11.19 The Social Fabric Project (wk3) FRIENDSHIP & the underlying meaning of this everyday word - a podcast by George Stull

George - In some ways, we all may undervalue the depth of friendship as a vital aspect of growth and learning in the spiritual life. But understanding the deeper meaning of true friendship can have incredible healing possibilities for our lives. For me, often, poetry helps me understand the underlying, deeper meaning of words. The essay below, by one of my favorite poets, David Whyte, opened my heart and understanding to what Jesus may have actually meant when he called us "friends" in John 15.

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FRIENDSHIP not only helps us see ourselves through another's eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses, as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. 

A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, even when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. 

Real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die. 

The ultimate touchstone of friendship is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.

A close friendship will always reveal the shadow in the other as much as ourselves, to remain friends, we must know the other and their difficulties and encourage the best in them, not through critique but through addressing the better part of them, thus subtly discouraging what makes them smaller, less generous, less of themselves.

Through the eyes of a real friendship an individual is larger than their everyday actions, and through the eyes of another we receive a greater sense of our own personhood, one we can aspire to, the one in whom they have most faith.

—David Whyte, Consolations

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