028 - Parenting 101 - a podcast by Jen Hardy

 

 Today, Joy Acaso and I talked about:

• Parents need to take care of themselves so they don't feel overwhelmed.
• Rules and relationships have to go hand in hand.
• If we put everything into our family but don't take care of ourselves, the guilt comes out, then we start to parent out of hurt, and fear, and anger which isn't good at all.
• If you're parenting alone and hitting your breaking point, the first thing to do is slow down and take 10 minutes to figure out a game plan.
• You might need to reach out to the community, a friend, or a professional to get parenting help if you're in a crisis.
• Don't discipline out of anger.
• When we discipline, we don't only want to teach them that what they did was wrong, but also the right way.
• Your children are growing up, and some of their views will be different from you, and that's ok.
• Keeping an open dialogue is very important.
• Remember that they're an expert on what they're listening to or watching. Ask them to explain them to you. Acknowledge that you understand they know more about some things.
• 0-9 are critical years, and kids are the most moldable. Self-esteem is stable, healthy, and at its height at this age.
• At the age of 9, self-esteem drops.
• Starting at 9, we need to adjust how we talk to and relate to our kids. We shouldn't wait until they're teens to adjust the way we parent.

Quotes from Joy Acaso:
"Don't be so scared of the new or different thing...we need to walk alongside our children. Our voice needs to be heard by our children."

"Making sure I please mom and dad, is at the back of every kids head, at every age."

"They - our children - want material things but...they also... expect: warmth, approval, and acceptance from their parents."

"The motivated mom knows the power in her words, her thoughts, and her habits."

What to do if you want a better relationship with your kids

• Listen to their music
• Watch their shows
• Google the things they love so you can understand them.
• Do all that so you can know what they're into and stay connected.

"Rules and relationships have to go hand in hand." Joy Acaso

 

How to have a better relationship with your teens:

• Starting at 9, we need to adjust how we talk to and relate to our kids. Knowing that, and starting early can help.
• They're trying to figure out the world, and we take it personal.
• Ask what's going on instead of labeling them as beligerent, etc.
• Understand that peers and hormones affect our relationships with our kids.
• Don't say, "you always," or "you never."
• No name calling.
• Ask yourself, are your child's different values hurting anyone or putting them in danger, or are they just a matter of preference? Are they compromising their integrity or not being compassionate to the world? If their values are not causing bad things, we need to accept that they're different from ours and keep talking - and listening.

 

 

You can find me at HardyMom.com

 

Thank you for joining me,
Jen

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Our music is "A New Day," by Scott Holmes

Further episodes of Fabulous Over 50 - Inspiring Gen X

Further podcasts by Jen Hardy

Website of Jen Hardy