muttered something about the royals taking charge and the House of Commons was spou...

Your call is important to us from 2023-05-08T14:08

In this episode, I get picked on by the mayor, we talk artificial intelligence (years before Chat GPT came along) and there's an unfortunate incident with a monkey

Powered by hot air from 2023-05-01T15:14

This week I get messages from numpties, we talk man-caves and a man called about something we weren't discussing and rather takes over.

Hazza's to-do list from 2023-04-24T15:03

This week, we were being dazzled, Nigel Farage was planning a protest march, Theresa May was busy negotiating and a prince was telling us to live more sustainably

Some grief from the help from 2023-04-17T14:31

In this week's clips, we find out who is responsible for a big TV game show, I fail to win a million pounds on another game show, I get a call from an odd hatchback driver and, in a bang up to d...

Zobidan the Creepy from 2023-04-11T13:14

This week, there's two clips that are bang up to date, one of which is confusing, the other a bit frightening. For the rest of the time, we are in 2019 and it was International Women's Day.

Two unfortunate pets from 2023-04-03T15:07

This week's clips from 2019 include talk about money, Tubular Bells and grits. It ends with a very recent pair of calls from last month, one is a Boris Johnson fan who calls to defend him and a ...

Hold the grits! from 2023-03-27T16:04

This week's clips from 2019 include Nigel Farage on a mission, we were concerned about American food and threatened with riots. There's also a very clip from about a week ago in which ...

I ain't got no class from 2023-03-20T14:58

It was 2019 and I'd had a win on the Lottery, Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson was trying to be frightening, Donald Trump got a health check and Nigel Farage organised a march.

Who? from 2023-03-13T14:24

It's a bit different this week - there's clips from 2019 when Mrs M was in power and the Tories were fighting with anything that moved, there's a question about where's London and this week I've...

Sing faster! from 2023-03-06T14:24

This week's clips include talking about billionaires, a caller expressed themselves in an artistic manner and I give a firm but fair opinion on rugby.

AI and the IQ of MPs from 2023-02-27T14:26

This week's clips are from four years ago when we were 

having an oddly familiar conversation, took a peek at the internet and took the bus to Wetherspoons.

Getting caught short from 2023-02-20T14:48

This week's clips are from this time four years ago when the weather was fantastic, Tories were fighting with each other and there was a crisis in a coffee shop.

I have a dream from 2023-02-13T15:15

This week's clips are from early 2019 when Donald Trump was going on about his huge and tremendous wall, we found that the internet is lying to us and we got bad news about Bournemouth.

Don't breathe in from 2023-02-06T15:16

It was 2019 and the kids were having a grand day out to protest about climate change, I learned something about Bournemouth and people were fearing what was coming from the skies.

The kids are revolting! from 2023-01-30T16:47

This week's clips are from 2019 when a certain personage had crashed his car, school pupils decided to do something because adults weren't and there was an issue with bugs.

Going to a better party from 2023-01-23T14:06

This week's clips are from February 2019 when there was a weather forecast that should give up hope for next month, a new political party had been formed that you may already have forgotten existed...

The Cow Issue from 2023-01-16T15:19

This week's clips are from 2019 when we thought we were living in odd times. If only we knew what was round the corner! In these clips, we help an isolated man in Yorkshire and a farmer is very ang...

Gibraltar fights back from 2023-01-09T15:12

It was February 2019 and a British colony was under attack, I got animated about the national antem, there was David Beckham news and some billionaires got told off.

A right old ding-dong. from 2022-12-19T15:26

This weeks clips are from 2019 and there's some funny stuff here. There was warnings of food shortages, someone thought that KFC running out of chicken was their way of scuppering Brexit, a caller ...

Howzat?! from 2022-12-12T15:21

This weeks clips from 2019 feature me getting confused about cricket, having a fight with some callers, choosing a favourite song and comparing Jeremy Corbyn to a Star Wars character.

What's a nanny do? from 2022-12-05T14:41

This week's clips are from 2019 when we were staring at windmills, dreaming of island living, ruining Pink Floyd and I had an electricity crisis.

More Communist Tripe from 2022-11-28T15:01

We dance around the years in this one. Starting in 2020 for a little light conspiracy theorising, then back to 2019 for a road safety fail and I get a request, which sounds like a demand.

The loudest light from 2022-11-21T14:56

It was Autumn 2020 and a man picked fight about pubs, another honours list was announced, a lady had a controversial cure for the mad bat disease, we looked forward to an important announcement and...

Cows with guns from 2022-11-14T13:59

This weeks clips include Donny goes to hospital, as really stupid idea from Gavin Williamson and an even stupider one from Pritti Patel and a rat gets its just deserts.

Strategy? What strategy? from 2022-11-07T14:28

It was Autumn 2020 and there was a rush on in the supermarkets, people were confused about restrictions, some callers sounded very refreshed and there was revolution in the air

The big picture from 2022-10-31T13:52

This week, Donald Trump's fans are confused, it was two years ago and we were all about the bubbles and I get a little too much praise for my part in fighting the Mad Bat Disease.

The Secret of Happiness from 2022-10-24T13:21

This week's clips are from Autumn 2020 when a certain Boris Johnson insisted we shouldn't have parties, we were envious of Swedes (not the vegetable) and there was a protest parade about pretty muc...

The Hamburger Issue from 2022-10-17T12:13

It was two years ago and there was the curious case of the see-through premier, confusion about Level 42, some concern about burgers and a slight communication breakdown.

The groin issue from 2022-10-10T13:14

This week, Donald Trump's fans get that sinking feeling, the government threatened us to get back to teh office, I lose track of time and a man shares a little too much

Watch out, communists about from 2022-10-03T16:02

This week's clips are from when the English football team proved a disappointment, David Blaine did something odd with ice and Donald Trump flipped out when he saw where he was staying in London.

Irate in Uxbridge from 2022-09-27T10:59

This week's clips are from Autumn 2020 and follow on from last week's podcast, in which a chap thought I should give away all my money, we were reminiscing about the days before Bodger Johnson took...

It's all my fault! from 2022-09-20T13:59

It was Autumn 2020 and I get interrupted by a digital intrusion, I have a heated debate wit a bloke who thinks I am the problem, pick a fight with Australia and America and at the end there's a gre...

Strictly who? from 2022-09-05T19:11

This week's clips are from a pretty important period in which the wheels started coming off the clown car, I take a fiery call from one of the usual suspects and fail to recognise some celebrities.

Millions of visitors from 2022-08-29T12:59

This week's clips have people fighting like cats and dogs, I talk about waiting for the music, the government were telling us to go outside after telling us to stay indoors and there's a curious ta...

Italian food is very dangerous from 2022-08-22T14:07

It was August two years ago and the government were telling us to go back to work after telling us not to, I have some good advice for a TV show set to return and we remember when no-one was allowe...

16 cats in the kitchen from 2022-08-15T14:38

This weeks clips include me explaining what's wrong with other drivers, I prove that no-one is interested in a cultural institution at the centre of a BIG row and I make a prediction about Donald T...

Soberish from 2022-08-08T14:13

This week's podcast follows on from last week's clips and features a square sheep, a silly song and raging at roads.

The square sheep from 2022-08-02T09:52

This week's clips we were perplexed by the world's most expensive sheep, I measured the size of Nigel Farage's mouth and people were getting wound up by a song

1.4 billion interesting people from 2022-07-25T15:12

This week’s clips are from the start of the Mad Bat Disease. It hadn’t hit yet but van drivers were thinking about getting security and tourists were told not to act like they were on holiday!

Nightmare house guests from 2022-07-18T12:09

This week’s clips are from Spring 2020 and a man calls from his zoo, a woman calls from her fire engine and I buy a bowler hat.

Sayonara Croydon from 2022-07-11T15:36

This week’s clips are from Spring 2020, in which a lady recreates Noah’s Ark, there’s things you don’t want to see in a pandemic, The Goop Woman Strikes Back, being late for the Sex Pistols and the...

Vegetables aren’t grizzly from 2022-07-04T12:37

This week’s clips are from the start of the Mad Bat Disease, there were reports of disappointment at the supermarket, we learned how not to get divorced, I had a holiday disaster and received one ...

These nuts taste funny from 2022-06-27T12:20

This week, there’s new rules about money, a loo with a view, the musty aroma of a pub and I look forward to a dental appointment.

It weren’t me! from 2022-06-20T13:14

This week’s clips are from early 2020 when we were just hearing about the Mad Bat Disease and some people were taking advantage, there’s a phoney French listener with material and a confusing messa...

A genius restaurant promotion from 2022-06-13T12:41

This week’s clips are from when we were just hearing about the Mad Bat Disease and include a restauranteur with an idea, a man who offers to subject himself to free beer and panic buying was afoot.

A bucket of mist from 2022-06-06T13:29

These clips include science advice from a self confessed genius, we were trying not to touch our faces and were frightened of running out of toilet paper

Chimps with nukes from 2022-05-30T12:24

This week’s clips include a mystifying call about the truth, there’s a worrying development in the animal kingdom and Bodger Johnson spies a job creation opportunity.

The bathroom ballet from 2022-05-23T12:13

This week, there’s the rules of the bathroom dance, we were freaking out about washing our hands and I found that animals are playing catch-up.

The Toilet Issue from 2022-05-16T09:53

This week’s clips from two years ago include me not getting calmed about a dental visit, the Eurovision Song Contest was imminent and no-one had seen the Dear Leader in a while.

Absent without leave from 2022-05-09T10:14

This week’s clips are from two years ago when people were wondering where Bodger had got to, as he seemed to have disappeared. Turns out he was selling himself to the highest Russian bidder, a man ...

How much for a toaster?! from 2022-05-02T00:00

In this week’s clips we were trying to save the planet, one plastic bag at a time, there was alarming news on the price of a kitchen gadget and we hear about the surprising stuff people found in th...

Flip-flop heaven from 2022-04-26T10:13

This week we were enjoying our all-new passports, a voter is not entirely satisfied with how his decision turned out and I explain why some footwear is ill advised.

Where’s Bodger? from 2022-04-19T14:49

This week’s clips are from two years ago when Bodger Johnson had done one of his disappearing acts, people had started to turn anti-packaging and we get a lecture from a bank.

What’s the Queen on? from 2022-04-11T12:53

This week, we find out something alarming about the pandemic, people were upset about the environment, there was a Friends reunion and we discover where the Queen is to be found.

George Clooney gets swamped from 2022-04-04T15:36

In this episode we have lots of fun with weather and Bodger Johnson’s place gets a touch-up.

How to eat peanut butter from 2022-03-28T11:12

These clips from two years ago include our first taste of panic buying, a listener with material manages to get one by me and a nice lady shares her breakfast routine.

Pasta is very dangerous from 2022-03-23T11:07

This week’s clips are from two years ago when people were panic buying lettuce, Meghan Sparkles had not yet been dubbed the Wicked Witch of the West, I was trying not to touch my face and we learne...

Washing your hands with booze from 2022-03-14T22:00

This week’s clips are from the start of our journey through the mad bat disease, when we were experiencing our first supermarket sweeps of toilet paper and we were trying not to touch our faces.

Don’t touch your face! from 2022-03-07T15:00

These clips are from a couple of years ago when I had a Nesquik disaster, we were starting to panic about toilet paper and everyone was going germ-free.

Asking For A Punch from 2022-02-21T15:00

This week’s clips are from when I had a cold and was also suffering from inhaling a foreign object in my sleep but as you can imagine, I wasn’t complaining about it at all!

Something inside my insides from 2022-02-21T11:00

This week there’s more talk of the Death Bat, Donny and Bodger’s relationship sours and I have a go at SUV drivers.

Squirrels in the attic from 2022-02-07T17:00

This week’s clips from two years ago include several animal nightmares, a boat load of people get sent to Milton Keynes, something other than the disease was giving us reason to be concerned about ...

Bats in the attic, squirrels in the loft from 2022-01-31T15:30

This weeks clips are from two years ago when we were expecting a storm, we hadn’t yet started on our Covid nightmare, I had a row with a nice lady about an awful man and I was suffering from a fluf...

Inhaling something really bad from 2022-01-24T16:00

This week’s clips include Donald Trump’s weird attraction to a certain animal, there’s an alarming prediction about our future, I take in something that disagrees with me, we were at the very start...

Having someone for dinner from 2022-01-17T14:30

This week’s clips are from two years ago when someone wanted to give Bodger a chance, a man had an interesting idea for dinner and there was a storm-a-coming.

You could see her arm! from 2022-01-10T16:30

This week’s clips are from two years ago, when we had not yet experienced the delights of Covid or a Boris Johnson leadership. The nation was gripped by a wardrobe malfunction and worried about the...

A cosy contraception from 2021-12-20T05:52

This week the nation was gripped by an off-the-shoulder number, bees were a problem and a wide range of experts called to talk about things they knew nothing about.

Take me to your leader from 2021-12-06T17:00

This week, I have a fight with the equipment, someone doesn't quite understand a Labour Party promise, a storm is coming in, some people get stuck in Milton Keynes and we realise we are not the bri...

A sexual disease down under from 2021-11-29T16:00

This week's clips are from the first day of our freedom from the Evil European Overlords, I get a proposal from a lady in Croydon, we fail to spot a celebrity, find a dog's worth £10m and discover ...

Fix bayonets! from 2021-11-22T14:00

This week's clips are from the day after we escaped the clutches of the European Socialist Superstate and we were having a LOT of fun. There was a playlist to guess, a portrait to marvel at and a s...

Dusting your nick-knacks from 2021-11-15T15:00

It was the day after our glorious escape from our evil European overlords and everyone was in a great mood, including me. There was a small cloud on our horizon of a mysterious invisible menace bre...

We're out! from 2021-11-09T14:00

It is the day this podcast has been building up to for a while now and it finally arrived. We left the EU on the 31st of January 2020 and Nick Ferrari was on air for the glorious moment. I followed...

Keep taking the pills from 2021-11-01T15:00

This week, Australia was on fire, China was reacting to a virus that hadn't got here yet, I had a dicky tummy and Donald Trump allowed companies to pollute America's rivers - good job that wouldn't...

Pasta is a vegetable from 2021-10-26T07:53

This week's clips are from the week before we left the Evil European Socialist Superstate, President Tangerine Scream reclassified food, I was bravely putting up with a dodgy stomach and Boris John...

Morons on motorbikes from 2021-10-18T14:00

We were just a week away from our glorious future outside the evil EU superstate, word was coming from China about a mysterious new illness and I was recovering from a dodgy oyster.

Earthquake rumblings from 2021-10-11T13:30

This week's clips are from when we were hearing of the invisible menace from China for the first time and I may have been one of the first people in this country to get it. Or it might have been a...

Solving global warming with a tube from 2021-10-04T14:30

This week, it was the week before we left the European Union to access our perfect new lives, a man calls to tell me about his organ and we solve global warming in one easy step.

To space and beyond! from 2021-09-27T13:00

This week, in clips from January 2020, Donald Trump announced his Space Force, we were a week away from our glorious future outside the Evil European Socialist Superstate and I declare war on trees.

Uh-oh! It begins. from 2021-09-21T07:15

This week, in clips from January 2020, a man wakes up from what sounds like a coma and sees who our prime minister is, the church talk about sex a lot and there's the very first inkling from China ...

Kook Alert! from 2021-09-13T13:30

This week's clips were from just before we escaped the Evil European Overlords, one lady was very upset about it, there's a spooky prediction about empty shelves and quite a lot of eccentric callers.

Keeping the ball rolling from 2021-09-07T12:00

This week, there's some calls so impenetrable you'd need to be Alan Turing to figure them out, Sajman Jav slips up and we learn who is the backbone of this great country.

More than one moose from 2021-08-30T14:30

This week's clips come from when Hazza and Sparkles were causing consternation by not following the script we had written for them, we were about to be free of our European Socialist Overlords, Th...

Worst. Trifle. Ever. from 2021-08-23T15:30

This week, people were obsessing about the colour of their passports, there's crisps and chocolate at the same time and Hazza and Sparkles were threatening to leave.

Party Planning from 2021-08-16T15:30

This week's clips are from just weeks before we gained our freedom from the Evil Socialist Superstate and someone was planning a celebration. I get a call from an old enemy and one from a customer...

Can you spare a Bob boy? from 2021-08-09T12:30

This week's clips are from days before we ascended the sunny uplands of our glorious future and left the Evil Socialist Superstate, the nation was searching for loose change, Donito Mussolini was f...

Bonging for Britain from 2021-08-02T15:30

These clips are from just weeks before we first heard about an invisible menace in China and we were occupied by other matters like what Hazza and Sparkles were going to do next and, most pressingl...

Flimflam and twaddle from 2021-07-27T15:30

We are in January 2020 when we were bathing in the glory of a new leader and the invisible menace was yet to be heard of. There's the best TV shows, a unique way of funding the nation's favourite i...

The great escape from 2021-07-20T13:00

These clips are from January 2020, just before we left the EU and before we heard of the invisible menace that was just around the corner. There's quite some chat about the royals and an old friend...

Cruella the puppy stealer from 2021-07-12T13:00

This week's clips are from January last year and we were talking then about many of the things we are still talking about now. A heartless, evil woman from far, far away had come to steal our preci...

Mind the bull from 2021-07-06T13:00

This week is a bit spooky as a good few months before we had ever heard of the virus, the idea of wearing masks and working from home came up, along with something odd in a farmer's field and even ...

Introducing 'I've Been Thinking with Peter Frankopan' from 2021-07-01T16:00

Hi, Nick Abot listener,We’ve got another brand new podcast we think you’ll enjoy.‘I’ve Been Thinking’ is a new weekly show hosted by Peter Frankopan. As well as being a best-selling author (Silk Ro...

The 16th Show in a Row from 2021-06-28T14:30

This week's clips are from the end of a marathon run of shows over Christmas 2019. Donald Trump had just bombed Iran, Australia was on fire, someone commits a milk crime and I declare war on daytim...

Panic at the Tesco from 2021-06-21T12:00

This week, the clips are from just after New Year 2020 and we take a trip round the new Prime Minister's love nest hideaway, wonder why there's no female equivalent for a "toyboy", dampen a singed ...

Getting deep from 2021-06-14T12:00

This week's clips are from early 2020 when it looked like World War 3, there is a lot of rage around, just like today, and I go into what I think that is all about.

Introducing 'If It Bleeds It Leads' from 2021-06-11T10:00

Hi Nick Abbot fans – we have a new True Crime podcast we think you’ll enjoy called ‘If It Bleeds It Leads’Could you be a criminal? What separates the way you think, from the criminal mind? Join the...

Getting whacky with the doc from 2021-06-07T12:30

This week we go behind the scenes (allegedly) of doctor wotsit off the telly, I get attacked by a fan of the kooky president of a kooky country and there's an incident in the Pound Shop.

You've got what in your muesli?! from 2021-06-02T11:10

This week we are forced to pick a seat in the cinema, the EU take our windows away, a strange argument is used for eating on the bus and I get put right off my breakfast.

The Belly Button Inspector from 2021-05-24T12:30

This week we cover everything in chocolate, find something awful on the bus, wash our shopping long before covid appeared and eat off a tree.

All you need is lion dung from 2021-05-17T12:00

This week: Kier Starmer's hair, what to do with a squirrel, getting a takeaway from the zoo and what not to eat on a train.

Guess who was more popular than Boris from 2021-05-10T12:00

This week, some time traveling between when Boris Johnson was elected leader of the Tories and how we felt about him two months later, there's a certain Nigel getting hit with a tasty treat and som...

Going in the right direction from 2021-05-04T07:45

This week, in clips from two years ago, which proves that nothing much changes, Boris Johnson has a fight over furniture, I get schooled in the delights of Bon Jovi and we find out which country's ...

Boris Johnson ruined my sofa from 2021-04-26T08:00

This week's is a hoot - there's a reminder of how unreliable summers can be and a tantrum on the tennis court but mostly there's a lot of shouting and crashing coming from Boris Johnson's girlfrien...

The Spice Girls versus Metallica from 2021-04-19T08:30

This week, we were contemplating the Tory leadership contest horror show, there was a spy report from a certain woman-group concert and I pick a fight with a heavy metal band.

What colour is a blue egg? from 2021-04-12T10:00

This week a re-match with an old sparring partner, trying to see Madonna from the cheap seats, how to get a new bike and who to blame if thing's aren't going your way.

Madonna costs how much?! from 2021-04-06T17:15

This week, there's a shocker about Madonna, I get interrogated about drugs, there's a disagreement about Genesis and Donito Mussolini picks a fight with one of ours.

Fun with maths from 2021-03-29T12:30

This week, the comical demands of the Tangerine Tornado when he wanted to stay with the Queen but couldn't, an up-to-date shocker about the world's most expensive room and a young person calls and ...

Cheating at golf from 2021-03-22T15:30

This week, the return of the naked cyclists, Donny kicks balls and I explain magnets.

Fighting with a sinner from 2021-03-15T16:30

This week, magnets in space, naked cyclists and how to catch a social disease (not related).

The Conservative Drug Taking Competition from 2021-03-08T15:00

This week, in the race to become our next Prime Minister, the candidates have a spliff-off, Donald Trump titillates the Queen and what a San Francisco tram smells like.

Impersonating a national treasure from 2021-03-01T15:30

This week, a news clip that will delight a certain section of the country who will never get tired of hearing it, having a laugh with the Marxist Brothers and how to spend £40 billion.

Friends without benefits from 2021-02-22T15:30

This week, how we avoided World War Three, which politician looks like a Lord of the Rings character, what 5G will make more difficult and who's fault is everything!

The blimp is back! from 2021-02-15T16:00

This weeks clips are from Spring 2019 when the country held its breath for the arrival of Cheeto Mussolini. The Baby Tornado was going to blow into town and some people had made special preparations.

What does a stoned cat look like? from 2021-02-08T12:00

This week, a cat goes cold turkey, we find a use for the spice jar at the back of your cupboard and a certain orange tornado was planning to visit.

Alien sex alert! from 2021-02-01T16:30

This week a certain Baby Tornado was due to arrive at the Palace in April 2019, there's a mystifying call about drugs from a person who may be familiar with them and some alarming news of very pers...

Power surge! from 2021-01-25T19:30

This week, a man complains to an unlikely individual about his electricity, I conduct a very brief chat with an old "friend" and we talk pot a lot.

Exit the Baby Tornado from 2021-01-19T12:30

This week I mix clips from April 2019 with one bang up to date from last weekend in honour of the departure from the Whitehouse of the Tangerine Scream. Plus there's some alarming news for people w...

A total eclipse of the Queen from 2021-01-11T14:30

This week, a certain tangerine nightmare was planning an invasion of this country. This week's clips are from two years ago, when everything that happened this month seemed entirely predictable.

ET is your father from 2020-12-21T17:00

A bumper festive issue that has aliens, commandments and meat and is stuffed full of fruits and nuts.

A spooky premonition from 2020-12-14T15:30

This week, I see into our future, mix a cocktail for a tube train and fight a dwarf warrior in Middle-earth

Don't eat the "chocolate" from 2020-12-07T17:45

This week there are a LOT of facts thrown about and even I learn something. There's a very surprising piece of information about solar panels, we learn why cows are better than boats and there's a ...

A car that goes whooosh from 2020-11-30T16:30

This week, a boat gets dismantled by law experts, how to shame Denmark and there's a hint of automotive trouble to come.

This podcast is an education! from 2020-11-23T15:30

This week, we get educated about things that go boom, some eco-ists get threatened with bascules and an airborne menace that's not the virus.

The solution to all our problems from 2020-11-17T12:30

This week, there is nothing like a dame on a mission, the next best thing to having a car and the answer to our stressed out, frantic lives.

Introducing Hunting Ghislaine with John Sweeney from 2020-11-13T14:15

Hi Nick Abbot fans LBC have a new podcast we think you’ll enjoy - Hosted by legendary reporter John Sweeney, Hunting Ghislaine is a 6 part series about Ghislaine Maxwell, the daughter of a disgra...

Baby soap (not what you think) from 2020-11-09T13:37

This week, the IQ of frogs, buying a car while your head is swimming and the slightly controversial but sustainable way to clean yourself.

The purple hair brigade from 2020-11-03T13:13

This week, we're off to sea on a beautiful bright pink boat, a Dame hoves into view and London is given back to the people.

That's what Donald Trump is made of from 2020-10-19T14:00

This week, the clips are taken from a year before the virus had been heard of but there is a spooky message of what was to come, we marvel at the size of a politician's tubers and if you want to ma...

Introducing "What Next?" with Lionel Barber from 2020-10-15T11:04

Hi Nick Abbot fans LBC have a new podcast we think you’ll enjoy - Hosted by Lionel Barber, the former Editor of the Financial Times, What Next? focuses on life after COVID-19 and sees the multi-aw...

It's a car crash! from 2020-10-12T15:45

This week, in clips from Spring 2019, there's a prediction about where the next financial crash would come from (subsequently proved to be WAY out), an automotive expert calls to correct me and I h...

A whiskey, a light ale and a whine from 2020-10-05T15:00

This week's podcast is from a show recorded before the world had ever heard of that bloomin' virus and includes a little light altercation about a subject that used to occupy us before all this hit...

The Mayor killed my car! from 2020-09-28T11:30

This week's podcast is from last year when I went to war with the Mayor of London (he started it), I survive a builders' dust incident and there is a horrible image of two people kissing.

The birth of a new old wave from 2020-09-22T16:10

This week, the cleanest party launch ever, a man with a weird way of saying things rings in to say a lot, the perils posed by poorer people and the price of a cab.

A stickler for rules from 2020-09-14T12:40

This week I find myself agreeing with some people I never thought would be on my side, I have a stand up row about money and a woman calls who swears she isn't drunk.

The man who knows a LOT about wind from 2020-09-07T13:45

This week, top of the non-season to you. As a helpful primer, we learn when to tell your kids there's no Santa, an orange giant rails against windmills, there's the smallest and most disappointing ...

It's the most magical time of the year! from 2020-08-31T16:05

This week, we celebrate Christmas very, very early. Jesus' personal friend calls in, I am bemused by Quentin Tarantino, Boris Johnson is revealed to have a cunning plan, I have an altercation at th...

Don't make predictions! from 2020-08-24T14:18

This week, there's a crush at the shops, I spy Steve Allen's Bentley and a listener with material gets a joke past me without me noticing.

Why Boris Johnson is like Star Wars from 2020-08-17T11:00

This week, we investigate the similarity of electing Boris Johnson and waiting for a new Star Wars film, I have a right old row about a subject that used to be top of the news before a certain litt...

Unpolitically incorrect from 2020-08-10T12:30

This week I make a prediction which could not have been more wrong, there's a close encounter with a personal explosive problem, I launch an attack on a weapons manufacturer and have a shouting mat...

A toff can't take his top orf from 2020-08-03T13:05

This week: there's a lot of weather about, all of it the wrong sort; a man has an issue with electric cars; an upper class twit fails a test and what ice caps are really for.

Nick predicts the future from 2020-07-27T12:30

This week I have a frighteningly accurate guess at the future, we hear a couple of plans to save the world, a man uses a device to get in touch that I bet you haven't used in decades and we hear ho...

Don't eat the sprouts! from 2020-07-20T12:30

This week: the danger on your dinner plate, how to greenify your car, ripped jeans and the total destruction of Planet Earth.

Cows on a bus from 2020-07-13T12:33

This week everything breaks but makes a very nice colour, a man is scared of Trumpists, Super Puff Planets (whatever they are) and one of those give-up-something-for-a-month things.

What does Boris Johnson look like wet? from 2020-07-06T15:05

This week, a listener with material gets one by me, a weather update from Sudan, my glamorous assistant gets corrected, I give bad advice about what to do during a roadside sobriety test and we fin...

What should we do with Australia? from 2020-06-29T12:30

This week, I get shouted at a lot by people who don't believe in climate change, I wonder if you can switch off the internet and make plans to re-purpose Australia for the benefit of the planet.

A celebrity's random act of kindness from 2020-06-22T11:10

This week, we learn how to say "Bowie", I recount everything I learned at university, a mystery is solved and there's a happy encounter with a star.

You can't say happiness without saying... from 2020-06-15T12:54

This week, I am deluged by weather, a listener with material manages to get a joke on air and a very confusing man explains who he is disappointed with.

Fun with numbers from 2020-06-08T11:50

This week it is an educational podcast full of verifiable facts, some of which are also true. There's bumps in space, weather control machines and the price of tomatoes.

The Breakfast Buffet from 2020-06-01T11:00

This week, a reminder that a certain controversial beanie hat model has been making news for quite a while, what to eat for the most important meal of the day, what happens when ice melts and are b...

A reminder of who we voted for from 2020-05-25T12:05

This week I have a major rant about climate change, we learn what to have with a beer, how to prevent your car from being stolen in South Africa and what to do when presented with something that ma...

Frisk the dog from 2020-05-18T11:00

This week: how to ruin a planet and where to live when you're done; what goes with beer, cider and blackcurrant; the way to raise children and how many is too many.

Fruit flavoured beer? from 2020-05-11T11:40

This week: how to ruin a perfectly good beverage, defending Marmite, funny badges and titles and a LOT of weather.

Does size matter? from 2020-05-04T11:40

This week: Steve Allen's Bentley, the B-side that became an A-side, why DIY usually fails and I'm asked how big is Boris Johnson.

The route to endless happiness from 2020-04-27T11:00

This week a woman plots the path to eternal bliss, a man ignores his smoke alarm and we find who or what is a Victorian unit.

What's an app then? from 2020-04-20T11:00

This week, I school a lady on the subject of the internet, there is an ingenius solution to a warning light problem and love the Belgian way.

Darth Vader is a bad parent from 2020-04-14T09:15

This week: Star Wars, smart speakers fight back, a man tells me to get on my bike and I have to correct my glamorous assistant.

The Orange Baby Tornado from 2020-04-06T13:00

This week, I revisit the time when I locked myself out, a woman makes an emtional plea to the young, a chap has an altercation with a youth and...LOOK OUT!..Ancient Orange is coming our way.

Picking a fight with Facebook from 2020-03-30T13:15

This week, there is a lot of Neil Young, a rant ot two about (un)social media, the importance of knowing how many animals you have, the pros and cons of Coldplay and how to get what you want by usi...

The Un-Groovy 60's from 2020-03-23T13:00

This week a man admits to doing something we need but rarely see, there's a whole lotta boomer-bashing going on, where not to grow up in the 1960's and a stand-up row about class.

She likes me, she REALLY likes me! from 2020-03-16T12:10

This week, I receive an alarming amount of praise, the plans to make you drive like a robot, Trump's family whines and an electrical expert speaks.

Where's Larry? from 2020-03-09T12:00

This week there's a little light to-do over the Queen's stuff, a man wants MPs to not do their job, the mystery of the disappearing cat and the Big Rice Debate.

An old friend makes a comeback from 2020-03-02T12:00

This week, the story of a strange return, an illuminated jacket saves the world, top 11 reasons why Trumple Thinskin is nuts and a fight about babies.

Donald Trump has behavioral issues from 2020-02-24T13:30

This week, a rock and roll roadie refuses to spill the beans, there's cats on drugs, some concrete has a birthday and a home selling problem.

Casting the LBC panto from 2020-02-17T14:30

Description: This week: your personal, private rules of the road; a little light sarcasm; tracksuits; a message from afar and a tale from even further.

The World's Worst Breakfast from 2020-02-10T13:00

This week, I make the mistake of reading the leaflet that came with my pills, try to recall the name of the second best Star Wars film, Donald Trump tells us about his wand and how to cook chips.

The Cost o' Coffee from 2020-02-03T12:30

This week there's squirrels, turtles, clapping and the perils of going to the cinema. I get asked a very difficult question and robots laugh at our culinary skills.

The Earth's got wind from 2020-01-27T14:14

This week, an alarming discovery in Siberia, a lively disagreement about a particular sport, I read the pamphlet that came with my pills and insects doing maths.

Using superglue to save the world and win £100 from 2020-01-20T12:00

This week, after Extinction Rebellion was briefly listed as a terrorist organisation, we revisit the time when the pink boat people took over central London and had a surprising effect. There's als...

The one where I lock myself out from 2020-01-13T12:00

It turns out that it is frighteningly easy to lock yourself out and incredibly hard to break back in again

The Curious Incident of the Intruder in the Night-Time from 2020-01-06T12:00

This week, someone overcomes the laws of nature and defies death, there's a chap with a delicious accent talking about Baby Yoda, a priceless chat with the "algorithm" man and I receive an unwelcom...

What not to put on your strawberries from 2019-12-18T10:20

This week , Donald Trump's scary blimp, a little light political fighting, the EU bans dying and I find a friend in a friend of Jesus.

Buying a slightly used, second hand pet from 2019-12-09T12:00

This week, we go back to the summer and learn about Theresa May's Brasier, there's the Bob Dylan v Kylie Minogue Heavyweight Championship Ultimate Smackdown, we sing the praises of a certain type o...

Pills, thrills and badminton rackets from 2019-12-02T12:46

This week, we learn about loos on the 8.03, the type of pills you should never run out of, there's a rant about drivers, the great insect war hots up and what one man looks for in a woman (not what...

Mr Whatabout and Mrs Shoutsalot from 2019-11-25T13:20

This week, I am pummeled by volume, a caller asks an incredible question, a discussion about economics that was decided by two falls and a submission and there's a peek behind the scenes of my radi...

Fun with carbon dioxide from 2019-11-18T12:00

This week, I go to the seaside, get a lesson in science from someone who knows less than I do, there's a heated debate about the value of the royals and a woman complains about my volume.

Cats, bats, lotto and blotto from 2019-11-11T12:00

This week is a hoot-and-a-half. There's tales of misdemeanours at the highest level, an offensive but cute cat story, what it means to be British and I get shouted at a LOT!

How to pick a fight with everybody from 2019-11-04T12:50

This week, a caller has a go at all of my other callers, a man doesn't like my atitude, a woman talks about her knees and I sign up for Mad Max Fury Road 2.

The Phantom Nose Picker from 2019-10-28T16:30

This week, we finger a guilty party, a woman has a bin rant, the problem with the England football manager and fashion.

The Classic Rock 'n' Roll Issue from 2019-10-21T14:05

This week, there's some controversial things said about political opponents, a classic call about cheese and a lot of rock and roll.

The problem with time travel from 2019-10-14T12:00

This week, we go back..way back...back into time, a great double act call in, I try to get a GP appointment and saving the planet with Prince Harry.

When getting what you want isn't what you want. from 2019-10-07T11:00

This week there's a message from a small green Muppet, we relive a famous domestic incident, a foreigner commiserates us for our choice of leader, the most miserable countries are ranked and I miss...

How to deal with unwelcome guests from 2019-09-30T12:00

This week, we learn of a terrible use for hairspray (nothing to do with Donald Trump), a man complains about his job, how not to watch Pulp Fiction and what Boris Johnson's name says about him.

It's good to talk from 2019-09-23T11:45

This week there's a lot of people calling me on the phone with terrible tales about using their phone and losing their phone.There's stories about flying phones, emergency dialing, a missing sixp...

There's electricity in the air from 2019-09-16T08:00

This week, we stick our fingers in the socket to stop the electricity leaking out, I am left bewildered by a caller that I can't quite follow and we find the source of Boris Johnson's popularity.

Losing consciousness from 2019-09-09T11:00

In this week's riotous podcast, we hear there's (no) evidence of God, I hatch a shocking plan to deal with our most disappointing politicians, a man tries to come up with one good reason to leave s...

Steve Allen's smalls and a lesson in ganja from 2019-09-02T11:00

This week, we strike a trade deal with a very unlikely place, eliminate poverty, fit Jacob Rees-Mogg with a Home Guard uniform and broom handle, root around Steve Allen's sock drawer and I get scho...

Now hang on a minute right from 2019-08-26T11:00

This week I play Simon Cowell and discover a star, there's lights in the sky and they aren't stars and I get a lesson in politeness.

The War on Cows from 2019-08-19T10:49

This week we get skooled in writing proper by Jacob Rees-Mogg, we try to play Fortnite but we aren't dressed right, a man tries and fails to explain the weather and there's an alarming suggestion a...

The Alarming Toilet Episode from 2019-08-12T10:50

This week my glamorous assistant shares too much, I get a lesson in moaning from a man in the theatre, the moon people come out at night and a shocking revelation about what actually goes on in the...

An explosive answer to crime from 2019-08-05T12:37

In this episode we hear of an alarming way to combat crime, we discuss this nation's sporting excellence, a man calls in with his head in his hands and a woman clears up after herself because it is...

How wide is a cow? from 2019-07-29T10:57

This week, I get a history lesson from Austria, the mystery of why people fall for the Tangerine Scream, a solution to your stress, and a man has a problem with his tool.

Nude wrestling for Number 10 from 2019-07-22T10:59

This week: a caller starts a massive fight about Europe, we learn the truth about democracy, I am taken to task about something I didn't say and Boris Johnson is challenged to go naked mud wrestling.

A small personal explosion from 2019-07-15T04:00

This time, we learn just how boring French TV is, there's a lot of talk about kebabs, a woman calls in with a question but doesn't like the answer and I have a special moment that I couldn't help b...

Smiling and waving from 2019-07-05T13:42

In this episode: I am corrected by a furious cab driver; a lady complains about James Bond; a man asks many questions about Trump, Boris and God; we fly the flag for Britain and someone calls in w...

Is there a psychologist in the house? from 2019-06-28T13:52

This week, I get told off for getting something right, a bewildering call comes from someone with qualifications, we get sniffy about phone boxes and the tale of the Sunday Laundry Criminals.

Up to our knees in Glastonbury from 2019-06-21T13:02

Glasto is not the only show in town but it is certainly the biggest and that's where we go this week, with a detour to Farageland, advice on tents and a little light arguing about the "B" word.

Mr Grabby Hands Hates Electricity from 2019-06-15T17:14

In the age of the 24 hour-a-day multiple news-gasms, let The Nick Abbot Habit be your guide. It's fast and funny and sometimes furious. All opinions are correct, apart from those that aren't. Plus ...

What do you call it if you can see the sea? from 2019-06-07T10:18

This week, we take a peek at 1970's bathroom suites, find out a lot about islands, I have a fight with a man about cars, someone spots A John Cleese (not THE John Cleese) and we discover what a maj...

Flushing your loved ones down the loo. from 2019-05-31T12:30

This week, helpful callers have excellent advice for Theresa May, who may not like it; there's an unseemly way to serve strawberries; how to say 'scone' and a man in a bra fills a bath with potatoes.

The Eurovision Fight Contest from 2019-05-24T12:51

In this episode, I receive a very brief call from God's representative on Earth, we go yodeling in Holland and there is a minor altercation about Brexit and Trump.

How to water your plastic lawn from 2019-05-17T15:44

This week, we learn how to save water by brushing your teeth funny, how to waste water by keeping your fake grass moist, how to lose money by letting politicians mark their own homework and I have...

Kicking them in the ballots from 2019-05-10T10:16

This week: some people spoiled their ballot papers and one man was very proud about it; a perfectly believable theory on why that might not be a good idea and a pretty good joke about it; saving mo...

Intimate relations with aliens from 2019-05-04T08:36

This week, the shortest call to my LBC show, a man gets a surge, a young woman deliberately shuts out the on-line world and the USNavy says aliens from space are here and a professor says they are...

Digging for victory from 2019-04-29T08:16

This week, we talk cars and pink boats, weird science, a man from the bank protests his innocence and we go fondling tubers.

Cats versus dogs - there can be only one winner from 2019-04-23T11:04

This week: which pet makes you happiest, swinging with Nigel Farage, pronouncing Anunzianzioozit and a shouty woman bangs onabout the war.

The Great Brexit Lipstick Catastrophe from 2019-04-12T14:07

This week, the effect that Brexit is having on your personal facial area, the competing stories on the origins of Easter eggs, how we are paying for the private jets of the super-rich, the spy in y...

The James Bond elimination game. from 2019-04-05T10:14

This week, we terminate some superspy candidates, over-eat chocolate treats, there's a lot of marching going on and a confused man sets me homework.

Marching (some of the way) for freedom. from 2019-03-29T12:32

In this episode, the inside scoop on Nigel Farage's Stroll to Nirvana, the army is on standby to keep a lid on things if our exit celebrations get out of hand and an American explains what's happen...

Warning: Do not alight on the Isle of White from 2019-03-22T18:26

This week, the perils of a day trip to the south coast, the worst drivers on the road, a little light heavy music and I get told I'mnot doing my job correctly.

Away with the birds from 2019-03-15T13:33

Some of my favourite calls from the past few months, which I think are properly hilarious. There's the man who got locked in the toilet, the lady with the sparrows in her garden, the shortest call ...

Saving the planet one pie at a time from 2019-03-08T00:01

A man goes mad about fish, two people fight over Theresa May and the secrets of the gorgeous pictures on the front of our food packets.

It's not our party but we can go if we want to from 2019-03-01T06:00

This week, we fail at walking the dog, we pay for the rich to go skiing, there's a new party in town and tips on where not to live by the people that live there.

What do you want to be when you grow up? from 2019-02-22T18:22

In this episode: Career choices for teens; Donald Trump's physical shows he is part human; an arthritic slow moving political coup; France plays nice and two people shout at me about a member of th...

Our get up and go just got up and left. from 2019-02-15T13:52

In this episode: you are invited to a party but you might not want to go, the alarming dangers that come with our pets, the unfit-for-fighting army and the man who fell asleep while on-hold for my ...

Trump's good genes and sea food fights back from 2019-02-08T14:41

We find out why Donald Trump is that colour, a menu leaves a bad taste in the mouth, the attack of the killer octopus, a man sues hisparents for being his parents and two callers school me on Brexit.

He grunts and squeaks and squawks like the Mafia. from 2019-01-31T16:59

Norman pushes drugs, Roger talks like a Mafia Don and global warming is a hoax because it is cold outside.

Boris Mounts a Hoe from 2019-01-25T14:19

This week: Boris Johnson channels Churchill (again); relying on the Chinese to save us from the dark; the soothing properties of furniture packaging; who should not be the next James Bond and two a...

Prince Harry's new boiler, the RAF's new toys and a VERY ANGRY VEGAN. from 2019-01-18T15:18

Prince Harry's new boiler, the RAF's new toys and a VERY ANGRY VEGAN.

A Merry Christmas Special from 2018-12-13T18:16

In this episode: Donald Trump saves his energy, zombies are alive (ALIVE!) beneath your feet, bore holes, Blackpool and babies.

Trump fans have tiny weenies from 2018-12-05T09:03

In this Christmas-free episode: Chips, glorious chips, the gaming industry takes on the fishing industryand the gaming industry wins, Harry and Meghan play fixer-uppers, an insight into what motiv...

Christmas is Cancelled from 2018-11-29T09:19

This week: Santa cracks the whip, Donald Trump has been a naughty President, Theresa May is popular (oh yes she is!) and the most rock 'n'roll story ever. Plus, two nice oldish ladies get confused...

No need to wait - the future is now from 2018-11-21T13:11

Your next doctor will be a robot. The thing you ordered online will be delivered by an automaton using magnets. We are all about to have our jobs terminated by The Terminator. But don't fret - ther...

Nick Gets Corrected from 2018-11-09T17:45

In this episode: the destruction of everything we hold dear, a giant statue made of your money, why we work too hard for our own good, a very angry caller and a very famous actor sticks his oar in.

Theresa May's Magic Dust Cloud and Donald Trump's tiny mushroom from 2018-09-30T23:00

In the first of this series of brand new Nick Abbot podcasts: Donald Trump rates his sexual performance, Theresa May gets a lecture on the mating rituals of hedgehogs, Nick tells some jokes that ma...

Theresa May's Magic Dust Cloud and Donald Trump's tiny mushroom from 2018-09-30T23:00

In the first of this series of brand new Nick Abbot podcasts: Donald Trump rates his sexual performance, Theresa May gets a lecture on the mating rituals of hedgehogs, Nick tells some jokes that ma...

Theresa May's Magic Dust Cloud and Donald Trump's tiny mushroom from 2018-09-30T23:00

In the first of this series of brand new Nick Abbot podcasts: Donald Trump rates his sexual performance, Theresa May gets a lecture on the mating rituals of hedgehogs, Nick tells some jokes that ma...

Theresa May's Magic Dust Cloud and Donald Trump's tiny mushroom from 2018-09-30T23:00

In the first of this series of brand new Nick Abbot podcasts: Donald Trump rates his sexual performance, Theresa May gets a lecture on the mating rituals of hedgehogs, Nick tells some jokes that ma...